“Uh huh.” I laid my head back against the couch. “We had a lot of fun back in college. Too much damned fun.”
“Yeah. I miss those days.”
She sounded so sad that I patted her shoulder, realizing then — quite suddenly — how close we were sitting. Leah was practically in my lap, her hand resting against my chest, head on my shoulder. My temples throbbed, muddling my thoughts as I met her gaze through half-lowered eyes. The feeling of her lips on mine cut through my inebriated mind, and I pushed her back, sitting up as I scooted away from her on the couch.
When I looked at her again, her expression was an — almost— amusing mixture of tipsy and confused. I cleared my throat, shaking my head in an effort to clear away the clouds in my head as I stood on wobbly legs. “I’m going to bed. See you in the morning.”
Leah simply nodded, still squinting like she was confused as I escaped into my room. I took the hottest shower I could stand, which helped only a little, then crawled into bed.
A few hours later, half asleep and slightly hung-over, I grinned as Simone crawled into the bed beside me. Her mouth found a very particular spot behind my ear, and I instantly got hard in her hand as she stroked me up and down.
“What are you doing, Beautiful?” I murmured into the darkness, turning to kiss her. “I thought you were mad at me?”
The liquor on her breath permeated the air as she spoke. “Why would I be mad?”
Wait… what the fuck…
I jolted up in the bed, finally opening my eyes, even though I still couldn’t see in the pitch black. Clumsily, I felt along the wall for the light switch beside my bed. I found it and flicked it upward, a bitter tang rising in my mouth at the sight of Leah in my bed, in nothing but a tee shirt, her bare lower half exposed.
Pulling my boxers up to cover myself, I climbed out of the bed. “Leah, what the fuck is this? What are you doing?”
“What’s wrong, Roman?” she slurred as she sat up on her knees. “Don’t you wanna—”
“NO!” I bellowed, rushing to yank her shirt back down over her head. She giggled, falling into my arms with another blast of her drunken breath in my face. Suddenly, the smile dropped from her face, replaced with a look of queasiness. I swore under my breath, getting her to the bathroom just in time to prevent her throwing up all over my carpet. While she had her head in the toilet, I stood at the sink practically drowning myself in cold water as I tried to clear my head.
Seriously, what the fuck?
The ringing of my cell phone carried into the bathroom from it’s place in the pocket of my jeans, which were tossed haphazardly across the floor. Leaving Leah, I went to pick it up, fighting a wave of nausea when I saw it was Simone. I swallowed hard, trying to tamp down the guilt that swept through me before I answered the phone. She suspected this. She said this, and I brushed it off. With a heavy sigh, I slid my thumb across the screen to answer the call.
“Hey Beautiful,” I said, trying not to sound like I hadn’t just pulled my dick out of Leah’s hands.
“Roman…” The sound of Simone’s voice, filled with anguish, made my heart flip in my chest.
Feeling suddenly dizzy, I took a seat on the top of my desk. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry to call so late, but… I need you.”
I listened, my limbs growing heavier and heavier with shame as she explained where she was and why she was there. I’d been getting drunk with Leah while Simone was basically alone, grieving her best friend.
Clearing my throat, I told Simone I would I get to her as soon as possible, ending the call after we exchanged our usual “I love yous”. I let the phone clatter onto the desk and then sat there for a while, scrubbing a hand over my face before I looked up to see Leah standing in the bathroom door, her shoulders dropped in disgrace.
“Um… Roman, I—”
I held a hand up, shaking my head to indicate I really, really didn’t want to hear what she had to say.
“One. Month. No excuses.”
I felt like shit.
For the entire three hour drive to get to Simone, I wracked my mind, trying to figure out why I thought drinking with Leah was a good idea, as if a drunken night of grief hadn’t been the start of our short-lived disaster of a romantic relationship anyway. How damned slow-witted was I?
Now, I sat on the end of an unfamiliar bed, watching Simone’s hands shake as she tried to push the stem of her earring in, I felt worse than shit. While I was getting drunk and nostalgic with Leah, she was dealing with… this.
Simone had been the one to open the door for me at four AM to let me into Logan’s house. She practically leapt into my arms, holding me tight around the neck as she broke into raspy sobs. At some point, she took me back to her guest room, and I held her against my chest while she fitfully slept.
Her eyes were still rimmed in red and her cheeks were irritated and raw from scrubbing away her tears. Still, she looked beautiful when she turned to face me, taking a deep breath before she spoke. Beautiful and sad.
“I’m supposed to be singing,” she said, taking a seat beside me. “But I don’t think I can. I… I don’t wanna mess anything up.”
“You won’t.” I grabbed her hand, intertwining her fingers with mine. “You’ve got this, Beautiful. Just think about how proud India would be that she finally got you up in front of a crowd… that’s probably why India did this, you know? She’s forcing your hand, because she knows you’re not gonna let her down.” I leaned over to nudge her shoulder. “Besides, from the stories you’ve told me, India seems like the type that would haunt your ass, so… you might just wanna roll with it.”
Simone gave me a little smile, the first I’d seen since I got here. I wanted to kiss her — knew I probably should kiss her, but I felt like as soon as my lips touched hers, she would know something wasn’t right. Hell, I attributed the fact that she hadn’t already noticed something was off, to her grief. I hated to be grateful, but at least it gave me time to think.
Should I tell her about this mess? Or just let it ride, hoping it would somehow just stay between Leah and myself ? I forced back a sigh, not wanting Simone to feel anything was wrong. I didn’t understand how some men handled the lying, cheating, manipulative bullshit they pulled. The whole “player” thing had never been my style, and now I saw why. I wasn’t cut out for it. I hadn’t even done anything wrong really, yet my palms were sweating, stomach in knots, heart racing like I was about to get exposed. I knew I would have to tell Simone about the “incident”, or self-reproach would send me to an early grave.
But it definitely wouldn’t be today. Today was about her grieving for her friend, and I would do whatever she needed me to do, to facilitate that process — including escorting her to the front of the church and singing with her when she performed One Sweet Day, per India’s request. She was quiet, but composed throughout the process, and after the funeral and burial, she was ready to get back to the city. She clutched my hand as she made her way through the house, giving and receiving hugs from friends and family before we left.
We dropped off her rental so she could ride back with me. The ride was spent in silence, except for the background music of one of Simone’s neo-soul playlists streaming through the Bluetooth system in the car. When we arrived at her apartment, I asked her if she wanted me to stay, and she looked at me like I was crazy for asking. Zahra was with Leah’s mom, and I sent a silent “thank you” up to God that I didn’t have to contact Leah to arrange anything.
Simone pulled me into the shower with her, where we cleaned ourselves, nothing else. Afterwards, I gave her what I thought was probably a much needed rub-down with one of her scented oils. The massage put her to sleep, and I turned out the lights and slid into the bed, pulling the covers over us. I was grateful Simone seemed to be deep into a peaceful sleep, but I couldn’t say the same for myself. Rest eluded me until the very early hours of the next morning, when I finally passed out.
I woke up to Simone’s mouth on my ear,
her hands gently stroking my erection to life. I cringed.
Fucking déjà vu.
Simone’s hands stilled, and she lifted her head, searching out my gaze in the dusky light filtering through the curtains. “Is something wrong?”
I licked my dry lips, shaking my head. “Not at all, Beautiful. You just startled me.”
“Sorry. Is this okay?”
“Yeah,” I nodded, even though my heart felt like it was about to beat out of my chest. I rolled over onto my back as she straddled me, then watched her sheath me in a condom. Simone slid herself onto me with a soft moan, then lowered her chest to mine. Leah was the furthest thing from my mind as we made love, but once we were done, freshly showered, and back in bed, with Simone cuddled against my side, the guilt came flooding back.
I knew from watching the experience of other men that the least desirable way for your girl to find out some shit about you and another woman was from somebody who wasn’t you. Whether or not to tell her wasn’t even a debate in my mind. The question was when.
— & —
So maybe I was wrong. As I watched Simone from the front counter of Urban Grind, talking and laughing at a corner table with Vivienne and Eddie, I was starting to think maybe I shouldn’t tell her about that stuff with Leah. Two weeks had passed since the funeral, and she was so close to being back to her bubbly self that I didn’t want to mess it up.
So maybe I shouldn’t.
I smiled, thinking back to a few nights ago, when Simone had shown up at Urban Grind unexpectedly. Beyonce’s XO — I knew because she put it on enough that I’d even memorized the words — was playing, and Simone was very obviously having a blast. From my position at the front counter, I could see her, dancing and singing along as she searched for me through the crowd, just like the lyrics to the song. I waved to get her attention, and when she spotted me, she burst into a grin that made my entire day.
That kept ringing in my mind as she left, planting a kiss on my cheek and whispering a really filthy promise in my ear. Later, as I walked her home, she chattered about new clients, new recipes she wanted to try, and revealed that Logan had asked her if she wanted to spend some time with Asia. Simone was excited about the prospect of keeping her goddaughter for the a whole week, and the sheer happiness radiating from her sealed the deal. I was not gonna bring that shit up.
The only people who knew about it were Leah and me . Wait, scratch that. I talked to Davis about it, which was a major fail. His advice, after a short “motherfucker, I told you that shit wasn’t a good idea” type lecture had been to kick Leah out, immediately. He had been adamantly against me moving her in in the first place, warning that it would turn into something I couldn’t get out of. I really should have listened.
Now, I was having to hide a drunken mistake from the woman I loved. I tried to tell myself it was to preserve her emotional state, but truthfully, I was scared as hell that if she found out, there would be no more Roman and Simone. That thought made me sick to my stomach.
So instead of being transparent with her, I dropped her off at her door, went home to help my baby girl with her homework, do dinner and bath time, and put her to bed, all while ignoring Leah as much as I could without being disrespectful to her — especially in front of our child.
To her credit, Leah at least seemed genuinely contrite. There hadn’t been a single non-Zahra related phone call or text period not just while I was with Simone. And most importantly, she’d signed a lease on a new apartment she was planning to move into with Justin at the end of the month.
Things were finally leveling out. I was coming up on month eight in my relationship with Simone. The last thing I was about to do was drop a bomb on it.
When I went back to Simone’s that night, she opened the door in a tiny, silky purple robe that clung to her wet skin. That, along with the steam and sweet scent of lavender and vanilla in the air told me she’d gotten out of the shower to answer the door.
“Hey babe,” I greeted her, half-distracted by a drop of water as it trickled into the valley between her breasts. Simone smirked, sauntering back to her bedroom with me close behind. I lifted an eyebrow as she undid her belt, letting the robe drop open as she sat on the end of the bed to apply her lotion.
I toed off my shoes, leaving my phone and keys on her dresser as I stripped down to nothing. “Right back,” I said, heading for the shower. I washed quickly, anticipating fun when I got out, but when I stepped back into the bedroom, Simone was in a tee shirt and shorts, pacing the room in her bare feet.
She looked up when she heard me enter, and I was confused by the look of distaste she shot me before she spoke. “You said you were gonna fix things with Leah, right?”
Pulling my fresh boxers over my legs, I frowned. “Yeah…”
“So what did you do? How did you fix it?” she crossed her arms, fixing me with a stare that felt like she was shooting hot daggers into my face.
“Um… I just told her she had a month. She was cool with it.”
“That’s all you did?”
I lifted an eyebrow. “Yeah… that’s all.”
“Really, Roman? Because it sounds to me like you thought screwing her was the solution!”
What the hell—
I flinched as Simone reeled back and launched my phone at me, hitting me squarely in the chest. “Simone, what are you talking about? I did not —”
“Bullshit!” Simone screamed, ignoring a sudden stream of tears as they ran unchecked down her face. “I trusted you, Roman, and this is what you do? I’m crying my eyes out over my friend, while you’re having…. big fun… with your little fat-bootied ex. I… don’t even understand this shit.”
“What are you talking about Simone?”
How the hell did she find out about this?
“She texted you, genius.” She spat out those words like they were coated in sewage. “I only looked at your phone to see if I needed to get you out of the shower, but I see her asking you if you’re gonna tell “her” what happened. Telling you you shouldn’t worry about it, because you were both drunk, and it wouldn’t happen again. Saying she never meant to end up in your bed. Your bed, Roman? That’s what I’m talking about.”
I shook my head, trying to approach her to calm her down. “It’s not what you’re thinking, I swear, Beautif—”
“Don’t you dare. Unless she’s just completely delusional — which I honestly might freaking believe — something happened between you and her on Zahra’s birthday, and I’m just now hearing about it. You think that’s okay?”
“No, I just didn’t—”
“Know when to say it, right? Just like you “didn’t know” when to tell me this bitch lived with you. I’m so stupid. A fucking moron. You’ve probably been sleeping with her this entire time.”
“Really, Simone? That’s what you think?”
She threw her hands up in the air. “I don’t know what to think, Roman. What should I think?”
“You should think— no, you should know— that I love you, and I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. I wouldn’t betray you. Do you not trust me?”
Simone shook her head, pointing her eyes toward the ceiling as if she were searching for answers before turning back to me. “Right now… I don’t know.”
“Will you let me explain?”
She shrugged, crossing her arms again, but didn’t interrupt as I told her everything that happened that night. When I reached the part about waking up to a drunken Leah in my bed, she gave a dry laugh, muttering “That slut probably wasn’t even really drunk.” under her breath.
“Well, she did a good job faking, because she puked her gu—… ” I let my response trail off. The look on her face was a very clear indication she wasn’t interested in my defense of Leah. “But, yeah, that was it. Nobody screwed anybody. I reminded her she had a month to be out, and then I left to go be with you.”
“So even after that, you thought it was a good idea for her to live there another month?”
/> I shook my head. “I didn’t think it was a good idea, I was just trying to be fair.”
She stared at me for a second, lips parted before she broke into laughter. “Are you really this dense? Screw fair Roman. She had her hands on your dick! Leah tossed propriety out the window the minute she took her ass in your room. Who gives a shit about being fair?” Simone raked a hand through her hair, pushing it back from her face. “And… we’re making this all about Leah, but you created this situation. I told you she was looking for more than a renewed friendship with you, Roman, and you brushed me off. Now that something has happened…. what, I’m supposed to just pretend it didn’t?”
“You can say “I told you so”, Simone. Because you did.”
“Oh, well thank you so much for your permission.” She rolled her eyes. “This is textbook “take somebody’s man” and you fell right into it. Oh, your girlfriend’s out of town? Let’s get drunk, and oh, oh no, how did this happen, we accidentally ended up fucking!”
I wanted to point out that neither of us knew Simone was out of town then that shit happened, but… I wasn’t trying to push my luck by being technical. “I don’t know what to say, Simone. I didn’t see the harm in having a drink, watching TV. I mean, it’s the same thing I would have done if it was Davis there instead Leah. But, obviously the outcome would have been different.”
“Ya think? Anyway… I don’t want to say I told you so. I want to not worry about what she’s gonna pull next. I want… I want to be able to kick your ass out of my apartment right now, but guess what? I would be sending you home to her, which is probably exactly what that… ” Simone ran her tongue over her teeth and she shrugged, disgusted.
I groaned, knowing my next words were very unlikely to improve the mood in the room. “Actually… I’ve gotta go anyway. The schedule…”
Simone’s expression was stony, hands perched on her hips until finally, she sucked her teeth and turned away. “Bye Roman.”
“Beautiful—”
A Crazy Little Thing Called Love (Serendipitous Love Book 1) Page 15