by Bade, Julia
They welcomed her to their circle of sisterhood instantly. “Cholita, did your abuela ever tell you about the day she met your grandfather and swallowed a peso?”
The story could not even go on because these women were about to have heart attacks from the thunder of laughter rolling out between them.
Apparently, awkward moments with men were hereditary. Soledad felt her face go hot. When Xavier appeared on the porch, she was still living in that moment and found it difficult to greet him. But she didn’t have to. The drunk old ladies were quick to pounce on him with their welcomes.
Soledad told herself that she would have to save the memory of the underwear on her head to share with her own Suki when she was old and gray. But as of right now, she didn’t have a Suki. The demands of being the best at everything possible left little room for friendships, relationships, and bonding of any sort outside of that she was entitled to from her family. And yet here she was, willing to pull a piece of herself aside from this lifestyle she’d built, something so secure and safe, all for this boy.
One thing she loved about being with her abuelita was the careless nature about her. It wasn’t that Abuela was careless or uncaring or irresponsible, it was really that she just got things. She didn’t find the need to linger over Soledad. Whereas, if this boy were at Soledad’s home in El Paso, he’d have to get through an armed guard to get to the door, and then go through interrogations from her parents. They would not be allowed to go anywhere alone, but would have to visit in the living room or on the porch. And surely, the twins would have to be present as watchdogs. The fear of inappropriate sexual activity or the potential danger of anything happening to Soledad if she wasn’t with her parents overruled the need to live and let live.
Soledad frowned. Her father was so different in California. Maybe it was the fact that he understood he could not control everything. When he was there working, Soledad did as she pleased. The beach, the theater, it was all hers for the taking. She could have easily dated a boy, and it would have gone unnoticed. But she didn’t want any of that anyway. She was a happy soul, off doing these things by herself. Maybe her father knew that, and perhaps that’s why he never worried about her keeping poor company. He didn’t worry about her off on her own; he just didn’t worry.
Abuelita sent them off with a blessing. When Soledad’s feet left the porch, she felt like she had just entered a peculiar and thrilling world. And when they were out of sight and Xavier took her hand, she felt like anything in this world was possible. Their fingers intertwined, sending a thrill through every joint, every bone, and inch of her body, and she actually jerked.
“Are you okay?” He looked concerned.
“I’m great. I just caught a chill,” she lied.
“Should we turn back for a sweater?” He slowed down and tugged on her hand.
“You’ve got two strong arms for me, don’t you?” She smiled. Her boldness pleased her.
She had caught him off guard, and he spoke with a stutter that pleased her all the more.
“Y-yes, o-of course.” He glanced away and smiled at the ground, looking so sheepish that at that moment she found him completely irresistible, as well as her newfound take-charge confidence. This was, after all, her first real boy relationship, or her first real whatever this was with a member of the opposite sex.
If there were any reservations about tonight, or where they stood, she had just extinguished them. His newfound confidence was undeniable as he let go of her hand and wrapped his arm around her, and they continued their way to the feria.
When they arrived, Soledad feared that the entrance would put a bad stigma around this evening, as her sight lingered on the spot where her trust had been violated. She felt herself pulled away. They wouldn’t be entering at the main entrance. Instead, without even realizing he was already saving her, Xavier led her along the side of the feria, and she gladly submitted.
“It’s so dark!” She felt like they were sneaking in. She glanced around, scared.
“I’m right here.” His voice was suddenly at her ear, and she could feel his mouth brush against her. He squeezed her hand and continued to lead her, but stayed closer so she’d feel more secure.
Her eyes suddenly adjusted, and she felt better. Once they made their way through the unpredictable dirt and hilly ground, the endless patterns of tents lit blue by the moon, they procured a clean walkway and moved toward an opening. Two young boys gave them only a quick glance. Realizing it was Xavier, they greeted him. One with a nod, one with a wave.
This section, she could see, was rather large, like a campground, and it was gated off from the actual feria with more space in between the two locations. In the distance, she could see people inside the actual feria, but where they were now, the workers, props, etc. resided.
“Are you ready?” he asked.
“I am.”
“Better yet, are you hungry?”
“I ate.” She was starving, but preferred not to eat in front of him. She felt embarrassed, even though eating had no gains on wearing underwear on your head.
“All right then. First stop. You stay here.”
Xavier detoured into a tent.
In a few short seconds, he came out holding a rope. He tugged and Soledad could make out something long and gray, living, rough skin rippling in the faint light coming from inside the tent. As Xavier lured the creature out, she lifted her gaze to take in a real, live elephant. She gasped. God surely took his time in carving such a peculiar animal.
“Aye, Dios!” She laughed the laughter of her inner child. Squealing, actually.
Xavier seemed pleased with her reaction. He hoisted himself onto the animal and reached his hand out for her. “You don’t have to pay for this ride. It’s on me.”
She reached out for his hand, and he effortlessly hauled her up between his legs. With his arms now around her waist, he pulled her closer to his body. They rocked back and forth as he ordered the elephant to move.
The ride was easy, calming. From so high up, Soledad felt like they were in their own world. Xavier commanded the elephant to stand and it did. Soledad screamed, but with delight. She knew Xavier would never do anything to put her in jeopardy. They rode the elephant all around the camp, waving to workers who were taking a break, or perhaps off for the evening. The friendly group waved, but none hesitated to stare curiously.
After a few more strides to the outskirts of the camp, they stopped at a small trailer.
“This is home away from home for my dad and me.”
Xavier got off the animal and reached up to help Soledad down. Soledad felt heat rush to her face as she felt Xavier’s strong hands on her thighs, then her hips, then her stomach, his hands just touching the bottoms of her breasts as he assisted her to the ground. Her heart thumped heavily and she felt a little shaky.
She slid down the rest of the way, and as they stood, Xavier was spooning her, his arms still around her waist. She put her hands over his.
Xavier put his face in her hair and inhaled deeply. His breath on her skin and scalp sent a shiver up her spine. In response, his hands tightened over her hips.
“Do you want to come inside?” Xavier gestured toward his trailer.
“Is that a good idea?” Her voice came out a near whisper, shaky and hoarse.
“I promise I’ll be good.”
“Not too good, okay?” Her body warmed. Had she really said that?
His mouth dropped open as he stared at her.
“I’m sorry. Am I going too far?” She was ashamed of herself.
“No, of course not! You are smart and independent, and you know what you want. Thankfully it’s me.” He winked at her.
He secured the elephant and ran his palm along the animal’s trunk. “You did good, baby.” He retrieved a bucket of grains and bananas. �
�Good, baby.” He nuzzled the animal’s head with his own, then left the elephant with the large bucket.
Walking backward into the trailer, he pulled Soledad inside.
Soledad gasped. Flowers lay scattered all over the small sitting area.
Xavier appeared pleased with her reaction. “I picked these earlier in the day. I hope they suit you.”
Instantly the smell of gardenias seduced her. And it wasn’t just gardenias. There were violets, lilies, roses. There was no way he could have afforded all of them. She wanted to know how he came about them, or where he picked them from, but she didn’t want to ruin the moment.
“They’re all so, so beautiful. Thank you so much.” She had never received flowers from a boy before. In the silence, she nervously glanced around the small compartment. There was no sign of interior decorating, just enough for living. Four large blankets lay folded on a small tan sofa. Dream catchers hung from the tiny window that could be confused for a peephole. Two separate curtains on each side of the room must have held the sleeping arrangements for the two men, and there was the receiving room and the small kitchen with a breakfast area. The trailer could not be more than 200 square feet, including the mysterious space behind the two curtains.
Soledad shifted shyly, the floor protesting underneath her with a creak. Every move seemed exaggerated in the tiny trailer, especially when Xavier moved closer to her.
He brought his face into hers and whispered, “Do you really like the flowers?”
“Sí.” Soledad’s voice was barely above a whisper. “Very much.”
Xavier’s breath was sweet, enticing. The pressure became too much, and Soledad shifted away. “Where’s your father?” She didn’t mean to change to subject.
“He’s off tonight, so he’s probably out on the town playing with women.” There was scorn in his voice.
“Is that a bad thing?”
“Well, no, I guess not for him.” His mood changed instantly, and he laughed.
“Do you think that’s something you would do?”
Xavier’s cool humor did not lighten her slight scrutiny.
“No.” His voice grew serious. “My mother raised me to love and respect a woman. Actually, my father taught me that as well.”
“And then?”
“Then she was gone, and my father was broken. Now he does mostly as he pleases.”
“I’m so sorry.” She took his hand.
“I’m okay. It was hard at first, but time is definitely a healer. Anyway, life is starting to look up again.” He smiled sweetly at her.
“I think I feel the same.”
“Think?” he teased her.
“Know.” She corrected herself. “I feel the same.”
“If life is starting to look up for you, too, then where are you coming from?”
“Well, it’s not as traumatic as your story.”
“It’s still important.”
“You’ll think I am a spoiled, ungrateful brat.”
“Try me. Do you mind?” He moved over to a bucket of water and washed his hands, never taking his eyes off of her.
“No, of course not.”
“Okay, go on.” He nodded at her.
“Well, my father and I seem to be distant lately. I don’t know what it’s like at home right now since I haven’t been there to test the waters, so I lay awake at night worrying about it. I’m nervous about going to college, and I had to battle my parents about it. I still may have to.”
He stopped whatever it was he was preparing and looked at her with what seemed like all the intrigue in the world. “That’s amazing. Where will you go?”
“Stanford. It’s in California, where my aunt lives.”
He lingered on her for just a few seconds more. “Even with family out there you still had to convince them?”
“They can be very difficult sometimes.”
“What will you study?”
“Law.”
“Well, Senorita, I feel that you may be out of my league.” His laugh held a nervous undercurrent.
“And you see, that’s my other issue. I mean, not that I’ve had much time to grow a relationship, but boys don’t like me anyway. They don’t even tolerate me. I’ve basically had to compete with them all my life. And they are intimidated, sometimes even angry at me for my goals and achievements and my intelligence, I guess.”
Soledad could only guess the display of her face, until Xavier’s voice became tender.
“I was only kidding. I truly admire you. I’m so proud to know a girl like you, and even more proud that you would do me the honor of spending this time with me.”
“Really?” As she finished, he was waiting with a spoon to her lips.
The smell was unmistakable. Then her tongue confirmed the sweet honey taste. Flan.
“It’s delightful! Did you make this?”
“Yes, earlier today. It was my mother’s recipe, but inspired by a very lovely young woman. So it’s laced with my two best girls.”
Xavier’s gaze darkened. Did he mean her? She swallowed. Silence.
“In case you’re confused,”—he nodded—“Yes. I’m referring to you.”
“Well, I accept, then.”
“Well, I thank you, then.”
Their ensuing laughter sang in tune and could have shaken the tiny trailer, but they would never have noticed.
They began and ended the hours with seamless conversation, and even when there wasn’t anything to say, the silence was natural. There was no fatigue in the atmosphere. The energy in the room continued to renew itself. Before long, they somehow, unnoticeably moved from the breakfast bar to the sofa, and for all Soledad knew, they could have sauntered there.
“I know it’s getting late, but I hope you can tolerate one last surprise.” Xavier inclined his head toward her. “I promise I won’t keep you out too much longer.”
“That should be all right.”
“But I need for you to make me a promise.”
“You have me at my most vulnerable. At this point, I would promise you anything.” She felt intoxicated from his presence.
“If you’re pleased with this night, before it’s over, would you do me the honor of allowing me to kiss you?”
The tiny tan sofa creaked as Soledad shied away.
“I’m sorry, was I too forward? Should we take it back a step?”
She had actually shied away because the moment the word ‘kiss’ had escaped his lips, she was ready to surrender. She took a deep breath, fighting an internal battle to maintain her composure.
“I promise I’ll be pleased with this night.” She forced herself to meet his gaze.
Xavier’s eyes locked on her. She couldn’t help but hope, believe he was about to kiss her. The desire in his eyes told her he wanted to. She stayed her breathing in anticipation, but flooded with disappointment when he stood and lifted her off the sofa.
When they exited the trailer, Soledad was startled that the lights at the feria across the way had already gone black. Time had escaped her, but she wasn’t sure how or when. She was sad their night was coming to an end, but also very grateful her grandmother would not be intolerant of her extended curfew. Anyway, she and Suki were out cold. Of that she was certain.
Kerosene lamps adorned the darkened camp as they escorted the elephant back to his home.
“My flowers!” Soledad turned, intending to head back to Xavier’s trailer.
He stayed her with a soft hand on her shoulder. “Don’t worry. I’ll use them as my excuse to see you tomorrow.”
“Then I can live without them for a night because they are a promise of good things to come.”
He squeezed her hand.
Soon, they were headed to the actual feria gro
unds. To the Ferris wheel to be exact. The feria had a ghostly vibe to it when empty. A breeze picked up, making her wish she’d brought a sweater.
“Muchas gracias, mi amigo.” Xavier shook hands with a young man about his age, who was manning the Ferris wheel station. Actually, he looked like he was about to leave. “I owe you.”
“I won’t forget that,” the young man joked.
“And I won’t forget what you’ve done for me.”
Xavier helped her into the cabin and got in beside her. He wrapped his arm around her and brought her snuggly into his side. She wiggled closer, needing his warmth, and something more.
The cabin began to move. As they ascended, she had no idea what the purpose was of riding a Ferris wheel in the dark, until suddenly the great open sky appeared before them. With lights out below, the sky was an exaggerated ocean of brilliant stars, and the moon, an enormous ball of glowing light. It was breathtaking.
What a gift of nature.
When they reached the top, Xavier turned to her.
She nodded, then wet her lips with the tip of her tongue. His breath brushed her face as he hovered, just for a second, before lowering his mouth to hers.
She felt his tongue on hers. His breath was sweet. It was a kiss that stopped time. His tongue danced around her lips, and she forced herself closer to him. They separated in brief pauses to breathe, but even those were too long to be apart. Somewhere in the distance, fireworks burst into multi-colors and sounds. Soledad smiled. It was only appropriate that someone out there would be celebrating with them.
Chapter 8
The next morning as the old ladies struggled with the aftermath of their night before, Soledad struggled with the aftermath of a love overdose.
She woke up and made burritos with egg and chorizo. She was too lovesick to eat, her grandmother and Suki too hung over to eat, but she made breakfast anyway. As she forced her food down, she daydreamed, repeating that kiss in her head over and over.