So here I sat with Carl, who seemed more than happy to be here with me.
“I feel really bad about involving you in all this, but I didn’t know who else to call.”
“It’s no problem and I’m just sorry to hear that someone is threatening you the way this Antonio person is.”
“The thing is, I don’t think he’s ever going to let up. When I spoke to him on the phone, he sounded so angry and so vindictive.”
“And there’s nothing the police can do about it?”
“No, because in order to arrest him, they’d have to catch him here. Although I’m guessing with the order of protection, all I’ll have to do is report to them any of the times he comes.”
“I just don’t understand some men.”
“Neither do I, because I was good to Antonio. I treated him the way I wanted to be treated, and now this is the thanks I get.”
“If you don’t mind my asking,” he said, repositioning his body on the sofa we were both sitting on, “why was he arrested in the first place?”
“Drugs.”
“Now, that’s pretty deep.”
“Tell me about it.”
“Was he using them or selling them?”
“Both. He was definitely using marijuana and then selling cocaine, but to be honest, I didn’t even know he was doing marijuana until a couple of weeks ago because up until then he’d never brought any around me.”
Carl shook his head and I could tell he was trying to figure out that thousand-dollar question: How in the world had I gotten mixed up with such an awful person?
“Before you even ask, I may as well go ahead and tell you that I don’t know why except I really did love him.”
Carl smiled and slightly chuckled.
“What?” I asked.
“I guess I just have a hard time trying to figure out why good people seem to end up with such losers. And don’t think I’m only referring to you, because actually I was thinking more about my own situation than anything else.”
“Are you saying Greta is not the fine Christian woman we all know her to be?” I asked, now smiling myself.
“Hardly.”
“Okay.”
“I could certainly tell you some stories, and the only reason I won’t is because the last thing you need right now is to hear about my madness.”
“Please go ahead.”
“Are you sure? Because I know that’s not why you called me over here.”
“I’m positive.”
“Well, to start, Greta is far from being a Christian anything, let alone a fine Christian woman. That is, unless hypocrites somehow fall into that category.”
Interestingly enough, I was already raising my eyebrows and I couldn’t help wondering what the skinny was on her.
“I see she had you fooled, too,” he continued.
“Apparently so.”
“Shoot, that woman has done everything from sleeping with her married boss, to aborting a child that probably wasn’t mine anyway, to running off two years ago for two weeks with some guy she met at the health club and who she was sure she was in love with.”
“Gosh, Carl, I really had no idea and I doubt that anyone else at the church did either.”
“I’m sure, because I never told anyone except my brother about the horrible things she did. I never even told my parents until the divorce was final. Mainly because I was too ashamed.”
“Was she always like that?”
“Not the first couple of years, but after that it just seemed like she was bored with me. She started complaining about the fact that we didn’t go out enough and that she needed more excitement in her life. Which of course I tried to work on, but going to dinner, going to the movies, and going to visit friends just wasn’t enough. I even tried taking her to plays in Chicago but she still wasn’t happy.”
“That’s too bad, because the boring life she thought she had is all I’ve ever wanted.”
“Yeah, but at the same time you ended up with this Antonio character and he definitely doesn’t sound like the dinner-and-movie type either.”
“Well, believe it or not, for a long while he was. He was content with just being with me, but the problem was, I never pushed him to do anything he didn’t want to do and I provided everything he needed.”
“Then what happened?”
I sighed at first, but then I told Carl everything. I wasn’t completely sure this had been the right thing for me to do, but he seemed so sincere. His demeanor was calm and his caring attitude couldn’t be ignored. He was the type of man one couldn’t help feeling at peace with.
“Amazing.”
“And pitiful, huh?”
“No, just amazing because I can’t imagine allowing any woman to take care of me like that.”
“Maybe, but as you can see, some men expect it.”
“And now he has the nerve to be threatening you?”
“Yeah, but now it’s not because I wanted to break up with him. It’s because he’s facing prison time.”
“As he should be.”
“Tell him that.”
“I wish I could.”
“No, actually I’m just kidding, because I don’t want you conversing with Antonio for any reason. He’s crazy and the last thing I would want is for you to end up hurt because of me.”
“Well, just so you know, I’m not afraid of him, and if he tries to harm you while I’m around, he’ll figure that out pretty quickly.”
Now, even more than when he’d first arrived, I regretted calling Carl, because while he was a pretty relaxed individual, he was making it very clear that he’d have no problem confronting Antonio. I guess this should have made me feel somewhat protected, but it was so unfair exposing him to such chaos.
“Carl, I’m really sorry.”
“About what?” he said, confused.
“Dialing your phone number.”
“Hey,” he said, moving closer to me and placing his hand on my knee. “There’s nothing for you to be sorry about, and from this day forward I hope you’ll continue calling whenever you need to.”
“I appreciate that. More than you know.”
“If you’ll remember, I called you earlier, anyway.”
“Yeah, but not so you could put your life in danger.”
“Like I said, I’m not afraid, so don’t you worry about that.”
We sat and chatted for a while until I realized it was now after eleven o’clock. I hadn’t planned on keeping him here this long but already three hours had passed, and to be honest, it really didn’t feel like it. Maybe because I was thoroughly enjoying his company and I hadn’t thought about my dilemma nearly as much. It was all still in the back of my mind but I wasn’t as shaky as I had been earlier.
“You know, I really think I’m going to be okay now, so please don’t feel obligated to stay any longer.”
“Oh, so does that mean you’re kicking me out?” he said, smiling.
“No, of course not. But I don’t want to burden you any more than I already have, either.”
“Just to be safe, maybe I should stay until morning.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“No, let me explain. I don’t mean in the same bed. I’m just saying that maybe it’s a good idea I stay just in case Antonio decides to pay you another visit.”
“I don’t know,” I said, feeling a bit uneasy, because regardless of how favorably I felt toward Carl, I didn’t know if allowing him to spend the night was the right thing.
“Why? Are you worried that I’ll try to take advantage of you sexually?”
“No, I’m not saying that at all, but…”
“But you don’t trust me.”
“I’m not saying that either.”
“Actually, your hesitation is understandable and I guess I don’t blame you. But if you change your mind, my offer still stands. Even if it’s a week from now.”
“You’re such a sweet man, and thanks again for everything.”
/>
He drank the last of the sparkling juice I had gotten for him about an hour ago, and then he pulled on his leather jacket. I stared at him because, for whatever reason, I hadn’t noticed how tall he was. I knew he was over six feet, but now that I was paying closer attention, I was sure he had to be at least six two or three.
“I know you have my business number, but let me give you my home number and cell as well,” he said, removing a business card from his wallet and writing on the back of it.
“I really owe you,” I said, preparing to open the door for him.
“Not at all. Although if paying me back will make you feel better, you can do it by going to dinner with me.”
“I guess that’s the least I could do, huh?”
“Tomorrow around six?”
“Six is fine.”
“Is there any food you like in particular?”
“Pretty much any restaurant you pick will work for me.”
“Really? Then I take it you won’t mind McDonald’s or Burger King at all.”
“Whatever,” I said, and we both laughed.
“I’ll figure something out by tomorrow.”
We stood staring at each other until I finally looked in another direction. Whether I wanted to admit it or not, there was obvious chemistry between us. Chemistry that was stronger than I’d been willing to acknowledge, and the kind that frightened me. Why? Because the last time I’d connected with someone so quickly was when I’d met Antonio.
“I think by now you know that I’m really feeling you as a person. I like you a lot and I haven’t said that to another woman since my divorce.”
“I like you, too, and maybe once I have my life back in order we can spend more time together.”
“I hope so, and tomorrow will certainly be a start.”
We gazed at each other again but then Carl pulled me closer.
“I’m sorry, but…” he said, and then kissed me on the lips. “I just couldn’t leave without doing that.”
I pulled slightly away from his grasp, but after a few seconds I couldn’t resist, kissing him again. We kissed passionately and I knew I was in trouble. I knew Carl might end up being no different than the men I’d dated in the past or possibly worse, but all I could do now was have faith.
Over the past few days, I’d been praying that I would eventually find my soul mate, the man I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with. I hadn’t been thinking I’d find him this soon exactly, but I’d been praying just the same.
So maybe Carl’s being here was God’s way of saying, “Janine, after all these years, you finally decided to consult Me about your relationships, and that’s all I’ve been waiting for you to do. You finally realized that trying to handle things on your own isn’t the best thing for you.”
As Carl strode down the walkway and got inside his car, I never took my eyes off him. Partly because I wanted to make sure Antonio wasn’t lurking somewhere in the dark, making plans to attack him, and partly because I hated to see Carl go.
Needless to say I couldn’t wait for our dinner date.
Chapter 22
CHARLOTTE
“I don’t wanna wear that ugly outfit,” Marissa said, whining, and I wanted to shake her silly. It was her first day back to school since being suspended, and she was getting on my nerves.
“Well, it’s not like you have a choice,” I said.
“I wanna wear my Dora dress.”
“Marissa, how many times do I have to tell you that your Dora dress is dirty?”
“Well, it wouldn’t be if you hadn’t made Tracy go away. She would have washed it already or taken it to the cleaners.”
“But you still wouldn’t be able to wear it to school.”
“So.”
I breathed deeper than normal but continued combing her hair. I was so tired of fighting with this child, and the fact that I was still troubled by Larry’s Saturday night visit was only compounding my frustration.
“Marissa, hold your head up straight so I can finish what I’m doing.”
“No,” she said, jerking away from me.
“Marissa, get your butt back over here and sit it down in this chair before you make me spank you.”
“If you do, I’m telling Daddy.”
Before I knew it, I had snatched Marissa by her arm and practically slammed her into her seat.
But her only response was, “Ha, ha. Didn’t hurt.”
I knew she was sick but I was starting to think there was no hope for her. Not counseling, not medication, not anything.
“If you don’t put on that uniform, I’m taking your television, DVD player, and CD player out of this room.”
“Noooooo!” she said, jumping out of the chair like a maniac. “I hate you, Mommy. I hate you and I wish you were dead.”
“Marissa, for the last time, I’m warning you. Get back over here.”
“No! And I’m not wearing that stupid outfit either.”
“One…” I began counting as if it would make any difference. “Two…three…four…”
“I hate you,” she said, now throwing her stuffed animals against the wall and screaming at the top of her lungs. “I hate you and I wish Daddy had married Tracy instead of you.”
Oh, how I wanted to slap her as hard as my strength would allow, and it was taking every ounce of control I had in me not to do it. I wanted to hurt her the way heavyweight champions wanted to hurt their opponents. I wanted to knock her out in the first round and then explain my actions later.
“You know what, that’s it,” I said, dropping the comb on her desk. “Because nothing would make me happier than to hear all your schoolmates laughing at your messy hairdo.”
“I hate you,” she screamed again, and then threw herself onto her bed face forward.
When the phone rang, however, she leaped across the room to answer it.
“Hi, Daddy,” she said. “When are you coming home? No, I’m getting ready for school and Mommy is combing my hair. It’s real pretty because Mommy combs hair better than any other mother in the whole wide world. Daddy, did you buy me something? Yeahhhhh, thank you, Daddy. Matthew is in his room getting dressed. I love you, too, Daddy. Matthew,” she yelled to her brother. “Daddy wants to speak to you. Oh, and Daddy, Uncle Larry was over here Friday night for a really long time,” she said, glaring at me. “Mommy invited him over and we had so much fun with him. And then on Saturday, before we went to Grandma and Grandpa’s, he came by here again and Mommy gave him this white envelope. But she went to the bank before that and Matthew and I stayed at home until she got back.”
“Hang up, Marissa,” I heard Matthew telling her all the way from his bedroom.
“Bye, Daddy. I’ll see you after school.”
When she hung up the phone, she sashayed over to the chair and sat down the way I’d been begging her to. At the moment, she acted as though we were best friends.
“Mommy, can you finish my hair, please?”
My first thought was to send her to school looking the way she was, but I went ahead and finished her other ponytail.
“Mommy, why did you make Tracy leave?” she started up again.
“That’s really not your concern, and all you need to know is that we’ll be hiring someone else very soon.”
“But I don’t want someone else. I want Tracy.”
“Well, that’s just too bad, Marissa, because she’s not coming back.”
“I still hate you and that’s why I told Daddy Uncle Larry was over here.”
“I don’t care what you told!” I exclaimed, because my whole plot had revolved around the fact that I wanted her to blab to her father anyway. But what I hadn’t counted on was the fact that she must have been standing at the top of the stairway when Larry had showed up to get the money. I’d thought she was in her bedroom, minding her own business, but I should have known better. It was true that originally I’d wanted Curtis to find out about the money because I’d been hoping to upset him in a major way, but
now that Larry had taken other valuables and was expecting even more money today, I’d decided that the most Curtis should know about was the visit.
But this little heifer right here had ruined everything and now I had to find some way to do damage control. I wasn’t sure how I would manage it but I would have to come up with something good and fast.
“Mom,” Matthew said, walking into the room. “Dad wants to speak to you.”
“Tell him I have to finish Marissa’s hair and then get you guys off to school, but I’ll call him after that.”
I was already panicking, and the more I dwelled on the money and the jewelry, I just didn’t know how I was going to get out of this.
“Dad, Mom says she’ll have to call you back once we leave for school,” he said, and then told Curtis good-bye and pressed the off button. “He says he’ll just see you when he gets here.”
“Have you got everything packed in your book bag?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“Good. If you want, you can watch television until I finish up here and then I’ll fix a quick breakfast.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Matthew left the room and my mind wandered back to Larry.
But not for long.
“I’m not wearing that ugly uniform,” Marissa announced for the umpteenth time, even though she knew the outfit was mandatory.
But to her surprise, I was sure, I didn’t even bother arguing with her. Instead, I was going to unplug her DVD player and CD player and physically carry both of them right out of here. I’d certainly done it before and I had no problem doing it again.
I was also calling her psychiatrist to see if we could secure an earlier appointment. We’d scheduled the second one for this coming Friday, but after her ridiculous episode this morning, I wanted to get her in tomorrow or Wednesday. She was completely out of control and it just seemed to me that she needed something more than a one-hour session. Something had to be done, and the sooner it happened, the better off we’d all be in the long run.
After dropping the children at their schools, I added a load of clothing to the washer, another to the dryer, swept the kitchen floor, and called an employment agency. We had to find another housekeeper, and quick, because all of Tracy’s former duties were really starting to irritate me. Yes, there had been a time when I’d done all of the above. But not anymore. Not when Curtis earned more than enough to pay someone else to do it.
Love & Lies Page 17