by Carter, TK
“Hello, lady bug,” I answered.
“Chance, have you heard from Michelle?” she breathed.
My heart skipped a beat. “No, why?”
“Brandon just called me and said she took off with the kids a few hours ago and hasn’t come home yet. He’s trying to find her.”
“I guess Sherlock Holmes tried her cell phone?”
She sighed. “I mean she left left . . . as in she’s left him, I guess.”
My knees buckled as I fell onto the couch. “Are you shitting me?”
She sniffled. “I know, right? She’s not answering my calls, either, which means she’s probably figured out that Brandon’s trying to find her. Can you try to get a hold of her?”
I thought about it for a second. “I’m not really sure her leaving is a bad thing, Katie.”
She cut me off. “She’s got his kids, Chance. It’s not just about her.”
“Whoa, whoa, they’re her kids, too. Did he tell you what happened?”
“Not much just that she’s been hard to live with the last few months and she went off the deep end this morning and left.”
I mumbled, “Yeah, well I’m sure there’s way more to that story than he’s letting on.”
“Chance, stop with the judgment for a second and realize that we all know that Michelle hasn’t been herself for a while. She could really be in trouble and she’s got her kids with her.”
I snarled. “Maybe you should remember for a second that Brandon is a complete douchebag who likes to take his jabs at our friend. Michelle’s unstable at times but she’ll never put those kids in harm’s way.”
“Ugh, whatever. I’ll try Alissa and Dani. If you hear from Michelle, please call me.” She hung up and I threw my phone on the couch to pout.
Where does she get off calling me all frantic making demands and taking Brandon’s side? We haven’t even heard from Michelle yet! I grabbed my phone and dialed Michelle’s number. “No, this doesn’t look obvious at all,” I mumbled.
Michelle answered on the third ring, “Guess news travels fast, huh?”
I chuckled. “Just trying to make sure you’re not holed up in a culvert somewhere with your three homeless children, kiddo. Katie just called.”
She sighed. “Yeah, she and Brandon have been blowing up my phone. I haven’t heard from her in months, so I figured he called her.” She muffled the phone and said something to her kids I couldn’t make out then returned to the phone. “Okay, they’re going to go look at toys, so I have a few minutes.”
“Where are you?”
“We’re at Walmart.” Her voice cracked when she said, “I couldn’t take it anymore, Chance. He’s such an absolute douche.”
“Well, yeah! He always has been. What set you off, kid?”
“Everything. The way he chews his food, seeing the boys cry at breakfast, shoving a dirty plate at me, how completely disrespectful he is . . .”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, what? Tell me what happened.”
“I can’t get into it right now; I’m in Walmart a week before Christmas, so you can imagine how packed this place is. I’ll tell you all about it tonight at Alissa’s party.”
“Okay, but meanwhile what are you going to do? Where are you going to go?” She hesitated longer than I liked, so I continued. “I have nothing going on today, Michelle. Bring the kids over. They can play with Chubs and watch TV while we catch up. I just brewed a pot of coffee.”
She giggled. “You know how to tease me.”
“Will you come?”
She sniffled. “Yeah, we’ll be over shortly.”
Twenty minutes later, they filtered through my door looking like they had just emerged from a homeless shelter. I could tell the boys had no interest in being drug from place to place, but they’d just have to deal for a while. I hugged Del Ray and remembered I’d forgotten to have that chat Michelle had asked me to have with her about sex at a young age. I grimaced with the thought and thanked my lucky stars I’d forgotten. I was uncomfortable just thinking about it.
I turned over the remote to the boys and set Del Ray up on my iPad then took Michelle into the dining room to have a chat. She warmed her hands on the coffee mug in front of her. “It’s bitter cold out there today.”
I nodded. “I’m pretty sure Chubs’s piss was frozen before it hit the ground this morning.”
She chuckled. “That’s an awesome visual.” She cleared her throat and glanced over her shoulder at the kids in living room. She shook her head. “I don’t know why I’m being all secretive. It’s not like they weren’t there to see the whole thing.”
I looked at her then noticed the drastic change in her appearance. “Good Lord, Michelle, stand up!”
She frowned. “What’s wrong?”
“Look at you! How much weight have you lost? Geez, you look fantastic!”
She giggled, stood up, and held up her three-sizes-too-big sweatshirt. “I’m down thirty-two pounds as of this week.” She turned around in a circle and threw her arms out to the side. “Ta-da!”
I gasped. “Wow, that’s incredible! Your clothes are hanging off you, though. I’ll have to give you some of my stuff.”
Her eyes grew wide. “Really? That’d be great!”
“Sure. When we’re done here, we’ll raid my closet. It’ll be fun.”
“Gosh, I haven’t worn your clothes since after Del Ray was born.” She bit her lip. “I don’t know if I can wear them, Chance.”
“Meh, we’ll give it a shot. So, catch me up on the last three months. Obviously you’re surviving on saltines and lettuce, but what else?”
She laughed. “Actually, no, I’m eating but I’m working out every day. You remember Alissa bought me that membership, right? Well that was a complete abomination to one young Brandon-san who said I didn’t need to spend any more time away from the family than I already did. So, I started getting up early in the mornings and attending a class. It just went from there, and then I lost my job—”
My mouth flew open. “What? When?”
“About three months ago, I guess.”
“Good grief, child, and you never thought to pick up the phone?”
She grimaced. “I was in a . . . dark place, Chance. And I knew if I talked to you or anyone else about it, the checkbooks would come flying out, and I just didn’t want to deal with Brandon on any of it.”
She had a point. None of us like to see Michelle struggle the way she has, and while it hasn’t happened often, we’ve all taken a turn at giving her money to get her through. Not that she’s asked for it—she would never. But giving money when we’ve got it to spare and wouldn’t miss it anyway when one of our own is struggling is what we do. And if she’d called and said she’d just lost her job, you can bet Alissa, Dani, and I would have been racing each other to the wet ink.
Michelle set her coffee cup down and wiped her eyes on her sweatshirt sleeve. I hopped up to grab the box of tissues that had become my best friend over the last few months and placed them in front of her.
“Thanks,” she said as she grabbed three out at a time. She took a deep breath. “I tried like hell to find a new job. No one wants to hire a thirty-something whose only real talent lies in a kitchen, and flipping burgers wasn’t an option. So, I’ve been working out every day, and this morning, I was offered a job at the gym.”
I grinned. “Michelle, that’s great.”
She groaned. “See? You get it. Why can’t he?” She dabbed at her eyes. “Anyway, I made this huge breakfast for the family and Brandon lost his shit when I told him about the job offer. He started in on me, and the next thing I know, Del Ray is standing up for me and yelling at her father, the boys are crying in their scrambled eggs, and Brandon’s shoving Del Ray’s breakfast plate in my gut. So we left.” She blew her nose and reached for my arm. “I just wanted to have one meal with my kids where one of us weren’t on the verge of tears. Ya know? Just one meal where we’re sitting down like a normal family enjoying each other’s company. I didn
’t really mean to leave-leave, but I don’t want to go home.” She whispered, “And I don’t think they do, either.”
I glanced at the kids in the living room and studied their blank expressions. I looked at her. “You know, Michelle, I’m leaving for six months. My apartment is paid up; all of my bills for this place are pre-paid through June . . .”
She held up her hand. “Don’t do that . . . just . . . not right now. I can’t be tempted with that while I’m trying to make a solid decision for my family. I appreciate it, I really do. But let me just think for a while before you dangle that carrot.”
I smiled. “Okay, well the offer is there. Just tuck it back in the back of your mind.” I leaned in and whispered, “What about Christmas?”
She shrugged and shook her head as she pursed her lips. Her eyes filled with tears and she shook her head again as they dripped down her face.
I felt my nose tingle with brewing tears and bit my lip. “Will you let me help you? Please? Let me do this for you. I don’t have any family to buy for, so let me spoil yours this year.”
Her eyes sparkled as she gasped, “Are you serious?”
I nodded. “I promise, I won’t miss it as conceited as that must sound, but it’s true. I’ll give you the money and keep the kids so you can go shopping today. And get yourself some damn clothes while you’re at it, okay? Don’t make me review your receipts when you get back.”
She giggled and slid across the table to hug me. “I would never take you up on this if I wasn’t desperate.”
“Well that’s your own damn fault.”
She laughed. “Maybe so. Oh my gosh, I’m so excited! Chance, you don’t know what you’ve just done for me. I feel like the world just lifted off my whole body and I can breathe again.”
“Come on, let’s run to the bank real quick before they close. It’s just up the street, so the kids will be fine here by themselves.”
She stood up and pulled on her coat. “Guys, we’ll be right back. Don’t move, and don’t break anything.”
I laughed. “And don’t flush the dog.”
The boys grinned and shook their heads. Del Ray rolled her eyes and came into the dining room. “Where are you going, Mom?”
“We’re just going to run up to the . . . store for a minute. Need anything?”
“No, thanks. You’re coming back, though, right?”
“Of course. Give me ten, maybe twenty minutes, and we’ll be right back.”
I made Michelle stay in the car while I went into the lobby and withdrew fifteen hundred dollars from my savings account. While I knew that was complete overkill for Christmas, I hoped to give her a cushion to hide from Brandon in the event she went back to him and got put on lock-down for her erratic behavior. It was really bugging me that three of us were about to be hundreds of miles away from her during this time. Katie was probably closer to her than all of us, but after our phone conversation today, I wasn’t sure she was wearing the Team Michelle shirt, and that bothered me.
I got back in the car and handed her the envelope. “Don’t bother counting it. Just spend, okay?”
She took the fat envelope. “You’ve got to be shitting me, Chance.”
“Just take it and be quiet,” I giggled. “You might need some of that later, so just make sure you get yourself some clothes and give your babies an awesome Christmas. Sounds like they’ve had a shitty few months, so you can make it up to them. But you cannot tell Brandon you have that money, you hear me? Next thing you know he’ll have a new guitar or golf clubs and you won’t have beans.”
She nodded and stuffed the envelope in her purse. “I don’t think I’ve ever held that much cash at once. I’m all nervous and shit.”
I laughed. “Well if you want to leave some of it at the house while you shop, that’s up to you.”
“Yeah, I probably will. Thanks again, Chance. I can’t . . .”
“You are loved. Deal with it.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Say My Name
Alissa
Saturday morning, I stayed in bed rubbing the bump I fell in love with yesterday. Eighteen weeks pregnant, nearly half-way over, and I finally found that feeling that Michelle and Katie had warned me about. The maternal instincts I’d tried my damnedest never to feel again after my sisters turned on me slammed like waves against my shore. I curled into a ball and giggled as the flutters and bumps of an active baby tickled my insides.
“So, you’re a morning person, huh baby?” I mumbled. I waited for the Morse code response and envisioned the little person looking around wide-eyed trying to figure out where that voice came from. I didn’t even know if the little feller had eyes yet, but the more I thought about it, the funnier it got. I jumped up and raced to my bathroom to pee before I let loose in my bed. I washed my hands and did my daily belly check. Yep, there was no denying that a baby was growing in my belly. To people who don’t know me, they’d never notice; to my friends and family who are used to my six-pack abs, it would be evident.
Dani knocked on my door. “Lis? You awake?”
I shouted, “Yeah, I’m in the bathroom.”
She came in. “I heard you laughing in here. Well, laughing or crying—I couldn’t tell.” She looked at me in the mirror as I admired my baby bump and grinned. “Yep, there’s definitely a baby in there.”
I smiled. “I had flutters when I woke up, and something struck me funny. I think this baby is definitely a morning person.”
She pointed to my belly. “May I?”
“Sure.”
She placed her hands on my belly and leaned over to speak. “Good morning, beautiful child. I can’t wait to meet you and hold you in my arms.” She wiped a tear from her eyes and looked at me. “I’m not even going to pretend this isn’t awkward.”
I laughed. “Well, if you wanted to ruin a beautiful moment, you did a good job.” I clenched my teeth to stop the tears swelling in me. I rubbed my belly. “Eighteen weeks, Dani. Just twenty-two more to go, and it will be baby-day.”
She sighed and leaned against the wall. “I still can’t believe this is real. I keep thinking I’ll wake up and my world will still be shattered and vacant.” She touched my belly again. “And then I see this, and I’m reminded that dreams come true and prayers get heard.”
I smiled and turned on the shower. “I’m, uh . . . I’m going to shower and get this day started.”
“Okay. I’ll bring you some juice.”
“That’s fabulous, wifey.”
“Oh shut up,” she chuckled as she left the bathroom.
The tears I’d choked on rolled down my face as I undressed and stepped into the shower. I needed to talk to Chance. I needed to talk to someone and get all this out of my head so someone could talk some sense into me. I know it must be natural to be pregnant and actually like the little critter, but it shouldn’t be like shredding razors going through my heart to think about giving it up when this pregnancy is all said and done.
But, I’ve never had anyone one-hundred percent on my side, and now I’ve committed to giving up the one person on this whole earth that would always be my champ, always be in my corner, and would always love me.
Or am I? Look at me and my mother. I couldn’t wait to get away from her and leave behind our life of lunacy and neglect. And that right there was why I couldn’t take the chance that my offspring would ever feel that way about me. No one but the women coming to dinner tonight had ever been devoted to me. Hell, my own family thinks I’m a nut case. Yes, letting Dani take care of this baby was the best thing for everyone. Even if it meant leaving a permanent vacant hole in my soul for the rest of my life.
I bent down to wash my legs and felt the baby wiggling again. Soft, deliberate, delicate, and consoling. I swear it was trying to soothe me. I choked on a sob as I stood up and whispered, “Thank you, but you just don’t understand, baby. This is the only way you’ll ever have a chance at something awesome and normal. If my family ever gets wind that you exist, or god forbid
your father . . . you’re better off with Dani.”
A soft knock rapped on the door. “Lis? Here’s your juice.”
“Okay, thank you.”
“You okay?”
I cleared my throat. “Yep. Just finishing up.” My heart stopped. Oh God, did she hear me? Did she hear me talking to the baby? How would I ever make her understand what’s going on in my thick, selfish head? “What time is it?”
“A little after eight; are you hungry?”
“Yeah, oatmeal sounds fabulous right now.”
She chuckled. “I’m on it.”
“Do you think people will think we’re lesbians? In Florida, I mean.” I had to keep her talking to feel out the situation.
She sighed. “Ya know, I wondered that same thing. And I’ve come to the conclusion that it really doesn’t matter, because we won’t be there long enough for it to make a difference either way.”
Okay, she’s good. She didn’t hear me. If she’d heard me, her response would have been much shorter and she’d have left. I shut off the shower. “I’ll meet you in the kitchen unless you want to see all this.”
She giggled. “I’ll be seeing more of you than I ever wanted to soon enough. I’ll be in the kitchen.”
A few hours later, both of our phones chimed with texts from Katie. Have you heard from Michelle? We came out of the rooms we were cleaning to stare at each other in confusion.
“Did you get the text from Katie? Have you heard from Michelle?” I asked Dani.
She shook her head. “No, but why is Katie trying to find her?”
“Maybe she needs a recipe.” I typed a quick response and waited for Katie to elaborate. She didn’t. “Did she reply to you?”
Dani looked at her phone again. “Nope. Oh wait . . . she said if she shows up here to call her.” She shrugged.
“Think we should call Michelle?” I asked.
“Nah, if it was serious, someone would have called us and not sent a text. I’m sure it’s nothing.”