He missed being on a horse. Missed the freedom of knowing he could go anywhere, do anything on the ranch. The four-wheeler got him around, but he felt like a cripple, still too broken to handle Chan, his chestnut Sorrel. Every time he brushed his horse down, Chan stared at him, a soulful reproach glistening in his eyes. Nathan had decided to give himself another week, then to hell with what Doc Johnson said. He was getting back on his horse if it killed him.
“I always knew there were perks to being the boss. Are you going to sit there all day or are you going to do some work?” Matthew held Dutch’s reins in one hand, wiping the sweat from his face with the other.
Nathan grinned at his brother. “Someone has to keep an eye on what’s going on around here. I thought you’d be inside by now.”
“Sean called. He found a fence down on Pine Ridge so I helped him fix it before it got too dark. What are you doing out here?”
“Thinking.”
“Well don’t think too hard. Are you still on for poker tonight?”
“Wouldn’t miss it.” He’d only been in town twice since the barn fire for poker with the boys. For longer than he could remember they’d met at someone’s house every Friday, filling themselves to the brim with pizza, steak and anything that didn’t involve the color green. As soon as some of his friends started getting married they’d trimmed the boys only night back to every second Friday. They’d alternated babysitting duties with poker, giving the wives a chance to hit downtown Bozeman like a tornado looking for touchdown.
“I’m leaving straight after dinner. Trent’s got some news you won’t want to miss.”
Nathan couldn’t imagine anything topping what they’d heard six months earlier. Trent had returned from a Cattle Raisers’ Conference in Las Vegas with a new bride and a barrel full of problems. “He’s not taking Gracie to Las Vegas again is he?”
“Nope.” Matthew turned Dutch toward the homestead. “It’s bigger than Vegas.”
“Gracie’s pregnant?” Nathan couldn’t imagine anything bigger than news of a baby on the way, and it would account for the grin plastered across Trent’s face every time he saw him. But he’d assumed that had to do with married life, and too much of everything that Nathan didn’t have.
“I’ll let Trent tell the story.” Matthew pulled his hat lower, casting a wary glance at the buffalo. “I’ll see you at mom and dad’s place.”
Nathan watched his brother gallop away. He’d seen Trent two weeks ago at the sale yards and he hadn’t mentioned anything about Gracie. In between eyeballing Tim Heinkes’ red angus bulls they’d talked about the ranch vacation business that Trent planned on starting in the spring. But knowing Gracie, anything could have happened since then.
A dark cloud moved across what was left of the sinking sun. Nathan watched shadows dance between mountain peaks, turning their breathless beauty into something dark and forbidding.
They’d already had enough snow to make some people in town predict a bumper ski season was on its way. In a couple of weeks hordes of tourists would start heading toward Bridger Bowl, skis strapped to the top of their trucks and a head full of plans about what trails they’d be conquering.
He turned the key in the ignition and spun the bike around, knowing his skis wouldn’t see the light of day this season. He might be going stir crazy, but he wasn’t a fool. One fall on the hard packed ice could seal his fate, and there was no way he was going to end up in the hospital again.
His hands tightened on the handlebars. It was a pity he couldn’t have used the same logic to engage his brain before he’d kissed Amy. More than once, and more than had to be good for either of them. So much for taking things slowly. He never thought she’d take him up on his therapy offer and he still didn’t know what had changed her mind.
As he roared across the ranch he knew one thing. He might not know what was going through Amy’s head, but he’d find out.
He only hoped it had nothing to do with Brett Forster.
Amy yawned and left the book she’d been reading face-down on the couch. Boots lifted one eye, watching her as she pulled herself upright, stretching muscles that weren’t used to working out in a gym.
After she’d finished her shift at the hospital she’d taken Catherine to the library, stocking up on another week’s worth of picture books about cuddly kittens. Ever since they’d started living with the Andersons’ three cats, Catherine had been fascinated by her furry friends. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out they were going to be looking for a kitten once they found a home of their own. Even though she’d never owned a pet in her life, the Andersons’ cats had managed to work their way into their lives until she couldn’t imagine not having a cat around the house to keep them company.
Boots went back to sleep, not even twitching when someone tapped lightly on the front door.
Amy frowned, glancing at the clock on the wall. No one came visiting at ten o’clock at night. Her heart thumped against her ribs when she realized who could be on the other side of the door. It would be just like her to arrive unexpectedly, unwanted and without a care in the world.
She grabbed a log from beside the fireplace, just in case it wasn’t her mom. Amy couldn’t remember locking the front door and she wasn’t taking any chances. Her hands had been full of books, baby and bags when they’d arrived home. As soon as they’d walked in the house, Monty had taken up residence beside Catherine and Amy had made a quick exit out the front door to check the mailbox, rushing back inside before the cold wind froze her solid.
Whoever was outside knocked again. Amy moved across the room, pushing back the sheer curtains beside the door. Relief washed through her body. Nathan stood outside, his blonde hair almost white under the bright glare from the security lights. She didn’t know whether the thud of her heart had to do with the thought of a stranger breaking into the house, her mom, or Nathan standing like a Greek God on the Andersons’ front porch.
He tapped on the glass in front of her nose and she jumped a mile. She needed to act like an adult, not go googley-eyed over a man she’d known half her life. Last night she’d temporarily forgotten what was important. But the phone conversation she’d had this afternoon had put everything back into perspective.
If anyone saw Nathan standing outside they’d put two and two together and come up with five. And she wasn’t going to be the centre of town gossip. Not now when it could hurt her sister the most.
She opened the door, grabbed the collar of Nathan’s sheepskin jacket and hauled him into the house. At any other time the surprise on his face would have made her laugh. But not tonight. At ten o’clock. When Mrs. O’Grady, community watchdog and best friend of Jessie Adams happened to be her neighbor. “You shouldn’t be here,” she hissed.
The smile on his face turned to a frown. “What’s wrong with seeing you?” His gaze drifted down her body, stopping when he got to her hand. “Were you going to use that block of wood on me or were expecting someone else?”
She cleared her throat, straightening her shoulders until her bones nearly popped out of their sockets. She glanced down and wished she’d left her jeans and t-shirt on. Pale blue pajamas and pink fluffy slippers might give a certain cowboy the wrong impression of why she’d opened her front door. Gripping the log tighter, she waved it toward his chest. “It’s my insurance against men who come visiting when they should know better. What are you doing here?”
“I was heading home from Greg’s.” He glanced at the wood. “Your lights were on.”
“That’s no excuse. What if someone saw you?”
Nathan stepped back as the log whipped in front of his nose. With a muttered oath he took it out of her hand. “You’re going to blind me with that thing.” He walked across to the fireplace and left it on the hearth. “Do you want to tell me why you’re so concerned about everyone else all of a sudden?”
“It’s not all of a sudden.”
“You didn’t care if anyone saw us together last night.”
&n
bsp; “Last night was different. And we weren’t together...not like that.”
Nathan dropped his hat on the sofa and stared at her with a crazy mix of suspicion and worry shadowing his face. “It was a damn sight closer to anything either of us has gotten in the last few years. And if you tell me it meant nothing, I’ll know you’re lying.”
Amy looked away, reaching for a blanket folded on the end of the sofa. Flicking it open, she wrapped it around her shoulders and sent Nathan the same glare that kept every man she’d ever met at arms length. If he knew how much she’d been thinking about last night he wouldn’t be standing there like a bear with a prickle in his paw.
“It’s not a good idea.”
Nathan looked confused.
“You. Me. We’re not a good idea.”
He jammed his hands in his jacket pockets. “What changed your mind?”
Amy bit her bottom lip. Pulling the blanket closer, she sank into the nearest seat. “We don’t need therapy. Not with each other, anyway.”
“What do you mean?”
The grit in Nathan’s voice was enough to send Boots flying off the sofa. Amy watched the cat’s tail disappear out the door and wished she could follow him.
“Amy? What’s going on?”
“Nothing’s going on. That’s the whole point. I feel differently about you. If anyone else had been with me last night and well...I would have run a mile. He wouldn’t have gotten one button undone.” She scowled at Nathan’s lopsided smile. “I don’t know why you’re feeling so good about everything. I practically ripped your shirt off and threw myself at you. I don’t need therapy sessions, I need a brain transplant.”
“That’s a good thing, isn’t it?”
“It’s the worst thing that could happen.” She yanked the blanket higher as Nathan took his jacket off and dropped down onto the sofa beside her. “You’re my best friend’s brother. I’ve known you most of my life. People will talk.” Especially if Sally didn’t get rid of the grin on her face whenever she talked about Nathan and Amy in the same sentence.
“So this isn’t about experimenting with someone else?”
“What?” If Nathan’s arm hadn’t shot out and jammed her against the arm of the sofa she would have been half-way across the room by now. “Let me go, you big oaf. I should never have smooched you. If you want to get up close and personal with someone else that’s your business, but keep away from me.” She twisted to the left, but the darn blanket wrapped tight around her body like a mini straightjacket.
“Calm down, Amy. I don’t want to see anyone else.”
She tried to push her hands out of the blanket, but Nathan’s arm locked her to the seat. “Why did you say you wanted to experiment then?”
“I didn’t. I was wondering if you did.”
“Me?” Amy stopped struggling. She turned to Nathan and watched a dull blush work its way up his neck. He sat back in the sofa, letting his arm drop back to his knees.
“You seemed...umm...to enjoy what happened last night, and I ...well I thought you might want to...”
Amy’s mouth dropped open. “You think I’m cheap?”
“No!” Nathan clamped his arm down before she could move. “No, I just thought that...damn it, would you stop twisting like a worm and listen to what I’m saying?”
“If you made any sense, I’d listen to you, but all I’ve heard so far is that you think I’m the town tramp.”
“I don’t think that.”
Nathan glared at her, his breath fanning her cheek in short, sharp bursts that matched her own. Then something in his gaze shifted, moved toward a deep, dark place that she’d seen last night. He lifted his arm from her body to her head, his fingers brushing against the side of her face. “I want to kiss you, but if I do that you’re going to think that’s all I came here for. And that’s not the reason.”
Amy didn’t think his coming here to kiss her was such a bad idea at all. Not when his fingers were rubbing small slow circles against her skin. The same spot he’d licked and kissed last night until she couldn’t think straight. The same spot that would get her into trouble if she didn’t move away.
She held onto Nathan’s hand, pulling it away from her face. “Catherine’s case worker called. Mom wants to meet me tomorrow.” Her voice dropped to a whisper and her stomach twisted into knots. She felt as if she’d just given her sister a life sentence and she couldn’t do anything about it.
Nathan’s fingers tightened on her hands. He pulled her against his chest, dropping his chin to the top of her head. “I thought you had another week before she arrived?”
“So did I,” Amy sighed, too tired and worried to do anything but relax against Nathan. “I guess something happened to change their plans.” And that something would have been her mother. Carmen Sullivan never did anything by the rule book. She’d spent her whole life ignoring what most people took for granted and she wouldn’t let a little thing like a court order change her ways.
“What time is she arriving?”
“I didn’t ask. All I know is that we’re meeting at the community centre at two o’clock. She could be in Bozeman right now for all I know.” Amy felt a wave of panic thread along her spine. “When you knocked on the door, I thought it might have been her.”
“So you grabbed a hunk of wood?”
The smile in Nathan’s voice made Amy feel slightly better. “It was either that or throw Boots at her. But he’s such a big softy that he would have curled around her shoulders and gone to sleep.”
“Do you want me to come with you?”
Amy pulled back, surprised that he’d want to get tangled up in her problems. “You’d do that?”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“I thought you’d be busy on the ranch.”
Nathan tapped the end of her nose. “I can spare a couple of hours. Besides, it’s either go with you or help Sally decorate mom and dad’s place for Thanksgiving.”
“I guess I should be flattered that you rate Catherine and I above a six foot plastic turkey.”
“If it gets me out of blowing the thing up I’ll even throw in dinner.” A smile pulled at the corner of his mouth. “You can put that scowl away. Everyone has to eat some time. Think of it as sharing a table with me.”
“As long as I’m not sharing anything else.”
“Spoilsport,” Nathan whispered.
Amy cleared her throat. “It’s a deal, then.” She pulled Catherine’s purple bunny blanket closer as she stood up. “I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon.”
“Are you kicking me out into the cold, dark night?”
“Someone has to.” Amy’s throat went dry as Nathan stretched like a full grown tom cat on the prowl. She walked across to the front door, determined to ignore the chuckle coming from behind her.
“There’s no point taking two vehicles. I’ll pick you and Catherine up at one-thirty. Lock the door after me.” He pulled his hat low on his head, grinning at the frown on her face. “You bring out the best in me.”
“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but bossy doesn’t get a mention under the qualities a woman most admires in a man.”
“It’s just as well I’m not after your admiration then, isn’t it?”
Amy didn’t need to be told what he was after. One look at the heat in his eyes and she knew. She opened the front door, sucking in a lungful of cold air before waving him through in case he’d forgotten he was leaving.
As soon as he was on the porch she locked the door and pulled the safety chain across for good measure. She heard Nathan’s truck rumble in the still night air and imagined every curtain along the street twitching as her neighbors watched her late night visitor leave.
Boots wandered into the hallway, wrapping his warm body around her legs. She bent down and scratched under his chin, smiling at the contented purr coming from her furry bodyguard. And for the first time since the call from Catherine’s case manager, she thought the meeting with her mom might not be as bad as she’d thought i
t would be.
CHAPTER NINE
Amy wasn’t someone that gave into hysterics. She hardly ever raised her voice and she most definitely didn’t turn into a soggy emotional mess when her life hit rock bottom. She’d scrapped herself out of more corners than most people had the misfortune to meet and managed to hold her head up high. Until today.
Her mom sat opposite her in a black vinyl chair looking just as uncomfortable as Amy felt. Every now and then they’d both dart anxious glances at Catherine sitting as happy as you please in her stroller.
“Do you want me to take Catherine for a walk?” Nathan stood up, and Catherine lifted her arms in the air.
“No.”
Amy bit her tongue as the sharp whip of her mom’s voice turned every head in the room toward her.
Catherine’s case worker cleared her throat. “I think that’s a good idea, Nathan. If you could give us fifteen minutes alone, that would be great.”
He picked up Catherine and the yellow snow suit they’d left on a chair. “We passed an indoor play area when we came in. If it’s still open I’ll take her there.” Nathan sent a concerned glance toward Amy. “Come and get me if you need me.”
She nodded her head, knowing full well she didn’t want him to see more of the woman that had abandoned her daughters. She shouldn’t have let Nathan come with them. He’d leave here thinking Amy could turn into another Carmen Sullivan. That Amy might have inherited the same gene that made her less dependable, less honest than half the human population.
Catherine waved her fist over Nathan’s shoulder and Amy waved back. No matter how much she wanted to pretend that everything was fine, she couldn’t return her sister’s smile.
Carmen stared resolutely ahead, ignoring the gurgling infant clutched in Nathan’s arms. Amy didn’t know whether her mom didn’t care, or if she’d spent so long ignoring the fact that she had a baby that she didn’t know how to act around Catherine. The uncharitable part of her thought that the only person her mom had ever cared about was herself.
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