Love to Hate You

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Love to Hate You Page 12

by Jo Watson


  There was a strange manic energy in the office when I arrived at work on Monday morning. I walked past the boardroom on my way to my desk to discover it was overflowing with yawning, defeated, tired-looking people. Ben was standing in front of everyone talking loudly and passionately. He was waving his arms in the air and still wearing the same clothes from yesterday. He looked like he’d been up all night.

  “He’s been making teams present ideas to him all night and hates every single one of them,” Becks said coming up behind me. “No one has slept.” She yawned in my ear.

  “Really.” I glanced over at Ben and it was the first time I’d seen him looking anything but cool and calm. Dare I say it, but he looked rattled. As I studied him through the glass he caught my eye and gestured for me to come over. A ball of nervous energy bubbled up inside me and I walked over to the boardroom apprehensively. As soon as I was there he popped his head out the door.

  “Hey.” He looked tired but managed a small smile.

  “Hi.”

  “I have no right to ask you this and if you don’t want to do it I’ll completely…”

  “What?” I asked.

  He dug in his pocket, pulled out a key and passed it over to me sneakily. “Please could you go to my place and get me some fresh clothes, I have to go to the client this afternoon and I have coffee on this shirt and quite frankly, I think I stink.” He whispered.

  I took the key between my fingers. “Sure.”

  “And a toothbrush and toothpaste.”

  I nodded.

  “And deodorant. Some cologne, anything to help me look and feel a bit better.” He smiled again and in that moment I think I would have probably done anything he asked me to. The thought worried me. A lot.

  I turned to leave but he quickly whispered, “And don’t go stealing my underwear.” He winked and disappeared back into the boardroom.

  I arrived at Ben’s apartment about half an hour later and it felt odd letting myself in. It was so relationship-y. I went straight to his bedroom and was surprised to find it looking neat and spotless. For some reason I had it in my head that men, particularly bachelors, were messy beer-can crushing, TV remote hogging slouches that left their smelly socks on the floor. But Ben was none of these things.

  I walked over to his cupboard, opened it and gasped. There, row upon row upon row, were suits. The inside of his cupboard looked like one of those suit hire places where grooms go to get themselves kitted out for their weddings. I’d never seen so many suits in one place before, and I’d also never chosen one for anyone either. What was I meant to look for? Color? Cut? Shape …?

  Instead of that, I tried to imagine him in each one, until I came to a very smart black pinstripe one. I ran my hand over the fabric and imagined his body inside it—oh God I was turning into a total perv. I took the suit out, grabbed a black shirt and black tie (I liked him in black), and then paused when I saw his underwear. Was I meant to bring him underwear too?

  I reached out and picked one up. Yup, I remembered these guys. I remember these ones well! I grabbed some socks and looked around. Next to his bed were two bedside tables and my curiosity started getting the better of me. Suddenly I wanted to throw myself at the drawers, rummage through them and uncover all of Ben’s secrets. I bet Ben had many.

  I paused. I really shouldn’t, right? But I did. I pulled one of the drawers open and looked inside. Nothing. Totally empty. I sighed and closed it feeling disappointed. Ben was still such a mysterious creature to me and a small clue would have gone a long way in helping me unravel that mystery.

  I went into his bathroom and smiled. It looked like a women’s bathroom. Facial products, colognes and even a blackhead-removing mask sat on a shelf. No wonder he was so fucking good-looking. I grabbed his toothbrush, toothpaste and a roll-on deodorant.

  I looked down at the six bottles of cologne and was stumped, so I picked each one up and smelt it until I recognized that familiar scent. The one that had mingled with sex and vodka and sweaty leather that night.

  I was just about to put all his things into a bag that I’d pulled out of the bottom of his closet when I saw it … unopened gold condom wrapper. Suddenly, the idea that Ben kept emergency condoms in the bottom of a travel bag made me feel a little queasy. What, in case he bumped into a hot airhostess on a plane that he needed to haul into the bathroom and earn his membership to the mile high club? In case he needed to quickly explore some additional creative options with the client while away on a shoot, or in case he bumped into a girl at a nightclub and needed to throw her over the back seat of his car … I cringed just thinking about it.

  I didn’t want anyone to see me return with his clothes, so I carefully slipped the bag into his office when no one was looking. Everyone was still in the boardroom and I made my way back to my desk.

  “Sera.” I looked up and Ben gestured for me once more. Gold wrapper, gold wrapper, gold wrapper. God, I needed to stop thinking about that. I walked over to the boardroom and he opened the door. “Have a seat.” He pointed into the room.

  “Um … me? But I’m not a …”

  “Everyone is here. We’re all having this conversation together.”

  I looked around and, yes, everyone was there, not just the creatives. Almost everyone in the company, including the tea lady, was seated around the massive boardroom table. I walked over and sat down.

  “I’ve called you all in here to discuss some changes that I’ll be making around the office. I know I’ve only been here a short time but I can already see that this place is very stuck in it’s ways. Comfortable ways.”

  I raised my eyes and looked around the room.

  “I’m going to be pushing you all very hard from now on. We all need to step up our game and start thinking outside the box if we’re ever going to make truly exceptional work. Or, we can stay still and make perfectly mediocre work?”

  There were some confused nods, which made me think they already thought they were producing exceptional work.

  “So with that, is there anyone who thinks they have an idea for this calendar. And I don’t want another boring idea that involves glitzy Monte Carlo-like backdrops and clichéd glamorous women standing next to the car looking pleased with themselves and holding expensive handbags. We can do better than that. We can do something far more interesting. Anyone?”

  He looked around the room. “Now I have an idea, but I still think we can do better, so if there’s anyone in this room who wants to throw something out, free of judgment, then go for it.”

  I glanced around; people were looking at each other with blank expressions and then looking back at Ben. Suddenly things in the room got very uncomfortable. And just then, at the worst imaginable time ever, my phone beeped loudly.

  “Sorry.” I rummaged in my jacket pocket, pulled my phone out and saw JJ’s message plastered across the screen.

  JJ: I need you to tell me what you think of this since you didn’t stay to watch the whole thing.

  I tried to close the message, but in my panic must have pressed play on the video I just realized he’d sent me.

  JJ’s voice rang out, singing the Gloria Gaynor tune once more.

  “Sorry, sorry.” I scrambled to turn it off and in my haste, dropped it to the floor and under the table.

  “Shit!” I dropped to my hands and knees and crawled under the table. The bastard device had cruelly made its way to the other side of the table. God this was embarrassing, but it got just worse.

  “Liar,” I heard JJ shout from the phone, “you’re going home to have wild sex with your hot neighbor.”

  “That’s right,” my voice rang out in response and my stomach plummeted. I knew what was coming next, and there was no way I was going to make it to the phone in time to switch it off. “And I’m ovulating too so I can fall pregnant with his illegitimate baby.”

  Oh. My. God.

  27. The End Of Days …

  I gasped and started to crawl as quickly as I could. I bumped a few knees
and crushed some feet as I went but finally managed to grab the phone and switch it off.

  I could already hear the murmurs and chuckles coming from the desk above me. No doubt Ben had heard that too. What the hell did he think of me now? Maybe it was actually a blessing in bad, terrible, bad disguise. He’d probably never ask me out again or come within a ten-mile radius of me for fear that I was one of those psycho woman who entrapped men with babies.

  Well, nothing to do but face the music. So I crawled across the floor once more and climbed into my seat. I could feel all the eyes on me. I could see all the not-so-subtle smirks being flung in my direction and the one death stare being bored into me by the hectically religious chick from reception who walked around telling people, with great pride, that she didn’t believe in sex before marriage and that the end of days was near while handing out pamphlets to her charismatic church.

  I felt sick. My stomach churned and then knotted. What was Ben thinking? I wanted to look up at him to see the reaction on his face, but just couldn’t will my eyes to look away from the tiny crack in the desk they were now fixated on. A silence descended on the room and I wanted to die of embarrassment.

  Then I heard Ben’s voice. “Does anyone know where that song is from?” he asked. What the hell was he doing?

  No one replied, even though the answer was so obvious to me. But I wasn’t going to say a word.

  “Sera, would you mind playing that again.”

  “What?” My eyes flicked up and met his. I could see he was trying to hide the smile on his face.

  “Don’t worry … just that first bit.” A roar of laugher rose up from the room and I couldn’t work out what was going on. Was he deliberately trying to embarrass me? But with everyone in the office looking at me, I couldn’t exactly disobey the boss.

  I fumbled with my phone nervously and pressed play. The first few lines of the song blared out again. I quickly pressed pause when the inappropriate conversation about my ovaries that one should only have behind the closed doors of your gynae’s rooms, was about to start. I folded my arms and focused all my attention back on that crack and waited.

  “Anyone know what that was?” He asked the room again. Silence! “Well, that was an idea! Has no one seen Priscilla, Queen of the Desert?” No one moved. “It won awards, it’s a famous Broadway show, people! It was made into a movie.”

  There were a few murmurs now, but no one was actually talking.

  “Sera, please can you tell the room about the movie; I take it you’ve seen it.”

  “Huh?” My head snapped up again and I looked at Ben.

  He sat down. “The room is yours, Sera, please.” He gestured at me and my face went bright red. I could feel my cheeks burning.

  “Um … Okay.” I stood up nervously. “It’s about these drag queens who trek through the middle of the Australian outback to do a show in a small town called Alice Springs. They buy this massive bus and—”

  Ben jumped up now and cut me off, which I was ever so grateful for. “And this is what it looks like.” He pressed a button on the computer he’d been fiddling with and the photo of the iconic scene popped onto the screen; the big shiny silver bus, cutting through the barren red desert. One of the drag queens was sitting on top of a giant silver shoe strapped to the top of the bus and a massive piece of silver material billowed out behind them. The room went silent for a moment and I could hear the cogs turning.

  “Why is this shot so great?” he asked the room.

  No one answered and I don’t know what came over me, maybe it was because I had watched the movie so many times, maybe it was because I lived with the walking embodiment of one of the characters from the show, maybe it was because I’d seen the desert decorations being pulled out yesterday, who knows, but I spoke. “Because of the juxtaposition. It’s surprising to see those two things together. The harsh, barren desert vs the big shiny bus and billowing material.”

  “Exactly. This is an image that sticks in your mind because it catches you off guard. And that’s what we need,” he said. “Now imagine seeing luxury sports cars there instead. Multi million Rand sports cars driving through the desert. The harsh, hot climate. Barren wasteland, dead trees, lifeless. Except for the cars.”

  A look of acknowledgement started washing over the faces in the room. “It’s brilliant,” Angie suddenly piped up. “We could shoot in Namibia, they have those really great ghostly looking landscapes and that abandoned town. Very other worldly.”

  “Great idea. Maybe you can start pulling some visual references of the landscape for me in the meantime, and I’ll see you at the shoot too,” Ben said clicking his fingers at her. I tried not to roll my eyes, since I knew she was probably planning on christening a ghostly looking landscape or two with him.

  “Right, I’ll be in my office putting the client presentation together.” He started walking out the room. “And, Sera, you’ll be coming with me on the shoot later this week too.”

  He exited and suddenly the whole room was looking at me again. This time the smirks were gone, instead they were replaced with looks of shock, confusion and even some anger.

  28. So … You Want To Have A Baby With Me?

  “You know, some people have been working on this account for years and they are pretty pissed that you’re going, especially since you don’t even work on this account and you are only an intern. It’s just one less place for the rest of them.” Becks finally spoke after a few hours of tense silence.

  She glared at me and I shrugged. I felt bad, there was no good reason for me to go, especially after he’d heard what JJ and I had said and was probably wondering whether I’d managed to make a secret hole in the condom the other night. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why he asked me.” I looked up at his office and all his blinds were closed. I couldn’t take it any longer.

  “I’m going to tell him I can’t go,” I said to Becks. I walked up to his door and knocked.

  “Who is it?” the muffled voice behind the door called out.

  “It’s me, uh, Sera.” Awkward. So damn awkward! I was hoping he wouldn’t bring up the whole baby thing and we could pretend it had never happened.

  A few seconds later the door opened. I stepped inside and he closed and locked it behind me. “I don’t want anyone to disturb me, I only had a few hours to pull this whole thing together.”

  “And have you?”

  He smiled and nodded at me. “Thanks to you.”

  “I didn’t do anything.”

  “Yes you did. You cracked the big idea.”

  “That was an accident. I really don’t deserve to go on this shoot, I mean Becks has been working on this and—”

  Ben walked over to the bags I’d brought him. “The deal is that whoever cracks it, goes. And that was you. You saw the thing that no one else could today. In fact, I’m pretty impressed.”

  I looked down at Ben as he pulled the gold wrapper out the bag and looked at it. “Trying to hint at something?” he chuckled.

  “No! It was already in there when I packed the bag.”

  He shot me a mischievous look, before standing straight up again and unbuttoning his shirt.

  “What are you doing?”

  “I have to change, I’m going to the client now.”

  “Yes, but, not here. Not in front …” I couldn’t speak. He’d unbuttoned his shirt and I could see his chest. His perfect, hard, ripped, oh-so-very ripped, tattooed chest. My knees weakened.

  “You … you … can’t do this here,” I stammered.

  “Why, no one can see in.”

  “I can,” I said.

  He stopped and grinned at me. “It’s not like you haven’t seen it before.”

  “But we’re at work.”

  He ignored me and continued. “Good choice of shirt, by the way.” He smiled at me momentarily, but I was quickly forced to turn away when he started unbuttoning his belt and pulling his pants down.

  “I can’t go away anyway.” I tried to sound indignant. “
I’m working at the restaurant every night for a while.”

  “It’s just three days, I’m sure they can do without you.”

  “Ja, maybe they can. But I can’t do without the money.” My candor surprised me.

  I heard some footsteps and then I could sense his closeness. “Can’t you pick up some extra shifts when we get back?” he asked.

  Truth was, I needed the money right now. It was month end and I needed to pay school fees for my sister, give her some grocery money, pay the electrical bill, water and rent. So no, I needed that money now.

  “No.” I turned around and came face-to-face with him.

  “Well, the clients usually give us a very generous per diem for these kinds of shoots, so if you shared breakfast, lunch and dinner with me and let me buy you drinks every day, you could save all that money and I bet it would be more than you could make at the restaurant.”

  “Really?” I asked and immediately wanted to kick myself. Why was I even considering this? “I’ll only go if you take Becks too and some other creatives that have worked on this account for years.”

  He started putting his jacket on now. “I was planning on taking more people anyway. The client loves it when we have a million people on these shoots. Makes him feel big and important. Sometimes this job is all about stroking egos.” With his jacket now on the look was complete and he looked hot, so damn hot. He straightened his cuffs and then grabbed the tie. I wanted to look away, but couldn’t. Instead I watched his fingers moving expertly as he did up his tie and tried not to imagine his fingers all over my body again.

  “O-o-okay then. I’ll think about it,” I said and turned as quickly as I could. I unlocked the door and was just about to step out when his words froze me to the spot.

  “So … you want to have a baby with me?”

  My heart thumped in my chest and my stomach dropped. I locked the door again quickly and turned around. “I swear, that was a total joke. It was just JJ being idiotic and telling me what a cliché I was because I’d had sex with my boss and we were joking about it and I said it would be more clichéd if you were a prince and I fell pregnant with your secret illegitimate baby and we fell in love and got married and I became a princess of some imaginary country and all that crap from the romance novels he loves to read.”

 

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