by Marian Wells
With a shrug, she fluttered her fingers at Matthew and Amelia before she climbed the stairs to bed.
Chapter 26
On the day the Ohio River turned south between Kentucky and Virginia, Olivia sat at the table with the children. Crystal came to sit beside her, quietly listening to the children as they said their letters.
Surprised by her silence, Olivia glanced at her. Crystal’s shoulders drooped while she listlessly toyed with a pencil. Olivia could see Crystal was deeply troubled.
Before she had opportunity to speak, Tandy and Maggie, who had been watching at the rail since shortly after breakfast, turned from their post.
With an anxious face, Maggie pointed to a small packet. “I don’t like that boat; he’s been keepin’ right even with us. ’Spect we better go to the cabins.”
Crystal went to the rail. “It is close,” she said thoughtfully. “In fact it’s just ahead of us. Olivia, should we ask Jess to cut the speed?” Without waiting for an answer, she faced Tandy and said, “When he moves ahead, then you all run fast, otherwise someone might see you go—” The gong rang. “Alex is signaling a slowdown,” Olivia said, quickly gathering the pencils and paper.
Matthew charged down the stairs. “Get to the cabins!” he ordered. “Shove the cotton in place; there could be an inspection—that boat’s riding too close.”
He watched them go. “Alex has been expecting this for a couple of days.” He looked at the pile of papers on the table. “Better get rid of the book; that’s a giveaway.”
Amelia came down the stairs. “Guess I’ll put on a pot of coffee.”
“There, we’ve dropped behind.” Matthew turned, “Run, children!” He casually walked to the rail to stand beside Crystal.
They watched the packet slow down and ease close to the Golden Awl. Caleb came out of the engine room, eyed the row of spectators, and gave them a quick warning glare before he went up the stairs.
The whistle shrilled three sharp blasts, and Matthew muttered, “That fellow will get the idea he’s stepping on our toes.”
The blast was returned, and Matthew said, “Prepare for company.”
Alex clattered down the stairs. Olivia saw his grimace one moment before he assumed his welcoming smile. With a shiver, she hugged herself and waited.
“Stop being a baby, Livie,” Matthew muttered, moving toward Alex.
Olivia glared at him and went to clear the table. Amelia gave her an amused grin, saying, “Picky brothers! Carry this coffee up to Caleb; you need something to do.”
She nodded gratefully and took the coffeepot. When Olivia entered the pilothouse, Caleb said, “I just hit the dead slow bell; they’ll be aboard in a minute. Missy, you need this coffee worse than I do. Never saw a lady get the shakes as bad as you.”
“And the taunting I get makes me want to shake this coffeepot over your head,” she cried. He grinned and eased out of her way. Pouring coffee for the two of them, he settled down to wait.
****
The pilothouse was the last stop on the inspector’s tour. He shook his head over the offered cup. “Just a routine check. The traffic in runaway slaves is picking up. With the rumbles coming out of Washington, these Northerners are speeding up their activity. Seems they’re bound to get all the slaves out of the country.
“Mark my words, the abolitionists will pull the whole country down around our ears. The South can’t take much more of this loss. When you figure a slave is worth more’n five hundred dollars, one boat load could bleed the South of fifty thousand dollars worth of property.”
“Fifty thousand!” Olivia gasped. “That’s an awful lot of slaves for a boat to be carrying.”
Matthew, Caleb, and Alex glared at her as the inspector left the pilothouse with a brisk salute toward Alex. Matthew followed the man.
Alex turned to Caleb. “I intend to keep going tonight. The sooner we get out of this river, the better I’ll like it.”
“I suppose we could,” Caleb agreed, “but we’d have to keep it slow and right in the middle of the channel.” He paused, adding, “As long as you want to risk another sandbar or hitting a snag.” He shrugged. “Me, I’m not sold on the idea. Doesn’t seem the risk is worth it. Right now, we’re traveling sixteen hours a day.”
Alex nodded thoughtfully, saying, “Maybe it is best to stick to our plan. Push hard during daylight hours and not risk travel after dark,” Olivia’s breath came out in an explosion of relief. He grinned at her as she hurried out of the pilothouse.
At the bottom of the stairs, she met Crystal, who asked, “What makes you so happy?”
****
After the evening meal, nearly before the last dish towel had been hung, Crystal went upstairs.
Olivia saw Matthew looking after her with a puzzled expression on his face. After a glance at Crystal, Olivia asked, “What have you done to her?”
“I’ve scarcely said a word to her today,” he said, sounding lonely. “I hoped she’d stay down here for the evening.”
“Shall I tell her so?” she asked, starting for the stairs. He brightened and nodded.
When Olivia entered the cabin, she found Crystal sitting at the table. A small candle burned in front of her and her hands were folded on a black book.
“You’ll ruin your eyes trying to read in the dark,” Olivia said as she pushed the door open and braced it with a rug.
“If you’ve come to talk, I’ll not ruin my eyes,” Crystal retorted.
“Where did you find a book to read?”
“It’s Alex’s Bible.”
Olivia chewed her lip and pondered the statement, wondering what it implied. “Matthew was hoping you’d stay down with him tonight.” Crystal looked up, hesitating. Olivia added, “You two seemed to be getting along very well. Has something happened to change that?”
“No,” Crystal said slowly. “It’s just that things—aren’t what they seemed. Matthew is nice, but—”
“I understand,” Olivia touched Crystal’s hand. “Nothing clicked. Too bad; it would have been nice to have you for a sister-in-law. But then, Matthew is terribly immature.”
“I don’t think he is,” Crystal protested. “I’d thought him rather sophisticated.”
“Why the Bible?”
“Oh, I borrowed it. I’ve been asking questions until either Alex was bored with them or just plain confused by them. He suggested I read for myself.”
“What did he tell you to read?”
“The book of John.”
“In the dark?” Olivia snorted. “Reading the Bible in daylight is difficult enough, and impossible after dark.”
“Is that so?” Crystal faltered. “I haven’t read much of the Bible except for occasional verses. And I’m afraid I didn’t get much help at home. See, our church doesn’t encourage Bible reading. All I’ve known is what Auntie T has told me.”
“Your nurse, the slave who traveled with us to Boston?” Crystal nodded and Olivia asked, “How did she learn to read?”
“She can’t read, but she has a good memory.” She smiled up at Olivia. “For a week after she’s heard a sermon, I listen to the whole thing, over and over.” Moving restlessly on the chair, Crystal said, “Well, if I can’t read this, perhaps you can tell me about it.”
“I doubt I know more than you,” Olivia drawled. “My mind wanders when I hear sermons.” She paused, curious. “What do you want to know?”
“I’m not certain how to put this, but after listening to the Bible verses Alex has been reading to us, I have a whole stack of things piling up in my mind. Olivia, I’ve been raised to believe that once people are baptized into the church, if they continue to go to Mass and say their prayers, God is pretty much pleased with them. I’ve tried to be faithful, but the more I listen to Alex the worse I feel. Surely there can’t be truth in what he says.”
“Well, I guess I haven’t been listening too closely, but I think I’ve been hearing much the same thing all my life, Crystal.” Olivia sat down and studied her sad f
eatures. “What amazes me is that this is all making you so unhappy.”
“I simply don’t understand. Alex says we become Christians by accepting Jesus Christ as our Savior and Lord. And then he talked about faith. You have to believe, and you must pray and tell God you are serious about being a Christian. But more than that—” She shrugged.
Helplessly Olivia lifted her hands. “I can’t understand what the problem is. Either you are a Christian or you aren’t.” Dropping her hands, she leaned forward. “But then if you have a guilty conscience—you know, feel bad from lying or some such, that is a different matter. In that case I think you need to confess—”
“But I can’t; there isn’t a priest around here. Olivia, what would happen to me if we had an accident and I died? See, I’ve been thinking about this since that terrible explosion. It was the Lord’s grace that I didn’t die then. But now—what happens when there isn’t a priest around?”
Olivia shrugged and took a deep breath. “I guess you’ll just have to hope God will listen to you without a priest.” She saw the dejection in Crystal’s face. “That doesn’t help? I can’t understand. If I can pray and feel good about confessing my sins to God, why can’t you do the same thing?”
Abruptly Olivia jumped to her feet. “Oh, Crystal, this is just terrible. I don’t know what to tell you to make you understand. But wait here; I’ll go find Alex and have him talk to you.”
Crystal had her face buried in her hands as Olivia ran from the cabin. She looked up at the pilothouse, but there wasn’t a glimmer of light. Neither was there a hint of light coming from the open cabin doors down the hurricane deck. Going to the head of the stairs, Olivia leaned over and peered at the deck below.
By the glow of the lantern on the table she could see Alex and Amelia. They were looking intently at each other, but their voices were only a murmur set against the lap of water on the hull.
As she hesitated, the two got to their feet. Amelia stepped around the table and gave Alex a quick hug. “Thank you, and good night,” she called, starting toward the stairs.
Her mind in a confused whirl, Olivia slowly began walking down the stairs toward the two. She mentally searched for words to say, words that would sear away the hurting memory of Alex’s arms around her, Alex murmuring in her ear.
Amelia had started up the stairs. “Oh, Olivia! You startled me. I didn’t see you—nearly ran you over!” She stepped aside, touching Olivia’s arm as she did. “Are you looking for Alex?”
Olivia stopped. Taking a deep breath she said, “No, I’ll settle for you. Crystal needs someone to talk sense into her head. I think she’s afraid this steamboat is going to explode too.”
“Oh dear, I’ll go,” Amelia said. Stepping around Olivia, she hurried to the cabin.
Still wondering about her strange reaction to the scene around the table, Olivia sat down on the steps. She watched Alex walk to the railing and lean over the side of the boat. She pondered her reluctance to go down the steps. Over the ache that scene had left in her heart, she searched for safe anger and felt a sensation of betrayal.
Still brooding, she thought about the way the pale glow of light from the lantern touched his shoulders, drawing an intimate circle around them. That was the shoulder she had slept against in the forest. Olivia, why are you jealous? He is nothing in your life except a brutish friend of your brother.
She heard a door open and close as Caleb came out of the engine room and went to stand beside Alex. For a moment they talked, and then Alex turned toward Caleb. Olivia blinked her eyes in disbelief. Alex put his arm across Caleb’s shoulders. They talked for a moment more, and as she watched, the two men hugged each other, spoke again, and then parted.
Olivia scrambled up the stairs and flew into the cabin.
Amelia was on her knees beside Crystal’s bunk. As Olivia watched, Amelia brushed Crystal’s hair away from her eyes, patted her face, and stood up.
Turning aside, Olivia prepared for bed. Her mind was full of strange pictures: Amelia and Alex, Alex and Caleb, and Crystal. What was the meaning of all she had seen? The pictures puzzled and irritated her, leaving her more baffled than ever.
****
In the morning when Olivia clattered down the steps, she found Alex beside the table with the Bible in his hands. Crystal was also standing. She faced Alex and then turned to the others.
Olivia slipped into her seat as Crystal said, “Amelia told me that Alex had helped her understand more about God. He asked her how she would approach God if she were the only person on earth. And then he said that is the way any person is to address God.” She glanced at Alex and waited.
He said, “I told her just speak to Him. When we get desperate we toss out all the rules and rituals. Looking at the world around us, and measuring the beauty of His creation against our own little selves, reminds us that He is a loving God. He wants us to approach Him and give Him an opportunity to make His love known to us.”
His voice brooded. “Although we may not know anything about Him, He knows everything about us.” With a smile he added, “His Word provides the link we need—it tells us God loved us enough to die so that we can live. He did it through Jesus Christ.” For a moment Alex’s gaze rested on Olivia, and she saw the question in his eyes.
Caleb said, “Alex, you make it sound too simple. There’s repentance to do and a right way to live.”
“But in the beginning,” Alex countered, “there’s just God and me. He has done His part, and now He waits to see if I will do mine.”
Matthew clattered down the steps. He stopped, looked from Crystal to Alex, and then approached. “Your part? What is that?”
For a moment Alex dropped his head. “I suppose Shakespeare said it better than I can. ‘We do pray for mercy: And that same prayer doth teach us all to render the deeds of mercy.’”
“I like that,” Matthew said as he picked up his bowl and went to the stove. “I’ll remember it.”
“Only, Matt,” Alex reminded gently, “doing the deeds of mercy is impossible without the Lord of mercy helping us.”
“Deeds of mercy,” Maggie said, nodding her head with a pleased smile. “I think we know Alex has the Lord of Mercy living in him.”
Chapter 27
Holding the dripping gown in front of her, Olivia hurried down the stairs.
Maggie turned from the stove. “I see you’re wearing Matthew’s britches again.”
Carefully smoothing the wrinkles out of the dark cotton dress, Olivia nodded. “I didn’t wash this last night. But then it wouldn’t have dried. The rain was cold, wasn’t it?”
“We’re getting into fall. I been looking at the trees every day, and I see them changing color. Worries me that we won’t make Canada before snow. I ain’t been in snow, but they tell me it’s miserable.”
Olivia nodded. “Crystal and I spent a winter in Boston. After beautiful Mississippi, it was horrible. I’ll never live in the North again. Snow and cold, and then more of the same.”
She heard a chuckle and turned. Caleb shook his head. “Don’t say that, Missy—could be just what’ll happen to you.”
“I intend to leave for home just as soon as this trip is finished.”
“You’re not goin’ to stay and help up North?” Maggie looked shocked. “Here I thought—”
Hastily Caleb said, “Maggie, will you make some coffee for us? Send it up to the cabin by Livie.” He went upstairs and Maggie carried the coffeepot to the stove.
“Must be something going on up there.” She jerked her head toward the hurricane deck.
“Could be,” Olivia murmured. As she continued to smooth the wrinkles out of her wet clothing, she recalled the way Caleb had interrupted Maggie.
Going to the stove, she asked, “Maggie, what made you think I would stay in the North?”
Maggie rolled her eyes. “Missy, we’ve just been conjecturing. Seems we all thought you and Alex make a good pair. He sure enough seems to want you around.”
“Because
he forced me to stay on the boat? Maggie, that’s simply an indication he doesn’t trust me to keep my mouth shut.”
“The coffee’s done. I’ll put the whole load in this box for you. Might be someone’ll want a piece of fried bread with it.”
Olivia picked up the box. “Are there mugs, too?”
She climbed the stairs to the hurricane deck and found the cabin door was ajar. Olivia pushed it open and went in. Charts and maps were spread across the table. Alex was seated in front of them, busy writing. He looked up. “Thanks for bringing the coffee. Caleb must’ve forgot.”
“No, he told me to. Where is he? I saw him go upstairs.”
“Pilothouse. He’s staying with Matthew. There’s a tricky section coming up.”
“I’ll take coffee up,” Olivia said. Alex nodded and bent over the charts. Quickly she filled the mug and left the room.
In the pilothouse she found Caleb sprawled on the bench with his red cap over his eyes. “Sleeping! I thought you wanted coffee,” she taunted.
He shoved the cap aside and grinned, “Alex did. You’re neglecting your job. Thanks for the coffee.”
“My job is to carry coffee?”
Matthew eyed her. “You wear out my trousers, and then what do I wear?”
“Brother dear, by then you’ll be buying clothes for both of us, and it had best be soon.”
“We’re getting close to Pennsylvania.”
She looked at Matthew. “Are you going home with me?”
He grinned. “Not unless I can convince Crystal she should come, too.”
Olivia frowned. “Don’t push. I have the distinct impression that Crystal wishes you would stop bothering her.”
“Off and on she feels that way. But I’m winning. You’ve noticed she didn’t get off at Cincinnati.”
“You know as well as I that she’s committed herself to seeing that Joseph gets into Canada.”