by Jo Watson
Ben suddenly swooped forward, looking more serious than I had ever, ever seen him. “None!” He was emphatic and it stopped my heart.
“Sorry?”
“I never say things I don’t mean.”
I looked at him, trying desperately to size him up. He sounded and looked completely serious—But how could he be? I had absolutely no idea what to make of him—at all.
10. Mr. I’m Too Sexy For My Shirt …
Two pairs of wide eyes looked up at me over coffee cups.
“Okay,” one of the blinking eyes said. “Let’s rewind a little more. Yesterday at the office, when you walked out, he said he was in love with you, too.”
“He’s not being serious, guys!” I said. “This is obviously some line that he thinks works on women.”
Bruce nodded. “And rewinding some more to the night that you met—”
JJ smacked his hand down on the table. “Stop rewinding; I’m still on the part where you walk in and he’s half-naked up a ladder. Can we go back to that part, please?”
I rolled my eyes. “JJ, you’re such a cliché.”
“I don’t care … so he was up a ladder. With a hammer and a drill …?”
I nodded at JJ—I’d already been over this in great detail.
“Was he holding the drill? Or did he have a big tool belt strapped to his sweaty body?”
Bruce and I burst out laughing.
“I’m just trying to get an accurate picture, if you don’t mind.”
Bruce slapped his partner of twenty years on the arm. “In your dreams he had a tool belt!” he said.
“Well, a guy can dream then.”
“Can we get back to the important facts here?” I said while topping up my coffee—this was our morning ritual—“A pervy sex God, who also happens to be my boss and former one-night-stand, happens to be living next-door to me. How the hell did that even happen by the way? And not only that, but he’s really strange and weird and playing some kind of mind trick on me by asking me out and telling me he loves me and I don’t like it.”
“And he does home renovations in his underwear,” JJ added, “an important fact to consider when weighing up such things.”
“What things?” I asked.
“Well, going out with him, silly.”
“No.” I shook my head. “I’m not going out with him. Besides, I don’t date anymore, remember?” A while ago I’d decided that relationships required far too much work and I just didn’t have the time for them, so had officially given up on them. And I certainly wasn’t going to pursue a relationship with my boss that was just a bad idea.
“But he’s in love with you,” JJ repeated and I rolled my eyes at him.
“Please, he’s clearly not being serious. It’s all part of his clever Mr.-I’m-too-sexy-for-my-shirt act. He probably tells all the women that he loves them and then asks them all out.”
A knock on the door interrupted us and we all turned. You could almost hear the horror movie sound track swelling, as the tension built up and our eyes widened.
“It couldn’t be?” JJ whispered.
I shook my head. Please don’t let it be, please don’t—
“Hello? Sera?” His voice confirmed my worst nightmare.
Before I could stop him, JJ was already halfway across the room.
“I’m not here. I’m not here!” I hissed.
“It’s six in the morning. Where else would you be?” Bruce asked getting up.
“Jogging,” I said, moving to hide behind a pillar on the balcony.
“You don’t jog.”
“I do now,” I whispered. Bruce rolled his eyes and walked away
“Oh. Hello, neighbor,” JJ said, answering the door in all his glory. I could picture it quite clearly. JJ was probably fawning and drooling, and Bruce was probably not far behind.
“Hi, I’m Ben. I just moved in last night.”
“Oh we know exactly who you are, sweetie,” JJ said—I almost died.
I heard Ben chuckle slightly. “Yeah. I guess you do by now.”
“So what brings you to our neck of the woods?”
“I came to apologize, I hope I didn’t wake you up with the noise?”
“Nooo, nooooo, not at allll!” the chorus of JJ and Bruce rang out.
“Good. I would hate to make a bad impression on my first night here.”
“Oh, too late for that. You’ve already made a very bad impression,” I heard JJ say in a very loaded tone and I physically cringed.
“Is Sera here?” I heard him ask.
“Um …” JJ faltered, he was terrible at lying. “She’s gone jogging.”
“Really.” Ben sounded unconvinced.
Bruce jumped in, “Oh she’s a HUGE jogger. Loves it”—oh God, he was hamming it up now. “Very fit and athletic, our little Sera is. Such a jogger.”
I heard a tiny chuckle from Ben, as if the perv was now thinking about my athleticism.
“What time does she leave? To jog?”
“Around five? Hey, JJ?”
“Mmm hmm,” JJ helped. “Usually five-ish.”
“Good to know. Well, nice meeting you guys.” He must have started walking away because I heard the door start closing before JJ really pushed it too far.
“So what did you want with our Sera this morning?” he asked.
“I came to see if she wanted to drive to work together.”
I heard the door close and within two seconds they were both next to me again.
“Oh God, he’s gorgeous!” JJ exclaimed.
“That suit,” Bruce added. “He looks like he’s from the fifties or something—”
“Except for those tattoos,” JJ corrected.
“And haircut,” Bruce added again.
“WOW!” JJ and Bruce said together.
JJ sat down and fanned himself dramatically. “And he wanted to drive you to work.”
“I have no idea why?” I was genuinely puzzled.
“It’s because you’re a hottie,” Bruce said putting his arm around me. “And we are going to live vicariously through you.”
“I’m so not his type, though,” I said—and I meant it. His interest in me, even if it was all some kind of joke, was rather disconcerting. “I’m not some cool creative advertising chick. I’m just, normal.”
“I don’t know,” JJ said. “He looked genuinely disappointed when we said you weren’t here.”
I shot JJ an incredulous look before I left to get ready for another awkward day at work.
11. Run-Of-The-Mill Man-Whore …
It took four tries that morning to start my car, and I had a sinking feeling that she was going to pack it in and call it a day pretty soon. The petrol tank was also dangerously low. And just to add a little extra worry to the morning—on top of the whole strange Ben thing—I got an SMS from my sister:
Katie: Dad broke into the house this morning and found the money you sent me!
That terrible plunging feeling formed in the pit of my stomach. It always formed at any mention of my father. In all my twenty-four years, the most shocking thing that had ever happened to me, the day my world fell apart, was the morning the bank and the police showed up at our house.
Apparently, we were being evicted.
My dad was out, as usual. We all knew where he was—that wasn’t a secret. My mom looked shell-shocked, as usual. It was an expression she’d worn on her face for as long as I can remember. I was fifteen at the time and my younger sister was only eight. I remember how terrified she was.
The bank was repossessing our house and my father had been aware of it for over six months. He hadn’t bothered to mention to his family that he’d gambled the entire house away and spent the rest on prostitutes—we all knew he slept with them after a “big win.”
They hauled us all out onto the pavement in front of all the neighbors while locks were changed and furniture was moved out. By the time they were all done, we were left with only our clothes, a few personal possessions, an
d an old rusty caravan that smelled of cheap perfume.
A ball of anxiety formed as I responded to my sister:
Sera: Bastard. Did you call the cops on him?
Katie: I tried. Mom stopped me.
Another ball of anxiety formed. My mother was a huge part of the problem, still supporting my dad even though he was constantly unfaithful and had ruined all of our lives. Worse, I knew the implications of his latest theft. I sighed again.
Sera: When do you need to buy your textbooks?
My mother didn’t work, she suffered from paralyzing anxiety, depression and a pain pill addiction. Her small disability cheque barely covered food and basics around the house. So I was singlehandedly putting my sister through school and supporting her. Katie was smart, and I was not going to let our father ruin her life. I wanted more than anything to give her a fair shot. She had such potential. She wanted to be a surgeon, and had the marks for it too. Med school was expensive though. But I was determined to see her do it. I had already started putting some money aside for it, not a lot though. But whenever I had a few spare cents, I quickly deposited them into my savings account for her.
Katie: End of the week. I’m so sorry. I feel so bad that you have to send me money again.
Sera: DON’T. We’ve spoken about this. You’re my little sis. I’ll pick up some extra shifts at the restaurant. It’s going to be okay. Love you.
Katie: XXX. You’re the best.
If I’d been harboring any doubts—however small—about whether I could go on a date with Ben, this had just reinforced the fact that I had absolutely no space for anything like that in my life. My sister was my top priority, and, therefore, so was my job. My last boyfriend hadn’t understood that or been able to cope with my family’s constant drama. Driving out in the middle of the night to console my sobbing, suicidal mother and pick her up off the floor when she’d “finally” kicked him out—again. The constant drama and embarrassment that came with having a father who was in and out of jail all the time for petty theft and fraud. Drunken scenes when he came out of prison, breaking and entering when he wanted money, begging and pleading when he needed a place to sleep … it was endless.
My ex had accused me of putting everyone else first, including my job—well, of course I did! I had to.
JJ and Bruce were probably the only two people in the world that knew how bad things really were. They knew the full, nasty unedited truth about my life and I wanted to keep it that way. If it hadn’t been for their help, my mom and sister would probably still be living in that trailer, borrowing cups of sugar from the Meth cooks next door. But thanks to my rent-free living arrangement, and the flexibility of taking on shifts at their restaurant whenever I wanted, I’d managed to move my mom and sister into a small garden cottage. But the landlords were getting pissed off. Thanks to my father’s constant, loud crap, they’d been threatening to kick them out. He wasn’t actually living there at the moment, but between his late night arrivals, the drunken screaming he did when he was there and this latest breaking and entering, things weren’t looking too good. When it rains, it pours.
I arrived at work after a thought-filled car ride and was shocked to find Ben already in the office. Usually, no one arrived before me, and I liked it that way. It gave me a chance to get on top of things before the usual chaos of the day descended in all its hellish glory. I also wouldn’t have minded a moment to pull myself together before I had to engage with people. The SMS from my sister had thrown me.
He noticed me the second I walked in and smiled. I reciprocated with something that could barely be called a smile and sat at my desk. I lowered my head, opened my laptop, grabbed some files, and slapped them down loudly. I was hoping to convey a sense of very important do-not-dare-disturb busyness. Obviously it didn’t work. Within seconds he was sitting at the desk next to me—and smiling. DANGER!
“How was your jog this morning?”
“My what—” I almost forgot my lie. “Oh. My jog. Yeah! Great. Great. Mmmmm, really great. Twenty miles clears the mind, you know” What the hell am I saying? Do joggers really do twenty miles?
“Twenty miles. Impressive. You must be a serious pro.”
“Mmmmm.” I nodded and picked up another do-not-dare-disturb prop which I used to staple some random papers together before slapping them down on my desk.
He sat and watched me as I opened my emails and answered a few, while I filed a few papers away—along with some more unnecessary stapling—and busied myself with my morning ritual, all the while trying to work out mathematically how much money I would need to make at the restaurant to buy my sister those books. But his stare was making me very uncomfortable and I wanted to turn and scream, “What?!” But he was the boss.
“Is something wrong?” he finally asked.
“What? … No … Nothing. I’m fine. Just tired.”
“Is it an issue with your dads?” he asked.
“They’re not really, officially, my dads, and nothing is wrong. I’m fine.”
I looked up at him, feeling annoyed that he was trying to pull a Freud on me. Actually, I was irritated that he’d even picked up on it. Clearly he was perceptive—most men weren’t. He leaned over the desk and looked at me, a mixture of sex and charm and concern all rolled into a very expensive-looking dark grey vintage suit. I didn’t like this. Especially when he reached out and tried to take my hand in a commiserative fashion, as if he knew me and understood what I was going through. And then, that look again—as if he did know me. I pulled away quickly and cleared my throat.
I didn’t want to do anything that would raise alarm bells and have him questioning me all day, and I certainly didn’t want him to think I was the kind of employee that let her personal life interfere with work.
“It’s something personal,” I explained. “Nothing I can’t deal with and nothing that will distract me from my job, I assure you.”
He eyed me curiously. “That’s not why I was asking you, Sera.” Our eyes met, and once again something strange and intense and physically palpable passed between us. Thankfully, Becks arrived at that exact moment.
She and I usually had a chatty cup of coffee before starting work, but all her usual happy chattiness was gone the second she saw Ben. She transformed into a swoony someone I didn’t recognize.
“Good morning, Ben,” she said in a breathy whisper accompanied by a playful hair flick. She looked at him, perhaps a little too long before finally turning to me, “Sera.” I tried not to roll my eyes. Just another woman that had fallen victim to Ben’s Voodoo charms.
“Morning, Rebecca.”
“Becks,” she corrected with a coy, girly smile that made me want to slap her into adulthood. I looked up at Ben and studied his interaction with her. He gave her a smile. Deadly. Iceberg melting. What a flirtatious shit.
“Good morning, Becks.” His voice sounded super-friendly and enthused. Too enthused—what a bastard. I was right about him. He was like this with all the girls. He was just your average, run-of-the-mill man-whore.
I couldn’t help it, but I actually felt a bolt of ugly jealously rush through me. Becks sat down and I took the opportunity to look across at Ben again. He was staring at me and then flashed me a smile—a secondhand smile? I glared at him in utter disapproval before looking away and unnecessarily flicking a pen to the other side of my desk—not the most mature move, I’ll admit.
He looked at me as if he was slightly confused and then got up and walked away.
I looked after him feeling …
… feeling what?
12. I Removed All The Blue Ones …
Despite the shaky start, the day wasn’t as awkward as I’d expected. Perhaps it was because I hardly had any space in my brain for Ben. Since my sister’s SMS, my father was all I could think about. Fume about. I was furious with him, and even more furious that he still had this effect on me, even though I was a grown woman.
He’d singlehandedly ruined our family and nothing good had ever come
of him. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. He was the reason that I’d met JJ and Bruce.
After the bank incident, I’d been forced to get a job. We’d been eating bread and jam for a month, so I was so proud and relieved when I got that first paycheck. I’d worked my butt off for that money, but, as it turned out, it was just to have him steal it after swearing blind he wouldn’t gamble again.
But I knew exactly where I would find him, Caesars Palace. So that night I hitched a ride there, determined to get some of the money back before he gambled the whole lot away. When I got there, I could see my father only a few meters away from me, shoving money into a slot machine. I tried to get to him, but the security guard at the gate wouldn’t let me in no matter how much I begged and pleaded. I was underage.
So I just stood there and watched my father flush all that money away. I finally broke down and started crying.
And it was at that exact moment that JJ and Bruce walked past. The Rocky Horror Picture Show was on at the casino and these two had taken the tradition of dressing up to a whole new level. Suddenly, I had two crazy-looking creatures in fishnet stockings and heels standing next to me.
JJ, always nosey as hell, asked what was going on. When I explained the whole sordid tale with tears streaming down my cheeks, JJ jumped into action. He stormed past the security gate and leapt on my father while Bruce cheered him on. It was one of the most shockingly funny things I’d ever seen. My dad made a run for it, zigzagging through the bright flashing rows of slot machines, but JJ was stealthy in those six-inch heels and was in hot pursuit. He finally caught up to my dad, just as the security guards caught up with him, and we were all escorted out of the casino—my dad kicking and screaming and punching, which got him banned permanently—I was ever so grateful for this.
They gave me a ride home that night, and were appalled to see where I was living. So they decided right there and then to make me their problem. They offered me a job at their restaurant and without asking, paid me upfront for the month. I hate accepting charity, and even now when they offer money, I don’t accept it, but when my little sister ran out to the car crying, I knew that accepting help was the only way we could make it.