by Kay Edwards
Chapter Fifteen
Logan pulled into the college and maneuvered into a parking space before he looked over at Helen. She was watching him with a smile on her face. “How did I get so blessed” he whispered as he brought her hand to his lips.
“I was just thinking the same thing” Helen’s voice was just as soft as his.
Logan leaned down and brushed her lips with his. “I am so in love with you.” he breathed.
Helen’s heart raced. “I love you too. Sometimes it scares me.”
Being the perfect gentleman, Logan got out and opened the car door for her. As she was getting out, he leaned down and whispered, “It sometimes scares me too.”
Helen smiled up into his face. “It may sound selfish, but that makes me feel better.”
Logan tweaked her nose. “You are such an imp.”
Helen saw Jody and waved. “Well, I think that is my sign it is time to go.”
“I will be here at six o’clock sharp to pick you up. I was thinking Italian?” Logan did not want to be away from her even though he knew he had to.
“That sounds perfect. I love Italian food.” Helen agreed. She smiled as she watched him get back into the car. He started to pull out as she turned and walked toward Jody.
Jody laughed at the blush she saw on Helen’s face. “I take it you and Logan are a couple?”
Helen’s blush deepened bringing, even more, laughter from Jody. “Yes, we are a couple.” Helen rolled her eyes at her new friend’s laughter.
“I am happy for you. I can’t wait to see who God has for me.” Jody said sincerely.
Helen looked at her new friend and asked with excitement “You are a Christian?”
“Yes. I gave my life to Christ when I was sixteen, and I have never looked back. He is my all.” Jody said with passion.
“That means we are not just friends but sisters. How great is that?” Helen said as she linked her arm into Jody’s.
The two continued to class. They were just about there when Helen spotted Tiffany. They slowed their pace and waited for her to catch up.
“Hey, Tiffany how are you?” Helen greeted with a genuine spirit.
“Hey, Helen I am doing great. I am just trying to get to class on time like you two.” she laughed out of breath.
The threesome walked together to class. They all were unaware of the person watching Helen. No one saw or noticed the man. His eyes narrowed as he watched her laugh. She was teasing him. He could tell. The evil man knew it would not be long. He would find Helen alone and then take her again.
Logan pulled into the college parking lot precisely on time. Helen and Jody were sitting on a bench chatting with a third girl. He parked the car and walked over to them. “Hi Jody how are you?” he greeted.
“I think I just got killed on an exam, Logan. It was brutal. Of course, Helen said it was easy. She is a problem. I hope you know what you’re getting yourself into.” Jody joked.
Logan winked at Helen as Jody was giving him the rundown on her. “I will keep that in mind for sure. Thanks for the heads up.”
Jody busted out laughing at Logan’s remark. “I doubt that.”
Helen noticed Tiffany staring at Logan a little star struck “Tiffany,” she started, “I would like you to meet Logan. Logan, this is Tiffany.”
“It is nice to meet you,” Logan said as he shook Tiffany’s hand.
“It is nice to meet you too” Tiffany responded still a bit star struck.
“Well, I guess we should let you two get going.” Jody started “I have a lot of lamenting to do you know? I am telling you that test was a setup.”
Tiffany and Jody walked away with a wave leaving Logan and Helen to themselves. “Are you ready?” Logan asked.
Suddenly feeling shy, Helen answered “I am. Logan?” He could hear that she was uncertain.
He turned and looked at her “Yes.”
Helen's voice trembled as she asked “Are you nervous? I am.”
Logan laughed “Yup, you better believe I’m nervous. As much as we have been together, this is our first date.”
He opened her car door and then went around the car. He got in the drivers’ seat and started the car. Logan chuckled and winked at her as he backed out and headed for the restaurant. Helen giggled feeling a bit more relaxed.
The rest of the evening was great. The couple enjoyed the date as they asked each other questions about what they were like as kids. Each of them shared stories about some of the things they had done causing their parents’ upset. They shared their thoughts on the future. Logan was glad that Helen and Jen would be meeting again. He told her they could go together since he and Jeff would be meeting as well. After they had eaten, they decided to go for a walk and continue talking.
Walking hand in hand, Helen knew she wanted to share more with Logan.
“Logan?” Helen felt like God was prompting her to open up but that did not mean it was comfortable.
Logan looked down at Helen. She suddenly seemed sad. “Yes.”
Helen took a deep breath “Logan, I was nine. I had spent the day at my friend Tammy’s house.” she started to cry “I did not know he was looking at me, Logan. He said I teased him.”
Logan pulled her into his arms. He did not speak but let her finish. “I wanted my mama. I called and screamed. No one heard me. Logan, he hurt me.” she was sobbing now. “I tried to fight I promise I tried to fight, but Logan he raped me. I was so embarrassed by what he did to me I never told.” Helen allowed Logan to hold her. She was even very embarrassed by the confession but knew that God had wanted her to tell Logan.
Logan waited until Helen’s tears subsided. He gently pulled away from her and waited for her to look up at him. When she kept her head down, he softly cupped her chin and tipped her face up. Her eyes were still wet with the tears she had shed. He used his thumb to wipe them from her cheeks. “You did nothing wrong. I know you may feel embarrassed, but I want you to know this does not change how much I love you. Helen, you are stronger than you think. The fact that you told me this shows courage. If something like that had happened to me, I don’t know if I could have told anyone either. A person sinned against you. My heart breaks for what you lost that day my sweet Helen.” Logan did not hide the fact that he was crying. He allowed the tears to flow. He let them express to this woman how much he hurt for her.
“I love you, Logan, but what if what happened to me makes it so I can’t be who you need me to be?” she whispered.
“I only need you to be you. Helen when the time comes for you to be my wife we will figure it out.”
Helen sounded frightened as she said, “That time is coming fast isn’t it Logan?”
“I believe it is. I just trust that God will tell us what to do. Trusting God is all we can do, and if I’m honest, I know it is enough. Can you see that?”
“I can. It’s just hard. This entire thing has been hard, but I would not want it to change.” Helen confessed softly.
Logan kissed her forehead. “I would not change it either. I look back at my life two weeks ago and wonder how one tiny woman could have changed it. I then remember it was God that changed my life. I could not be the man you need standing here today if He had not heard my confession.”
“How did we fall in love so fast? What happens after the benefit to us? You have a life that is not here.” Helen’s fears surfaced. She was suddenly very scared of what the future held.
Logan held her closer. He knew that some things would need to be figured out. He had been thinking about them since they had talked on Sunday and decided that they were a couple. He had already started making plans with his agent to scale back on many of the appearances he was going to be doing. He also had him put his townhouse in New York City up for rent. “I’m staying Helen. I cannot leave you. The thought of not seeing you is too much for me. I also feel that Jeff and I need to talk weekly. M
y life is here now. God has made that more than clear to me. I may need to travel at times, but I even had that scaled back. Things that I knew would not bring glory to God were changed the first week I was here. The rest of those things were changed after our talk on Sunday.”
Helen had pulled back when he finished speaking. She asked her next question concerned, “Are you sure?”
“I have never been as sure of anything in my life aside from the fact I needed Christ.”
“Logan,” Helen started hesitantly “After what I told you…” she looked down trying to find the words she wanted to say. “Logan, do you look at me as dirty as used? When I think about it, I feel dirty.”
“I look at you as brave strong and lovely. You had no choice in what happened to your body. Please try to see yourself as those things because you are not dirty. Sin is dirty. You did not sin. I wish that I could say that. When I think of the things that I have done, I feel dirty. I was willingly sinning against God.”
He looked down at her. She was so hurt. He could see her taking the blame for things she could not have stopped. He did not know what to do to help her when he heard her whisper.
“It was not my sin. It is not my sin.” Helen looked up at Logan and repeated it. “It was not my sin, Logan. It is not my sin.”
They looked into each other’s eyes for a clue of what to do next. When she glanced at his lips, Logan knew she would not pull away. He was aware that what had been talked about would not be what she thought about when he kissed her. Logan leaned down and did just that, he kissed her lips and then pulled her back into his embrace. “You belong here in my arms,” he said resting his chin on her head.
The couple knew that it was time for their first date to end but still took just a little more time to hold each other. They had grown that night as a couple. With growth came growing pains. They endured them together.