by Karen Rispin
I grinned and nodded. I was tired and sore, but I wasn't about to quit.
Uncle Kurt was at the lift. I was a ways behind Aunt Doreen, so he didn't see me.
"Where have you been all day, Doreen?" he demanded. "Off having fun while I'm stuck with the kids?" He glared at her.
"If that's what you think, I'm sure you're correct," she snapped back. "After all, you're the boss." She went straight past him.
I took a deep breath, touched his jacket, and tried to explain how Aunt Doreen had helped me. He just grunted, still glaring after Aunt Doreen over my head.
Two days later, I was still sore and tired.
"Good news!" Daddy said as soon as he and Mom walked in after lunch. "My liver is fine."
Sandy and I both came running. "We can go home then, right?" Sandy asked.
Sandy was clutching Jake with both arms. He mewed loudly in protest. Sandy said, "Oh, sorry, Jake," and put the kitten down. She and Jake were together all the time.
"Well?" I demanded.
"The doctors want to do more tests," Mom said, "but yes, we probably cab go hobe."
It was like joy started at my belly button and zoomed up through the top of my head. Sandy and I both yelled and danced around.
"We cab go hobe! We cab go hobe!" I said, laughing at how Mom had muddled the words. Sandy joined in, and we danced around the room yelling, "We cab go hobe!"
Mom and Daddy were laughing, too. Then Sandy ran to Daddy and hugged him, and we ended up with everybody in a great big family hug.
I leaned back, looked up at Daddy's face, and asked, "But why have you been so tired if you're not sick?"
He laughed. "Apparently it's just a persistent infection. The doctor said that a course of antibiotics should clear it up, and then I'll be good as new."
"Let's pack!" I said, heading for our room.
"Not so fast," Daddy said. "The doctors want me to stay until they're sure the infection is cleared up. Besides, we want to visit some of our churches."
Tianna came home right after school that day.
"We get to go back to Kenya," I said, following her into her room.
"You're lucky," she said. "I wish I could leave. Today was the pits. I got sent to the principal for swearing at Mr. Pack, but the jerk deserved it. Sharra won't talk to me, and I don't know why." She flopped onto her bed with her hair straggling into her face.
Sandy had followed us in. Jake jumped off her shoulder and onto the bed. Tianna shoved the kitten away from her, and he fell off the bed.
"Hey!" Sandy objected.
Tianna kicked at Jake in a halfhearted way. "Go on!" she said. "Even you don't like me. Mom hates me, Dad hates me, my friends hate me. You were supposed to be my cat, and even you hate me."
The kitten jumped back with his front feet in the air and pounced on her shoe.
"He does not hate you!" Sandy insisted.
Tianna just made a face at her and said, "Be real! You've completely stolen Jake from me." She reached down and grabbed him by the neck. "Here, get him out of here," she said, shoving the mewing kitten at Sandy.
Sandy grabbed him and left. Tianna just sat there staring at the floor.
I shifted uneasily and said, "When we go, Jake will like you best. Especially if you feed him and stuff."
"You sound like Dad—'Don't forget to feed the cat.'"
I bit my lip. "I don't think your mom and dad really hate you," I said. "Anyway, your mom told me she loves you."
"She sure has a weird way of showing it," Tianna said, shuffling her feet on the rug.
"Maybe if you didn't keep trying to bug her so much?" I said.
Tianna flipped over onto her stomach and started bawling. She half yelled through her sobs, "I can't help it! I can't! She hates me anyway. Everybody hates me. I wish I could just stop being alive."
She buried her face in her pillow and kept sobbing really loud. I stared at her with my mouth open. What could I say? I thought about just sneaking out of the room.
"Please help, God," I whispered. Then it hit me. Of course! You love her!
OK, Anika, tell her, I thought. She was crying a little bit quieter now. I swallowed and said, "God loves you." It was kind of hard to get the words out, but I kept talking. "At boarding school, I was all by myself—you know, kind of sad and scared. I used to sing 'Jesus Loves Me.' I know that's a little kids' song, but it really helped."
Tianna looked up at me from under her shaggy bangs. Her nose was running.
I swallowed and kept on. "Jesus really does care, you know. He sent your mom to keep me safe when we were skiing. She showed up just before I almost accidentally went down a black diamond run. God made Daddy's medical tests turn out right, too."
She looked down and didn't answer. In spite of everything that I was saying, I couldn't stop myself from thinking that Jesus sure hadn't answered our prayers about Tianna's family. Things just kept getting worse.
"He does love you," I insisted.
She sniffed loudly. "Maybe if I could get out of here things would be OK. Maybe if I was at your house?"
"I don't know," I said.
"I can come if I want, right?" she asked, looking hopeful.
I couldn't tell her I didn't really know, not now, so I just nodded. I knew I'd better hurry up and talk to Mom and Daddy about it.
That night it was just our family and Tianna. Uncle Kurt was away on a business trip. We waited for ages, but Aunt Doreen didn't come home. Finally we sat down to eat the stew and chapaties Mom had made. It was the best meal yet because nobody yelled at anyone else. Nobody even acted tense or nervous until Sandy wrecked it.
"How come your mom didn't come home?" she asked Tianna.
Tianna just shrugged. I tried to kick Sandy, but couldn't reach her. She wouldn't quit. "How come she never cooks supper or anything? My mom always cooks supper for our visitors—"
Mom and Daddy both interrupted at once.
"Sandy, that's enough!" Daddy said.
"Don't be so quick to judge, Sandy!" Mom said. She looked at Daddy, then went on. "We can't see into Aunt Doreen's life, so we can't really know why she does things the way she does. Anyway, you're wrong about me cooking. Atanas usually cooks for both us and our guests."
"Not on Sunday!" Sandy blurted, and everybody laughed.
"You would never just not come home, or let your guests cook the whole time like Aunt Doreen," Sandy insisted.
"That's enough!" Daddy said again. "Now drop it, or I'll send you from the table."
Just then the phone rang, and Tianna ran to get it. I think she was glad to get away from the table.
"Uncle Kevin," she called, "it's for you, and it sounds like it's long distance."
Daddy went to the phone, then returned to the table a few minutes later. "Well, that was Paul Stewart calling from Kenya. He said we're needed back in Kenya urgently. One of the other Bible school teachers had to leave unexpectedly, and term starts in two weeks."
"What about the other tests?" Mom asked.
"I'm booked for tomorrow morning," Daddy said.
"I'll get some done then and ask if the rest are necessary or could be done in Kenya."
"We're going back right away!" I yelled and jumped up from the table.
Sandy was up, too. She started yelling, "We cab go hope! We cab go hobe!" and dancing around the table.
"Not before you finish your supper," Daddy said with a grin. "Sit down."
Tianna stayed sitting at the table with her head down. She slowly shoved the food around her plate.
The next couple of days were crazy. We spent hours shopping with Mom for stuff we couldn't get in Kenya, and for stuff other people had asked us to bring back. Sandy never did get the money from Uncle Kurt for clothes. I guess he forgot, and Mom and Daddy said we weren't allowed to ask.
Tianna acted kind of weird. Half of the time she acted like I was her best friend, and then she wouldn't even talk to me.
She acted weird with the kitten, Jake, too. Sometimes she
carried him all over the house and wouldn't put him down, and other times she completely ignored him. Mostly she forgot to feed him. Sandy didn't mind, though. That way Jake was more like her own kitten.
In fact, now that we were leaving, Sandy begged and begged to take the kitten with us. "Tianna doesn't like Jake, and nobody feeds him but me," she pleaded.
"Sandy, he isn't your cat," Mom said.
"He is!" Sandy insisted. "He'll starve here."
"Tianna won't let Jake starve, and neither will her parents," Daddy said.
"They will," Sandy insisted, crying.
"We can't take a kitten back with us, and that's final," Daddy said.
The day before we left Tianna didn't come home until after supper, and she reeked with the smell of cigarette smoke.
"That's it!" bellowed Uncle Kurt. "Get to your room. You deserve a whipping, and this time you're going to get it."
"Don't you dare whip that child," said Aunt Doreen as soon as Tianna slammed her door.
"You won't discipline her. She's going to end up just like you, completely self-centered, with no discipline or sense of responsibility. I intend to pound some sense into her."
"If you so much as leave a welt on that child, I'll report you for child abuse!" Aunt Doreen yelled as Uncle Kurt stamped out of the room after Tianna.
He whirled at her words. "Child abuse! Right!" he bellowed. "I'd like to report you for family destruction, but the stupid law doesn't recognize the kind of damage you cause!" He kept arguing and seemed to forget about Tianna.
I went into Tianna's room. She was sitting on her bed, her head down.
"I wish I was going with you tomorrow," she said. I couldn't tell if her voice was full of tears or anger.
"Why don't you ask?" I said. I still hadn't talked to Mom and Daddy about it. To be honest, I was scared to, but there was no way they could say no, was there? Then I remembered how they refused to take the kitten.
"Mom and Dad would just fight again," she said. "They'd never let me go."
We just sat there for a minute.
"Is your dad really going to spank you?" I asked.
"He usually forgets," she answered. "I don't think he really cares. It's just something to fight with Mom about. Dad isn't so bad, only he's gone so much of the time." She shifted and looked up at me through her hair. "You're so lucky! You aren't stuck with parents because you get to go to boarding school. Besides, your parents are halfway decent."
I swallowed and said, "Just remember, God really does love you."
"How come such bad things happen to me, then?" she demanded.
"I don't know. Because of other people's sins, I guess. Mom says that sin always hurts. It hurts the people who do it and people around them, too."
"You mean, like Dad and Mom fighting hurts me?" she asked.
"I guess. I don't really get it all. I just know when I do something wrong, and I ask Jesus to forgive me, I feel way better inside. We had to learn this verse that says, 'The blood of Jesus Christ washes away all sin.'"
Tianna made a face, "That's gross. I don't want blood on me."
I laughed. "Not real blood, silly. Well, not exactly. See, sin causes pain and hurt and death. So if we sin, we should be punished, but Jesus loves us so much that he didn't want that. He let God punish him instead of us, and he even died for us. So it's like his blood kind of erases the sin off of us, because Jesus already paid for it." I paused. "We have to ask him to wash away our sins, though. He doesn't just do it to us. We have to decide to belong to him."
Tianna squirmed. "Come on, let's get out of here." She pulled my arm and headed for the back door.
"Wait a sec," I said. "I'll ask if I can go."
"You really are a goody-goody, aren't you?" she sneered, yanking on her jacket. "I'm going! If you want to come, come—but don't tell your parents. Or are you a tattletale, too? Come on!"
I just stood there trying to decide what to do. It was already dark out.
Tianna said, "Wimp!" and stuck out her tongue at me. Then she left, slamming the door.
Chapter Seven
I stared at the door, Tianna's angry words ringing in my ears. I frowned. Was I a wimp? I bit my lip and wondered where she was going. With a sigh, I went into my room to finish packing.
Later, Mom and Daddy came in to read the Bible with us. We did that every night. Most of the time Tianna had been coming, too.
"Where's Tianna, Anika?" Daddy asked.
I just shrugged without looking up. No matter what Tianna had said, I was no tattletale.
"I was looking forward to one last evening with her," Mom said. "She seems to be really interested in the things of God."
"Maybe she doesn't want to come tonight," I said. "She acted mad at supper."
Sandy had been teasing the kitten with a piece of shoestring as we talked. Now she blurted, "Please, can't we take Jake? He'll be sad without me, even if they do feed him."
Mom looked sad. "Sandy, you already know the answer to that. I'm a bit worried about Jake, too. How about if you pray for him?"
"Why pray for a kitten when Tianna is so upset?" I blurted. "People are more important."
Daddy nodded and said, "God cares for all the creatures he made, but you're right. We will certainly keep on praying for Tianna and her parents. I'm disappointed in how this visit has gone."
"It seems like we made it even worse for Tianna," I said.
"Why don't Uncle Kurt and Aunt Doreen just wise up!" Sandy said. "They're acting so awful."
"That's enough," said Daddy. He opened the Bible and started reading, "'When someone becomes a Christian, he becomes a brand new person inside. He is not the same anymore. A new life has begun! All these things are from God who brought us back to himself through what Christ Jesus did. And God has given us the privilege of urging everyone to come into his favor and be reconciled to him… For God took the sinless Christ and poured into him our sins. Then, in exchange, he poured God's goodness into us!'"
I was half listening and half worrying about Tianna. What Daddy was reading said that we were supposed to bring God's message of peace to people. We sure hadn't done very well with Tianna's family.
That night I couldn't go to sleep. No one had even noticed Tianna was out of the house. I wondered where she was and listened for her to get back. I could hear the low hum of the furnace. Car lights swept across the room now and then. Sandy was breathing with little snores. After a while Mom, Daddy, and Uncle Kurt went into the living room. I could hear them talking.
"Well, Doreen is working late again, and I told her to be here tonight," Uncle Kurt said. "I thought maybe you could talk some sense into her."
Mom answered, and I leaned up on one elbow to hear better. "You can't make people be what you want them to be against their will, Kurt. Even God doesn't do that."
"Well, she ought to listen to me!" Uncle Kurt's voice rose. Daddy's answer was low and quiet, so I slipped out of bed and pushed the door open to hear better. Maybe he'd say something to make Uncle Kurt see that God thinks women are people, too. What Aunt Doreen had said about Jesus having no women disciples still bothered me. With all the rush of getting ready to leave, I hadn't remembered to ask about it.
"Christian leadership isn't that way, Kurt," Daddy was saying. "Christ gave up his life for us. Ephesians 5 says that husbands are to love their wives in the same way. It says that husbands should love their wives as though they were a part of themselves."
"I thought you would be on my side," Uncle Kurt said, sounding hurt and angry. "I thought you'd help me uphold traditional values in this family. Do you think Doreen is behaving properly, then?"
Mom spoke up, and she sounded irritated. "Kurt," she said. "How Doreen behaves has nothing to do with you. Her problems don't excuse your behavior. Your so-called 'traditional' values are pure destructive selfishness. You just want to be in charge and get your own way. That's not Christian at all. The Bible says we are to submit first to Christ, then to one another. We are to consid
er others' interests more important than our own. The husband is to lead for the benefit of his family."
"So now I'm not Christian!" Uncle Kurt half yelled. "I don't need to listen to this."
I could hear his heavy footsteps cross the floor, then the front door slammed. I thought I heard Mom crying, but I couldn't be sure.
I went back to bed, but I lay awake for ages. Thoughts tumbled around in my head. Worry for Tianna was all mixed up with being happy about going home. Everything was just sliding into a dream about skiing when I finally heard Tianna come in and go to her room. I kind of wanted to get up and talk to her, but I was too sleepy.
I didn't see her again before we left, because our plane left really early, and she didn't get up.
Uncle Kurt drove us to the airport, but he would hardly even talk to Mom and Daddy. Sandy was crying about leaving her kitten. I felt strange—happy to be going home and to be getting out of that house, but sad and scared for Tianna. Aunt Doreen's question was also still bothering me.
On the plane all four of us ended up in a row in the center seats. I was next to Daddy. As soon as we were off, I blurted, "How come Jesus didn't have any women disciples?"
Daddy laughed and said, "I want your mother in on this one. Hazel, did you hear the question?"
He repeated it, and Sandy said, "You were listening to Aunt Doreen! She told me that, too, but I didn't listen."
I made a face at Sandy and said, "Well, I want to know. Why didn't Jesus pick any women? Aunt Doreen said the Bible says women aren't as good as men."
"Never believe that!" Daddy said firmly. "All over the world and all through history, Christianity has made men see women as equal with them before God. In pagan societies, men often use their greater physical strength to force their women into roles of virtual slavery. The Bible warns men to treat women gently, as fellow-heirs of the faith. What's more, the Bible tells us that God values us all just the same, regardless of whether we're male or female."