by Cat Mann
Chapter 13
Blame
“Can you describe any defining features? Hair or eye color? Any tattoos or scars?”
Ava and I sat with my mother in her kitchen and talked with police. Tears streamed down my mom’s cheeks and a growing pile of tissues mounted up on her lap.
“I … it just happened so quickly. I looked up, saw people and ran. I can’t remember many details. I’m in such shock. This is such a peaceful neighborhood. Why would someone do this?”
“That’s what we are trying to figure out, Ma’am. Take a deep breath and try to calm down. Close your eyes and envision what it is you saw. Talk us through the minutes before it all happened. That might help jog your memory.”
“Oh … um, ok.” My mom gulped air and closed her eyes. “Ari called me around eleven and asked me to check on the house. He wanted to know if Ava had come home from her appointment. So, I left Max with Lauren -- the two of them were busy in front of the television. I went the way I always do and walked up their deck towards the back sun porch.”
“Alright, did you notice anything different about the deck or porch?” The officer urged her to continue.
“No … I don’t think so.”
“When you walked in the house, you went through the back door?” he prompted.
“Yes, the glass kitchen door.”
“Did you have a key?”
“No.”
“Do you normally use a key?”
“I didn’t bring my spare because I know where they hide an extra key.”
“Did you use that key?”
“Yes. It was under the cactus pot like always.”
“Ava, did you lock the door before you left in the morning?” The police officer turned to her.
“Yes,” she frowned.
“All the doors were locked?”
“Um. I don’t remember. Maybe?”
“You have a home alarm system. Did you engage the alarm this morning before you left the house?”
“I don’t know. I can’t remember. I was really rushed.”
“Alright. Agatha, continue please. What did you see after you entered the home?”
“I walked into the kitchen and I didn’t notice anything right away. Ari asked me to check to see if Ava’s car was in the garage and I did. There were no cars there and I only glanced in -- nothing caught my attention -- and I just closed the door back up. That’s when I noticed Ava’s phone on the counter -- which was why Ari couldn’t reach her -- and I saw her watch, ring and necklace.”
“Ava, did you leave those items on the kitchen counter?”
“Yes,” She nodded. “I was running late. I just forgot to grab everything.”
“Alright. Continue.” The officer nodded back at my mother.
“Right after that, I heard talking and just assumed it was their bedroom television. They leave it on quite often,” she added.
Ava face pinched tight, “No, we don’t.”
“The sounds were coming from upstairs then?” The officer re-directed them back to the matter at hand.
“Yes, from their room.”
“Do you know what they were saying? What the conversation was about?”
“No, the talking was muffled. Then I started to notice the mess, but it didn’t really register in my brain as an intrusion. I just thought the kids had probably had a busy weekend chasing after Max. Mess happens,” my mother said, shrugging her shoulders. “Then I stepped in a pile of glass and found a shattered picture frame. I started to clean it up but Ari told me to get out of the house. I ignored him at first, but after he said people were in the house, everything just hit me all at once and I knew he was right. I looked up and there they were, standing at the upstairs balcony right above me.”
“Ok, good. Try to describe everything in your mind’s eye. How many people where there, how tall, what did they look like? Were these men or women?”
“I think there were two, maybe three. I saw a man, he was the only one I got a clear view of. He was tall, taller than Ari, and he had short buzzed hair. His eyebrows were dark and bushy. He looked very strong … you know, well built? He was intimidating. There was someone standing behind him, to the side. I think it may have been a woman, I saw a lot of hair, long hair, and the person was much shorter than the man, real petite, like Ava. But the man blocked her from my view and I didn’t get a good enough glance. Like I said, I just ran.”
“Have you ever seen these people before? Did you recognize them?”
“No. No, never. At least, I don’t think so. I didn't see the woman’s face. Something about her seemed vaguely familiar, but then again, I don’t really know.”
“Did anyone see you?”
“Yes. He was watching me. I don’t know how long he was standing there but I know he was watching me.”
The officer jotted down my mother’s statement. “Can you remember anything else -- anything at all that you think seemed strange or that stands out in your mind? Did you see a vehicle? Did you see anyone leave the house? Was there any unusual behavior around the house earlier that morning?”
“No … I don’t know …” My mother cried some more. “It was just so scary.” Her fingers shook and she dabbed the corners of her eyes with a wadded up and over-used tissue.
Ava got up from her chair at the kitchen table, refilled my mother’s tea and set a new box of tissues down in front of her. Ava was quiet and hadn’t said much at all since we arrived at my parent’s house. She seemed nervous or apprehensive. Her silence made me feel even more on edge than I already was.
Static and mumbled speech called out through the officer’s radio and he stood from the chair. “Would you two mind doing a walkthrough of your home? Then we can get an idea of what's stolen and you'll be able to assess the damage.”
“Sure,” I said and turned to Ava. “Baby, why don’t you stay here? I can check things out on my own. You don’t need to see our house like that.”
“No.” Her head shook from side to side. “I’m going.”
“Ok.” I reached out and took her hand, knowing that I would lose the fight with her about staying back with Max in the safety of my mother's house. The two of us followed Officer Bryant next door.
The cell, wedding ring, necklace and watch were sitting untouched on the edge of the kitchen counter. Ava's brow puckered as she eyed them speculatively. I was pretty sure she was thinking the same thing I was – that the presence of her personal effects there in the kitchen pretty much obviated a motive of theft -- but neither of us chose to comment on it.
Glass crunched under our feet at the entrance of the living room and a frame that once hung on the opposite wall lay broken on the floor. My mother was right, there was scattered glass everywhere, but I could see how she didn’t notice the chaos right away. The small shards were nearly invisible against the floors. Only when the sunlight beamed in from the great window was the glass made visible, reflecting and bending the rays to illuminate the walls with daylight and an occasional bling of rainbowed color.
“Oh!” Ava blinked after she took in the sight of the room. My glance bounced around the great big room. Nothing appeared to be missing. The stereo and entertainment equipment along with the TV were unharmed. We had a state of the art in-house speaker system that was intact, and Ava’s iPad and MacBook sat untouched on a sofa cushion right where we had left them the day before. Our random collection of belongings had been scattered about and knocked around and had fallen over or been broken. Every picture on our fireplace mantel was smashed. Our bookshelf was a disheveled mess and more glass from other framed photos were in shards on the floor. I watched Ava and waited for a reaction. She remained composed and quiet as she observed the violence that our home had suffered.
We walked in silence room by room through our entire house just as we did on the night I proposed to Ava, and, just as then, I watched her and waited nervously for her reaction -
- for something, any kind of sign or hint as to what was going on in her head. She is always far too composed at all the wrong times. Officer Bryant, trailing behind us, reminded the two of us to touch as little as possible. We moved through the den, laundry room and spare bedrooms and each room was the same -- shattered picture glass covered the floors. We walked hand in hand up the stairwell towards Max’s room. One small photo of Max with me was smashed on his dresser. It had been taken earlier in the summer when my father took us out on his new catamaran. We had spent the morning fishing and Max caught a blue perch the size of my hand. The picture showed the two of us proudly holding Max’s first catch before letting it go back to the sea. A tear slipped down Ava’s cheek and her free arm wrapped protectively over her tummy. She closed Max’s door behind her.
A feeling of dread overcame me.
Ava didn’t talk until we reached the open doorway to our bedroom. And when she opened her mouth to talk, her words were drowned out by an onslaught of fierce tears and emotion. Our room was trashed. Ava gasped and shoved her face into the nook between my shoulder and chest. Her body trembled.
We cherish our memories and every room of our home proudly puts those memories on display with a lifelong chronicle of pictures. A good percentage of the pictures we had carefully placed in our bedroom, setting them on Ava’s dressing table, on the nightstands and the armoire. We had even hung boudoir frames in the walk-in closet and in our bathroom. Each one had been smashed to pieces. The frame that covered the space above the headboard of our king-sized bed had held various images of the two of us knotted together in profound closeness and was now completely destroyed. The glass was shattered into a million little pieces and the pictures that had been tucked underneath lay ripped to shreds on the bed and floor.
Blood coursed through my veins so fast my heart felt that at any moment it would simply explode. I was angry. This wasn’t a robbery. This was personal and it had been born of hate. The act came from evil and was intended as a warning. Nothing had been stolen and nothing was missing, but our lives had been reduced to broken images on the floor.
“I’ll give you two a moment. You should pack an overnight bag for the evening. You can’t stay here tonight.”
I waited for the officer to leave and join the few others in uniform who had been collecting evidence and snapping photos of the scene.
“Who did this? What are you keeping from me?” I pulled Ava back away from my chest and held her back at an arm’s reach. My jaw tightened, my molars crunched behind my ears and I demanded details from Ava through my closed teeth.
“What?” She wiped tears from her face.
“Who did this? What is going on? You're keeping something from me, I know it. If our family is in danger, you have to tell me. This isn’t just about you.”
“Ari, what are you talking about?” She yanked her shoulders free from my grip. “I have no clue why someone would break into our home. You think I had something to do with this? I am feeling utterly violated! A stranger has been in our son’s room and you think I had something to do with it? That I knew this would happen? How dare you!”
“You're keeping something from me. What is it? Is it The Kakos -- there are more, right? You just don’t want to tell me. Someone is after you again? Tell me Ava, now!” I was angry and she was appalled.
“What? No. I don’t know. I don’t know anything!”
“Why were you with the doctor for so long? What’s going on with you?”
“Nothing is going on with me!” she screamed.
“You're lying to me.”
“I’m through here! You’re a jerk, Ari!” She stormed off in the direction of the stairs, turned and then yelled, “I can't believe you said what you just said! You’re such an ass!”
“I’m fine!” she squawked at a concerned police officer downstairs and stormed out of the house. From the bedroom window, I watched her walk up the beach, away from my parent’s house. She was going to August, I knew. And she still had no cell.
“Hello?” August grumbled when he answered my call.
“Ava is headed down to see you. She’s on foot with no cell. Would you please keep an eye out for her and text me after she gets there?”
“Oh, sure.”
“Thanks, August.”
“Everything alright?”
“No. Not even close. Someone broke into our home and completely trashed the place. My mom is frightened to death and to top it all off, I’ve gone and pissed off Ava.”
“Holy cow! Are you serious? Someone broke into your house? Is anybody hurt?” What can we do to help?” he asked and I heard him call “Collin!” while holding his hand over the mouthpiece.
“We’re rattled but okay. I just need you to bring Ava back down to my parent’s house after she’s done bitching about me. And maybe try to calm her down a bit?”
“That might take a while.”
“I’m sure it will.”
We hung up and I packed an overnight bag, trying to touch as few things as possible, all the while dodging sharp shards of glass. The thought passed through my mind that we would probably be picking hard-to-see slivers up off the floor and out of the bottoms of our feet for as long as we lived in the house. I talked briefly with Officer Bryant and told him that it didn’t appear that anything had been stolen. If something had been taken, it was small, nothing immediately noticeable.
“Your mother must have scared them away before they could take any goods.”
“You really believe that crap?” I had lost any patience I may have had that day.
Officer Bryant instantly became defensive. “Break-ins similar to this one have become more popular with celebrity homes. The fans get a little obsessive and sneak in the house when no one's home to try and get a glimpse of celebrity life. They may even take a little souvenir or two.” His nonchalance was insulting.
“My wife isn’t a celebrity. You can see the extent of the damage here. No one was trying to “take a little souvenir.” My wife and I are victims of a crime. Her ties with some stupid clothing line have nothing to do with this. There is well over one hundred thousand dollars in jewelry right there in plain sight.” My finger jabbed the air at Ava’s belongings. “Those people, whoever they were, had to walk by Ava’s diamond more than once. This wasn’t just any break-in. If they wanted to steal our things, they would have.”
“We're still gathering information. More details will come out in the investigation.”
“Bull shit. I'd put money on the table that I’ll never hear from you again.”
I shoved Ava’s ring, necklace, watch and cell into my pocket and left. I couldn’t tolerate being in my own house any longer. The sight of the broken glass, the police moving in a seemingly random way from room to room, and our belongings thrown carelessly about the house – all of it was overwhelming. Too many questions that would very likely remain unanswered whirled in my head. I was certain that what had happened in our home on this day was not random, nor was the perpetrators' goal a chance to steal valuables or to get a glimpse of Ava’s life. This crime was meant for us and us alone ... and it shouted hate.
It was evening before I got back to my parent’s home with a pathetic and haphazardly packed overnight bag for three tossed over my shoulder. A text from August whistled through my phone right before I walked in through the back door letting me know Ava had arrived at the condo.
The crowd in my mom’s kitchen had grown since we left. My father, uncle, aunt and Rory had all left work immediately and headed straight for home. My sister, Julia and Max were seated at the island. Max was eating a hotdog and chips.
“Where’s Ava?” three people asked me at once.
I sighed, “Well I’m just fine -- and thanks for asking. How are all of you?”
“Ari, honey, no one asked you how you were.”
“I … God, Ma, jeeze, it’s sarcasm. That was the point.”
> “I don’t get it.” She batted her eyes. “Where did Ava go? What was your house like? Was anything stolen?”
“Nothing is missing,” I said and yanked down my tie. “The house is a disaster; I don’t know how we'll ever clean all the broken glass or replace our pictures, most of which have been ripped to pieces. Ava’s with August. They'll be along later.” I had opened the refrigerator and was talking into it as I pulled out the rest of a jumbo pack of hotdogs, relish, onions and mustard.
“What are you doing?” My mother stood up from her chair and half of the tissues she had used fell from her lap to the floor.
“I am freaking starving! I’ve not eaten all day. Ava and I are stuck crashing here tonight so I am making us dinner.”
“Ari, sit, I’ll make you a nice meal.” She took the hotdog pack out of my hands.
“I want a hotdog,” I said and pulled the pack back from her.
“No, you don’t. Those are for Max when he’s here. I’ll make us something we can all enjoy. I’m sure everyone is ready to eat.” She took the pack away from me again and opened the refrigerator to put them away.
“Ma, I want a hotdog.” My fist wrapped around the refrigerator handle, keeping it open. I refused to let her close the door.
“Don’t be silly!” She tried to shove the door closed.
My knuckles around the handle tightened. “My house was trashed, some assholes broke nearly everything I love, Ava’s mad at me and I am starving. All I want is to eat a hotdog. Why can’t you just let me do this one thing?” If I had been speaking to anyone other than my own mom, I would have used the “f-word” by now, several times. I wanted to scream the word so badly, I had to bite my own tongue. My mom knew it too.
“Would anyone else like a hotdog for dinner?” she said, capitulating completely and sniffling a little at having failed to control the dinner situation. Everyone in the kitchen raised a hand.
“I’ll be on the deck.” I took the jumbo pack back from her limp hand, gathered the buns and all the condiments, hauled them to the back deck and tossed them onto the table. I sat by the grill, spread the hotdogs over the heat and kicked my feet up on the deck railing. The sun seemed to be only inches from the horizon and the few clouds in the sky were a swirl of purple, orange and pink.
“Hiya, Daddy.”
“Oh, hey!” I let out a breath and smiled for the first time since the morning, then scooped Max onto my lap. He leaned the back of his head into my chest and we stared out to sea together. His little hand crept up and found comfort on my cheek. His fingers smelled like ketchup and salt and his hair smelled like Ava’s shampoo.
“I love you, sweet boy.” I breathed him in again and was thankful he was unharmed and clueless about the day’s disaster.
“Love you,” he yawned.
“This sunset, Max used to be my favorite view. All day, I would look forward to sitting right here to watch the sky fill up with beautiful colors and see the sun sparkle on the waves and then kiss the sea before disappearing from sight. Then one day I met Ava and I saw her smile. Her cheeks turned the same shade of pink as the sky did.” I pointed towards the rosy cotton candy-like clouds. “Now this magnificent sight pales in comparison to her.”
He nuzzled his head in even closer to me and relaxed in the dip of my arm. “My mom, your Yaya, used to tease me and say that the only girl I would ever love was the sea. I spent all my time with the waves, telling the cool waters my secrets. My favorite color was that sweet, vibrant green that only the ocean can create. Then I locked eyes with Ava and saw the prettiest sea green imaginable. Her eyes sparkle like calm water in the sun. And in her eyes, I saw my whole world, my reason to breathe. Now, the sea green of her eyes is the only color I see and she’s the only one I love. The sea is jealous of her.”
Max giggled at the idea.
“I was a fool when I met Ava. I had no idea what I was getting myself into when it came to love. I thought I knew everything. I had no clue that love was this powerful. I never imagined that I could love this much. I hope one day that you get to love someone the way I love Ava. And that that person loves you the way Ava loves me.”
“Hey.” A firm hand patted my shoulder and I glanced up at my father. “Don’t mean to interrupt, but we're starving, too...” He thumbed the small gathering of people standing behind him waiting, not particularly patiently, for something to eat. I rolled the hot dogs into a pile and passed them out like money to greedy, hungry hands. Even my mother had one. I waited for Ava to come home and my shoulders sloped in relief after I heard her and August at the bottom of the deck steps.
“Oh, wow, whatever that is, it smells delicious,” Ava said to August and she climbed the stairs.
I had her plate ready with two dogs drowning in mustard and relish and a side of crunchy chips. Max skipped to the gate and greeted her with a hug around her leg. She peppered the top of his head with kisses then raised him up by his underarms and balanced him on her hip. Her stomach stuck out more than Max could wrap his leg around so instead he hitched his knee over the top of her belly. She skirted around the pool and August winked up at me, giving me the all clear signal. Very likely she was still mad at me, but at least the risk of her throwing something at my head had diminished thanks to his efforts.
Max whispered in Ava’s ear and she paused at the edge of the table where everyone sat. Her eyes narrowed and her forehead scrunched as she strained to understand what he was saying.
“Daddy said the sea doesn’t like me?” Her nose crinkled like a bunny. “Why would he say that?”
“That’s not what I said! Max, tell her that’s not what I said.”
“Is too.”
Food had recently become the quickest way to Ava’s heart and I knew hotdogs were one of her latest weaknesses. I held her plate up as a way of surrender and she put Max down on his feet and traded him in for her supper.
“Thanks.” She actually smiled at me. “I've wanted one of these since breakfast.” Ava’s teeth sunk around her first hotdog and she closed her eyes, moaned, and then licked the mustard from the corner of her mouth.
“Did the police say anything after I left? Do they have a lead or anything? Any prospects?” She crunched a chip.
“Uh,” I scratched a cheek. She wasn’t going to like this at all. “They are kind of thinking that this is related to those celebrity vandalisms they've been seeing up in L.A.”
“What?” her nose scrunched again.
“It’s been in the news lately – evidently there's a group of loser thrill seekers who have been breaking into celebrity homes and stealing stuff.”
“I haven't heard about it...”
“Yeah, well, I guess it’s been happening for about a year now. They caught some people a few months back, and now others are mimicking the behavior. Breaking into known people’s homes is sorta the trend now.”
“That’s absurd.”
“You know that one chick who was in that new zombie movie?”
“Kimmie Lovelace?” My sister chimed into the conversation.
“Yeah, that one. They got her house last week and apparently, it got trashed too.”
“You don’t actually believe that is what happened to us do you? That’s not it!”
I didn’t believe that was what had happened to us. Not even for a second. But, my mother was listening, practically hanging on my every word, and if she thought I believed that bogus story then she would, too. And I had to keep in mind that her level of worry over unknown perpetrators with a personal agenda would be debilitating.
“Officer Bryant said they're still gathering all the facts. More details will come out in their investigation. We can stay here tonight and start the clean up tomorrow.”
A breath pushed between Ava’s lips. Her eyes were sad. The shape of her curved mouth was sad. The slope of her shoulders was sad.
“Hey, Baby, don’t worry.”
“Don’t
worry? Ari, this is serious. They need to find this person. I feel so, so… dirty. Someone was in my house. Touching my life … he was in our room. Max’s room!”
“I know.”
Even though we were all gathered together on a rare Monday night for dinner, the mood was heavy and all anyone could talk about was how this incident could have happened, why us, who could have done it. The questions piled up but we came up with no more answers than we had when we started. I still suspected Ava was holding on to something that she wasn’t ready to reveal. She kept catching my speculative gazes in her direction and excused herself early. I followed after, determined to crack her façade.