Rediscovered Love
Page 6
Her words seeped in and my anger faded just a little bit. Sure, it would only be an hour or two before they all started in with their addictions. But at that moment, they were all there, sober, and wanted to spend some time with me. It was a rare opportunity and I wasn’t going to pass it up.
“That’s really nice of you guys. Thanks.”
“Holy shit! What the hell is all this stuff?” My uncle screamed from the living room.
With all their issues, I still loved them all and I laughed out loud at my uncle’s outburst. They gave me a good two hours of actual interest in my studies and my school life. My conversation was a marathon of words because I knew I had a limited time. Their attention span only lasted so long. But those two hours were a pleasure. It was almost as if things were normal. Like clockwork, old habits crept in. My dad started to sweat because he hadn’t had a drink yet. The pacing began as well and my sister joined in. Her body twitched a certain way when it didn’t get its fix by a certain time and the twitching had started. My uncle sat at the table with scratch offs as he spoke to my dad’s girlfriend about a trip to Atlantic City he was going on in a few days. He had been clean for a few months, but addictions found other ways to manifest themselves. His daughter played with her dolls by herself, and I resisted the urge to scoop her up and run away.
Their demons were not my demons. It was important for me to remember what I learned in therapy. I needed to enjoy the good moments for however long they lasted. Love them for who they were when they were not drowning in their addictions. It was hard, really, really hard, but I tried. Without judgment, I helped my uncle scratch off his tickets. I didn’t ask questions when my father and sister excused themselves and retreated to the backyard and returned like different people. They were adults and it wasn’t my job to fix them. That was my mantra and I repeated it over and over in my head all day long after they had left.
David’s call later that evening was such a welcome reprieve. He agreed to meet me at eight the next morning. We had a long drive ahead of us. It was my senior year and I couldn’t wait to graduate. It excited me that David would see my school and a side of my life he and everyone else were clueless about. He would be the only one to really know all of me. With that thought, my head hit the pillow and I fell asleep with a feeling of happiness I hadn’t felt in a very long time.
Chapter Thirteen
David arrived at eight and I was dressed and ready to go. He exited his pick up truck and looked edible. All he wore were shorts and a t-shirt and I needed to hold the banister of my front steps to keep myself upright. His arms flexed as he lifted my belongings and placed them in the bed of his truck. All I could think of was how good they looked with nothing covering his sexy tattoos. After I exhaled to help clear my naughty thoughts, I put the last few things into my car and locked up the house.
“I’ll follow you, okay? Drive safe and no speeding!”
With a laugh, I answered, “I never speed!”
“Yeah? Must I remind you of that time when you “borrowed” your sister’s car and we got pulled over because you were racing through the neighborhood?”
Sheepishly I answered, “Well, okay, I’ll give you that one, but I swear I haven’t gotten another ticket since then.”
We shared a laugh and he placed a small kiss on my lips before he retreated to his car. The ride was torturous with him in the car following me. I wanted him next to me so bad. We managed the drive with only one stop for a bite to eat and bathroom break, which was a record for me. Usually, I needed two or three stops. The trip was smooth sailing and when we arrived, I realized how much I missed Boston. It was a great city, but it would be better if David stayed there with me. My thoughts surprised me, and I realized we hadn’t talked about what me being in college meant for our relationship. My nerves got the best of me and my stomach ached.
After we parked, we got straight to work. I scored my own room in the apartment-style dorms on campus. Finally some privacy. It took hours, but we had everything in my room and in its place by the late evening.
“Wanna go get some dinner?” David asked.
“Yeah, sure.”
We headed to a small place in the North End. It was a beautiful night so we strolled along the neighborhood. David was the first to bring up our relationship.
“So I guess we need to talk, huh?”
I admitted, “Yeah, I was kind of waiting for you to bring it up.”
“I want to be up front with you. I’ve been having a great time with you. Running into the guys the other morning put a lot of shit into perspective for me.”
My stomach churned. He was going to end things. In that moment, I had my own epiphany. I didn’t want things to end. I wanted to be with him, I had no doubts. It crossed my mind to leave him standing there so I didn’t have to hear the words that were about to come out of his mouth. The look he gave me kept my feet planted on the sidewalk.
“I want to be with you, even if that means I’m going to have to deal with shit from Jason and the guys. You’re worth it.”
It wasn’t what I expected and I couldn’t help myself from jumping into his arms and kissing him. But how could I let him lose his friends because of me? My guilt made me pull out of our kiss.
“David, how can I let you possibly lose your friends because of me? That’s not fair. Don’t get me wrong, I want to be with you too, but I feel so guilty. It’s like I’m making you choose between them and me. How can I do that?”
“You’re not making me choose. They are making me choose. If they really cared about me, they wouldn’t. They would talk to me and try to understand. Actually, Jason did call me and I’m supposed to meet him at the gym tomorrow. I’m sure he’s gonna give me hell, but I can take it.”
“David, I’m sorry. I should be there taking the heat with you.”
“Don’t be crazy, Tori. I can handle it on my own.”
He placed a hand on my cheek and I melted into it.
“All these years he just used you. He never realized what he had. I’m not gonna be so stupid. I know how amazing you are. It pisses me off that all this time I had to hold back my feelings for you and watch you with him. We weren’t together because of him. I could’ve saved you from that heartache. I would’ve never used you like he did. I really did think he loved you at one point, until he easily let you leave for college and did nothing to stop you. When he started seriously dating that girl, it solidified it for me. He didn’t love you. Then you came back and the dick couldn’t wait to remind me that he could have you whenever he wanted. I’m telling you, if I lose his friendship because of this, then it’s his problem, not mine.”
“David, I always thought you were just flirting with me to be playful and that it didn’t really mean anything. I was so wrapped up with Jason I didn’t see you. I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. Just promise me you won’t let Jason and the guys get in the way of what we could have. A future together.”
“A future? Thinking that far ahead, huh?” I told him with a grin.
“Yeah, I am. Is that okay or is it too much too soon?”
“It’s perfect, definitely not too much too soon. So, have you given any thought to how this long distance thing will work between us?”
“Actually, I have. I’ll come visit as much as I can. Well, as much as you want me to. You said you’ll come back home for the holidays so I figure between those visits and Skype we should be good. I know you won’t be able to stay away from me too long without seeing my hot body,” he said jokingly.
“Yeah well, that hot body of yours better visit often because I’m gonna miss you.”
He placed a kiss on my lips and I couldn’t wait to be alone with him.
“Let’s get back to my room.”
“Tori, are you trying to get into my pants?”
“Yes.” I answered, and we laughed and hurried back to my dorm.
Chapter Fourteen
School took up more of my time than I thought it wou
ld. Senior year was supposed to be a breeze. It turned out to be a killer. David was so busy on a new job and it was hard for him to get away. That didn’t stop him from visiting though. Even if it meant a short visit of just one night, he drove the four hours each way just to see me. Thanksgiving break came and I had almost a whole week off. Back to New York I went and I couldn’t wait to spend the time with David. We decided to spend the actual holiday apart with our families. We still hadn’t told anyone about our relationship.
David talked with Joey, Brian, and Mike. He didn’t expect them to keep the fact that they had seen us together from Jason, but he did convince them to let him tell Jason himself. What David told him wasn’t exactly the truth. He told Jason we had met up that morning just for coffee. Jason wasn’t a fool, and he knew something was going on between us, but he didn’t ask David any questions. So David didn’t give him any information.
David said he wanted to see how things progressed between us before he told Jason about it. At first I didn’t agree that it was the right thing to do, but then it occurred to me it wasn’t any of my business how he handled the situation. It was between the two of them, and I stayed out of it. Jason and I weren’t exactly friends anymore, and I didn’t owe him an explanation. If David thought it was best to wait, then it was.
When I pulled up to my house, I felt melancholy. It had been three months since I had been home, and it hit me that I wouldn’t see my grandmother come to the door to greet me. When I was away it was almost like she wasn’t gone, like it was all a bad dream. I was reminded it really did happen. She was gone and there was no one there at the door to welcome me home.
With only a few bags of clothes to bring in, I took the load in all at once. Something fell from between the screen and wood door when I tried to enter the house. It was an envelope with my name scribbled across it. Curious, I opened it right away once I got inside. It was a note from David.
Tori,
Sorry I couldn’t be here to welcome you home. I want to make it up to you so be ready at 7. Wear something nice, we’re going out.
- David
My heart swelled. He was the best boyfriend, and I held that note to my chest with a goofy smile on my face for way too long. He didn’t say where we were going and I was worried I wouldn’t be dressed appropriately. It took me two hours to finally settle on a sweater dress. It was cold, so I paired it with boots and a long coat. David arrived right on time, and I lost my breath when he entered the house. He wasn’t one to dress up. I could count on one hand the number of times I saw the guy in something other than a t-shirt. He stood before me in a suit that fit him perfectly. I couldn’t imagine him being hotter until I saw him that night.
“Wow! You clean up nice.”
“I try,” he said with a grin.
“I’m dying to know, where are we going?”
“It’s a surprise. Come on. We gotta leave, I don’t want to be late.”
Excited, I grabbed my purse and followed him to his car. We headed into the city and I still had no idea where we would end up. He pulled into a parking garage in a familiar area and I tried to think of all the attractions nearby. There was no way to guess where we were headed; there were too many places. After we parked, he grabbed my hand and led us to our destination. After a two block trek, we ended up in front of Radio City Music Hall. My shock kept me from walking any further. The Christmas show was a favorite of mine. It held a special place in my heart. It was a memory I treasured ever since I was a little girl. My grandparents took my sister and me to it every year until my grandfather passed away when I was fourteen. I hadn’t been back since. My eyes filled with tears and I couldn’t find my voice to speak.
“Shit, don’t cry. I thought you would want to see the show. I didn’t want to make you cry. I’m sorry. We can leave, we don’t have to go inside.”
It wasn’t until he pulled my hand to leave that I pulled myself together to speak to him. “No, I don’t want to leave. I want to go in. I’m sorry I’m getting so emotional. I just never expected this. I haven’t seen the show since I was…”
“Fourteen. I know. I remember. Every year you went, you would come back and tell all of us about the Rockettes and how they fell like toy soldiers. I was always so jealous that you had such great grandparents that took you every year. Mine never did anything with me. Anyway, I thought it would be a nice way to honor their memory, maybe even make new ones, together.”
I saw him in a whole new way. He remembered my silly stories of the show; he remembered how much those times meant to me. I had never loved anyone as much as I loved him in that moment. What he did for me was the kindest, most meaningful thing anyone had ever done for me. I wrapped my arms around him and held him tight. Desperately, I wanted to tell him I loved him, but I didn’t. I didn’t want him to think it was because I was caught up in the moment. Those words would be saved for another time. I whispered in his ear, “Thank you so much for this.”
“You’re welcome. Now come on, we’ve got just enough time to take a picture with Santa. I heard he’s in the lobby.”
The smile was permanently fixed on my face the entire night. We were like two little kids enjoying every moment of the show. Afterwards, he bought me the show program and a toy soldier coffee mug. Back to the garage we went, but the night wasn’t over yet. David took me to a beautiful tapas bar and we indulged in just about everything on the menu. We even tried virgin versions of their most popular mixed drinks, thanks to the cool bartender who didn’t even look at us funny when we asked if it were possible.
It was well past two in the morning when we arrived back at my place. Even though it was so late and we were both tired from the long night, I asked him to spend the night. He happily said yes and it was a perfect ending to a perfect night. After we made love, he held me in his arms until I fell asleep. It was the best night of sleep I ever had.
Chapter Fifteen
The Thanksgiving holiday was over and I begrudgingly went back to school. I’d rather spend all my time with David, but I had a few more weeks of school before winter break. That break was a long one, and I couldn’t wait for it to arrive. David and I didn’t see each other in between the holidays because we were both too busy. I had finals and he had a construction job that had to be completed for the restaurant’s opening day on Christmas Eve. Modern technology helped us keep in touch, but it wasn’t the same. I longed to hold him and kiss him again.
The drive back home for winter break was a long, treacherous ride. The weather was bad and it took me over six hours to get there. I took advantage of my time alone to think about David and me. It was time we told everyone we were together, and it would be the first thing I would bring up when I finally saw him. He met me at my place and helped unload my car. When we were inside, I wasted no time and dove straight into the conversation.
“I was thinking on the ride here about our relationship. I think it’s time we told everyone. I don’t want to keep it a secret anymore. I’m not ashamed, I’m happier than I’ve ever been. Why should I have to hide it?”
“It’s not that I wanted to hide it. You know why I wanted to wait. But I agree. It’s time. I’ve been thinking about how I’m going to tell Jason.”
“I can’t tell you what you should say, but I would advise doing it in a public place.”
He laughed at me, “In a public place? What do you think he’s gonna do, punch me?”
With eyebrows raised I said, “Who knows? Maybe.”
“I don’t think so, but I’ll tell him to meet me at Roma’s tomorrow night just in case, okay?”
“Okay. Good luck.”
He responded with a kiss, and all thoughts of his conversation with Jason were pushed aside. We celebrated my return home in the bedroom, then the shower, then the kitchen, and then the living room. We never left the house and that was more than okay by me.
* * *
***
Anxious, I peered out my window, hoping to see David’s car pull up. It was two
hours since his meet up with Jason and I was dying to know how it went. When David finally appeared, I met him at the door and bombarded him with questions. My concern wasn’t for myself. I didn’t care what Jason thought of me, but I didn’t want David to lose his friendship with Jason. I knew how close they were and it would be terrible for David to lose his best friend over me.
“Tell me everything.”
“Okay, okay, just let me take my jacket off.”
“Sorry. I’m just dying to know how it went.”
“Actually, it went a lot better than I expected. It’s not like he was thrilled, but he wasn’t surprised. He’s not mad at you. He isn’t mad at me either. He just asked if we ever did anything behind his back when you two were together. When I told him no, he seemed relieved and then said it would take time for him to get used to seeing us together.”
“Wow, how very mature of him. I’m really surprised. What else did he say?”
“He said he’s not going to throw away our friendship because of you. Sorry, that sounds so rude, but that’s what he said.”
“Don’t be sorry, it’s fine.”
“He said it’ll be weird for awhile, but he has no problem with it. He was glad I went and talked to him about it.”
“How do you feel about it? Do you think he was truthful about you guys being okay?”
“Yeah, I do. I feel good about it. Like a weight has been lifted, you know? One less thing to worry about.”
“So did you just hang out the rest of the time? You were gone awhile.”
“Yeah, I’m sorry. The rest of the guys met up with us and we all hung out. It was good. They took a few jabs at me, but it’s fine.”
“I’m so happy for you. I’m so glad they understood. They are great guys and your true friends. You’re lucky to have them.”
“They’re your friends too, Tori. We’re both lucky to have them.”