She folded her hands in her lap. “Ari, I want to be your friend.”
He met her eyes. “Well, I don’t.”
His words stung. “That’s mean.”
He put a hand on her bare knee. “No, Zwaantie I…”
Zwaantie knocked his hand off. If Ari wasn’t willing to be her friend, then she’d ignore him until he came around. If she had to deal with him concerning affairs of the state, she’d make sure she always had people with her. She could always send Leo to deal with him.
She turned to the person on her left. Viggo. King of the Media. Maybe she could see what the public was really saying about her. He might prove a more powerful ally than Ari.
“Usually you and Luna aren’t far from one another,” Zwaantie said. Luna was several seats away talking animatedly with the princesses on either side of her. It was true. Anytime Zwaantie had caught a glance of Luna, she was always with Viggo.
“The king and queen decide where everyone sits. I am quite fond of Luna, but tonight they put her near the princesses. Perhaps the queen thought she needed to make new friends. We’re meeting up later and partying in the gardens.”
“I’ve never been to the gardens.” Zwaantie was a little envious of Luna. She had no worries or concerns about what the future held. It wasn’t fair.
Ari slid closer and slung his arm across the back of her chair. His fingers lingered on her shoulder. Her chest tingled. Her reactions to him were distracting. “Then you are missing out. Can Zwaantie and I join your little party?”
Zwaantie let out a deep breath. She couldn’t make any moves that would lead Viggo to think something was going on. If she made it seem like she didn’t want to be around Ari, Viggo might get suspicious.
“Of course. We’re going to spend the night there,” Viggo said.
Zwaantie wanted to argue, to get out of spending the night in the same place as Ari, but she didn’t want to be rude. Viggo said party though, so there would be a lot of people. A lot of pictures would be taken, and she hoped Ari wouldn’t risk her reputation.
Zwaantie could make sure Sage went as well, and then she’d avoid Ari and surround herself with princesses like Luna had. This might be good. She hadn’t spent much time with Viggo before, and these relationships were important. No matter what happened, Viggo was her connection to a good image with the people. If she won him over, he could do wonders for her.
Dinner flew by. Viggo was hilarious, and Zwaantie managed to avoid Ari’s roaming hands. By the time dinner was over, Ari was sulking and nudging her with his foot.
“I’m going to get Sage. We’ll meet you in the gardens,” Zwaantie said to Viggo. Sage would be a good ally and buffer. She wouldn’t let Ari pester her.
“Of course. See you there. Make sure Sage brings her potions,” Viggo said with a wink.
Just as Zwaantie stood, so did Ari, and he followed her to Sage.
“Hey, we’re going to party with Viggo and friends in the gardens,” Zwaantie said, standing as far from Ari as she dared.
Sage’s face fell. “That sounds like so much fun, but I have to help Daddy with some stuff.”
“We’re going to spend the night. Maybe you’ll come later.”
“Yeah, that sounds great,” she said. Her face told a different story. Her jaw was tense and her eyes sad. Zwaantie wondered what was going on.
“Viggo said to bring your potions.”
Sage recovered and raised her eyebrows. “You sure, princess? You’ve never really partied with me before. The lock-in was tame.”
Zwaantie shrugged. “Something new, I guess.” Now that she knew how Sage really operated, it would be interesting to watch her work. She was fairly certain every move Sage made was calculated to gather information, no matter how innocent it seemed.
“See you around midnight,” Zwaantie said.
Ari put his hand on Zwaantie’s back and a thrill went up her spine. “Come on, I’ll show you where it is.”
She liked the feel of his hand and knew she shouldn’t. What she really wanted was more of it, but that was out of the question. No matter how badly she wanted him, Ari would never be hers.
Chapter 17
The Garden
By the time she and Ari left the dining room, there was no sign of Viggo or Luna. Zwaantie took a few steps away from Ari. She couldn’t afford to be close to him.
Ari shoved his hands in his pockets. Maybe he was feeling the same way. She snorted. Yeah, right. Ari had only one goal, and that was Zwaantie. If he was withdrawing from her, it was because he thought it would further his ability to win her over.
“They must’ve already gone down. I’ll go with you,” Ari said.
Zwaantie didn’t say anything as they walked down the hallway, and neither did he. Though he did keep glancing her way. They entered the elevator, and she finally let herself meet Ari’s eyes. That was a mistake.
“You look beautiful,” he said.
A thrill buzzed in her chest, and she squirmed. “Thank you.”
He shook his head and leaned back against the glass, holding her gaze, the tension between them through the roof.
“You know it’s not fair. If I had been the one sent to Sol, I wouldn’t have to fight against these feelings,” he said.
“You never would’ve come to Sol, because then you would’ve been committing to marriage.” At least she knew where he drew the line.
He scowled, but didn’t respond. She wondered about his words. If he had come and agreed to marry her, they would be creating the strongest bond possible between the two kingdoms. She was surprised she hadn’t thought of it before. It presented an intriguing possibility.
The gardens were located in the middle of the castle on the third floor. They stopped in small room lined with glass bottles like the potion shop.
“These are all glow. We have to take them, or we won’t see each other. The garden is pitch black except the plants. The darkness makes them stand out more. Here.” He handed Zwaantie a small bottle, and she drank it while he downed another one. Maybe she should’ve checked it first in case he’d given her more than glow. “Oh and take your shoes off.”
Ari glowed faintly in front of her. He looked like an angel.
“Just so you know, Viggo and the others won’t be here until close to midnight.”
“What?” she asked, regretting allowing him to bring her. Before she could argue, he pushed open the door and gave her a nudge.
The first thing she noticed was the smell of roses, lilies, and tulips mixed into one. Plus pine and the faint smell of the ocean. The room was pitch black, and they were completely alone. They had nearly four hours until midnight. This would not end well.
She stopped in the doorway, and Ari pressed up behind her. Stars, he felt nice.
“You need to move,” he whispered into her ear, sending a shiver down her spine.
“I don’t want to run into anything.” Her voice was breathy and weak. She hated how he did this to her.
“You won’t. The garden doesn’t start until several feet in. Just a couple of steps, you’ll be fine.”
She took a reluctant step forward, and Ari moved with her, his hand resting on her hip. The ground beneath her feet was cool and soft. Like grass.
“Are you ready?” Ari asked.
“For what?” She worried he was going to kiss her then and there. She wouldn’t stop him either.
“We’re going to turn the garden on.”
“Okay.”
“Here. I’ll show you how.” He ran his fingers down her arm and gripped the back of her hand, pressing it against the wall behind her. Her fingers brushed up against a small button.
“When you are ready, push it,” he breathed into her ear. She hated how much she loved his voice. She took a couple of deep breaths to calm her racing heart, and then she pressed down.
“Oh,” she gasped. Everything glowed. The grass beneath their feet was a soft green. The flowers, the trees. Even the butterflies gave off light. They
glowed rainbow, and the color shifted as they fluttered in the air.
Ari wrapped his arms around Zwaantie’s stomach. She barely noticed because it felt so natural. That was almost worse than the constant energy between them. At least with the tension, she was on her guard. She’d be lulled into the comfort and not even notice she was falling.
“Pretty amazing, huh?”
Amazing didn’t even begin to describe it.
“Are these real?” Zwaantie asked, feeling a petal on an enormous lily bloom. She’d never seen anything like this before. It was as if someone looked at a flower and said, “How can I make this better?”
“No, the plants are magical. But the mages studied natural gardens. They’ve taken some liberties, obviously. And they change it up quite a bit. This is one of my favorite places in the castle. Sometimes Sage and I sleep down here when we’re feeling blue. I’m surprised we haven’t brought you here before.”
The grass felt real beneath her feet, but softer. She walked along a small path and admired the too-large roses and blinking bees. Several butterflies landed on her arm, and she stopped to watch them change colors.
Ari led her to the center of the garden where an enormous oak tree stood. Every few moments she was struck by how comfortable she was with Ari. In the garden, time felt endless as if she and Ari simply were together. There was no beginning and no end.
The leaves of the oak tree glowed different colors. They were fall colors, so the leaves were red, orange, and yellow. Ari pulled her under the tree and lay down. The ground was soft and warm.
She threw caution to the wind and scooted closer to him, pressing up against his side, staring up into the magical tree.
“This feels like the fairy stories my slave nanny used to tell me as a little girl. I never knew this was real.”
He laughed.
“I guess we are both having our realities changed today.”
She didn’t want to hear how his reality had changed because she had a sinking feeling it had everything to do with her. Tears threatened. She couldn’t love him. Not now. Though, she desperately wanted to. She didn’t know what was happening to her, but she felt like she loved him. More than she’d ever loved Phoenix. Why couldn’t Ari have just left her alone?
He brushed her hands with his fingers. “I never thought it would be possible to feel this way, you know. I mean I’ve kissed hundreds of girls and slept with most of them, but I’ve never once had the desire to want anything more. But you, you make me want more.” He sighed and withdrew his hand. She missed it immediately.
“I wonder if it’s because maybe I’m getting tired of sleeping with a different woman every night, or if it’s because you are unattainable. I’ve never hesitated in sleeping with a married woman before, but you are Leo’s. He’s my brother. I feel guilt for being attracted to you. That’s a new feeling too. Guilt. I don’t know what’s real anymore.”
Neither did she, but she couldn’t say that to him as much as she wanted to. If she admitted her feelings, a dam would break, and the flood that followed would kill them both. This wasn’t right.
He rolled over and faced her, his expression full of anguish. She knew she should say something, anything, but her words were lost.
“Oh stars, I can’t even look at you without wanting to touch you.” He ran his fingertips down her bare arm and then brought her fingers to his lips. He kissed them lightly. Goosebumps rose on her arms. Ari stared at Zwaantie with those intense eyes of his.
“Am I crazy? Maybe I’ve bared my soul to you, and you don’t even feel the same way.”
Zwaantie should’ve said she didn’t. It would make everything easier and was the only way out of whatever this was. She wasn’t allowed to want him. She needed to tell him they could never be together no matter how badly either one wanted it. She’d admitted she loved him when she’d taken that secret potion, but he still seemed insecure of the way she felt. So she said the one thing she knew she shouldn’t.
“Leo doesn’t kiss me the way you do.”
He groaned. “You weren’t supposed to make this harder for me. You were supposed to tell me you’ve grown to love Leo, and I need to get over it.”
“I should,” she said, placing a hand on his face, thrilled with her own boldness. “You know I don’t love Leo. I planned on marrying him in the hopes someday I would learn to love him. I’m marrying him for the sole purpose of joining our kingdoms. I’m marrying him to save little Raaf.”
That was it. The only reason. But Ari was a prince too. Right? Not just any prince either. The heir to the Stellan throne. Oh stars. She could have him.
“Remind me of the prophecy,” she said.
“If Stella and Sol aren’t joined by little Raaf’s first birthday, he’ll die.” He recited it like he memorized the words. “Then there’s the new part that you have to love Leo, or it won’t work.” The Old Mother didn’t say Leo. She said prince. Zwaantie had to love the prince and love him she did.
“You know, the same purpose could be served if I married you instead.”
Ari’s face turned hard. “Not happening. I’m never marrying anyone. Even if I choose to be completely faithful to someone, we won’t be married. I would forever resent my wife.”
Zwaantie’s smile faltered. The purpose was to join the kingdoms. Stella would not be saved if they pretended, and she couldn’t be with him otherwise. The Old Mother had been clear about what she had to feel. Love. The only obstacle between her and Ari was marriage.
“Then I guess our conversation is over. I have to love my husband, and you won’t marry me.”
He clutched at his hair. “Do you know what you’re asking of me?”
“Of course. What I don’t understand is how hard it is to give me your fidelity. If you love me, then you’ll marry me. We have more to think about than ourselves.”
“Seriously, woman. Why couldn’t we just be together?”
“Oh, and let little Raaf die? Also, in case you forgot, I have a kingdom I have to run. Our children would be bastards. Is that what you want? In my kingdom they would not even be recognized as true heirs to the throne.”
He scoffed. “They won’t want to rule in Sol anyway. There are plenty of places for them to rule over here. Besides, I am heir to the throne here. I have to rule here. We wouldn’t go back to Sol.”
Ugh. He was infuriating. It didn’t matter anyway.
“Well, that argument is not worth having because you won’t marry me. Did you forget what happens to your kingdom if we don’t merge them?”
Zwaantie wasn’t sure how they got from not being sure of their feelings to declaring a love so deep they were willing to risk everything just to have it. At least she was. He wouldn’t consent to marry her, which meant that he didn’t feel the same way.
His breathing was deep, and anger marred his beautiful features, but she could tell he was thinking.
“Okay, okay. I’ll tell you what. We’ll rule in Sol. I’ll give up my right to rule here. Leo can have it. And we’ll pretend to be married. We’ll tell everyone we got married here. I can give up Stella for you.”
He really thought that would make it okay. They’d just pretend. Yeah, right.
“Oh, so you can sleep with my slaves? You know, when we fight and stuff, you’ll make sure you’ll still get laid. This is absurd. I can’t believe I thought you loved me. You don’t. If you did, you wouldn’t be thinking about the stupid curse because you’d know you would never cheat on me.”
He squeezed his eyes shut. “You do understand that even if you marry Leo, he will probably have affairs from time to time. And he’ll expect the same from you. It’s part of our culture. There is nothing wrong with an occasional fling on the side.”
“Apparently your mother felt differently.”
“Yes, well, there are a few people who disagree, but they are in the minority.”
“I’d rather be cheated on by someone I didn’t love than someone I did. It doesn’t matter anyway. I have t
o marry a prince of Stella. That’s crucial to joining our kingdoms. Do you think the vipers will care if we pretend?”
“You are impossible.” He stormed from the oak tree. A few minutes later the door slammed.
Chapter 18
The Door
Zwaantie wandered around the garden for a while thinking about Ari and Leo. They were so different, and while Leo was growing on her and she was sure they’d have a happy marriage once she got over Ari, it wouldn’t have the fire a marriage with Ari would have. Probably wouldn’t have the fights they had either.
How she wanted Ari. He was everything she’d never known she wanted, and she had to ignore her feelings because she was not allowed to have him. In another life, maybe, but with the prophecy hanging over their heads, no way.
Who was she kidding? She understood now how the prophecy worked. It could only ever be Leo. He was the one who would marry her and properly join the kingdoms. She needed to forget about Ari and focus on Leo. He was safe and would save his kingdom. Her heart ached at the thought of marrying Leo. What if she never loved him? What if she could never figure out how to force her feelings? Little Raaf would die anyway.
Eventually her glow wore off so she reluctantly left the enchanted garden and wondered why no one else had shown up. Perhaps she hadn’t been down here as long as she thought. She was in no mood to party, and she was certain the others would arrive soon. She wanted to sleep. Sage would have to tell her about it in the morning.
She’d just shut the door to the garden when Luna, surrounded by a group of people, waved to her from down the hall. Zwaantie had to figure out how to get out of this. She had hoped to make it upstairs before she saw anyone.
Luna rushed up and gave her a big hug. Zwaantie returned the embrace, surprised. She’d missed her dear friend.
“I missed you,” Luna said. “I know you are off doing all those princessy things.”
Stella and Sol Box Set Page 43