by C. J. Miller
“It isn’t a good idea to point a gun in my face.” Griffin put the safety on and set the gun on the dresser. Lawrence was lucky. Griffin was trained to kill people who threatened him. The gun was a threat. He had neutralized Lawrence too easily. Maybe the other man had let go of the gun once he saw it was Griffin, or maybe Lawrence had lost his edge.
Griffin had a bad feeling about this gathering. It was off to a shaky start. “Kit, it’s clear.” Griffin didn’t want her lingering in the hall.
Kit slipped into the room. The expression on her face when she saw Lawrence ignited a bolt of jealousy. What was the big deal about this guy? Griffin didn’t see it.
A red-haired woman stepped in from the other room. She was tall and wore a gray sweatshirt and black athletic pants, which accented her lean build.
“Lotus,” the woman said.
Kit didn’t smile. “Zoya.”
Lawrence stepped between them and slid his arm around Zoya’s waist. “We’ve had our differences in the past, but we need to work together now. We’re all in danger.”
Zoya put her hand on Lawrence’s chest. Kit looked from Zoya’s hand and then to the floor.
“We’ve been staking out the conference, looking for members of the team,” Lawrence said. “Anyone who worked on the Locker could be drawn to this place. Probably using a different name, but we might recognize them.”
“We’re here for the same reason,” Kit said.
Zoya’s eyebrows lifted. “You travel with a personal bodyguard now?”
Kit ignored the question. “What’s the plan?”
“To counter Incognito. They have pieces of the Locker and they have probably made copies,” Lawrence said. “I want to destroy the copies. I have a lead on where they might be, but I’d need your help to break in.”
Kit looked between the two of them. “Okay.”
Lawrence inclined his head. “That’s it? Okay?”
“Give me a few hours to make some plans and get the equipment I need. Then we’ll go on the offensive against Incognito.”
* * *
Kit was in a bad mood. Seeing Zoya and Lawrence together left her feeling small and unwanted, like a rowdy child at a formal dinner party.
She and Griffin were en route to the local Tech Buy to pick up equipment. Shopping for computers and devices normally thrilled her, but she was distracted and irritated. Why did Zoya and Lawrence have to look so in love? Why were they still together? Had Lawrence told Zoya about the time Kit had thrown herself at him? Had they shared a laugh about it at her expense?
“You said our cover was lovers,” Kit said.
“It is,” Griffin said, changing lanes.
“Then let’s actually do it.”
He glanced at her. “Do what? Have sex?”
Why did men treat sex with her like the least desirable option on a menu? She was the liverwurst and Brussels sprouts on a menu of Kobe steak and truffles. From what she had read, men liked sex. They liked it even when they weren’t crazy about the woman they were sleeping with. “You said if I still wanted it after twenty-four hours, you would.” She was glad they were in the car and she didn’t have to look at him directly. The promise he’d made her had been to keep her calm when she was drugged, but the promise should have held water regardless of how it was made.
“You remembered that? I was attempting to prevent you from making a mistake you would regret. You’d have regretted it then and you’ll regret it now.”
“You aren’t a man of your word?” It was a low blow at his character. But she was probably the only person her age who was a virgin and didn’t want to be. Did she want to coerce Griffin into sleeping with her? Of course not. But she wanted some answers. Was she that unappealing?
Griffin rubbed his jaw. “I am a man of my word, but I don’t think you want to sleep with me. You want to prove something to Lawrence and Zoya by pretending we have a relationship that rivals theirs.”
His accurate assessment stung. She wished she had something in her personal life to be proud of in the present: a relationship, a house, a family, anything. “Forget I said it.” She wasn’t good at getting what she wanted from men. Maybe she could put that on her resume: the antimanipulator.
“Tell me what happened between you three. It might make you feel better.”
Kit sighed and turned up the air conditioning in the car. “We were part of the Locker project. Lawrence worked physical security. He was nice to everyone, and I thought he liked me. He didn’t. He was dating one woman, a civilian, and sleeping with Zoya. I didn’t know about their relationship, and I asked him to dinner and tried to kiss him. He turned me down flat and I’m sure he told Zoya, because she was different toward me after the incident.”
“If you didn’t know, you didn’t know. You shouldn’t feel bad about it,” Griffin said. He pulled into the parking lot of the Tech Buy and found a free space.
Kit hit the door with her fist. “It’s humiliating. Most people have dating stories to tell that are positive, and the rejections are vague memories. All I have are rejections. I say the wrong things, I pick the wrong men, and I make a fool of myself. I don’t seamlessly fit into social groups.”
“You and me both.”
“Please,” Kit said, trying to imagine Griffin receiving the same looks she did when she spoke to a group. Nope, when women looked at Griffin, their eyes grew wider and they posed as if beckoning him to notice them. “How are you socially awkward? I’ve seen you in enough groups to know you’re good with people.”
He turned off the car’s ignition. “I’m too blunt. I’m too aggressive. I can’t commit. I’ve heard it all.”
“At least you’ve had relationships,” Kit said.
Griffin laughed. “Right. Relationships. One significant one eons ago, and the rest have been a mess. I’m away too long and by the time I return, I’ve missed too much. I can’t connect.”
He didn’t elaborate on what “one significant one” meant, and she didn’t pry. “I never would have guessed,” Kit said.
“I’m not complaining. This is the life that I chose. You’re not the only one who doesn’t understand relationships.”
Thirty minutes later, they were leaving Tech Buy with several bags of supplies. She hadn’t found the exact brands she preferred. She blamed the local conference for the run on the more cutting-edge equipment. What she had purchased would have to do. She could tinker with the items, maybe speed them up or change them somewhat, but time was limited and hardware wasn’t her expertise.
When they arrived back at the hotel and were in their room, Kit unpacked her devices. She would configure them before she met with Lawrence and Zoya again that evening.
Griffin knelt next to her at the coffee table where she was working. “You look absolutely enraged.”
She was focused. Others had commented on her intense look when she worked. “I’m in a bad mood. Ignore it. It will go away.”
“I don’t want to ignore you. I want you to be in a good place.”
Her frame of mind wouldn’t stop her from doing what she needed to do. “I’ll use Zoya’s lead and hack Incognito’s version of the Locker to find out what they have in their possession.”
“It’s not just that I’m concerned about. I’m in charge of your well-being.”
Kit turned the new tablet over in her hand. “I sound like a teenager saying this, but what is wrong with me?”
Griffin touched her cheek. “Nothing is wrong with you.”
Griffin had said he had relationship issues, too, but hers went far deeper. “Don’t spare my feelings. I need someone to tell me. What will I tell a boyfriend to explain it?”
“To explain what?”
That she was a twenty-eight-year-old virgin. “I haven’t had sex.”
“That was really y
our first kiss?” he asked, pulling his hand away.
The withdrawal of his hand was like a slap. “Yes.” No point in dancing around it.
“Tell me about having online sex.”
She blinked at him. “Are you making fun of me?” In her current state, more emotional abuse would kill her. She’d need a week with a case of lemon-lime soda and ten pounds of jelly beans to recover.
“I’m trying to understand how your mind works.”
She’d only had cybersex with Swift. Her experience was limited, even if she’d tried to learn everything she could. “We talk about what we’d like to do with each other if we were in the same room. Like I might tell him what I’m wearing.” She looked down at her clothes. “And tell him that I want him to take my clothes off and carry me to the bed. He would cover me with his body.” Her mouth went dry, and instead of rehashing a conversation she’d had with Swift, she was thinking about Griffin and what she wanted from him.
“You’re bigger than me, so I’m underneath you and I feel safe. I smell you, the scent of your skin, masculine and clean, and it makes me wish you would hurry. But you want to take your time.” Griffin’s eyes were riveted on her. “You kiss me softly, and I run my nails down your back. I want it harder. You’re more and more excited. You show me with your mouth what you want to do with your lower body.” She closed her eyes because looking at him when she was speaking was too intense. “I know that you’ll be a big man, so I open my thighs wide, wider, splayed open completely so you can push inside me. When you position yourself, I wiggle to encourage you, but you lift your hips, keeping me from what I most want.” She opened her eyes and met his gaze. “You’re looking into my eyes, and the connection is right, and I’m hot and wet and ready.
“Holding yourself over me, you move. It takes several thrusts to fit all the way inside because I’m so tight and excited, but I’m wet, and soon I’m begging for more. You move hard and you’re so big it hurts, but it hurts so good. The sensations are too much, and you bend to kiss me again. I’m lost to you. I tremble in your arms and you finish inside me, spurting me with heat.”
Griffin had stood from her work table, and his hips were in her line of sight. Her words had enticed him. She could see the evidence. Turned on by her story, she touched the front of his pants, running her finger down along the hard ridge that pressed against the fabric.
He didn’t stop her. Last night, he had forcefully rejected her. Today was different. She wasn’t drugged. Earlier in the day, they’d shared two steamy, shockingly rattling kisses.
Feeling bolder, she stood and stroked her hand down the side of his face, brushing his jawline, tracing his lips with her thumb. She had never touched a man this masculine and hard. She slid her hand around the back of his neck and brought his mouth to hers.
She kissed him, slow and deep. His lips were the only soft part of him. Everything else about Griffin was hard and chiseled from the outside in.
It was their first kiss alone in a room with a bed. She recalled kissing him the night before. He’d turned his mouth away. Not now. He was bent over, his hands at her waist, holding her against his length.
She moved up and down, rubbing against him. She wanted a better angle, a different direction. She pushed his shoulders, shoving him into the wooden chair opposite where she’d been sitting. He didn’t stop her and he could have. Easily. He was bigger and stronger than she was, but at this moment, she was in charge. He was hers to command.
She sat on his lap, straddling him. Holding his shoulders, she moved her hips. Her body ached for her to move faster, to find some release for the growing tension. The fabric between them was frustrating. Would he allow her to remove their clothes? She reached for the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head, tossing it to the floor.
Broad shoulders, defined pectorals, rippling abdominals and pumped biceps. His body was meant to please a woman.
“Looking at you turns me on. How are you this sexy?” she asked. She kissed him again and pressed her body against his bare skin. A shiver of fear coursed through her. For so long, sex had been an unattainable goal. She should have sex for the first time with someone she was in love with and who loved her. She’d just met Griffin. Would she sleep with him, knowing it was nothing to him and would mean so much to her?
He broke the kiss. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“I’m thinking about what’s going to happen.”
“Do you want to stop?” he asked.
She shook her head. But she was afraid for this to move forward.
Griffin lifted her and set her on the coffee table. He flipped up her skirt and kissed the inside of her thigh. “I don’t want this to be about me. I want to relax you. We’ll see how many times I can make you come with just my mouth and my hands.”
She felt his words at her core. If she wasn’t ready before, his words sent a rush of heat over her body. Griffin shifted between her legs and she grabbed the back of his hair, stopping him.
He stilled, lifting his eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m scared.” She was embarrassed speaking the words, but now that she was standing on the threshold of what she wanted, she felt pressure that it be right and amazing. What if she didn’t know what she was doing? What was she supposed to say?
“Tell me why you’re scared.”
“You won’t like it.”
He glanced between her legs. “Trust me when I tell you I’ll like it.”
She swallowed hard. “What if you don’t? What if I don’t?”
“Then we’ll stop. Do you want to stop now?”
She was hot for him. Unreasonably hot, but she found herself nodding. It had moved too fast and while she could have been swept away by Griffin’s touch, she wasn’t ready.
He helped her off the table. The moment was lost. She had gone so far and then had fled.
“I’ll finish this,” she said and pointed to her devices.
“Just give me a minute.” He went into the bathroom and shut the door.
Kit was left alone with her depressing thoughts, wishing she hadn’t stopped Griffin and wishing he could give her more.
Chapter 8
When Griffin had studied this assignment, he hadn’t considered it would be a test of his control and of his ability not to sleep with his client.
Kit was a smart and sensual woman, her innocence and sexuality two extremes.
He was turned on. Fiercely. He needed to relieve some of it or he would lose his mind. His thoughts were centered on getting Kit into bed, and they needed to be on keeping her safe.
He climbed into the shower and took himself in hand. He thought of sinking into Kit’s body, of laying her on the nearest flat surface.
There was a tap on the door and then it opened. He let go of himself and shut off the water, reaching for a towel. “Are you okay?”
She stood by the sink. “I felt bad about what I did.” She glanced at the towel tented across his hips. “Oh, right. I wondered.”
He couldn’t take more of this. He had to set boundaries. “Kit, I am fine with us not having sex and I will keep my hands off you, but no more talk of sex. No more kissing. No touching each other.”
“Are you mad?”
Not mad. His blood was pulsing with lust. “No.”
“You sound mad.”
This was where her inexperience with men showed. “Kit, I’m turned on and I’m controlling it. If you sense tension, the tension is my body wanting to finish.”
She licked her lips, her pink tongue drawing his attention. “I want to try again.”
He shook his head. “No.”
“I had an idea of what my first time would be like.”
“I’m not taking your virginity, and that’s not under discussion.”
She looked agai
n at the front of his towel. “I can leave you to finish, then.”
The disappointment was so heavy in her voice, he almost relented. But if he slept with her, or kissed her, or engaged in any type of sex with her, it would impact their relationship and the mission. Based on her reaction to him kissing her thigh, she wasn’t ready for more with a man. While sex relaxed him, it might upset her.
He wouldn’t touch her again. He could get through this mission and focus.
* * *
Griffin carried the repurposed costume box to Lawrence and Zoya’s room. It was filled with Kit’s computer equipment. She was behind him. Since their almost-sex earlier, she was avoiding eye contact and had returned to her former quiet self.
He didn’t like it. He wasn’t big on talking about feelings, and she wasn’t, either. He wanted to clear the air, but what could he say that wouldn’t make this worse?
He set the box on the floor and had her stand next to it, away from the door. Since they’d been greeted with the muzzle of a gun earlier, he wasn’t taking chances.
Zoya opened the door wearing a silk robe parted to reveal cleavage. Were they interrupting Lawrence and Zoya? They’d known he and Kit were coming.
She opened the door wide and tucked a long strand of hair behind her ear. “Come in.”
Over her shoulder, Lawrence was seated at a long table against the window wearing clothes. No rumpled sheets or the scent of sex and sweat in the air. Maybe Zoya just liked to dress in next-to-nothing and flaunt her body.
Griffin nodded to Kit that it was safe, and she entered the room. Griffin checked under the beds, the bathroom and the closets. All were empty.
Lawrence seemed amused. “FBI?”
Griffin shook his head. Whom he worked for wasn’t important. The West Company was notorious, but little was known about them, and that was how the company liked it. Their missions and operations were whispered about as if they were urban legends.
Kit sat on the end of the table and started setting up her equipment. “How did you find Incognito’s partial version of the Locker? Do you know how much of it they have?”