“Please, Jake,” Kelan said, keeping his eyes downcast. “Don’t be afraid of me. I won’t hurt you, I promise. I…”
“You’re a God damn wolf!” Jake spat.
Kelan’s head jerked up and he stared at his mate in shock. He still hadn’t managed to shift his eyes back, but that seemed like a moot point now. A wolf? How the hell did Jake know that?
Chapter Two
Kelan stared at Jake in confusion. “You know about wolves?”
“More than I want to know. Now get your shit together and get the hell out of my apartment!”
“Jake, you don’t understand. I can’t leave—you’re my…”
“I don’t want to hear another word,” Jake interrupted. “You should have told me. I never would have let things go this far. I swore I would never get involved with another wolf, and I won’t. Now leave, please.”
Kelan bristled at Jake’s words. He felt a low, rumbling growl rip from his throat and could do nothing to prevent it. Wolves were in general very territorial and possessive over what they considered theirs. Being an alpha, Kelan’s protective and possessive instincts were far greater than normal.
“You were involved with a wolf? Who was he?” Kelan demanded.
“That is none of your damn business—and stop growling at me. I already told you, I want you to go.”
Well, his mate certainly knew how to put him in his place. This was not how he had envisioned the evening going when he’d found Jake in the bar. Christ, it was supposed to be a happy time when a wolf found his mate, something to be celebrated, but Kelan had never felt more miserable. He couldn’t bear the thought of his mate pushing him away like this.
“Jake, please, if you’d just let me explain for a moment, baby—”
“I am not your baby and you don’t need to explain anything. I don’t want you here. Now leave before I call the cops and have you thrown out.”
Kelan nodded reluctantly. Maybe it would be better if he left Jake to cool down for a while. It was the last thing he wanted to do, but he had to think of what was best for Jake. Kelan could sense the fear and confusion in his mate, and the sadness Jake was feeling felt like a knife straight through his own heart. Kelan was only sure of one thing—if another wolf had hurt Jake in any way, he was going to make him pay.
Kelan got dressed quickly, trying not to look at his mate in the process. The emotions he sensed in him were bad enough, but when he had looked into Jake’s eyes they had seemed almost haunted. He tried to swallow the lump in his throat. Now that he had found his mate, he was loath to walk away from him while there were so many unresolved issues between them.
Kelan was determined to discover what was holding Jake back. It was clear that Jake was attracted to him physically, but something had happened in his past to make him wary of wolves, and he intended to find out what. He would just have to take things slowly with Jake. He needed to get the man to trust him.
When he’d finished dressing, Kelan walked to the bedroom door and paused, looking over his shoulder at his mate. Jake had pulled the sheet up to his neck and was staring at the wall. Kelan couldn’t believe how sad and lost he looked. It was breaking his heart into little pieces.
“Jake?” Kelan waited for his mate to look at him before continuing. “I’m leaving now but I’ll be back tomorrow and the next day and every day until you realise that I’m not going to go away. You’re my mate, God damn it, and I will fight for you.”
Kelan left the room without looking back.
“Mate?” he heard Jake whisper as he closed the door to Jake’s bedroom.
* * * *
The next day Jake tried to concentrate on his work but his mind kept drifting back to the events of the previous evening. He had only gone out looking to get laid and now he had a damn wolf thinking he was his mate. It had been a long time since he had heard that phrase and it still had the ability to twist his insides into knots.
Jake couldn’t believe his suspicions about Kelan had been confirmed. Kelan’s growling, his commanding aura, even his mannerisms and the way he moved had had alarm bells ringing in Jake’s head. Now it all made sense. Jake hadn’t thought about wolves in a long time, and he had certainly hoped never to meet one again.
His thoughts drifted back to his college boyfriend, Matt. Jake had been so in love with Matt, and he’d thought the feeling was mutual. Sure, Matt had professed to love him. He had entrusted Jake with his secret of being a wolf, and Jake had kept it for the duration of their time together. He would have done anything to protect his Matty. Their relationship had ended ten years ago, and ended badly, but not once since had Jake thought about revealing Matt’s secret.
He’d called Tony several times to apologise, but his friend refused to take his calls. Each time his secretary had said he was busy, but Jake knew it was because Tony was pissed off with him. The more he thought about it, the less surprised he felt. He had treated Tony like an asshole last night. The guy had every reason to be pissed off with him. Jake would never let someone get away with treating him like that. Not anymore.
As the day drew to an end, Jake became more and more nervous about going home. Would Kelan be there waiting for him? Last night Kelan had told him he’d be back to see him again. Although he didn’t want the complication, he shivered in anticipation. Part of him was more than excited at the thought of seeing Kelan again.
Jake had to admit he was attracted to Kelan—who wouldn’t be? Kelan was the most striking man he had ever had the pleasure of meeting, and the confident and commanding aura he gave off was as sexy as hell. His southern drawl practically had Jake panting. And the sex… Jake shivered when he remembered the mind-blowing orgasm he’d received at Kelan’s hands and mouth. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d come that hard, if ever. Though it pained him to admit it, he was desperate to see Kelan again.
* * * *
Kelan tried to pay attention to what he was putting in the cardboard boxes but every few minutes he found his mind wandering and had to unpack everything and start again. His brother Cody might only be a small man, but boy, did he have a temper on him, and he liked things just so.
“When you’ve finished with that box, can you make a start in the kitchen?” Cody asked him from across the room.
Kelan grunted and emptied the box for the third time. He had tuned out of the conversation a while ago, but he had caught his brother raising his eyebrows at his mate, Stefan, who had shrugged his shoulders in reply.
“Uh, why don’t I go and get us all coffee?” Stefan asked, crossing the room and wrapping his arms around Cody.
Cody leaned up and kissed Stefan full on the mouth. Several seconds passed before they reluctantly pulled apart.
“Thanks, babe,” Cody said, staring lovingly into Stefan’s eyes.
Stefan grabbed his jacket and, with a parting wink at Cody, he left the apartment. Cody crossed the room and sat down next to Kelan. He took the vase out of Kelan’s hands and placed it on the floor next to them.
“Okay, out with it,” Cody said. “You’ve been on another planet since you woke up today. What’s bothering you?”
“I found my mate.” Kelan shrugged.
Cody squealed and threw his arms around Kelan, crushing him in an embrace.
“Oh my God!” Cody yelled in his ear. “That’s fantastic, Kelan. Who is he? Where did you meet? Where’s he from?”
“Calm down,” Kelan said, extracting himself from his brother’s steely grip. “His name is Jake, we met in a bar last night. He’s not a wolf, he’s human, and it’s not so fantastic, Cody. He doesn’t want me.”
Cody scrunched his eyebrows together in confusion.
“Huh?”
“You heard me. He doesn’t want me.”
“But that’s impossible. You’re mates. How can he not want you?”
Kelan shrugged again, feeling more depressed than ever. Cody hadn’t had this problem when he’d met Stefan—both had been elated to find each other, just as it should be.
The same went for his youngest brother, Luke. Even though neither Luke nor his mate Mark had been gay when they met, the pull of the mating bond was so strong, they soon got over that inconsequential fact and became inseparable, almost from the beginning.
The mating bond usually transcended everything when a wolf found his other half. It was much more than simple attraction—it was a compulsion to be with that person. Something that was very hard to fight. But Kelan had to keep reminding himself that Jake was not a wolf. Clearly the bond didn’t have the same effect on humans.
“I don’t know, but he told me to leave or he’d call the cops and have me thrown out.”
Cody’s mouth fell open in shock.
“I don’t understand, did he ask you to leave when you told him you’re a wolf?”
“I didn’t have to tell him, he just knew.”
When Cody’s face became even more confused Kelan continued.
“My eyes and teeth shifted in front of him. I couldn’t control it. But he knew I was a wolf, Cody. He said he had promised himself he would never get involved with a wolf again.”
“Wow. I wonder what happened to him. Do you think this wolf hurt him?”
“If he did, he’ll regret it,” Kelan growled.
“Why don’t you ask him about it?”
“Did you not hear what I just said? He doesn’t want me. He never wants to see me again.”
“He told you that?”
Kelan thought back to the previous evening’s conversation. He remembered Jake asking him to leave a lot, but he didn’t think Jake had said he never wanted to see him again.
“No, he didn’t.”
“Well, there you go, then. Even humans feel the pull of the mating bond, Kelan. He’ll probably want to see you again just as much as you want to see him.”
“You think so?”
“I’m sure of it.”
Kelan felt emboldened by his brother’s words. He got up and grabbed his jacket.
“You mind if I come back and help you with this later?”
“Of course not. Go to your mate—you’ll never forgive yourself if you don’t try.”
“Thanks, bro.”
* * * *
Jake let himself into his apartment. He was disappointed at first that Kelan wasn’t there waiting for him when he got home. He shook his head, trying to banish the thought. He couldn’t think about Kelan any more. He’d thrown him out last night, and if the man had any sense, he wouldn’t come back for more of the same treatment.
He poured himself a drink and sat down heavily, the word still running through his mind. Mate. He knew enough about wolves to know if Kelan truly believed that, there was no way he would let Jake go that easily.
Hope began to swell in his chest. Maybe this time would be different. Maybe Kelan wouldn’t leave him like everyone else in his life did. No. He couldn’t think like that. He wouldn’t let himself. He would only end up getting hurt again, and this time he was sure it would be worse than before. He had only known Kelan for a short time, but he could see how easy it would be to fall in love with the man. He didn’t think he’d be able to live through Kelan leaving him, too.
Matt’s betrayal all those years ago had hurt like hell. It had taken Jake a long time to get over the pain of losing his first and only love. Could he open his heart to another person? Jake wasn’t so sure.
There was only one solution. He needed to get laid. He was sure some hot young thing at Liberties would help take his mind off the wolf. He finished his drink and strode to the bathroom to get ready.
Twenty minutes later, Jake started the short walk to the bar. His heart sank with each step he took. This had seemed like a good idea at first, but now he wasn’t so sure. He wasn’t in the mood to pick someone up. It felt like a betrayal of Kelan. Jake scoffed at the ridiculous thought. He barely even knew the man. But the thought of being intimate with someone else right now, instead of starting a fire in his belly, left him feeling chilled to the bone.
Kelan was across the street from Jake’s apartment when he spotted Jake walking away from the building. He frowned. He’d told Jake the previous evening that he’d be back tonight. Didn’t Jake believe him? Or was the man purposely avoiding him? He was about to turn around and go back to Cody’s, but the thought caused an ache in his chest. He needed to be with his mate.
Kelan followed Jake down the street. He was close enough to pick up Jake’s scent on the wind and it was all he could do to keep from running to the man and carrying him home like some sort of caveman. Jake’s scent called to him. It was sweetest thing he had ever known. But as he got closer, he could sense the emotions pouring out of Jake, and they nearly brought him to his knees.
Jake was miserable.
The confusion and sadness rolling around inside him made Kelan want to throw his arms around Jake and promise him that everything would be all right. But would it? Kelan wasn’t even sure of that himself. All he knew was that Jake was suffering and he felt powerless to do anything about it.
A little while later, Jake stopped walking. He stood in the street unmoving before taking a seat on the steps of a nearby apartment building. Kelan watched as he leaned his arms on his knees and hid his face in his hands. With a heavy heart, Kelan crossed the road and walked over to his mate.
“Jake?”
Jake’s head snapped up and his eyes widened.
“What are you doing here?”
“I told you I’d be back tonight. We need to talk, Jake, this is important.”
“I was on my way to Liberties, the bar I met you in last night. Was going to pick someone up and take him home with me.”
Kelan felt a growl begin to form in his chest but, with effort, he kept it inside. The thought of Jake being intimate with another man was suffocating. He pulled in a shaky breath and took a seat on the step next to Jake before his legs gave out.
“Then why are you sat here?”
“I couldn’t go through with it. I don’t know why.”
“I do.”
Jake met Kelan’s eyes and seemed to be eager for his answer.
“It’s because we’re mates, Jake. I don’t know exactly how the mating bond works in humans, but for wolves it’s very strong. Now that I’ve found you, the thought of ever being with anyone else repulses me. I can’t describe how much it hurts to hear that you want to be with someone else.”
Jake sighed. “I don’t want to, but I think it would be for the best if I did.”
“How do you figure that?”
“Because I can’t do this, Kelan.”
“Do what?”
“This, us. A relationship.”
“You don’t want a relationship with me.” It wasn’t a question but Kelan hoped Jake would give him an answer anyway. Preferably one that wouldn’t break his heart and shatter his whole world.
“I don’t want a relationship with anyone.”
“Why not?”
Jake stayed quiet. Kelan thought he wasn’t going to answer his question, but then Jake sighed again and looked up at him.
“If I don’t get involved with anyone, then I can’t get hurt.”
“That sounds like a very lonely existence to me.”
Jake shrugged. “Maybe, but it’s worth it.”
“I don’t think it is. Besides, that isn’t even an issue. You’re my mate. I could never hurt you.”
“How can I trust what you say? You probably believe what you’re saying is true but you can’t know that for certain. Things happen.”
Kelan wasn’t sure Jake was taking about the two of them anymore. At a guess, he’d say Jake was referring to whatever had happened in his past.
“I’ll earn your trust, Jake. You’ll realise over time that this was meant to be and that I would never hurt you. Can’t you at least try? What’s the worst that could happen?”
“You could leave me,” Jake said, quietly.
Kelan frowned. Is that what had happened? Had Jake been involved with a wolf that had left hi
m? Broken his heart? He took hold of Jake’s face, forcing him to meet his gaze.
“Only when I’m dead,” he said, with conviction. “Wolves mate for life. I would never leave you, nor would I want to.”
“You can’t know that for sure. You don’t even know me. What if you get to know me and decide you don’t like what you see? Where would that leave me?”
“That wouldn’t happen. This is destiny, Jake. You and I were made for one another. You can’t fight fate. You have to take a chance on us. I promise you it will be worth it in the end. We can be very happy together.”
Kelan saw a glimmer of hope on Jake’s face and relief surged through him. He slid along the step and put his arm around Jake’s shoulders. Jake tensed at first, then relaxed into the hold. He kissed the top of Jake’s head then ruffled his hair.
“Does this mean you’re willing to try?” Kelan asked, holding his breath in anticipation.
“I’ll try.”
Kelan let out a relieved breath. “That’s all I ask, baby.”
* * * *
Jake poured Kelan a drink then sat down next to him on the sofa. Now that he had made the decision to try to make things work with Kelan, he felt as though a lead weight had been lifted from his chest. He was still nervous and worried that Kelan might disappear but if he wanted someone in his life—no, if he wanted Kelan in his life—it was a chance he would have to take.
Kelan was right about the mating bond. What Jake felt for Kelan was more than attraction or desire. He couldn’t call it love, of course, because he barely knew the man, but he could quite easily see it heading that way. Despite his reservations, he felt happy when he was with Kelan and all of his insecurities and doubts seemed to fade with the man’s presence.
“So is that a Texan accent I detect?” Jake asked, taking a sip of his scotch.
Kelan nodded. “Sure is, born and bred.”
“What brought you to New York?”
“My brother,” Kelan said, fondly. “He recently mated with an alpha from New Mexico, so he’s going to be moving there for a while. I’m here to help him pack. General Dogsbody, at your service.” Kelan chuckled, lifting his drink in a salute.
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