“No, ma’am, not at all. As a matter of fact, the Hyssops are a model family. They’re perfect, not one fault.”
Elizabeth stood speechless, shocked at the high praise. “I’m sorry, sir, but I’m talking about the Hyssops next door. We’ve gotten multiple complaints about them.”
Mr. Zimmer chuckled deviously. “I know who you meant. I can’t believe people actually complained about them, lovely people, quiet as church mice. What a shame.”
Elizabeth shook her head, clearly surprised. “Thank you for your time, sir.” She slowly walked away. Seth and his mother sit stunned.
Mr. Zimmer closed the door and smirked as he walked back into the living room. He sat his lazy ass back on the couch.
His wife and Seth stared at him.
“What the hell are you idiots staring at?” Mr. Zimmer asked angrily.
“Seth and I are staring at the world’s biggest bullshitter.”
A moment of silence followed.
“What the Christ do you mean by that?”
Seth shook his head in disappointment. “Why the hell are you defending these assholes for, Dad? Huh?”
Mr. Zimmer got up again. “I can say whatever the hell I want. You two stupid shitheads aren’t going to tell me who to defend or what to say!”
Seth’s mother turned and looked at Seth. “This is why he’s defending them—he’s the leader of the assholes!”
Like a child Mr. Zimmer stomped to the stairs to his room.
CHAPTER 3
Seth celebrated New Year’s Eve with Keri and her family.
“Happy 2007!” Carol, Keri’s mother, shouted.
“Happy New Year!” Marlon yelled as he passed around glasses of champagne.
“So, Keri,” Carol’s friend Angie said, “what do you want to do with your life after high school?”
“I’m not 100 percent sure just yet. Besides, I still have another two years to think about it.”
Angie sipped her champagne. “You don’t even have some idea? Are you going to further your education and become something, or waitress your whole life or hope to God you marry into a rich family?”
Carol put down her empty glass, reached for the champagne bottle and took a gulp. “My daughter has a few ideas. They are great and both require further education.”
“Great. May I ask what they are?”
Keri slowly swallowed her champagne. “I’m thinking either a chef or an early childhood educator.”
“Those are wonderful, Keri. I’m sure you’ll succeed in whatever you choose.” Angie turned to Seth. “How about you? What are your plans?”
All eyes were now on Seth. An extremely uncomfortable, heavy feeling hit him. He chugged his champagne, hoping the alcohol would ease some of the pressure.
“I really enjoy writing and filmmaking, so I’d like to pursue something in that field.”
All eyes remained on Seth. It got eerily quiet for a moment. He sank deeper into the couch as this heavy feeling grew more intense.
Carol’s abrupt laughter filled the room. “Are you still on that crap, Seth? Oh, good luck!”
Angie held her hand up to Carol’s mouth to shut her up. “That’s very ambitious, Seth. I like the fact you chose a career path that’s competitive and entertaining. If it’s something you really enjoy”—Angie turned to Carol—“don’t let anyone tell you any different.”
Carol rolled her eyes. “Please,” she muttered.
Angie finished her champagne. “Carol, what do you have against Seth?”
Carol’s face grew red from embarrassment, as now all eyes were on her. She took a moment. “Nothing, really. Nothing personal, anyway. I like Seth. I just don’t like the career path he wants to follow.”
Angie asked, “But why? Do you feel as though he’s only setting himself up for failure, and if he fails, you’re afraid he’s going to suck your daughter into the tenth level of hell with him?”
“Yes!” Carol shouted. “Exactly!”
Angie laughed, which clearly irritated Carol. “What? What the hell’s so funny?”
Angie brought her laughter to a soft simmer. “Dan Aykroyd, James Cameron and David Cronenberg.”
Carol was confused. “What about them?”
Angie was silent for a moment. “What do they all have in common?”
“They’re all in the film industry.”
“Correct, but what else?”
Carol became more annoyed by the minute. She scratched her head. “Goddamn it, Angie. I don’t know. What?”
Angie smiled.
“Dan Aykroyd was born in Ottowa, James Cameron was born in Kapuskasing and David Cronenberg was born in Toronto.”
Carol gave Angie a stern look. “What the hell’s your point?”
“My point is these three men were practically born in our backyard. And they’re now household names, very successful men. If they can make it in that industry, so can Seth.”
Around three a.m. the party started winding down. Angie and her husband were the last to leave.
Carol gently shut the door and then turned to Seth, who was in the kitchen with Keri and Marlon. “All right, Seth. Gather your crap. You’re out of here!”
“What, why? He’s spending the night, Mom!”
Marlon took a sip of strong black coffee.
“Where did this drastic change in attitude come from?” Said Marlon.
Carol snapped, “I’ve never been so humiliated in my life!”
Seth thought for a moment. “I humiliated you?”
Carol stomped into the kitchen, grabbed a wine glass from the cupboard and filled it with boxed wine.
“You want to know what I think? I think the two of you planned this whole thing ahead of time!” Carol gulped her wine.
“That’s right, Carol. Angie, who I’ve never met until tonight, formed an alliance with me against you.”
“Ah-ha! So you admit it!” Carol threw her glass on the floor and lunged at Seth.
Marlon quickly jumped between them. “Seth admits nothing, Carol! There’s nothing to admit. Seth was being sarcastic.”
“Take your goddamn hands off me, Marlon! Why are you protecting him?”
“You’ve had too much to drink.” Marlon turned to Seth and Keri and signalled them to go upstairs.
They went up to Keri’s bedroom. She turns on her computer and put on soft background music.
Seth took a seat on Keri’s bed and rubbed the back of his neck. “That wasn’t the way I planned to start off the New Year.”
Keri swivelled around in her chair. “You know how she is when she’s been drinking.”
“I don’t think alcohol has anything to do with it.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, the first time we all had the career discussion, your mom acted the same way.”
Keri shrugged. “I don’t know what to tell you, babe.”
All went quiet for a moment. Seth cleared his throat. “What do you think?”
“About what?”
“My career decision?”
Keri thought seriously about the question. “I think, in all honesty, if opportunity knocks, you should definitely take it. But the chances of that actually happening to you is probably one in a billion.”
Seth sat in shock, not knowing what to say.
“I’m not saying it won’t happen, Seth, but until it does, you might want to consider a career more, realistic and down to earth.”
Seth’s mouth dropped. He sat there stunned. After a couple of seconds he shook his head. “She’s gotten to you, hasn’t she?”
Keri shuffled her chair across the floor to her bed and put her hands on Seth’s leg. “Why don’t we change the subject, huh? There’s really no reason for us to argue over something so small and unimportant.” She swiftly mo
ved her hands from Seth’s knees, unbuckled his belt and unzipped his fly.
“Now? Really, Keri. We’re going to get caught.”
Keri smiled. “Maybe so, but that’s all part of the thrill.”
CHAPTER 4
On January 12, Mr. Palmer, the multimedia teacher, announced a new project. Seth desperately hoped this would be another filmmaking project—the last three were filmmaking, and the theme was “Lego-mation.” Seth excelled at them all.
“All right, class, today is project day. I’ve decided, since so many of you mostly enjoy the filmmaking aspect of the course, that this project will be filmmaking.”
Seth held out his hand to his friend and filmmaking partner, Brody—they high-fived one another.
“And as usual, you have until the end of class to submit your film proposals.”
Seth and Brody took a work station. Brody reached into his bag and pulled out pencil and paper.
“All right, Seth—what will our next epic production be? Anything in mind?”
Seth smiled at Brody. “Picture it. Belfast, Ireland, 1909. Harland and Wolff Shipyard, March 31. Three thousand men start construction on the world’s largest and most luxurious ship ever built.”
Brody looked at Seth somewhat unenthused. “Really, the Titanic, again? We already made a Titanic film, using Legos, remember?”
Without missing a beat, Seth defended the idea. “That’s right, we did make a Titanic film, in Lego. This will be different.”
“Oh, really? How so? Is the ship not going to sink? Or maybe it does sink, but the Carpathia gets there just in time.”
“I’m not talking about changing the facts, you moron. I’m talking about our approach. I want to approach this film like no other filmmaker has before. No, I want something fresh, new and original! I not only want people to say, ‘This film is the best we’ve ever seen,’ I want people to be there and experience it.”
Brody sat quietly. “That does sound great, but how do we go about doing that?”
Seth reached into his bag and pulled out a 10-page film treatment. He handed it to Brody.
Brody took the treatment and began reading it. After five or so minutes, he gathered the papers, exhaled and then rubbed his eyes. Seth anxiously waited for Brody to say something.
“Well, I’ve got to say, I don’t like it.”
“What! Why not?”
“Because I love it! It’s too good!”
Seth sighed in relief.
Brody handed him the treatment. “Let’s do it.”
Seth took the treatment from Brody and brought it over to Mr. Palmer. “Here, Mr. P., signed, sealed and delivered.”
Seth returned to Brody.
After ten minutes Mr. Palmer approaches the boys.
“So, Seth.” Mr. Palmer held up the treatment. “You wrote this?”
“Yes, sir!”
Mr. Palmer smiled. “Well, I’ve got to tell you—it’s quite amazing. I’m flabbergasted. I just have one question though. How are you going to film this?”
Seth sat back and remained silent for a moment. “Quite simply, we don’t use actors.”
Mr. Palmer sat beside them. “What do you mean?”
Brody scratches his head. “Yeah, Seth, what do you mean?”
“I’m proposing we build miniature sets.”
Palmer and Brody shared a look.
“And the ship and water effects?” Brody asked.
“We build two six foot ships, one for wide shots and close ups, and the other for sinking.”
Palmer nodded with amazement. “So, essentially, what you’re going to have is a silent film with empty sets?”
Seth said, “No, sir. What we’re going to have is beautifully decorated and lit sets with carefully and appropriately edited dialogue from James Cameron’s Titanic.”
Palmer placed the treatment on the desk and stood. “Well, you’ve answered my questions, and you also seem confident and know what you’re doing. You’ve got my approval.”
He headed back to his desk but suddenly stopped and turned around again. “Seth, do you have any idea how long it’s going to take?”
Seth shook his head. “Not a single clue.”
Palmer nodded. “Tell you what, boys. If this film is going to be as grand as it appears on paper, I’ll give you the rest of the school year to complete it. Which means the expectations for this film are extremely high. Since you have a lot to do, I’ll try to get you permission to use dialogue from James Cameron’s Titanic.”
Over the next week, Seth spent many hours studying the Titanic, getting to know every last inch and curve, her interior and exterior, even going as far as knowing where each and every rivet was placed. He spent time online studying original Harland and Wolff blueprints. Then, over the next three months, it took a team of 26 students, including Seth and Brody, to create the two six foot ships needed and all interior sets and props. On April 13, after three long months and countless man-hours, all the sets and props were complete, including the two ships.
After class ended that day, Seth and Vance met as usual at the bus stop.
“No Keri today?”
“No, she must not have been feeling well,” Seth said.
“So, tell me, Mr. Director, how’s your film coming along?”
Seth’s face lit up. “It’s coming along perfectly. We just finished construction of the sets, ships and props today. The only two things remaining to do is fill up the tank in the horticulture room and shoot the film.”
“Sounds great, man! Glad to see all your hard work is finally ready to go in front of the cameras.”
When Seth got home, he immediately went up to his bedroom and collapsed on his bed. After a couple of minutes he called Keri. “Hi. I missed you at school today. You feeling okay?”
Keri said nothing for a moment. “I was feeling, sick earlier, but I’m fine now. And your day?”
“I had a great day! We finished building the props, sets and the two ships for the film, and—”
Keri cleared her throat. “You know what, Seth? I’m suddenly not feeling well again. I think I should go.”
“Uh, okay, we still on for tomorrow?”
After another few moments of silence, she asked, “What’s happening tomorrow?”
“I thought I was coming over.”
“Oh. Oh yeah, sure. Whatever.”
“I’ll see you then. I—” Keri quickly hung up, and Seth sighed heavily.
*
The next day Keri went on a rant.
“Keri, calm down! Please, tell me what’s the matter.”
“Filmmaking, Mom! Filmmaking is all Seth talks about. Filmmaking this, Spielberg that! I’m getting sick and tired of hearing it!”
Carol took a big gulp of wine. “What did I tell you, Keri? The moment he said he wanted to be a filmmaker, I knew he was no goddamned good. He’s nothing but a helpless and hopeless dreamer with absolutely no prospects.” Carol took another gulp.
“What do I do, Mom? Help me.”
Carol smiled deviously. “You dump him, sweetheart. You drop him quick and never look back.”
Keri’s jaw dropped. “What? Just like that?”
“Sure, why the hell not?”
“I don’t think I could bring myself to do that.”
Carol finished her wine and quickly poured another glass. “Why not?”
“Well, because Seth is sweet, charming, funny and sensitive.”
Carol rolled her eyes. “Tough shit, honey. Don’t worry about his feelings. You’re more important in this scenario.”
“I don’t know. It would destroy him, plus, we’d still see each other at school. That wouldn’t only be uncomfortable for Seth but for me as well.”
Carol sipped her wine as she considered the situation. “Okay, put Seth on a tw
o-year plan.”
Keri was confused for a moment. “What the hell are you talking about, Mom?”
“You finish school in two years, right? So to avoid the discomfort of running into each other, keep him around for another two years. Until then, you’re a saleswoman. Your job is to sell Seth the illusion you’re still a happy, loving couple. Lie, cheat, play dirty—just have a ball!”
Hours later, Keri and Seth were in the living room watching TV. Carol was on the computer, when she suddenly swivelled her chair around and looked at Seth.
“So, Seth, I hear your movie is the buzz around school?”
Seth looked over at Carol. “Yeah, I guess it is, sure.”
“Why is that? Why is your movie the talk of the school? It’s not like it’s a professional film or anything. And you are the furthest thing from a real filmmaker.”
Seth tried to answer as best as he could without going off the deep end. “Well, if I had to guess, I think it’s because of how much work is going into it—all the students needed to work on it and the size of the sets.”
Unimpressed, Carol smirked. “Tell me about it, Mr. Spielberg. What all went into it?”
Seth hyperventilated, his face blood red, his hands turning into rock-hard fists. He tried to keep calm and collected and took a deep breath. “I had to design the two ships and figure out appropriate building materials. I had to design all the interior sets, plus co-design the ships electrical system and electrical split system.”
Carol snickered. “Electrical system? Why in the hell does a stupid cardboard ship need an electrical system?”
Seth continued taking deep breaths. “It needs an electrical system to light up the sets, to show off the detail and to add more realism to the film.”
Carol scratched her head. “What the hell is an ‘electrical split system’?”
“The electrical split system is a small series of copper wires built into one ship, and is hooked up to a D battery. The purpose of the system is that, when the switch is flicked, the ship will begin splitting in half on cue.”
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