by Cat Mann
Chapter 32
October Seventh
“Join us.”
A gasp escaped my strained lungs and leapt from my mouth. My eyes shot open from sleep. Muted, grey, early-morning light touched the edge of our wall. The air was still and quiet, the gulls had not even begun to squawk. My exposed skin was cold and dotted with goose bumps. I was alone but I knew where to find her.
I looked down the hallway from our bedroom door and spotted her. Standing in her underwear and a pair of my argyle dress socks slouched around her ankles, her shoulder propped her up against the frame of the doorway in the new nursery, looking in at what will be our baby’s room. Ava’s belly had grown so large in the last few weeks that my undershirts barley graced the bottom of her protruding belly. I watched her for a moment, unable to take my eyes off my beautiful wife, pregnant with my baby. She had given me all I had ever wanted; her love and a family to share it with.
“Hey, Baby.” I snuck down the hall and wrapped my arms around her, kissing her cheek.
“Mmm.” She smiled sweetly and nuzzled her head into my kiss. “Hi.”
“What are you doing up so early?”
“I’m too anxious to sleep. I just want to meet our baby and bring him home with us - it’s all I can think about. This weekend was such a disappointment ... I was so sure I was in labor and now I don’t feel like it's ever going to happen.”
We gazed in at the nursery together. Creamy ivory and soft grey covered the walls. An oversized but somehow perfect chandelier gleamed from the ceiling. The dark hardwood floor was softened by a thick, shaggy and chic area rug creating a sweet but elegant ambience. I could envision our little brown-haired child sitting there to play one day. A plush stuffed lamb, placed with care, sat on the cozy cushion of the rocking chair, eagerly awaiting the arrival of its new best friend. A narrow bookcase in the corner had been pre-filled with books that were waiting to be read and reread. In time we would discover which of the stories they held would become our baby’s favorite. Finally, a magnificent cradle sat right in the center of the room where soon, I would be placing a baby down for rest. All of our careful preparation was in vain; our baby would never play here, likely would never sleep or be read to in this warm space. We were leaving. The feeling was heavy and clouded what should have been the happiest time of our life. I could not bring myself to tell Ava about Fauna…Persephone. Ava deserved so much more than this life. I would not allow Fauna to bring any more darkness to what should be a perfect little blessing. Get Ava, Max and the baby safely out of the country and settled into a new life and then I would tell her. Only then. I was planning our exodus from California, Dana Point, our home, family – everything – as quickly as I could. We would leave one night with our empty, dirty dinner plates still in the sink, our belongings all left behind, our closets still full and no hint of where we had gone other than one small, detail-less note left for my father to find in his study. This note would be the only reassurance to them that we were safe. It was the best I could offer them.
“I’m anxious, too. But I am going to miss this.” My fingers stretched across Ava’s bare stomach. “I love seeing you pregnant with my child. You have given me everything in life that I have ever dreamed of, Ava. I am going to miss this baby bump, these round rosy cheeks of yours and your glowing, expectant mother smile.”
She smiled that smile and my heart danced.
“I am going to miss sharing chocolate sundaes with you and candy bars, baklava, my mom’s Greek cookies and your sweet tea, ordering numbered meals from a fast food menu…”
“You’re making me hungry.” She moaned.
“I can’t wait to see our child in your arms, Ava. Raise a family with you.”
“I can’t wait either … but we still need a name, Ari. This could be a girl.”
We had chosen Cal for a boy but we had yet to choose a girl’s name. “What do you want to name her? You pick. Whatever feels right to you will be right for me, too.”
Ava stared at the baby’s space, the crib, books, and toys then shrugged, “I don’t know. I never thought this would be so hard. This is more than just a name. It’s our baby. I wish I knew more about my family and where I come from. You know so much about your ancestors. I want to name her after someone special. I don’t want to just pick something out of thin air like my mother did.”
“What do you mean “out of thin air?”
“Ava Zae - my name has no meaning. My mother just picked a name from the beginning of the alphabet and then the end.”
My eyebrow pulled upwards in total disbelief. “That is simply untrue, Ava.”
“Oh? And how could you possibly know?”
“Because I just know, that’s how. You are named after your father’s great-grandmother and great, great, great-grandmother.” I pointed to the birds flying around on her tattooed arm. “Ava means ‘like a bird’ and your great-great grandmother Ava was a Greek, a Moirai and she led Greeks who were being pursued by The Kakos out of Greece and into safe homes in America, throughout Europe, and Australia. She helped my dad’s ancestors come over here to America, to safety. She was a strong and brilliant woman just like you.
“Now Zae, your middle name, comes from Zadie and the name means princess. Your great, great, great grandmother Zadie sacrificed her life for an entire Greek village.”
Ava shifted to look over at me and I continued to talk.
“The Kakos were hunting Zadie, The Fate from Atropos, and they came to a village where she had been hiding. The villagers hid her there for some time, keeping her safe. When the men arrived, word had already come to the village and Zadie had fled; she was no longer there. The villagers lied to the men, saying they had not seen her, and no one would say where she was. The Kakos were angry. They were very violent men and sent a message to Zadie by setting every home in the village on fire. They ripped people from their beds and pulled husbands away from their wives, babies away from their mothers. They tortured and beat them but no one would talk. So many died for her, it was a massacre. The Kakos would not rest until Zadie surrendered.
“Zadie learned of what was happening at the village and she went to the people by horseback as quickly as she could. She rode three days through the mountains without stopping for food or rest. Upon her arrival, she surrendered herself to The Kakos for the villagers' lives. They took her, tied her to a stake at the top of the hillside and stoned her to death. The village still grieves her passing. All of their doors on their houses are painted black in mourning, each year they have a celebration in her name and they have an effigy of their Princess Zadie at the very top of the hillside where she perished. She is forever there looking down on them and keeping them safe. So Ava, to say your name has no meaning is an abomination, it is blasphemy. You are named after two of the greatest women to have lived before you. Your name should give you great honor.”
“Zadie,” Ava said simply.
“Zadie?”
“That’s what I want to name our baby if she is a girl. Zadie.”
“Then I want to name her Zadie, too.”
“Zadie…” She tasted the name on her tongue and searched for a middle name.
“Zadie Adrianne?” I suggested, giving homage to Ava’s father.
“No. Zadie Agatha Eleni.”
“My mom and grandmother.”
“Yes. After three very strong and brilliant women.”
“I couldn’t possibly love that name any more than I do.”
We looked in at the baby’s room with a mix of emotions both sweet and sour.
Ava turned back to me. “I wish you could stay home with us today.”
“Why? Are you feeling ok?” I asked. “Do you think you might go into labor?”
“No, no… it’s not that, I just have a strange feeling, that’s all. I can’t explain it. I just want you near me.” She batted her lashes at herself. “Crazy hormones.”
“I won’t be g
one long, I am running into town to do a wire transfer, and pull out the cash from the lock boxes. I am going to get us some burner phones so we won’t be traced and I need to run to my office just real quick.” I needed to get my hands on that binder that Fauna had put together for Lirik. I needed to know all the information she had on me and Ava. “Call me if something changes…”
She nodded. “I will.”
I rolled the hem of Ava’s over-stretched shirt between my fingertips. “You know, Max is still sleeping and I have a few hours before I need go...”
Ava eased into my arms and I kissed the corners of her mouth, then her nose, her cheeks, her forehead. My scruffy face scratched and tickled her smooth skin. I moved my lips to her ear and she tilted her head, allowing my tongue to travel its way down her neck. We slipped back down the hall towards our bedroom and I shut the door tightly behind us.
Our early morning spent together was beautiful. One more amazing memory to add to my list. Making love with Ava pulls emotions from me that I never knew existed. The words “I love you,” when whispered from her pink lips, cause my heart to stop, my body to tingle and my breath to hitch in my chest. Her words are always my undoing.