Chloe had layers going on with her feelings, and I had the feeling she liked me, but there were parts of her that seemed closed off. Hearing what she thought of me on the phone those times, made me feel that she’d never believe what I had to say about her, and I doubted whether I was someone she’d ever want to get close to her.
Chloe reacting like that on the plane was awkward, because I’d never had someone I cared about have a meltdown to the point where I felt so fucking helpless that I couldn’t speak. All I could do was hold her tightly and try to remember not to get hard doing it.
Being there with her on the beach, I had to reach out to her and tell her the truth about me being the one who had been calling her. She needed my honesty if she was going to learn to trust me.
Strange, but she had nothing much to say about what happened on the phone at that point, but I was learning that still waters ran deep and she seemed to mull things over before she was ready to speak her mind about anything. With that in my own mind, I knew there was a powder keg with a fuse waiting to be lit sometime soon.
Staring at her silhouette in the dark and wondering when that particular minefield would come up, the beach no longer seemed a good idea. “Come on, we’re getting out of here. I could easily have called and got someone out of bed. Gibson Barclay the rock star can make people do whatever the fuck he wants, Chloe. The reason I didn’t was because I wanted to spend some time with you.”
Taking her by the hand I strode back to the sun shelter and closed the hamper. Picking it up, I slipped into my shoes and began walking back to the car with her.
“Aren’ t you going to get the blanket and stuff?” she asked surprised that I wasn’t packing everything up.
“Nah, someone will be glad of that when the sun comes up. This wasn’t how tonight was supposed to go, Chloe. I didn’t mean to drink all that wine. I guess I just felt relaxed enough to do what came naturally.”
Stepping onto the long boardwalk from the beach, Chloe’s face became visible with the walkway lighting. “And I know what comes naturally to you, Gibson, that’s the part that worries me about you.”
Shaking my head at her, I was so damn pissed that she thought I just wanted to get laid and that was all I thought about. Maybe that was true from what she remembered, but that was when I was nineteen.
“We could have gone to a hotel to sleep, Chloe, but I figured you’d think I had expectations of you that I didn’t. No matter what I did from the time I was drinking the wine, you would have seen it as a precursor to sex, am I right?”
Watching Chloe’s reaction intensely, I saw her work a swallow, and look embarrassed at her assumption. “Sorry, I just thought–”
“Well, don’t! Quit second guessing me, it’s fucking tiresome.”
I didn’t mean to sound so forceful but she was frustrating the fuck out of me. All I had wanted to do was meet her, take her to dinner and get to know her. The result of that was that I couldn’t even manage to make it past that point, without her thinking that everything I did was laced with seduction so that I’d get her to lie down and open her legs wide for me.
Pulling my cell out of my pocket, I flicked at the contacts and connected to Johnny the co-pilot and my security. He was asked to stand down earlier and leave us to have a normal night for once.
Going to Carmel-by-the–sea at 11:00 in the evening, it was very unlikely I’d be mobbed or harassed by anyone unless it was a girl I’d once had. Then again, with my odds lately maybe I shouldn’t have been too complacent.
“Johnny, it’s me, we’re still at the restaurant and I’ve had too much to drink. We’ll wait in the car.” Swiping my phone, I shoved it deep into my jeans pocket and stared at Chloe, wondering what she was going to say next.
Unlocking the car, I said, “Get in” Seeing the hurt in Chloe’s eyes and a hint of fear, I spoke much softer to her, even though my temper was flaring.
“You’re not giving me a fair crack of the whip, Chloe. The way I got you here with me was all kinds of wrong but fuck-- I’m not a bad person, I’ve just done some bad things.”
Chloe turned to face me, her eyes locking in on mine. “I know that. And I’m sorry, it’s ju…it’s just that I’ve been though some stuff and its made my views a bit skeptical where relationships are concerned.”
I jumped straight in on her point of view. “Is that what we’re doing, Chloe, having a relationship? Because it feels like I’m under interrogation instead of having a night out with a beautiful woman.”
Instead of answering me back she just got into the car with me and looked at me for the longest time. Looking but not seeing and I wondered if she was lost thinking and didn’t realize we were still facing each other.
“Why did you do that? The phone calls, the…words…the picture. Talking to me, the flirting, the phone sex th…the picture.” Chloe’s voice sounded like she might cry and I thought oh crap because I wasn’t sure I could cope with a meltdown like that in such a confined space as the front of the car.
Sighing heavily, I placed my hand on her cheek and amazingly enough, she leaned into my palm and held my eye contact. Her small action made me connect with her instantly and I felt less angry.
“I’m really sorry I started that. I was horny and drunk and you sounded so incredible on the phone. Really, I wanted to touch you more than anything during that call. Actually, I wanted to hold you in my arms and just love you. There was a vulnerable sound to your voice but, fuck Chloe I think you seduced me more than I did you that night. I was the drunk one, remember?
Warm heat stained her cheeks and a slight curve to her mouth told me that she had accepted her part in what we did. It had pained her to do it, but it was pretty courageous given who I was. And that wasn’t meant from an inflated stand point, just that I had a reputation, and she’d stood up to that.
Chloe’s eyes lowered for a second then glanced back up to look at me. “I’m sorry too, Gibson. Really, what you did to meet me would have been romantic had I not known about you before. So it’s poor judgment on my part. I’ve only seen those snapshots of you as a teenager and read gossip in the local rags and mags. “
Suddenly she was the one with her hands either side of my face and a half smile on her lips. “I’ve ruined what you tried to do for me tonight. I’m sorry Gibson, and I really appreciate the sentiment of it all. I’m just not in a place where I’m ready to have fun, you know? If I am honest it isn’t all you, it’s me as well. History shapes us Gibson, yours and mine.”
Chloe’s eyes dipped to look at my lips, and she licked her own. “May I?” Asking permission to kiss me about blew me away. Fans grabbed my face and tried to stick their tongues down my throat all day long and my little Chloe asks, may I? Fuck me. Definitely a first.
Shaking my head, I smiled wickedly, as I closed the distance between us, “Oh, I’d be sorely disappointed now if you didn’t.” My body was already on full alert and was humming to be closer to her, and I had been fighting all my habitual, skewed tendencies to pounce on her and do everything I’d ever imagined doing to her.
Soft full lips pressed against mine and she surprised me by being the one to trace the seam of my lips with her warm wet tongue, my lips parting to accept whatever she was willing to give me. She stroked my teeth with her tongue, then probed deeper into my mouth.
Desperate to go at her pace, I could feel her trying but it wasn’t a spontaneous kiss. My hand slipped up her arm from between us and tangled in her long silky hair. Grasping a handful of it at the nape of her neck, I pushed our heads closer together, deepening the kiss.
Chloe’s body began to shake slightly and she broke the kiss, her fingers trembling as they stroked her lips where mine had just been. “I’m sorry, Gibson, I’m just not that…good at this sort of thing right now.”
Confused, I understood that she may be a little nervous about us being intimately close, it had been a lot to take in, but I could feel something else blocking her from relaxing around me. The only time she f
ully relaxed was when she was asleep on the plane. Her face had a whole different appearance, more like the younger version of Chloe that I was still in my head.
CHAPTER 26 - FRESH START
Chloe
Soft tapping on the car window distracted Gibson and he turned to face a guy who I had seen climbing out of the cockpit of the plane last night. Gibson turned back to look at me, smiled slowly then cleared his throat as he turned and opened the door.
The car rocked slightly as Gibson got out, making his side suddenly lighter. Closing the door softly, he had a brief muffled conversation with the guy before he got in the back of the car and the guy from the plane slipped in beside me. It was only then that I noticed another car do a U turn and drive past us.
“Johnny, I want you to meet Chloe. Chloe, this is Johnny, he’s my security detail and a close friend.”
Raising my hand in a half-hearted wave I said, “Hi, Johnny, pleased to meet you.” My smile was genuine because I was glad that Gibson had someone keeping him safe. Some of his fans at the gig appeared insane.
“So…did you guys have a nice dinner?” The dinner itself was amazing, but I knew that in guy language he meant something completely different and this was confirmed when Gibson snickered and huffed a forced breath from his lungs.
“The food was good, everything else until a couple of minutes ago was debatable. Your timing was impeccable as always, Johnny.”
As soon as Johnny started to laugh, I knew that he must have interrupted Gibson from getting to the ‘fun part’ of the night on many occasions. Feeling my face flush again for some reason, I felt that the joke was on me. No one said anything so maybe my low self-esteem had just made me feel that way.
“What’s the plan for today, Gib?”
Good question. I glanced at my watch it was 4:00 a.m. Gibson stretched out and I heard him adjust in the back.
“First up, Chloe and I are going to bed.”
My head snapped in Gibson’s direction in the back. “In your dreams, Gibson.”
Johnny began to laugh heartily, and then turned and stared at me a moment too long for someone who was meant to be driving, before turning back to look at the road. “Crashed and burned there, my friend. Chloe, have I told you how smoking hot you look?”
“Enough. That’s not fucking funny Johnny, Chloe isn’t a groupie. Remember your fucking manners, buddy.” Feeling awkward at their exchange, I stared down at my hands and prayed silently that we’d get to the plane soon.
“Sorry if that made you feel uncomfortable, Chloe. Johnny is worse than me it comes to women. He’s had so many it’s a wonder his dick still knows up from down.”
It was Gibson that was embarrassing me at that point, saying things like that about Johnny to me, and especially in front of him. I think he just forgot himself for a moment.
Arriving at the gate, the plane was already lit up and the cabin crew were aboard. Within seconds the door was open and Gibson had taken me by the hand and was running up the stairs to the cabin. His hand felt strong and his assertive grip gave me the same safe, warm feeling I’d had a few hours earlier when he had taken my hand at the meet and greet.
Barbie was gone and a tall, handsome guy called Marvin was our cabin crew for the flight back. I almost commented on this but decided she didn’t deserve another moment of my time.
Feeling much more relaxed this time, than I had on the way out, I wondered if that was because Gibson and I were kind of co-existing, or our relationship had taken a little turn from what we had learned about each other…or if it had been due to the hot little kisses we had shared. The whole atmosphere felt different at the beginning of the journey back, compared to the flight out and dare I say a comfortable silence had developed between us.
Grabbing some headphones, I put them on and the noise reduction quality was amazing. Selecting an album from the touch screen on the iPad panel, “All Fall Down” by One Republic played and I laid back and closed my eyes, letting Ryan Tedder’s dulcet tones lull me into a semi- conscious state.
Gibson slid down in his seat and flicked the foot rest out. Stretching out his long muscular legs along the leather, his feet reached over to my foot rest and skimmed the skin on my ankle. That’s when I noticed he was still barefooted.
Opening my eyes, that first flick to his foot had sent a tiny pulse of electricity through my body with his skin on skin contact. Glancing up at his face, his eyes were watching me, twinkling and they had a touch of mischief in them.
A slow smile began to form on my mouth, and I could feel the corners of my lips curl up almost involuntarily. I was done fighting for that moment. Gibson’s smile was much more instant when he saw mine and that roguish grin that melted so many hearts, wrapped itself around mine.
“That’s much better, Chloe, I love your eyes when you smile, they are so… luminous and bright.” I didn’t exactly hear it because of the headphones, I’d been lip reading and thought I’d read what I’d like him to say but Gibson would say something so… flowery, so I leaned forward and removed one headphone. Excuse me?”
Shaking his head, he took his feet down and unclipped his belt and knelt on the floor beside my chair. Tilting my chin towards him his breath fanned across my face. “Chloe, when you smile you light up the room, light up my heart, but mostly your eyes become so luminous and vibrant they make me feel breathless. When I see them like that my heart stops momentarily, while I lose myself in them.”
His statement stunned me, because who would have thought Gibson Barclay could describe eyes and what they do to him in such a romantic way? The Gibson Barclay I knew back then would have said something like, “Nice eyes, want to fuck with me?”
I was listening to, “My Heart Is Open.” By Maroon 5, as he stared intensely at me. And I thought, this could be my moment, the moment that defines whether I am strong enough to face my future, whatever that may be.
I was still scared and partly broken from all the hurt I’d experienced before, and that had happened with a guy that had been dependable. I wondered how much worse it could be with a guy like Gibson. So for a moment I sat, like I was perched on a tightrope and one false move would be the end of me.
That may sound dramatic, but I was staring at Gibson Barclay and the risks of being hurt by him were colossal. Comparing the risk of what could happen with Gibson, to the risk of Kace becoming an abuser, was mind numbing. However, if someone like Kace could turn out like that, what were the chances of Gibson being the opposite of his public image?
Does a leopard change its spots? Then again, Kace changed. Caught between a heaven and –possibly another nightmare situation with Gibson. I was so frightened to trust any man again. But I put on a brave face and fought the feelings of nausea as I stared at Gibson, and tried not to allow myself to slide back to the meek timid behavior I had been displaying before I left Kace
Mostly, if I was being honest, I just wanted to stay home, safe in my bed in the little apartment I had made my sanctuary. Safe in my own space with no one to control me, no one to place any demands on me and no one to have to place my trust in. I could rely on me.
When I moved to New York I wanted safety and anonymity but I knew I couldn’t live that way forever, alone and without love. To do that would be giving in to Kace’s abuse and whether I was with him or not, he’d still be controlling every aspect of my life, except it would have been from a distance.
Maybe Gibson and Ruby were right. Maybe I needed to look at sex and relationships from a different angle. Maybe I needed to have a fling, a fun-fuck just for the sport of it and to see if I viewed my life the same afterwards.
Part of me would have loved to throw caution to the wind and try to have fun, but when the man tempting me to do just that was someone like Gibson, how did I deal with that and what did I do with it, afterwards?
“Penny for them.” Gibson’s voice brought me out of my reverie and I sighed heavily, realizing I had spaced out for a while. I’d been distracted with all of those though
ts about him, Kace, and Ruby, and the little devil on my left shoulder poking me with that fork saying “go on you will regret it if you don’t.”
Gibson reached out and brushed some hair from my forehead that was hanging down from the headset I was wearing, just as I had that thought.
“Have you always looked perfect, Chloe? Was there an ugly duckling stage or were you just this amazing looking as a child? Has anyone ever told you how even and beautiful your features are? You are an incredibly beautiful woman. If I had to choose someone that I wanted to represent what a woman should look like, I’d choose you.”
Smirking, I thought, damn he’s smooth. Bending forward I puckered my lips and kissed the end of his nose. Gibson rewarded me with that crazily sexy roguish smile of his.
“Thank you for that sweet line you gave me, but I’m a little long in the tooth to fall for that one.” Gibson’s smile dissolved and he frowned with a confused expression on his face. Sitting back on his heels, his hands rested on the armrest of my chair and he shook his head.
“What makes you think it’s a line, Chloe? You think I would embarrass myself by saying something like that to a groupie?” Sitting to the side on one hip he began to get up, looking hurt.
“I get it Chloe, you think I’m out to get into your panties and that isn’t going to happen no matter how hard I try. Well, I have news for you honey, I’ve never had to beg before and I’m certainly not about to. So you can rest assured, your message has been received loud and clear.”
Leaving me staring at his back, Gibson walked over to the other side of the plane, his cell appearing out of his right jeans pocket and he was calling someone. Strapping himself into the furthest seat of the plane, he was as far away from me as he could get.
Continuing to listen to music, I tried to pretend that our newest spat hadn’t bothered me, but it had. A lot. More than I expected it to. I was hurt and confused by the new feelings because they were about him, and how he had rejected me and left me sitting captive in a plane while he shunned me in the same space.
Romance: Gibson's Legacy ( New Adult Contemporary Erotic Romance) (Last Score Book 1) Page 21