5 The Ghosts in the Audience

by SUE FINEMAN

  She shrugged. “Looks like it was decorated thirty or forty years ago.”

  “It probably was. Joseph was close to ninety when he passed away. I doubt he changed anything after his wife died. If I stay here, I’ll have to make some changes.”

  “If you stay?”

  “I’m not sure what I want to do yet. This is nice, and with some changes, I could be comfortable here, but I don’t want to live here alone.” He took her hand. “Would you like to live here with me?”

  Stunned he’d ask her that now, when they’d only known each other a few days, she didn’t know what to say. But he seemed serious. “It’s beautiful, Steffen, but Chicago is not my home. My family and my job are in River Valley.”

  She didn’t say the shooter was there, too. Whoever he was.

  “I know.” He turned away, but not before she saw the hurt in his eyes.

  “Steffen, I love spending time with you, and I’ve never felt more satisfied in the bedroom, but I can’t live here.” She left the other words unspoken. Although she was a little in love with him, she didn’t love him enough to make that kind of commitment. Besides, he didn’t love her. Did he?

  Snatching time to be together now and then would have to be enough. Steffen was handsome and wealthy, he lived in this incredible condo, and his skills in the bedroom couldn’t be better. He cooked and did the laundry. He’d make some woman a wonderful husband.

  But not her.

  She didn’t want a husband.

  <>

  Steffen took Ginny out for dinner that evening. She looked amazing in a blue sweater with a draped neckline that brought out the blue in her eyes. The black wool skirt was short enough to show off her beautiful legs and long enough to be discreet, and the black heels made her legs look sleek and sexy. Ginny wore her shiny hair loose tonight, and dangling diamond earrings sparkled in the candlelight. Several men turned to get a second look, but they weren’t looking at him. Tonight, Steffen’s beautiful companion was the featured attraction.

  The restaurant was one of the nicer places in the city, on the top floor of a tall building, where they had a magnificent view of the city. He’d brought Sheryl here once, on her birthday. After paying the dinner check that evening, his wallet was empty. Tonight he didn’t care what it cost. Joseph had left him enough money to come here often.

  He ordered a bottle of wine and toasted Ginny. “To my beautiful date and our adventure in Florida.”

  The warmth of her smile settled inside him, chasing away the chill of the Chicago winter. From the look on her face, he knew they’d make love tonight, and they wouldn’t stop with one time. Tonight could be a marathon event, a night to remember.

  The waitress interrupted and he ordered appetizers for them to share. For him, the entire meal was an appetizer for what they’d do when they returned to the condo.

  Steffen glanced at the people coming into the restaurant. Sheryl was hanging all over an older gentleman with a little gray in his hair. She didn’t look their way. Would she recognize him with the beard? He’d seen the man at parties, but couldn’t remember his name. He remembered only that the man was married to a beautiful lady with a French accent.

  “Something wrong?” Ginny asked.

  “Not yet. I see a woman I used to date, someone who wasn’t happy when I told her it was over. Looks like she’s found herself a new man. Ross. His name is Benjamin Ross, and his wife’s name is Claudine, but she’s not with them.”

  Ginny’s eyes sparkled. “He probably told her he’s working late at the office.”

  “On a Saturday evening?”

  She shrugged. “Maybe she has a lover.”

  Steffen felt her knee touch his. “Maybe she has.”

  “I don’t care about anyone else, Steffen. Not tonight. Tonight we’re all that matters.”

  He was still gazing into her eyes when he heard Sheryl’s voice. “Steffen, what are you doing with that awful beard? And I thought you hated this restaurant.”

  “I hate the prices.” He introduced the women.

  Sheryl cocked her head and stared at Ginny. “You’re the woman from Ohio?”

  “That’s me,” said Ginny. “My brother owns a farm there. They grow corn. Do you like corn?”

  “Not especially. And I’m not fond of farmers.”

  “Ah, you’re a city girl.” Ginny said it as if it was a dirty word.

  Steffen leaned back and listened to the undertones of the women’s conversation. He’d had women come on to him since he started doing shows, but he’d never had two women sniping at each other over him.

  When he’d had enough, Steffen said, “Sheryl, Benjamin is waiting for you.”

  Sheryl took one last look at Ginny, lifted her chin, and walked away.

  “Well, that was interesting,” said Ginny. “She wants you back. Does she know about your grandfather’s estate?”

  “I assume so. She called me at the condo. Carson told her where to find me.”

  The waitress brought the appetizers, and while they sampled the stuffed mushrooms, Ginny said, “Sheryl is beautiful.”

  “Not as beautiful as you, and I’m not interested in her.”

  They sat quietly for a few minutes, sipping wine and gazing out the window at the city lights. He reached over and put his hand over hers, wanting to say so much, but holding back. Maybe they could have a serious talk on the beach. He didn’t especially want to move from Chicago, but he couldn’t lose Ginny. Would she live with him if he moved to River Valley?

  Maybe she’d change her mind about living with him in Chicago. She wouldn’t have to work. The income from Joseph’s investments would support them comfortably.

  Sheryl and Benjamin sat on the other side of the room, and she kept glancing his way. He’d grown the beard as a disguise, but it didn’t fool her, and it wouldn’t fool anyone else. Might as well shave it off.

  Ginny glanced over. “Why is she staring at you?”

  “She’s jealous. Watch this.” Staring at the menu on the table beside Sheryl’s plate, he used his mind to lift it and hold it beside her face, blocking her view. Her companion came out of his chair, threw down his napkin, and strode toward the door. Sheryl grabbed her purse and followed him.

  Ginny muttered, “Show off! I thought you didn’t want anyone to recognize you.”

  Steffen glanced around the room and saw people staring at him, including the waiters. He ignored them and gave his full attention to his beautiful dinner companion, the only one who didn’t seem impressed by his party tricks. Maybe she didn’t like trained monkeys.

  Neither of them talked about his vision of the wall of pictures, as if by ignoring the problem it would cease to exist. Steffen was putting his life at risk just by having dinner with her in a public place. But they weren’t in Ohio. They were in Chicago, and he intended to make passionate love to this woman tonight.

  <>

  Late Saturday evening, Roland lay in bed with Phoebe in his arms. He had to tell her, and he couldn’t wait any longer. “Phoebe, I have something to tell you, and I hope you can forgive me.”

  She stiffened. “You don’t want me living here with you?”

  “Of course I do, but you may not want to stay with me when you hear what I’ve done.”

  “Just tell me, Roland. I don’t want any secrets between us.”

  “I don’t either, which is why I’m telling you. I knew you before you lost your memory, before we met in the bar that night. I knew who you were all along.”

  She pulled back and sat up. Moonlight streaked through the window, and he could see the disbelief on her face. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Because I was being selfish. We met in the library and I asked you to go out to dinner with me. Do you remember?”

  She cocked her head and seemed to study his face. “Yes. The women I worked with laughed, and I was so embarrassed.”

  “So was I. I was also disappointed, because you said no.”

  “I’m sorry that happened, bu
t I don’t understand why you didn’t tell me. All that time we were together, you could have told me, Roland.”

  “I wanted to, but you were so scared, and I didn’t want to upset you. You were recalling the past, and I thought you’d remember what happened in the library on your own. Then we got word that your mother was gravely ill, and I knew it was the wrong time to tell you.”

  “And then she died, and you still didn’t tell me.”

  “I’m telling you now, darling. I love you, Phoebe, and I didn’t want to risk losing you. Are you angry with me?”

  “I don’t know, Roland. I thought… I thought you were the one person in the world I could trust.”

  “You can trust me, sweetheart. I won’t ever keep any secrets from you again. I promise. Please don’t leave me. I love you and I need you.”

  She got out of bed and pulled on her robe. Hugging her arms, she walked to the bedroom door. Roland knew he’d surprised her, but he didn’t want her to hear about the incident in the library from someone else.

  Phoebe left the room and when she didn’t return, he went looking for her. He found her in the living room, sitting in the dark and sobbing as if her heart was breaking. He felt like a heartless jerk. He dropped to his knees in front of her and took her hands. “Phoebe, my darling, I’m so sorry. I never meant to upset you.”

  “You lied to me. You said my name was Jane.”

  “What if I’d told you who you were that night? Would it have changed anything? You didn’t remember anything, sweetheart.”

  Jane wiped her face with her sleeve. “But my mother was so sick, and—”

  “I didn’t know that, and you didn’t know it either. You didn’t know anything.”

  “But you said I belonged with you.”

  “What was I supposed to do, leave you sitting alone and scared in the bar?” Roland pushed himself to his feet and then sat beside her. “You were so frightened. I could have taken you to a hospital, but you wanted to leave the city. I didn’t know what had scared you or why you’d lost your memory or why you wanted to leave River Valley. I just knew I couldn’t leave you sitting at the bar with that look of fear and vulnerability in your eyes. Another man might have taken advantage of you.”

  If the wrong man had found her, Roland might have lost her for good that night. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you who you were right then, but I’m not sorry I took care of you. I’m not sorry you came with me. And I’m not sorry I love you.”

  She sniffled a couple times and wiped her face on the sleeve of her robe. The tears were gone, but she didn’t say anything.

  Surely she knew he wouldn’t do anything to harm her.

  Did she love him enough to give him the benefit of the doubt?

  <>

  Ginny was still awake when her cell phone rang. Careful not to wake Steffen, she quietly took the phone into the other room before answering, “Kane.”

  “Ginny, he lied to me.”

  “Phoebe? What’s wrong?” She never called this late, and she sounded so upset.

  “Roland lied to me. He knew who I was all along, but he told me my name was Jane.”

  “Did he tell you himself, or—”

  “Yes, he told me himself, but… You know how much I hate being lied to.”

  “Nobody likes being lied to, Phoebe. Did he tell you why he lied?”

  “Well, yes, but…” She sighed. “I don’t know what to do. He says he loves me, but I don’t know whether to believe him or not. What should I do, Ginny? I don’t know anything about men or relationships. I’m afraid he’ll lie to me again.”

  “Do you love him?”

  “I thought I did, but now I don’t know.”

  “I know what you mean. When I’m with Steffen, it’s magic, and when we’re apart, I miss him like crazy, but I’m not sure it’s the kind of love that’ll last.”

  Ginny walked down to the family room while they talked. “Are you still living with Roland?”

  “I was, but after he told me, I moved back home. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to be alone, and except for the lie, he’s so good to me. But we haven’t… I mean…”

  “You haven’t made love?”

  “No. He said he wanted to wait until my memory returned completely, but maybe that’s just an excuse.”

  “Maybe. And maybe Roland was afraid you’d leave him when you learned he’d lied. Do you remember everything now?”

  “I think so, but every day I remember other things, other people. My job in the library. My father’s stupid jokes and my mother’s teasing.” She sobbed. “I miss them so much.”

  “Of course you do. I wish I was there, but I’m in Chicago with Steffen.”

  “And it’s late. I didn’t mean to interrupt something.”

  “You didn’t. We’re going to Florida for a few days. I’ll call you as soon as I get back home. In the meantime, you can always call me on my cell phone.”

  “Okay.”

  “Phoebe, give yourself time to grieve for your mother before you make any major life decisions.”

  “I will, but what should I do about Roland?”

  “No matter how upset you are right now, don’t cut yourself off from him. He’s a good man and I know he loves you. When you’ve both calmed down, talk it out. And don’t be shy about seducing him when the time is right.”

  “How will I know?”

  “You’ll know,” Ginny said gently.

  Ginny didn’t have a problem deciding when to have sex. Loving a man was a different issue altogether. She thought she was in love in college, then discovered he was dating other girls. Then there was George, an attorney with political ambitions. He was a great guy, but he wanted her to quit her job, marry him, and give him a bunch of kids. She thought she loved him, but she couldn’t be what he wanted her to be. She wasn’t her mother, and she didn’t want to live her mother’s life.

  She wandered back to the bedroom, where Steffen slept restlessly. A wave of tenderness swept through her. He’d asked her to move in with him, but he’d never mentioned love. The condo was beautiful, and it could be turned into a comfortable home, but she couldn’t give up her life in River Valley. She’d worked so hard to build a career, and what about her family? As irritating as her brothers sometimes were, she loved being close enough to see them. Living here in this luxury condo with Steffen would be wonderful, but she’d miss her family and grow to resent him for taking her away from them.

  She could always apply for a job with the Chicago police, but she didn’t know Chicago. It wouldn’t be the same as living and working in the city she knew so well. The city she’d grown up in. The city where her father and grandfathers had served on the police force.

  Someday she wanted to be chief of police, like Dad. He’d come up through the ranks, and she could do it, too. In a few years, the city would be ready for a female chief. People respected Donovan Kane. They’d learn to respect her, too.

  She put the phone back on the charger beside the bed and crawled in beside Steffen. He rolled toward her and threw his arm over her. She snuggled in, and they both slept.

  <>

  After Roland took Phoebe to her mother’s home, he felt lost. She said she needed some time alone, and he understood. They’d been together constantly for the past three weeks or so, and her emotions were so messed up, she didn’t know what she wanted. Although she didn’t seem as upset when he left her, he worried about leaving her alone in the big house where her mother died just days ago.

  Maybe he shouldn’t have told her. Yet he knew he’d done the right thing. If he hadn’t told her, someone else would have, and she wouldn’t just be upset. She’d hate him for not telling her.

  Phoebe said she’d call tomorrow, but he wondered if she would. Could she forgive him for deceiving her? Would she understand why he’d lied?

  His home felt empty without her. What was the sense in updating the house if he had no one to share it with? No one to talk with. No one to hold and kiss.


  No one to love.

  <>

  Steffen woke early, his head filled with visions of the shooter. He walked into the bathroom and closed the door so he wouldn’t wake Ginny. He saw the man walk down the street in River Valley – Livingston Avenue, the street sign said. The man looked down or turned toward a big house with a round room on the corner. Steffen still couldn’t see his face, but he wore faded jeans, athletic shoes, and a tan down jacket. No gloves. Enough skin showed to know the shooter was a light-skinned male, a big man with meaty hands and dark hair on his fingers.

  “Steffen, come back to bed,” Ginny called.

  He brushed his teeth, then crawled in bed beside her and wrapped his body around hers. Kissing her shoulder, his hand stroking her beautiful breasts, he felt himself grow long and thick and hard. A minute later, he pushed her legs apart with his knee, then slid inside her. He had condoms, but he didn’t want to use one this time. He wanted to feel every sweet sensation.

  She froze. “Steffen, you didn’t use a condom.”

  “It’s too late now, honey.” He moved a little, bringing a moan from her, and then brought them both to a mind-blowing climax.

  “I could do this every morning for the rest of my life,” he murmured. “What about you?”

  “Steffen… If you’re asking me to stay…” She sat up. “I can’t.”

  Ginny walked into the bathroom, leaving him disappointed, but not surprised. She’d told him yesterday she couldn’t move to Chicago. If he wanted a long-term relationship with this woman, he’d have to move to River Valley, Ohio. But he couldn’t move anywhere until the police there figured out who shot him.

  He didn’t want to play target again.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Sunday morning after breakfast, with the sun shining brightly, Ginny and Steffen walked along the lake shore holding hands. Children bundled up in their coats and snow pants played on the beach while parents watched nearby. Ginny pointed and laughed at one little tyke who tried to run and fell over. “He looks like the Pillsbury Doughboy. Poor little guy can barely move with all those clothes on.”

  “Are you sure you don’t want a couple of those for yourself?” Steffen asked.