“There will be, my darling, I’m sure of it,” his mother said.
Louisa clapped her hands. “Come, come, I hear the carriages arriving. I daresay tonight will be one that none of us shall ever forget.”
Hawk stood beside his wife in the ballroom, dread tightening his stomach. He’d not been this nervous when he’d attended his first ball. Come to think of it, he hadn’t been nervous at all that night. Nor any other.
But that was before he knew what it was to lift his trembling sister into his arms, to cradle her as he trudged across the moor, to know her death would be upon his shoulders.
“I pray it does not rain this evening,” he murmured.
“It shan’t,” Louisa said, as though she oversaw the weather with the ease she did their ball. “It’s going to be a lovely evening.”
“You are quite the continual optimist.”
She jerked her head around at his tartly delivered words. “Would you rather I be sour? I can manage that quite well if you prefer.”
He offered her a small smile. “Forgive me. I…”
“You’re nervous,” she said, and he heard the disbelief in her voice.
“I’m concerned.” He leaned near, inhaling her familiar fragrance, wanting to nuzzle his nose against her neck and breathe more deeply. In a low voice so as not to be heard by the sister standing beside him, he said, “As you are well aware, Caroline does not handle disappointment well.”
“She won’t be disappointed. Trust me.”
“How can you be so sure?”
He saw guilt flicker across her face, thought she was on the verge of explaining how she could possess such confidence, but the first of their guests walked in through doors leading from the tea room. Arranging for the ball had not been as costly as he’d feared, but neither had it been cheap. Still, he prayed that it would cost them only coins and not hearts.
He’d instructed Louisa to spare no expense, and she’d apparently taken him at his word. He didn’t know where she’d managed to find the servants who were escorting their guests to the rooms she’d designated to be used as cloakrooms, so their guests could shed their coats and shawls and see to straightening themselves before entering the tea room, where light refreshments awaited them. Only then, once they were refreshed from their journey, did they dare enter the ballroom, where their host and hostess were waiting to greet them. Along with Caroline and his mother.
It broke his heart to see the anticipation clearly etched on Caroline’s face, the worry visible in his mother’s eyes. If only he’d not been distracted from his purpose in marrying Jenny Rose then this evening would be ensured of success. As it was, he feared it was doomed to failure, for Caroline came with no dowry, no father…and as guests continued to parade in, no dance partner.
“Please cease your scowling,” Louisa whispered after a time.
“This is not going well.”
“Be patient. I assure you all will be well,” she said with her eyes fixed on the doorway. Then she smiled, a jubilant smile of welcome.
He looked to the doorway and felt as though he’d taken a punch to the gut. The very last people he’d expected to see this evening were approaching: Jenny and Jeremy Rose.
“I believe you are as beautiful as my brother claimed,” Caroline said to Jenny after introductions were made.
“Caroline,” Hawk muttered.
“Oh, I’m sorry, that was probably the wrong thing to say. I’ve never met an American.”
“We’re not that different,” Jenny said.
“You’re fabulously wealthy.”
“Caroline,” Hawk murmured.
“Oh, that was wrong to say, too. I’m so sorry. I’m terribly nervous.”
“I think you’re delightful,” Jeremy Rose said. “May I have the pleasure of the first waltz?”
Hawk wasn’t certain who stared harder: himself or Caroline.
“Oh, yes, yes, Mr. Rose. I would be honored.”
“If I may have your dance card so you don’t forget…”
“Oh, I shan’t forget, but it would be nice to have your name upon my card.” She slipped it off her wrist and watched, enthralled, as he penned his name on her dance card, then his engagement card before handing her card back to her. He slipped his card and the dance list into his jacket pocket.
“I’ll have a word with you before the dance,” Hawk said quietly.
Jeremy smiled at him, the smile of a gentleman accustomed to having his way. “I don’t believe so.”
“If you so much—”
“Hawk.” He heard the chastisement in his wife’s voice, felt her small hand biting into his arm. “Don’t ruin everything.”
He glanced back at her.
“Trust me,” she’d said.
Nodding, he turned back to the new arrivals. “Thank you for coming,” he forced himself to say.
“I’m sorry Kate’s not here this evening,” Jenny said, her voice low. “She began reading a new novel and simply couldn’t tear herself away from it.”
“She so loves her books,” Louisa said.
“A bit too much I’m beginning to think.”
He did not see Louisa signal, but she must have because the strains of the music indicating the first dance, a quadrille, began to play.
“You should honor your sister with the first dance,” Louisa said. “I can see to greeting our guests.”
He was more than ready to leave this obligation behind. He turned to his sister. “Miss Caroline, may I have the pleasure of this dance?”
Her face lit up as though by a thousand electric lights, and while he had yet to have electricity installed in his homes, he’d seen the electric lights becoming more and more accessible throughout London, but their brilliance paled when compared with the glow in Caroline’s eyes.
“I would be honored, Your Grace.”
He offered her his arm and thought perhaps, for a moment at least, all would be well.
Chapter 21
“W ill you please stop glaring?” Louisa demanded. “You will frighten away any other would-be dance partners with your fiercesome stare.”
Hawk looked down on her, and Louisa fought not to cower under his harsh demeanor. He’d approached her as soon as he’d finished dancing with Caroline, right before the second dance—the first waltz of the evening—began and insisted she put aside her hostess duties and honor him with a dance.
And she had been honored, thinking he truly wanted to dance with her. Now, she realized she was an expedient partner and gave him an excuse to stay near Caroline’s side as Jeremy Rose swept her over the dance floor. Hawk’s steps were dictated not so much by the music as by Jeremy’s ability to direct Caroline around the room.
“I don’t trust him,” he said.
“Why ever not?”
“You cannot deny he served as your champion.”
“Much more so than my brother, I will admit, but in my eyes his actions make him admirable and increase his trustworthiness.”
“For you, yes, but if he wishes to take revenge against me, there would be no better way than to hurt Caroline.”
“You can’t possibly think his nature is to wound an innocent woman.”
He shook his head, and she could see the worry etched so clearly in his face. Would that he would give one ounce of that worry toward her. “He will not hurt her,” she assured him.
“But still she will be hurt, when he returns her to Mother’s side, and no other gentleman asks her to dance.”
“When he returns her to your mother’s side, I daresay Caroline’s dance card will fill up very quickly.”
“It will not happen.”
“Would you care to make a wager?”
He narrowed his eyes. “What would we wager?”
“An hour of pleasure given to the winner, an hour of pleasure denied to the loser.”
“That is a rather bold proposal. Are you in a position to make good on that wager?”
She knew what he was asking. Her cour
ses had ended a few days ago, but she’d not said anything, because it was imperative to her plan nothing happen that might cause her to get pregnant. Yet she wanted one more night in his arms, one more night of passion, and he’d taught her ways to have pleasure without the peril of pregnancy.
“I am,” she said quietly.
“So if Caroline’s dance card does not fill, you will pleasure me and take none for yourself?”
She nodded, her stomach quivering.
He smiled confidently, the conqueror certain of conquering. “I accept the terms of the wager.”
“You’ll pleasure me as I ask and take none for yourself?” she repeated.
“Should I lose, which, unfortunately, I shall not.”
“Oh, you shall lose, without a doubt. If you will recall, I’m the one who determined the guest list.”
He cocked his head to the side as though thinking. “And what clever plan did you put into place?”
“Look around, Your Grace. You will see several mothers talking to their sons. Those mothers have daughters who are in attendance. Or you will see sisters speaking to their brothers, and I daresay those brothers care for their sisters’ happiness as much as you care for yours. The daughters and sisters have one thing in common: They want no competition for Jeremy Rose. They cannot insist he ask them to dance, but they can encourage their sons and brothers to keep the lady who so quickly gained his attention otherwise occupied, so he might not have another opportunity to dance with her.”
“You believe a man in line for a dukedom or an earldom will give attention to a lady who doesn’t have a proper lineage?”
“I seriously doubt they will ask for her hand in marriage, but they will ask her to dance. Otherwise, they’ll hear an earful on the way home, and it is, after all, a two-hour journey back to London.”
She saw appreciation light his eyes, and for the first time since she’d suggested they have a ball, she saw the worry lift.
“You little minx.”
Then he laughed joyously loud, and she felt her own jaw begin to ache with the strain of her smile. His laughter died, and he was no longer watching Jeremy’s every step. He was watching her.
“You are diabolically clever,” he said quietly, “manipulating our guests with such ease.”
She feared he was going to reference her manipulation of him in the library, and she didn’t want the conversation to turn to the night that had ruined both their dreams.
“I have known your sister but a short time, but I have come to care for her deeply, and I did not wish her first ball to be as disappointing for her as mine was for me.”
“Your first ball was disappointing?”
She nodded. “I didn’t have near the attention I had hoped.”
“Does any woman?”
“Hopefully tonight Caroline shall.”
“Are you certain everything is all right with Kate?” Louisa asked Jenny as they strolled through the garden. Upon her arrival, Jenny had instructed Louisa to keep her sixth dance free so they could take a turn about the garden and catch up on the latest news. It did not escape her notice that Jenny chose the very dance number that had led to Louisa’s ruin.
Keeping a dance open was much more of a challenge for Jenny than for her. And more of a challenge for Caroline. Louisa could not have been more pleased to see Hawk’s sister dancing every dance, radiant and happy. Even Hawk’s mother had taken a turn about the dance floor with the Duke of Whitson.
“Kate is becoming more and more withdrawn of late. I don’t understand her. Pass up an evening of dancing in order to read a book? It’s not as though the book wouldn’t be there once she returned home.”
“She doesn’t seem to embrace any of this as enthusiastically as you.”
“She never has.”
They walked in silence for several moments, before Jenny said, “Do you ever hear from your brother?”
“No, no, and at present I have no desire to. Perhaps in time I will forgive him, but for now the wounds are still too raw.”
“I refuse to see him as well,” Jenny said.
“Has he tried to call on you?” Louisa asked, surprised by his audacity.
Jenny stepped off the walk and brought Louisa into the shadows with her. “I had been meeting him in secret.”
Louisa stared at her. “When was this?”
“During several of our outings…when you trusted I was going to straighten my hair.”
“I can’t believe you deceived me like that.”
“I know. I feel absolutely awful about it. I enjoyed slipping away and being naughty. And he delivered passion so expertly. I miss it sometimes. But I feel in betraying you, he betrayed my confidence.”
Louisa studied her in the shadows. “Your mother told you about our arrangement?”
“Yes, she did, and I’m all for it.”
“Because you’re feeling guilty?”
“Because it’s what I want.” She squeezed Louisa’s hand. “Just be sure it’s what you want.”
“I have no doubts.”
“You haven’t told Hawkhurst, have you?”
“No, I planned to tell him tomorrow. He has enough to worry about this evening.”
Besides, she feared he might not take the news well, and she wanted one last night, before she told him everything.
Louisa and Jenny were on their way back to the manor when Louisa caught sight of the man standing outside a distant window, gazing into the ballroom. The pale light from the gaslit chandeliers and flickering candles she’d set on various tables around the room washed over him for only a second as he neared the window, then stepped back as though fearful of being discovered.
“I believe I’m going to take another turn about the garden,” she said, as they neared the terrace.
“But the next dance will begin soon,” Jenny said.
“My dance card is blank.”
“Your husband might wish to dance with you.”
He hadn’t indicated he favored another dance, but she supposed there was always hope for it. “I won’t be but a few more moments. Go on, now. I know your dance card isn’t blank.”
She waited until Jenny disappeared inside before cautiously making her way across the lawn, making certain none of the others out strolling took notice of her. Invisible, always invisible.
Even the man gazing into the ballroom didn’t notice her, but she could see his face clearly now that she was closer. He’d not moved completely beyond the light, and she experienced such an ache in her heart watching him.
“Hello, Denby,” she said softly.
He jerked back and spun around, guiltily, the look of a man caught pilfering the silver.
“Your Grace, I apologize for my spying. I simply wanted to look at my flowers, ensure they did the dowager duchess proud.”
She moved closer to the window, peered through pane. “I suspect two blossoms in particular caught your fancy.”
“I assure you I give equal care to all my flowers.”
She turned from the window. “If I may be so bold, Denby, I am well acquainted with the look in a father’s eyes when he is watching his daughter with love.”
“I assure you I have no idea what you’re talking about. If I look upon Miss Caroline as though she were my daughter, it is only because of my long-standing association with this family.”
“Of course, forgive me. I was presumptuous to think otherwise. Still, I do think Miss Caroline looks beautiful tonight.”
“Yes, she does,” he said quietly.
“And the duchess as well.”
“She has always looked beautiful to me.”
He took a step farther back into the shadows. “I would appreciate it if you would keep my rudeness at staring through the window between us. As I said, it was only my flowers I wished to check on.”
“I shan’t tell a soul.” Reaching out, she squeezed his arm. “Enjoy the music, Denby, and the beauty of your flowers.”
She left him there, not turning
back to see if he did indeed leave or if he inched closer to the window to watch for a fleeting moment what he could only observe but never join.
She’d almost reached the terrace doorway when Jeremy stepped outside. “Avoiding me?”
She smiled at him. “Of course not. As hostess, I’ve been rather busy.”
“You found time for my sister.”
“Now I shall find time for you. Shall we go inside and dance?”
“I don’t think I could survive another blistering glare from your husband. Let’s take a turn about the garden.”
She thought it silly suddenly to be nervous. What would Hawk think if he should spy them walking together? She could convince him it was harmless. She was certain of it.
She and Jeremy walked along the lighted path.
“You haven’t told him of your plans, have you?” he asked.
“No.”
“My mother is quite good at bullying people into doing her bidding. Are you certain this is what you want?”
“Yes.”
“Has he been unkind to you then?”
“He has not treated me poorly, but I know he regrets it was me who walked into the library and not Jenny.”
“And you? Do you regret that it was you who walked into the library?”
Rather than answer his question with a lie in order to appease him, she said, “You don’t have to marry me if you don’t want to.”
“Too late. My mother has already bullied me into it. Marrying the daughter of an earl will make me the envy of New York, don’t you know.”
“And it will make your mother very happy.”
“Indeed. And I do want her to be happy.” They walked on in silence for several moments.
“She’s dying,” he said quietly.
Louisa touched his arm, stopping him. “Who?”
“Mother. Jenny and Kate don’t know, but it’s the reason she’s so desperate to see them married.”
“And you as well.”
“Me as well.”
“How long does she have?”
He shook his head. “A year or so. I only told you because I don’t want you to judge her harshly. Her intentions are good—”
“But she could be paving roads to hell.”
A Duke Of Her Own-[Rogues and Roses 01] Page 24