by Marian Wells
With a nod, Alex walked across the room. “Sir, I—”
“I heard your question,” came the heavy reply. The man shoveled in his eggs. “Never heard of the boat. Might be one that sank around the bend yesterday. Don’t know the name. Everybody lost. Wasn’t a very big boat, but it hit a snag, plumb square. It appears to have worked hard to hit it that neat.”
“Well,” Alex said slowly attempting to hide his emotions, “I guess you answered my question. It hasn’t come through.” Alex managed to keep his voice smooth as he added, “I’ll hang around today. Maybe I’ll find another vessel heading up the Ohio. You say a boat was lost?” He shook his head sadly.
His appetite for breakfast gone, Alex strolled casually out the door. He paused to study the mare chomping the row of petunias along the fence, and then turned to walk down to the wharf.
A roustabout was sweating over the bales of cotton on the wharf. Alex headed his direction. “Know anything about a steamboat hitting a snag around here yesterday?” Alex asked.
The Negro wiped his face. “Heard there was one. Water’s low through there. Too close to the bank. Acted like he didn’t have much power.”
“Were there—”
The fellow shook his head. “Heard all lost.” He squinted at Alex. “Know ’em?”
“Do you know the name of the boat?”
“Naw. Ask that gentleman coming out of the eating place. If anybody would know, he’s the one.”
Alex turned and saw the man he had met in the boardinghouse. “He doesn’t know; I’ve talked to him. Guess I’ll wait around.” As he turned away, Alex saw the flash of sympathy in the roustabout’s eyes. “Thanks for your time.”
It was mid-afternoon when Alex tied the mare to another tree and sat down to rest in its shade. He had ridden all the lanes and roads leading to the shoreline, and he had walked the streets of Paducah waiting and praying a nearly wordless prayer. Now, dizzy with heat and faint from not eating, he leaned against the tree and tried to summon the desire to look for a cafe.
He heard two sharp whistles. “Do I recognize that whistle?” he muttered, turning toward the river. Two steamboats were passing, and he tensed as the upriver vessel came into view. The bow was still shiny with new varnish, and from here he could see the gold lettering. With a grin, he got to his feet and shaded his eyes. “That’s it, my lovely Golden Awl!” He slapped the mare on her shoulder, “Finish your dinner, we’ve a good ride ahead of us tonight.”
Alex waited as patiently as his racing heart would allow for the Awl to move in closer; and when it finally slipped alongside the wharf, Jess tossed the line before dropping over the side. Alex caught the line and made it fast. “Howdy, Mr. Alex,” Jess said with a broad grin.
“How did it go?”
“Just dandy. Had a little delay. Tried to help a sinking boat yesterday. We were too late.”
“Yes, I know.” Alex took a deep breath as Joseph swung the plank down to the wharf. “Let’s go talk about that rudder.”
As he ran aboard, Matthew and Caleb leaned over the railing. He saw their anxious faces and replied tersely, “Everything is going fine on our end. We’ll join you as soon as this rudder problem is solved.”
They spent the remainder of the day getting the rudder fixed and sharing what each had gone through since they separated, and also tried to work out details for the journey ahead. At nightfall, just before Alex rode out, he pointed upriver. “There’s a sheltered cove. Spent my time searching it out this morning. Look for the live oak and tie on to it. We’ll be aboard before morning.” Alex then began the ride back to the farm.
It took longer than he expected. Even though the sky was clear, the night was still very black, making it harder to find the way. He arrived quite late, but as he approached the farm, he realized Stevens had heard the mare. The farmer was standing beside the pasture gate and came to meet him. “Looks like we’ll need to haul that load of hay tonight.”
Stevens said casually, “I can be ready to leave right away.”
“Don’t like involving you.”
“Once in a while a job comes up that makes it necessary,” he said in an off-handed manner as he carried the saddle into the barn. Alex stopped long enough to splash cold creek water on his face and drink deeply from his cupped hands before he climbed the ladder.
He could see the pale oval of Olivia’s face at the top. He felt her hands grasping him as he stepped into the hay. “The boat arrived this afternoon. Everything is under control.” Turning to the others, he said, “As soon as we can get into the wagon, we’ll head for Paducah.” He grinned when he heard the soft sighs of relief. The people started down the ladder, and he pressed the hands extended toward him.
As the dark line moved out of the barn and into the wagon, Stevens spoke softly. “No need to burrow into the hay unless there’s a problem. Most folks are sleeping at this time of night. Just don’t talk. We’ll go slow and easy, like one old man getting an early start on going to market.”
As Olivia started to follow the slaves into the wagon, Alex took her arm. “You in front, missus.” She saw the white slash of his grin, but before she could reply, he lifted her to the wagon seat, and he sat down next to her.
After everyone was seated, Stevens slapped the reins along the horses’ backs and said, “Get along gals, nice and easy.”
The moon had settled down into the western line of trees. Only the road ahead reflected light. Its whiteness stretched in a peaceful, curving path, but Olivia tensed as they passed each farmhouse with its barking dog. Finally Alex slipped his arm around her. Putting his mouth close to her ear, he whispered, “You’re only making matters worse for everyone; sit back and relax!”
****
To Olivia it seemed only brief minutes later when he shook her gently, whispering, “Sleepyhead, it’s nearly morning.”
She pulled herself away from him and sat up. The sky was pink and turning bright with sunlight. Alex pointed beyond her shoulder and she turned. Through the woods she could see the faint outline of the boat in the shadows of a giant tree.
She glanced at Alex and he nodded, “That’s it.”
Stevens pulled into the shadows and stopped. Jumping off the wagon seat, Alex lifted her down and then reached into the hay-filled wagon and began prodding everyone out. Just as silently as the wagon had been loaded, the cargo streamed over its side and followed Alex’s pointing finger.
When the last child padded after his mother, Alex leaned toward Mr. Stevens and held out his hand. Olivia could hear only the murmur of their voices, but she watched Stevens smile toward her and nod as he flicked the reins, and the horses plodded slowly down the road as silently as they had come. Alex tugged at her arm and Olivia hurried after little Joe and his mother.
Climbing aboard, Crystal met Olivia on deck. Hugging her, she said, “Ugh! You smell and feel like a haystack.”
Before the last Negro had entered the cabin, Jess tossed the line on deck and together he and Alex eased the boat into the current.
****
When Olivia awakened to the gentle motion of the boat, she smiled and turned to sleep again. Later she heard the rustle of frocks as Crystal and Amelia left the cabin. She snuggled deeper into the softness of the bunk.
It was very late that morning when she went down to the main deck. She blinked when she saw the line of small black faces around the table. Slowly she said, “I can’t believe this; it’s as if we’d never been gone at all.” But she gulped as she recalled the scene in the forest. When she turned and caught Tandy’s eyes, her voice gentled as she said, “I suppose we’ll never forget.”
Little Joe asked, “Did Alex get more paper for us?”
“I’ll need to find out.”
“He’s in the pilothouse. Go ask now. Please.” Tim remembered the magic word.
She looked around at the beseeching eyes. Again she heard, “Please.” Amelia turned from the stove with a laugh. “You’ve taught them well.”
With a
shrug, Olivia said, “I shall ask, right this moment.” Running up the first flight of stairs, Olivia turned toward the stairs leading to the hurricane deck. She stopped. At the far end of the boat she could see Crystal and Matthew standing with their heads close together. She started to hail them and then realized they were near the sternwheel. With that water churning in their ears, they’ll never hear me! For a second longer she watched them, and then with an amused smile, she ran up the stairs to the pilothouse.
With her hand on the doorknob she hesitated. The memory of her first trip up these stairs and the reception Alex had given her made her apprehensive. She was still chewing her lip as she pushed the door open.
With his feet braced against the floor and his hands on the wheel, Alex sang, “‘Gin a body meet a body, comin’ through the rye; Gin a body kiss a body, need a body cry?”
Slowly she walked round the wheel, hands on hips, and looked him in the eye. When he saw her, she watched his face redden. “You don’t like my song? It’s Robert Burns.”
“Cry?” she said. “I didn’t cry. Mr. Duncan, you were in your cups, weren’t you?”
His hands dropped from the wheel. “What did you say?”
There was a shout from below and he grabbed the wheel. “Snag, I see it!” he shouted.
She left the pilothouse, closing the door very forcefully behind her. Matthew came up the stairs at a run. “What’s going on? Caleb thought Alex was going to wipe out that snag.”
“He’s just not paying attention.”
Matthew’s voice was cold, “Then I suggest you save your diverting smiles until later. You could put us to the bottom of the river in a hurry!” With a cry of exasperation, she ran down the stairs.
The children were waiting. She studied their big eyes and said, “I don’t think Master Alex wants to be disturbed right now.”
“Just call him Alex,” Tim said very patiently.
Caleb came out of the engine room, looked at her and scratched his head. Apologetically he said, “I thought for sure we’d get to test that monkey rudder right now.”
The rest of the day went along much smoother with everyone settling into their old routines. Just as the evening meal was served, the engine was shut down and Alex allowed the Golden Awl to glide close to shore. Olivia heard the signaling bell and stepped to the railing to watch.
She heard Caleb’s shout as he reversed the monkey rudder and the boat slipped slowly into position.
Alex clattered down the stairs. “Caleb, it wouldn’t hurt to drop an anchor. There’s a current through here.”
He took his place at the table and frowned at Olivia. “I want to see you after dinner.”
“Please,” Tim prompted.
Startled, Alex repeated, “Please—I beg your pardon.” Stiffly he ducked his head Olivia’s direction.
****
When Olivia carried the dishpan of hot water to the table, Crystal said, “I think you had better see what Alex wants; he doesn’t look very happy. We’ll do the dishes.”
Olivia searched for an excuse while Alex watched. His eyes never wavered. Finally she shrugged and left the table. “To the cabin,” he said, waving toward the stairs.
As she left the group, Tim said, “Is he going to scold?”
Alex followed her into the cabin. He closed the door and said, “We didn’t get to finish our conversation this afternoon. Please, let’s continue.” She smiled at the stressed please, and he said, “Will you explain what you said?”
Lightly she said, “That foolish song, and you teasing with your eyes. That’s all; forget the rest.”
“Olivia, you accused me of, as you said, being in my cups. I don’t remember much of that night. I have only an impression of confusion and noise and a very lovely woman. Did we dance?”
“Yes, in the most outrageous fashion all over the kitchen.”
He winced, then grinned. “I didn’t have any idea what I had missed by being drunk.” His grin disappeared. “But I evidently made a very bad impression on you. What did you mean when you said you didn’t cry over a kiss?”
She avoided his eyes, wondering what she should say. Hesitantly he asked, “Did I kiss you?” She nodded. He frowned again, and then brightened as he came around the table. “And if you didn’t cry, then I suppose it’s appropriate for me to assume you—”
“Alex!” she flew around to the other side of the table.
She faced him with her hands pressed against her hot cheeks. “That isn’t what I meant. Don’t you remember?”
“I remember you felt soft and warm in my arms.” He rested his hands on the table and leaned across.
“I slapped you as hard as I could. And—” she moved away from the table. “It might relieve a great deal of anger if I were to do so again.”
He straightened and abruptly apologized. “I can see you mean it. Olivia, I’m dreadfully sorry. Believe me, I’d never do anything to shame a woman, and I want to assure you that it will never happen again.”
“I will help you,” she snapped. “I’ll promise you, there won’t be opportunity!”
With a stiff bow, he turned and left the cabin. Olivia flung herself on the bunk and buried her face in the pillow.
The door opened. Olivia listened with her heart pounding. “Olivia, may we talk?” It was Crystal.
With a sigh Olivia sat up. “I suppose. I can guess you want to tell me how foolish I am.”
“No,” Crystal came to sit on the bunk beside her. Finally she said, “Are you talking about Alex? If you’ve chased him away, I don’t blame you. He’s extremely arrogant.”
“Arrogant?” Olivia echoed, “I—well I guess I hadn’t thought of him as that. It seems to me he’s just overwhelming. He’s so big, and—” She stopped, and added, “and that foolish earring he wears, I simply don’t—” She waved her hands helplessly.
“If you feel that way about him, then why did you come with them?”
Olivia searched for a safe answer. “I didn’t intend this kind of involvement. It was really a mistake.”
“Olivia, people don’t make these kinds of mistakes.”
“Well, I did. When they found me on the boat, they forced—”
“Forced! Oh, Olivia, if that is so, then you’ve reason to feel as you do. In addition, it is arrogant for him to make you come.”
“Well, to be honest, I was in a difficult place. See, all these slaves were right there. Alex was afraid I’d let someone know about them. You know they’re all runaways.”
“I’d gathered that,” Crystal said slowly.
“So I had to come with them, just to keep the slaves safe.”
Crystal was silent a moment, then she said slowly, “You mean they were willing to sacrifice your welfare just in order to keep the slaves safe? I’m glad Matthew doesn’t feel that way.”
“You are?”
Crystal faltered. “I think I am.” For a time they sat in silence. In the dimness of the cabin, Olivia watched her friend’s face.
Finally she said, “Crystal, all day I’ve had a feeling that something is troubling you. If you need a listening ear, I’d be glad to supply it. I realize Amelia will be popping in here any minute, but—”
“No, she won’t. She, Matthew, and Alex are sitting on the main deck talking. I got the feeling it was pretty serious, so I just left them to it.”
“Is it because of her that you are so unhappy?”
“No.” Crystal stood up and restlessly walked to the porthole. She turned quickly, “I need to talk so badly I can scarcely stand it.” She hesitated, then the words poured out. “What would you do if you found out that your best friend’s father wasn’t Creole, as you’d been led to believe. Instead, the father was just plain Negro slave. Isn’t that horrible?”
Silence filled the cabin; Crystal looked as if she were ready to cry. Glancing down at her hands, Olivia rubbed a fingernail and tried to analyze the problem. Finally she said, “Crystal, I’m surprised that you are this upset. Somehow it isn�
�t the way I expected you to be.”
“I’m sorry,” Crystal whispered. “I guess I’ve overreacted, but I trusted her so much, and now I just don’t know what to think. Am I to accept her as my equal? It isn’t just our social standing that concerns me. It’s a moral question—relationships.”
“I know what you mean. We’ve lived with these people; they raised us. Sometimes I feel more mothered by my old nurse than I do my own mother. But there’s a line dividing us. It seems against human nature to be forced into a situation where we must say we are all the same.”
“I’ve been raised hearing that they are an inferior race. Am I now to admit I’m no better than they?”
Now Olivia’s words came in a rush. She turned and held Crystal’s arm, giving it a gentle shake. “That’s why I am so angry with Alex, it’s not—the other things. What his actions are saying to me are simply this: ‘Olivia, you are no better than all these slaves, and furthermore, if I must sacrifice a human, it will be you rather than them.’ See what I mean?”
Slowly Crystal said, “Yes, I understand.”
Her voice was flat, and Olivia said, “I don’t think you do. You don’t sound as if you agree. Why?”
Crystal caught her breath and her words came in a rush. “Do you really think that is what God intended? Oh, I know we Southerners look in our Bibles and see things that we say explain slavery. But sometimes it seems so very unfair.”
Olivia got to her feet. With a tiny nervous laugh, she said, “It is too bad we aren’t still at school; we would make such a good debate team—you for equality, and me against.”
“I didn’t—” Crystal gentled her voice. “You misunderstood; I didn’t say I agreed with Alex’s forcing you to come along. But certainly the North is the place to draw a crowd with a debate like that.”
Olivia giggled. “You wouldn’t dare do it in the South; we’d lose all our friends immediately.”
“If I had the nerve,” Crystal said slowly, “I’d ask Alex exactly what he thinks.”