For most of his life, I thought, he had necessarily looked to himself alone for any succor or understanding. But with his touching of Atara, some deep drive to trust others seemed to open inside him. As the miles passed behind us that long, hot day, I sensed him finding a deep accord with Estrella, and she with him. He spoke to her of little things, which she smiled at or commented upon with a flutter of her fingers or an arching of her eyebrows. And she seemed to speak to him. And not just to him but of him: her lovely, open face shone as brightly as any mirror, reflecting the glories of his soul that she found within him. Without being conscious of this talent, I thought, she showed me Bemossed's kindness, his compassion, generosity, fire and an otherworldly grace.
But there were darker things, too: stubbornness, jealousy, and an excruciating sensitivity to other people and to the world. He carried deep in his eyes intimations of despair and doom. I sensed that he felt flawed in a fundamental way. Then, too, I think he feared the long, dark night of the spirit when he found himself cast out into the deadness of the world and could not find his way back to his secret land. It came to me, as I saw him touching his fingers to Estrella's throat and his eyes grew bright and fey, that he sought this abidance through healing. And at least a part of this primeval urge to make things whole he directed at me. This amazed me: that despite his ire, despite his dread of my wrath and my fury for vengeance upon my enemies, he still wished to restore me to my best self and to bring out in me only the good, the beautiful and the true.
We made camp that night in a clearing in a wood to the south of the road not five miles from Orun. While Liljana and Estrella began preparing dinner, Kane galloped off to scout ahead and ensure that we might make the river crossing without running into King Arsu's army marching down the road from Avrian. He returned two hours later to a bowl of stew that Liljana had kept warm for him. Between bites of steaming okra, maize and beef, he told us, 'The army hasn't passed yet, but it's expected any day. We'll do well to be up early tomorrow and cross over the Black Bridge as soon as they open it for taking tolls.'
I might have hoped that Kane would join us in retiring early, taking a little rest, if not sleep. Instead, he set up on the side of the cart a painted wooden target. He took out the seven knives that he had ordered from the smith in Ramlan. They were each long and tapered to a fine point, perfectly balanced and razor-sharp. He stood on bracken-covered ground oblivious of the mosquitoes that came out and whined through the semi-darkness; he hurled his knives spinning through the air, trying to fit as many as he could into the small, white circle at the center of the target. The small moon above the trees cast but little light for him to make out the target's rings. How he worked such magic remained to me a mystery. Warriors of Mesh cast lances at targets, and used knives to cut meat or other men, but we rarely learned this art that Kane now displayed with such great determination and virtuosity.
Later, Liljana brewed up some tea for us, and for Kane, some thick Khevaju coffee which Bemossed brought to him steaming in his cup. Everyone except Kane retired soon after that. He took long slow sips of his dark drink in between his target practice. I tried to fall asleep to the thunk, thunk, thunk of steel driving into wood. In watching Kane all ashimmer in the moonlight, in looking over at Bemossed stretched out in a troubled stillness by the fire, I brooded over the mystery of men. Would the brilliance of our spirits someday lift us up toward the stars? Or would our inborn flaws drive deep through our hearts, dividing us against ourselves and letting in the darkness?
It was in that strange time between darkness and day that I awoke to a sense that something was wrong. Mosquitoes whined about me without pity; frogs croaked from some water deeper in the woods. A faint light suffused the trees and undergrowth, while the fire had burnt out completely. I sat up to take stock of Master Juwain, Maram and Daj sleeping near me. Over by the fence surrounding our encampment, unbelievably, Kane seemed to be sleeping, too. But Bemossed was nowhere to be seen.
My first thought upon noting this shamed me: that he and Atara had stolen off into the woods together. My second thought frightened me, for I feared that Bemossed had run away. As quickly as I could, I stepped over to Kane and bent down to shake him awake. This proved harder than I would have supposed. When Kane finally opened his eyes in a burst of consciousness, though, he whipped himself into motion, sliding out a dagger and nearly disembowelling me before I moved aside and shouted at him: 'Kane! It is only me — Valashu!' 'Val!' he shouted back. 'Val — what happened?' Our cries aroused our companions. Maram and Master Juwain came over to us in a hurry; a few moments later, the door to the cart opened, and Atara came out with her unstrung bow in her hand. She joined us by the fence, and so did Estrella and Liljana, Kane rubbed at his eyes and said, 'I don't know what happened.' When I told of how I had found him, Maram upbraided Kane, saying, 'You fell asleep, that's what happened. You, the invincible Kane, the ever-watchful the ever-waking: you finally closed your damn eyes like any other human being and — '
'So,' Kane growled out. He sliced his dagger in the air inches from Ma ram's throat as if to silence him. 'I never just fall asleep.'
Liljana noticed Kane's cup dropped down onto the forest floor near the fence. A residue of coffee stained its insides. She picked up the cup and sniffed at it. Then she said to Kane, 'I remember Bemossed bringing you your coffee. He must have slipped a soporific into it.'
'One of your sleeping potions, then? You should be more careful Liljana.'
'You should be careful,' she told him. 'Of what you say. I've kept my medicines safe enough, and so has Master Juwain.'
She went on to say that she detected a faint, bittersweet odor of some botanical emanating from the cup, but it was neither that of mandrake or poppy or anything else familiar to her. 'But many plants here in Hesperu are strange to me. It seems likely that Bemossed must have stolen a soporific from Mangus before we left Jhamrul.'
'So,' Kane said, hurling the cup down to the ground, 'I should have smelled it, too.'
And I, I thought, should have turned my mind toward suspecting that Bemossed might be planning an escape, for I had surely known it in my heart. And then Atara reminded both me and Kane: 'This is no time for recriminations. Bemossed is gone — what shall we do?'
'I'll go after him,' Kane said simply, moving toward the cart to gather up some things. 'He can't have gotten very far.'
'I'll go, too,' I told him. 'And I,' Maram said.
'No,' Kane commanded him. 'It won't do for all of us to go running across the countryside getting lost. Stay here and guard the others. I'll hunt this rabbit best alone.'
After he had packed his horse's saddlebags with food, water and other necessities, he led the beast toward some broken undergrowth beyond our camp. He found Bemossed's track easily enough. It led off toward the south, through the woods.
A few moments later, he disappeared into the wall of green and left us there wondering what to do. Liljana immediately impressed Daj and Estrella into helping her prepare breakfast. Eating good food together, I thought, was her answer to a great many problems.
We waited there in the clearing through the long hours of the morning as the sun drove the dew from the grasses and other vegetation, and heated up the air. I listened to the birds chirping and some chittering squirrels fighting in the branches high overhead. After a while, I took out my flute and played a few songs. I watched as Liljana sewed up a rip in Maram's fool's costume and Master Juwain read from the Saganom Elu. Daj showed Estrella a game that he had invented with Master Juwain's tarot cards. The day wore on.
By late afternoon, I grew concerned. It seemed that Kane's 'rabbit' had gotten much farther than Kane had supposed — either that or Kane had run into some sort of trouble. When evening darkened the trees and the mosquitoes came out in blood-sucking clouds, I could not bring myself to eat very much. I stood at Kane's post by the heap of logs peering through the nearly blackened woods. I listened for the sound of Kane's horse swishing through the undergrowth; I watched t
he stars whirl slowly about the sky, and I waited.
I slept only a little that night, when Maram relieved me for a few hours. The new day found me back at my vigil. Because of my tiredness, I was slow to act when I heard at least four horses clopping along the road hidden by the swath of trees. I commanded Maram and Daj to gather up Altaru and Fire, and our other mounts, and lead them off into the forest. This they did. And just in time, for a few moments later, six soldiers wearing a yellow livery marked with many small red dragons burst into the clearing. They bore lances, sheathed swords and small, bossed shields. It seemed that they had espied our cart's tracks in the soft earth leading off the road and had followed them here.
'Have you any chickens, pigs or goats?' their grizzled sergeant called out to us.
They were, as we discovered, a foraging party sent into the countryside to find food for King Arsu's army, which had finally marched and was nearing Orun. One of the soldiers rode over to our three packhorses and sized them up with a practiced eye. He offered his opinion that they could be put to work in the army's baggage train — or at least slaughtered and cut up for food. It horrified me to learn that these soldiers of King Arsu ate horse meat. I prayed that Maram and Daj would keep Altaru from whinnying out a challenge from wherever they had hidden him in the woods. And our other horses, too. And then the sergeant took pity on us, saying to his man: 'How are these players to pull their cart without horses?' He dismounted and walked about our encampment. He went over to the cart, where Kane's target hung. He noted the seven knives stuck into it. He pulled one of them free, then backed off a dozen paces. As he squinted, he flung the knife at the target. It struck the painted wood butt end first, and sprang back into the air with clang of steel before striking the ground.
'Knives,' he laughed out, shaking his head. Then he rested his hand on the stacked brush near our wagon and said, 'You don't need such protections any more — haven't you heard? The errants have all been crucified and won't be waylaying travelers any more.'
He seemed quite proud of his accomplishments up in Avrian, and so did his men. Without asking our leave, he opened up the can's back door to look within. I wanted badly to push him aside and take out my sword, which I had hidden beneath some bolts off cloth. The captain and his men wore only the thinnest of scale armor beneath their livery. I thought that I might be able to cut all of them apart as one of their butchers might section a requisitioned horse. But Liljana was cleverer than I and possessed of greater restraint. She found a ham, and presented it to the sergeant, saying, 'I'm sure everyone is thanking you for making the land safe. We would ask you to breakfast but we must soon be on our way. But please consider that we have taken meat together.'
The sergeant smiled at this, and so did his men. I was sure that they would devour the ham before they had gone five more miles. Then, at need, they could tell their quartermaster truthfully that they had been our guests instead of confiscators of supplies they did not share.
We all breathed easier to see the soldiers ride off as they had come. When I thought it safe, I called for Maram and Daj to bring the horses back into the clearing. I explained what had happened, then said, 'It seems that the army will encamp in Orun tonight, and so it's not safe for us to go on.'
'It's clearly not safe for us to remain here, either,' Maram said. He sighed, then added, 'And I was hoping to have that ham for dinner.'
We all had greater concerns than missing victuals. We worried that Bemossed or Kane might have encountered other soldiers fanning out along the river. Perhaps Bemossed lay dead or dying in some stinking rice bog with a spear wound though his belly; perhaps Kane had been cut off from returning or had been captured.
The passing hours heaped worry upon worry like a growing stack of lead weights upon our chests. When evening came and still Kane remained absent, the long night wreaked upon us an excrutiating dread that slowly tightened like the turning of a torturer's screw around our skulls. None of us slept very well. We awoke at dawn to whining mosquitoes, aching heads and a wall of mist that clung to the greenery of the woods. I knew that we could not bear to remain another day in this place, waiting and doing nothing.
In silence, I brought forth Alkaladur to begin my morning sword practice. The rising sun warmed the woods only a little, and did not burn off the mist. And then, after a couple hours, I heard the noise of a horse clopping along the road. The noise came closer as the horse obviously turned into the woods straight toward us. A few moments later, Kane's horse broke from the mist, and I saw Kane sitting grimly upon his back. A rope tied to the horse's saddle trailed behind a few yards and pulled upon the bound body of Bemossed. I had to blink my eyes, to make sure it really was Bemossed, staggering along behind Kane and half-hidden in the mist. Mud caked his curly hair and covered his face, arms and his tunic. His bare legs seemed to have been cut by thorns, and streaks of blood had washed away some of the mud staining them. He bled from his chest, as well. There, the irons that Kane had locked around his arms and back had abraded his tunic and opened up his flesh. I ground my teeth in horror at this sight; I had sent Kane after the Maitreya — or at least a great, free spirit — and he had brought him back to us in chains.
I rushed forward and swung my sword at the rope, parting it like air. I placed my hand upon Bemossed's back, but he — shook me oft insisting upon walking into our encampment of his own power, I shouted at Kane: 'Unlock him! You had no need to put chains upon him!'
'No need!' Kane growled at me. He came inside our brush work fortifications and dismounted. He sat Bemossed down upon a log. He gripped the chain pinioning Bemossed's arms against his chest, and he shook Bemossed and snapped at me, 'So, what do you know of need? This rabbit ran faster and farther than I could have guessed. And when I finally caught him, he fought me like a trapped rat. There was no other way to bring him back, and so I'm not sorry for that.'
'Well, he is back,' I said, 'so unlock him.'
'No — he'll just try to run away again.'
'Unlock him, Kane!'
Kane shoved his savage face closer to mine and glared at me. But then I glared at him, and flung all his fury back at him, and something more. Finally, he looked away from me and muttered, 'Unlock him yourself, if you want.'
He brought forth a key and slapped it into my hand. Then he stalked off toward the fire as he called out, 'Maram! Where's that damn brandy you've been hiding away?'
After I had taken the chains off Bemossed, Liljana came forward with some tea for him to drink. But he refused to take it. All he seemed able to say was: 'Leave me alone.'
'But you have to drink something,' Liljana said. 'And eat some breakfast, too. And we have to get you cleaned up! Daj, go fetch some water from the stream and put it to boil so that — ' 'Leave me alone!' Bemossed shouted at her. The force of will that poured out of him stunned me. I stood gripping the bloody chains that I had taken off him. Atara, waiting nearby, turned her blindfolded face toward him with a look of great concern. Master Juwain paused in making ready the needle and thread and other gleaming instruments he might need to tend to Bemossed's wounds. Estrella knelt down on the muddy ground by Bemossed's feet. It amazed me that he allowed her to take hold of his hand.
'I'm sorry it came to this,' I said to him. 'Sorry, too, that we had to take you with us. But Taras is right — it couldn't be helped.'
Bemossed stared at me then. The hurt in his soft brown eyes wounded me deeper than any accusation could have.
'It is for the best,' I told him. 'I know you don't understand.'
'You,' he finally said to me, 'don't understand. You speak to me of freedom — and then you make me your slave! You can put me in chains or cut out my tongue or crucify me, but you are more of a slave than I!'
His words shocked me, but I knew exactly what he meant. So, I thought, did Atara and Maram, and everyone else. I said to him, 'We didn't mean to keep you a slave. As to our eyes, truly, you are not. We hoped you would come to trust us and then — '
'You think what you
did makes me trust you?'
He looked at me with such a deep searching of his soul that I could not bear it. Something broke inside me then. I turned toward Kane and rattled the chains in the air. I called out, 'No, not this way — this cannot be the way!'
Kane said nothing as he stared at me through the fire's hot flames.
I flung the chains to the ground. I turned back to Bemossed and told him, 'All right — you are free, then!'
He smiled sadly at this as he rubbed his wounded chest. 'Free of the irons, and I suppose I should thank you for that. But still free to go only where you make me to go.'
'No, you misunderstand me,' I told him. 'You are free. We will make out a deed of manumission.'
His eyes locked onto mine. 'Truly?'
'Truly,' I told him.
I held out my hand for him to grasp, but before he could act, Kane stalked over from the fire and knocked his forearm against mine. He growled at me, 'What are you doing?'
'As I said,' glancing at Bemossed, 'I'm giving him his freedom.'
'No, you can't.'
'You're right, I can't,' I said. 'I can't give him what he already possesses. Men are born free, and free they remain.'
'Do you think so?'
'We don't make slaves of men, Kane!'
Kane bent down to pick up the chains on the ground, and now he shook them at me. 'We do what we have to do, eh? There was no other choice.'
'No, this is wrong,' I said, striking my fist into the chains. 'There must be another way.'
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