by June Francis
‘Thanks, Beth. You can imagine what I said to him.’
‘Aye, but you do not have to repeat it,’ she said with a wry smile, placing a hand on his shoulder. ‘At least you are not to blame.’
Gawain covered her hand with his a moment before withdrawing it and changed the subject. ‘Have you had any visitors?’
‘Aye, but none for you to worry about.’ She hesitated. ‘I did wonder, when you were away so long, whether you had been to see your wife and children.’
He shook his head.
After a few moments, she left the parlour, wondering why she had felt she must remind him that he was married. Perhaps because there was a certain intimacy in them staying in this much smaller house without his aunt to chaperon her and her tending to his needs.
Gawain gazed into the flames, thinking about his feelings for Beth, and decided he had to tell her the truth. It was possible that by doing so he would give her reason to believe he was untrustworthy, but he felt he could not continue living a lie.
The door opened and Beth entered, carrying a tray. She set his supper down on a small table close to the settle. ‘I brought you wine as the ale seems to have already run out. Most likely Jane did not order enough. I will see that she does not make the same mistake on the morrow.’
‘You have not brought a cup for yourself?’ asked Gawain.
‘No, I had a cup earlier and too much red wine can bring on a megrim.’
‘But you will sit down,’ said Gawain firmly. ‘There is something I have to tell you about Mary and the children.’
Beth gazed across at him and her heart gave a peculiar leap. She did not know whether after all she was ready to hear what he had to say about his wife. Knowing so little about her and not having seen her, she was a shadowy figure and, if she were honest, Beth preferred her that way. ‘Do you not think it best if you eat your supper first before it gets cold?’ she said rapidly.
‘No, I have to get this off my chest now,’ said Gawain and took a gulp of wine. ‘I have not been honest with you, Beth.’ He hesitated.
Her heart began to thud. ‘Go on,’ she said breathlessly, holding his gaze steady.
‘She and the children are not staying with her aunt. I lied about that so people would not suspect the truth. She has left me for another man,’ he growled.
‘I—I see,’ said Beth carefully, shocked beyond belief. How could Mary possibly prefer another man to him? ‘Who—who is this man?’ she added, twisting her fingers together.
‘I do not know his name. On the day I returned to Raventon Hall with you, I found a message from her.’ He took another gulp of wine. ‘She says he is her true husband because she went through a form of marriage with him before she married me.’
‘What!’ Beth’s brown eyes mirrored her incredulity. ‘Are you saying that she married you bigamously?’
He lifted his head and smiled wryly. ‘Now that was not a word she used. Maybe she should have done. If I could find the pair of them and get them to agree to attend a court of law, then my marriage could hopefully be annulled.’
Beth’s spirits began to soar. ‘Was their marriage in front of a priest?’
‘No, and there is the difficulty. Apparently she and her lover were very young when they plighted their troth simply before God.’
Beth’s heart sank. ‘I have heard of such matches being made in the past being accepted as binding, but are they still legal?’
‘That I do not know. I have spoken of this only to my aunt. She realised that something was very wrong when Mary left with the children without saying where she was going. I searched for them, of course, but then I had to go to France without having found them. I told my aunt of the contents of the missive Mary had sent me. I wish now that I had kept my own counsel because she spoke of it to Father Hugh.’
‘Father Hugh!’ exclaimed Beth. ‘So that is what she meant at the wedding and what he was hinting at when he spoke of you to me!’
‘What did he say?’ demanded Gawain.
Beth flushed. ‘It does not matter right now. Carry on with your story.’
‘Of course it matters!’ he said harshly. ‘Did he hint that I was less of a man because I couldn’t hold on to my wife and that I was not fit to find a husband for you?’
‘No!’ cried Beth. ‘I deem he believed you had told me about your wife’s missive and that you had hinted that you could marry me yourself!’
Gawain stared at her and there was an expression his eyes that caused the colour in her cheeks to deepen. ‘Why do you think he thought that?’ he asked softly.
‘He mentioned watching us dance together,’ she replied huskily.
Gawain nodded. ‘That would do it,’ he murmured.
Beth did not catch what he said and burst out. ‘It is beyond my comprehension that your wife should behave so badly towards you. She must be crazed to leave someone so considerate and responsible towards others as yourself!’
‘She says she loves him,’ said Gawain soberly.
‘Even so, what she has done is cruel! What reason has she given to your daughters for leaving you? Has she told lies about you? It is wicked of her to take them from you,’ said Beth vehemently.
Gawain’s eyes darkened. ‘I admit I am furious with her for removing them from my protection. I fear she might have told them that I no longer want them or even that I am not their true father.’
‘What of her father?’ Beth asked. ‘Am I to presume he knew naught of these other vows she took?’
‘According to Mary her father did know, but he disregarded them as did the parents of her lover. I can only believe that was because Mary’s father was in desperate financial straits and he knew if he accepted my offer then he’d not have to worry about money.’
‘But obviously he must have also considered you a better choice of husband for his daughter than this other man,’ said Beth firmly.
Gawain’s expression lightened. ‘Carry on like this, Beth, and you’ll have me believing that I am the better man and Mary has committed a great error.’
Beth said scornfully, ‘Of course you are the better man, otherwise this other husband would not have given her up so easily to you in the first place. I have no doubt you treated her well, so what was the catalyst that caused her to leave you when she did and go to him?’
‘His wife died shortly before Mary’s father, so no doubt you can imagine the effect that had on both of them as apparently they had been seeing each other for a while. She even hinted that Tabitha and even my son who died might not be mine.’
Beth was taken aback by his mention of a son and she was conscious of the pain in his eyes and voice. She reached for his cup of wine. ‘May I?’ she asked.
‘Please do.’
‘I had no idea you’d lost a son.’ Beth swallowed a mouthful of wine and then said fiercely, ‘I hate her for causing you such suffering.’
‘I would not have her back if she came crawling. The children are another matter,’ he said, reaching for his knife and cutting up his meat. ‘I intend on finding them and bringing them home. Of course, it will cause a scandal if the truth were to get out.’
‘You want Tabitha even though she might not be yours?’
‘Aye! In my heart she is still my daughter.’
Beth thought it was noble and generous of him to feel like that. She felt certain there were many men who would not. ‘But you still have to find them.’
He nodded, his expression was suddenly bleak. ‘So much else has happened to prevent it.’
‘You mean that your time has been taken up due to your involvement in my affairs,’ said Beth quietly. ‘A fact that I have not appreciated enough in the circumstances. So what are you going to do now?’
He put down his knife and reached out a hand to her. ‘I have strong feelings for you, Beth, and I sense you feel the same towards me, too. I admire your courage and intelligence and want to go on protecting you. I certainly don’t want you marrying anyone else other than me. As it
is you can see the tangle my life is in. I do not know if the church will accept Mary’s first marriage as binding. They might not do so. I did intend to speak to Cardinal Wolsey about it today, but now it will have to wait.’
Beth understood what he was saying perfectly and had noticed that he did not mention the word love when he spoke of his feeling towards her, but then she did not know if what she felt towards him was love or simply lust and a great deal of liking for the man he appeared to be. She placed her hand in his and said, ‘Thank you for being honest with me. Father Hugh obviously saw more than either of us were aware of that day of the wedding.’
She moved closer to him and placed an arm about his neck and drew his head down to meet hers. She kissed him, thinking royalty and the nobility found no shame in begetting bastards. She would like to bear Gawain a son for both of them even if they could not marry. For a moment Beth thought seducing him was going to be easy because he returned her kiss with passion and his hands roamed her body. When she had to break off the kiss to draw breath, he enveloped her in a bear hug and covered her face with kisses before claiming her mouth once more.
Then suddenly he pushed her away. ‘This will not do, Beth,’ he said, breathing heavily. ‘You must do as I say and go up to your bedchamber and lock yourself in,’ he ordered.
‘Lock myself in! Surely you jest?’ said Beth, startled.
He shook his head. ‘I might yet be tempted to come to you in the dark watches of the night and lie with you.’
‘Then do!’ she cried, clutching his sleeve. ‘Can you not see how much I long for you to claim me for your own? Ever since I saw you half-naked wrestling in France, I have lusted after you.’
The silence that followed felt so charged with emotional tension that she wondered if she had been too honest with him.
‘I am shocked, Beth,’ said Gawain, trying to keep the smile out of his voice.
‘I thought you might be,’ she said, sighing.
‘I am also flattered. I wish I had known then that is how you felt. It would have done my self-esteem no end of good, but really I am glad I didn’t know because …’ He paused.
‘You deem we might have become lovers,’ she said daringly.
He did not answer, only saying, ‘I spoke to you of how you tempted me even in those first few days. If I had known for certain you wanted me, as well, it would have weakened my resolve to keep my promise to your father,’ said Gawain, rifling his dark hair with a trembling hand. ‘As it is, I must think seriously if he would consider me the right husband for you if my marriage was to be annulled.’
‘Forget your promise to him!’ said Beth. ‘Would you like to know how you have haunted my dreams? You have such a manly chest that, in my imaginings, I would run my hands over it and press my lips to your skin and feel your lips on mine and—’ She swallowed. ‘I could go no further because that is beyond my—my—’
‘Experience,’ finished Gawain hoarsely as a vision of Beth’s bare breasts rose before him. ‘You must not say such things to me, love.’
Love! He had called her love! Did that mean he not only desired her, but loved her? ‘I know,’ she said meekly, her spirits soaring. ‘But a writer needs to hone their skill with words, as well as their imagination. Yet, I would put into action those desires I long to have fulfilled,’ she added, running a hand over his shirt front. ‘I would have us make love.’
‘Beth, stop it!’ He could not help smiling.
Her lips twitched. ‘Why must I stop it if dreams are all I am to have where you are concerned right now?’
‘Hush!’ He placed a hand over her mouth and drew her close to him. ‘You will wake Jane and—’
‘Once before you silenced me by kissing me,’ she said in a muffled voice between his fingers. ‘Do so now?’
‘If I kiss you, will you then go to bed?’ asked Gawain.
‘If it is a kiss that is worthy of carrying into my dreams,’ said Beth.
He removed his hand and gazed down at her. There was that in her eyes that caused the breath to catch in his throat, whilst he was roused to such a painful intensity that he knew that only by either letting her go or making love to her would it be eased. Why should he not possess her when she was offering herself to him? He swung her up into his arms and, with his mouth on hers, carried her out of the parlour. She breathed directions to her bedchamber into his ear. They reached the door, only to stop at the sound of snoring within. It was like a dash of cold water in his face and brought him to his senses.
‘I don’t believe it,’ whispered Beth. ‘Jane must have been waiting for me to come to bed and has fallen asleep. We will have to go to your bedchamber.’
‘No, Beth,’ said Gawain quietly, placing her feet on the floor.
She looked up at him with disappointment in her eyes. ‘Why not?’
‘You know why.’ He held her hand against his chest. ‘Dream well, Beth, and I will see you in the morning.’
‘You are leaving me to dream alone?’ There was a tremor in her voice.
‘I must! Your father trusted me to do what was right by you.’ He released her with difficulty and walked away.
Chapter Nine
Beth had slept fitfully that night after spending hours awake, thinking of what had taken place between her and Gawain. If only it were possible for his marriage to be annulled. As it was, for now she must adopt a cheerful attitude as she did not wish him to see her downhearted. After all, they had come to London to enjoy themselves at Bartholomew Fair.
Gawain looked up from the small single sheet of paper he was reading as Beth entered the parlour and she thought he looked tired. Did that mean that he had not slept well, either? She sat down opposite him as one of the new maids entered. Beth asked her to bring her some bread, butter and ham. With a whisk of skirts the girl left the room.
‘Would you like some ale?’ asked Gawain.
Beth nodded and watched him pour the liquid into a pewter cup. ‘We’ll have to leave soon if we wish to get a good view of the Drapers and Merchant Taylors’ Company leading the procession,’ he said.
‘Of course, you’ll know all about that exalted company due to your interest in the cloth trade,’ she murmured, sipping her ale.
‘I won’t be purchasing any cloth, but I want to see what price that from the Cotswolds, as well as our own fetches. I also wish to look at some sheep in Smithfield.’ He paused and passed the slip of paper he had been reading over to her. ‘We’ll be distributing that. It contains information about our reprinting of Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales, the cost and where it can be bought.’
Beth was impressed. ‘You thought of this?’
‘Aye,’ said Gawain. ‘What do you think?’
She hesitated. ‘Did you consider how it would cut into our profit on the books sold?’
‘Your master printer pointed that out to me, but I decided I would bear the cost myself and hopefully this will bring customers to the shop.’
Beth frowned. ‘That is good of you. If we had thought about it, we could have set up a stall at the fair.’
‘That would have entailed more labour,’ said Gawain. ‘No, Beth, I wish you to enjoy yourself at the fair, not work.’
It was true that she did want to enjoy herself with him and not be thinking of sales of books and profit margins, but even so part of her would have enjoyed making sales. ‘You must have been up very early to have had this set up and printed,’ she said.
He nodded. ‘It’s a pity that Nick’s journal is not yet in print. The more those who are literate know about it, then the more we will have them clamouring to buy yours and Phillip’s version of it.’
‘I’m glad you’re putting your heart into this venture,’ said Beth, smiling, as the maid entered with her breakfast.
‘I want the business to prosper for your sake and …’ he lowered his voice ‘… hopefully by not printing religious tracts there will be no attempts on your life.’
Beth felt that familiar trickle of fear as she
spread butter on a slice of bread. ‘I know you are right, but have you thought that by simply accepting the role of my guardian you could have put your own life in danger?’
‘That is a risk I am willing to take and you know why,’ he said quietly. ‘Tom and Sam are sharing the task of keeping a watch on York Place. When the Cardinal or Father Hugh returns, one of them will come and inform me of it.’ A muscle clenched in his jaw. ‘I plan to take the dagger with me this time and I have the missive that Mary sent me also with me. It’s possible the Cardinal might recognise it and also know where Cedric is—if he does, he can question him further. Now make haste and finish your breakfast, so we can be on our way.’ He stood up and left her alone to finish her meal.
Beth sighed, thinking even last night might never have been if it were not for his mention of Mary’s missive. But she would not allow herself to be low spirited, but look forward to the fair.
She and Gawain stood, watching the guilds and dignitaries of the city enter the churchyard of the priory of St Bartholomew. She forced herself to concentrate on what was taking place. After a silver measure of an exact yard was produced and all other measures laid against it to ensure customers would not be cheated with a false measure, the fair was declared open. She and Gawain joined the crowd gathered in the large green space that was part of the priory grounds and where the clothiers and drapers had set up their stalls. There was not only cloth to be had, but also gloves, ribbons, lots of different colours and textures of thread, as well as needles and pins.
Gawain tucked Beth’s hand in his arm and smiled down at her. ‘I don’t want to lose you,’ he said, ‘so best you hold on to me.’
‘I have no objection to that,’ she said, returning his smile, remembering when she had first set eyes on him. Never had she thought she would be contemplating marriage with him. ‘May we just wander around first and see what else there is on show?’
He agreed.
The west gate of the churchyard led on to the field known as Smithfield and there not only were animals being sold at market, but there stood other stalls, selling all kinds of goods, as well as booths where various sports took place, including wrestling, rope dancing and cockfighting, as well as miming, plays and dancing to the music of fiddles, pipes and the hurdy-gurdy. She thought of Phillip Hurst, wondering if, one day, she might see him here performing in one of the plays.