by Carter, TK
“Well, damn. We were making out, or so I thought, then he starts groaning and saying, ‘doesn’t that feel good, baby?’ I was still waiting for the moment, ya know? I was like, ‘oh god, he’s in, he’s in,’ and I had no idea.” Alissa rolled her eyes.
“She said . . . she said he was like a wind-up toy gone mad then thirty seconds later, he was completely passed out.” Chance wiped her eyes and sighed. “That’s one of my favorite Lis stories ever.”
Alissa chuckled. “I’m so glad you enjoyed it. At least one of us did. Will you please text Tony so we can get this done?”
Chance pulled out her phone and grinned that cute little grin that people get when they’re in love. I remember when Brandon and I started dating in high school—long before cell phones or the Internet erupted on the scene. We had a few classes together, but most of the time we saw each other in passing in the hallway. He made it a point to leave a note in my locker in between every class to make sure I knew he was thinking of me. The first few years of marriage, I’d find post-it notes or random cards left in the refrigerator on the milk carton or tucked in my panty drawer. Sometimes they were poetic, sometimes they were just smiley faces. When we got cell phones, he sent sweet texts or inside jokes that always made me smile. Then the texts turned into reminders, and then they slowly faded into questions from the grocery store. After D-Day, the sweet texts returned for a while, but then the slow fade hit again.
Listening to my friends talk about their vast sexual experiences left me grateful for my one-hit wonder. I’m glad I never had to deal with all that. Brandon still swears I was his first, but he’s a lying little shit, so I don’t know if I believe him.
I had an idea and whipped out my cell phone. Walking through Naples talking about condom sizes. So glad I know nothing about this. Love you. I hit send and waited for the three little magical dots to appear telling me he was responding. When they appeared, a familiar tug pulled at my heart. I missed my husband. He responded, Me and you both, beautiful. Miss you. Love you too. For the first time in months, I, too, had that cute little grin on my face.
Chapter Forty-One
Fallin’
Alissa
Chance is getting married tomorrow. “Holy shit!” doesn’t even begin to cover the whirling going through my mind.
On one hand, I feel it’s my responsibility to grab her, shake her, and remind her of all the reasons she never wanted to get married and not let her get wrapped up in the heightened emotions and romance. The eternal wingman, that’s me. It’s like diving in between your drunk friend who’s about to go home with someone from the bar who will have her gnawing at her own arm to get free the next morning.
I do admit Chance has been a much better wingman to me over the years, since even when she’s drunk, she’s sensible. She’s come up with some awesome lines, that’s for sure. I think my favorite was when she told this guy we were Navy SEALs and had just been paged to a secret mission. One that wasn’t so funny was when she told a guy I had a spastic colon and had to wear diapers to bed. She asked where his car was parked so she could leave my “special bag” on his side mirror. It took a few days to get over that one. I still remember him being smoking hot, but Chance remembers him as a dead ringer for an extra in Miami Vice. So yeah, I guess she’s been a better wingman than I have, even if she’s an ass.
But this was different. It’s Tony, for Pete’s sake. I glanced at her then looked over my shoulder to see where the other three had stopped. “Okay, we’ve got a minute. You know I wouldn’t be a good best friend if I didn’t ask.”
Chance smiled. “I’ve been waiting for this. Go ahead, sister. Let it fly.”
“Are you absolutely sure this is what you want to do?” I held my breath and hoped Michelle wouldn’t rip off my tits for this.
Chance exhaled loudly. “Living without Tony . . . I’ve sat on the beach every night thinking the next day I’ll make an effort to meet a man’s eyes, smile, maybe strike up a conversation, and see where it goes. I thought about taking off to the bar after you two went to bed to find a one-night-stand so I could do something to break the tie to Tony. But Lis, when he showed up in that doorway, I’ve never wanted anything more in my life than to wipe away all this grief—to sit on the beach tonight knowing yesterday was the last day I’ll ever have to try to talk myself out of loving him. If this is the one thing that will make that happen, game on, sister.”
I stared at her face and looked for the telltale signs she was lying, but they weren’t there. I tilted my head. “Okay. Just doing my part. You know most married people live together.”
She sighed. “We’ve got time to work all that out. I told him I’d accept this on the condition that I stay in Florida until you leave.”
Relief washed over me. “I’m so glad to hear you say that.”
She frowned. “You didn’t think I was going back to St. Louis with him when he leaves, did you?”
I shrugged. “I didn’t know what you were going to do. If you’d asked me this morning if you were getting married tomorrow, I would have put all my money on no.”
“If you’d asked me that same question, we’d both be broke and hungry.”
“Things have a funny way of working out like they’re supposed to. Look at Dani.”
She nodded. “I guess.”
I looked over my shoulder and saw Katie, Dani, and Michelle chattering and trying to catch up to us. No doubt they were pumping her full of mothering tips and trading stories about first baths, midnight feedings, and colic. I looked at Chance and asked, “Do you think I’m doing the right thing?”
Chance whispered, “I don’t know, honey.”
I unlocked the doors to the Navigator and mumbled, “Me neither.”
One thing I won’t miss about being pregnant is how exhausted I am all the time. Our afternoon outing left me completely spent, and by the time we got back to the house, my feet were swollen, my back hurt, and my mood was touchy at best. I sat on the couch with my feet up eating ice cream while the rest of the crew went about the business of preparing for a wedding ceremony. I giggled as the baby kicked at the cold bowl sitting on my stomach and moved it back in place. I considered calling Dani to come watch, but I decided this moment would be just for me. The days of that happening were dwindling as it was.
Around nine, Chance came in from the beach. “Tony left. He said to tell all of you not to get me drunk unless I start getting cold feet then start pouring drinks down my throat.”
“Did you tell him that’s why we kept you drunk all day?” Michelle laughed.
She put a finger up to her mouth. “Shhh, he doesn’t have to know that, sister.”
Michelle held up two fingers. “Scouts honor.”
“You won’t get cold feet,” Katie said. “I think you’re over all that now. Are you going to let your apartment go?”
I sat up to break up the convo. “Well that’s enough of that. Chance, come help me up.”
“Having trouble navigating, there, honey?”
“You put a basketball on your bladder and tell me if you’d trust your own muscles to get the job done. Plus I’m tired. We put on a lot of miles today.”
She pulled me off the couch and whispered, “Thank you.”
“It’s what we do.” I winked.
Dani yawned. “I’m headed to bed. Sleep well.”
“Oh I don’t know how you can go to sleep right now,” Katie said. “I’m so excited about tomorrow. Like Christmas for a six-year-old. Sunset is at six thirty, so I figure if we start this show a little after six, the sun should be stunning by the time Tony kisses his bride.” She beamed at Chance and clapped her hands like a little girl. “This is so exciting. I’ve never seen anything like it.”
“It’s pretty surreal, honey. I put down some conditions tonight that Tony wasn’t overly fond of.” Chance smiled.
Oh god, here we go. “What kind of conditions?” I asked.
She waved. “Nothing huge. No deal breakers, if that’
s what your tone of dread suggested, Lis. I told him I want to keep my last name—for my career. Chance Bradley has a certain ring to it. Chance Agustin sounds . . . I don’t know . . . foreign.”
“Try Morehead on for size,” Michelle said. “See if that doesn’t make you cringe.”
“Lots of people keep their maiden names these days. What else?” I silently prayed, Please don’t let her move to St. Louis, God. Please don’t let that happen.
She said, “Well, the living arrangements are going to be a problem. His job is in St. Louis, and my life is in Columbia.” She glanced at me and shrugged. “I need more time to decide about that.”
Michelle frowned. “Chance, you move to St. Louis. End of story.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“It is that simple, Chance,” Katie said. “You just do it.”
She shook her head. “Not for me, ladies. I’ve got ‘til the end of May to make up my mind, so . . .”
I studied her face and saw her ears turning red. She was getting pissed. I announced, “Subject change. We need to make our game plan for tomorrow.”
I felt my excitement of the end of Chance’s heartbreak fading as reality swept over me. While I was happy for her, I was sad for me. This was a game-changer all the way around. Chance had been one of the only constants I had in my life. And now I’d be sharing her with someone who by rights should come first in her life. As much as I wanted Tony to take his rightful place in her life, I didn’t want him to take mine. I left Katie and Michelle to finalize the timeline for the big celebration and went upstairs to nurse my aching feet and heart.
Chance knocked softly on the door and poked her head inside. “Lis?”
I waved her in. “You all right?”
She closed the door. “I was about to ask you the same thing.”
“Just like when we were kids.” I patted the bed. “Only usually it was me sneaking out and coming to talk to you.”
She grinned and climbed onto the bed. “That seems like a lifetime ago and yesterday all at the same time.”
“You’re going to be fine, Chance. You’re doing the right thing, ya know.”
“Let’s hope so, honey.”
“Well, if you need a good divorce attorney, I know one.” I chuckled.
“Let’s hope it’s not that big of a mistake, kiddo.”
I tilted my head and looked at her. “You think this is a mistake?”
She sighed and looked out the window. She shook her head and whispered, “No, I really don’t. Doesn’t mean I’m not scared to death now that everything is in action. It’s just so fast.”
“Chance, this is exactly how it should be for you. You’ve never been the kind of girl to plan anything for too long. You ponder and ponder, think a little too much then plow in headfirst. When you came in announcing you’re getting married this weekend, I knew how perfect it was. No agonizing over dresses and cakes, no arguing over churches and invitations. It’s perfect for you, Chance, just like Tony.”
“He is pretty perfect.” She smiled.
“You’re going to be so happy, you won’t know what to do with yourself.”
She swallowed hard and whispered, “I want you to think about something.”
“You’re asking me to think?” I chuckled.
She gave me that sly side grin that’s broken a thousand hearts in bars across the Midwest. “It doesn’t hurt, I promise, honey.” She took my hand but couldn’t look at me. “I want you to think about relocating to St. Louis when we get back.”
I raised my eyebrows and cleared my throat. “That’s . . . yeah . . . that’s a lot to think about,” I mumbled.
“I know I’m asking a lot, Lis, but I don’t think I can live in a different city from you.” She swatted at a tear trickling down her face. “I need you. When you showed up in St. Louis the night of the media ball, I felt like Richard Gere had showed up in the white limo. I just kind of expected that it would always be me and you, ya know? I knew you’d get married at least once more before we shared a nursing home room, but . . .”
I laughed and smacked her leg. “Thanks for the vote of confidence. At least once, huh?”
“Just calling it as I see it, sister.” She winked.
I shrugged. “Yeah, well if it was good enough for Liz Taylor, it’s good enough for me.” I sighed and wrinkled my nose. “St. Louis?”
“It’ll be great! Please, please just think about it, okay?”
“What about . . . what about . . .” I pointed to my bulging belly.
She laughed. “I doubt he can make out what you’re saying, Lis. Well, of course I’d never ask you to leave if, you know, if it’s easier for you than I expect.”
I nodded slowly and smiled. This offer was more of a two-way street than I’d initially considered. She’s still acting like my wingman and preparing to give me a way out of an uncomfortable situation. God, I love that woman. I shook my head. “You’re amazing, Chance Bradley.”
She waved me off. “Oh, girl. I know. I’m so awesome, I’m in love with myself. But I’m glad you recognize it.”
“Yes, I’ll think about it.” I laughed. “So does that mean you’re moving to St. Louis when we get back?”
She threw herself back on the bed and groaned. “I don’t know. I’ve got six weeks to make up my mind.” She rolled onto her side and blinked several times. “Damn, I’m still pretty drunk.”
“I’m scared, Chance,” I whispered.
She sighed. “I know, babe.”
“I wish we could stay here forever. Stop time.”
“You could always buy this house.” She grinned.
“This place is too rich for my blood.” I huffed.
“You are coming back to Missouri, right?”
I looked at her and grinned. “Do you really think I wouldn’t?”
“In the delivery room, they’re going to hand the baby to Dani, Lis. You know that, right?”
I swallowed around the lump in my throat and nodded. “Yeah, I know. One of many moments I’m dreading in the next six weeks.”
She hesitated, started to speak, then hesitated again. “Remember I love you. I think”—she sighed and looked at me.—“I think you should let Dani name the baby.”
“Wow, you’re full of surprises tonight. Didn’t see that one coming.”
She held up her hand. “Listen, Lis, I think this is going to be way harder on you than you think—”
“You think I think this is going to be easy? Jesus, Chance, you must be drunk.”
“Honey, I’m not trying to be a douche. I think it would mean a lot to Dani if . . .”
I leveled my eyes at her. “Dani and I have already agreed we’re each going to pick a name.”
She stared at me and nodded. “Okay.” She slid across the bed and hugged me. “I’m taking my drunk ass to bed. Did you hear the rumor I’m getting married tomorrow?”
“Yeah, I heard hearts all across Missouri crack wide open.”
She grinned. “At least this time it wasn’t mine.” She shuffled toward the door and mumbled, “Man, I’m drunk.”
I yelled, ‘Ibuprofen and water.”
She held up a thumb and closed the door.
The next morning, I headed down the beach with my juice and blanket and found Chance sitting by the water. I tossed my blanket on the sand next to her. “The last time you were up this early, you hadn’t gone to bed.”
She wiped the tears off her face and chuckled. “Nah, I slept. Not much, but I slept. How you doing, honey?”
“Uh uh, spill it.”
She shrugged and looked at the water. “Just . . . reality. Been thinking about my parents a lot.”
That took me by surprise. Chance never talked about her parents. “I suppose that’s normal. Today is a big day.”
She sniffled and played with a stick in the sand. “They’ve been gone longer than they were in my life at this point. This year is twenty years.”
I remember when Chance’s parents died. We
were at her house working on algebra homework and talking about boys when her grandmother and two police officers showed up at the door. At fourteen years old, she was an orphan thanks to an impatient driver who ran a red light. That driver walked away with scratches but the Bradleys were pronounced dead at the scene. Her grandmother sold her house and moved in with Chance to lessen the loss. “No sense in uprooting the poor girl and making her change schools,” she’d said.
Chance flipped more sand with the stick. “Dad won’t walk me down the aisle. Or boardwalk, in this case.” She offered a weak grin.
I said, “I can walk you down the aisle. If that’s what you want.”
She looked at me and whispered, “Really?”
I nodded. “Sure, I’d be honored.”
“Lis, I need you today. I’m freaking out, and I don’t know if I can do this.”
I smiled. “You can do anything. You’re Chance-Fucking-Bradley. Stop being a pussy. This is Tony. To-ny. Do you want to live the rest of your life living in regret?”
She shook her head. “God, no.”
“Okay. So then just keep your eyes on the prize. How freaking romantic is it that he came all this way to find you? That in and of itself is a crotch-buster. But then the proposal and oceanfront ceremony? Holy shit, I can see why you’re thrown. That stuff only happens in the movies.”
“Yeah, but what happens after the credits roll, honey? What happens when it’s all said and done, and I’m . . . married?”
I smiled and grabbed the stick from her hand. “You live happily ever after. Give me that damn stick. You’re driving me crazy. You can sit out here and try to talk yourself out of marrying Tony or freak yourself out about the what-ifs, but you’re going to rob yourself of your peace and excitement for today. You broke that man’s heart in a million pieces and he still came back for you. Just . . . just be grateful for it, okay? I’d hate to punch you on your wedding day. Sheesh.”
She chuckled. “I’d hate to hit a pregnant lady.”
I pointed to the sunrise. “You have from this moment right now until that sun is fully up to get out all those bullshit thoughts running through your mind. But when that sun comes up, you have a fresh new start. You know I wear the Team Chance shirt twenty-four/seven, but Tony deserves for you to start this day madly in love with him and excited about your life with him. Don’t rob him of that.”