by M. Merin
Bursting with nerves and with no one else to confide in, on New Year’s Day and after swearing her to secrecy, I told my Gram that I had changed my major. She gave me a huge wink and said, “Oh, is that all? Well, this will be such an exciting year for you, won’t it, Dear?” Then proceeded to giggle to herself. I’ve been watching her for further signs of dementia ever since.
I’ve kept to my deal with Gunner, although I make more frequent stops in town hoping to catch a glimpse of him. My heart accelerates every time I hear a bike around town; but any time I do see him, I end up more frustrated at our lack of contact than excited about seeing him.
I’ve gotten three texts from him. An acknowledgement of the first one I sent him, then what must have been a drunk message sent at well past midnight one night in early Fall – “Im keeping my promise to u” – and the last one after he received the Christmas present I had ordered and mailed to him. A silver lighter with the Grizzlies’ logo etched on the flat sides and an R on the narrow side below the flint. “Soon, Riley. Soon.” was all that text contained.
Classes end for me at one today and with the money my parents gave me in lieu of a physical Christmas present, I am going to a salon near campus today. I’m getting a massage, facial, and then waxed EVERYWHERE below my waist. I have no idea what to expect next week but dammit, enough waiting for my life to start.
The one part about next week that made me the most nervous resolved itself this morning. Mother was working on paperwork at home and remembered to inform me that she and father were heading to Switzerland from January 30th until the end of February. Happy Birthday to Me.
January 27
Gunner
Fucking have to get to the clubhouse for Church. There’s no missing that. This weather has been shitty and I’ve been working like hell to build up inventory. I want to really build up my furniture business and to get in with any of the stores in the area or to open my own, I have to have inventory. They won’t take one piece with a promise of more down the line and for the first time in my life, I have to consider providing for someone other than myself.
Besides, throwing myself into the work is better than seeing my Brothers getting blown or screwing the club sluts. Been heading to Rusty’s more and more so that shit isn’t right in front of me. Flint and some of the others are there regularly, what with his Ol’ Lady working there, he likes to keep close. The Girlies must have a bet going though, trying to wear me down. Never been hit with so much T&A, as I have since I got back from SD last fall.
I’ve kept my word.
Granted I’ve also become a full-fledged stalker. I’ve been paying a security guard at the University to keep an eye on her and her SUV. A sister of one of the Ol’ Ladies’ works in admissions there and gives me Riley’s schedule each semester, so I’ll know where she’ll be. Friday nights she’s with her Gram.
And her Gram, with that little fucking smile of hers. When I’m there every month. When I’m there talking about all things Not Riley, she’ll occasionally throw out little lines like, “Oh, my granddaughter was by the other day and she…”
I’ve been going there once a month for seven fucking years and she may have mentioned her granddaughter twice, now she just throws out tidbits like confetti.
Last May, I went to Mrs. R and told her that I had met Riley and wanted her to be mine when she was eighteen; like it was the 1800’s and that was acceptable behavior.
She just smiled at me and said, “I’m so sorry I didn’t think of that first. Do not screw it up.” Then she changed the subject to something benign. But I could see the wheels turning in her head and have been waiting for all the scraps of information about Riley that she dangles in front of me. I crave them, but would never ask.
‘Cause Riley’s still fucking Jailbait for another four days.
Going through the motions at Church, I can barely focus on anything. Jasper, our President notices but doesn’t call me out. I have a feeling that’s coming soon enough. Once we talk through upcoming deals and distribution options, Jasper opens the floor. Twenty fucking minutes spent on individual grievances like we’re fucking kids and can’t suck this shit up. Past that, Jasper asks the Officers to stay behind then adjourns the meeting.
Flint, Vice, Jas, and I are left. Jasper announces he and Emma are taking off for a week in March, Vice and Flint don’t seem surprised so I imagine it’s some of what I’ve missed the past couple weeks. He lays out what he needs from each of us during that time. Vice will be on distribution runs, so Flint will lead and I will still coordinate the other Enforcers while stepping up with local operations.
Looking at them and speaking up, “Brothers, I have something personal coming up. Club business is a priority, I understand, but …” Shit, may as well go all in. “There’s this girl –“
They all start laughing. “Yeah, no kidding, that why your dick’s been dry a year?” Howls Vice.
“Shut. The. Fuck. Up.” I growl. Flint and Jasper, having been there themselves sit up a bit straighter. “She’s not a goddamn hole. She’s, well, she’s more.” I stand, pounding the table on the way up. Heading towards the door, I only pause and turn as Jas calls my name.
“Good luck. OK?”
“Yeah,” I grunt back. “There might be some waves, but…” I shrug at Jas and Flint. “Yeah. See ya soon.”
The party is in full swing in the main room. The Girlies seem occupied blowing or screwing various Brothers in the corners, while the Ol’ Ladies are holding court near the bar. And I’ve gotta figure out how to bring a virgin into this. A virgin, whose father is Special Attorney assigned to Gang Activity by his best friend, the Governor of this state. A virgin, whose mother, an MD, is classified as a Consultant to the Governor’s Staff.
A sheltered virgin I’ve waited nearly a year for but will try to wait even longer for – until she’s ready.
I am the worst kind of shithead. I know the whole situation is FUBAR, but am determined to make her mine. To own her. To claim her. My mother was tied down with me at that age and despised me, so to do that to this girl is the worst kind of fucked up. But I can’t stop thinking of her eyes the first time I saw her and the primal need that came over me to take away her pain, to make her mine.
She sealed her fate when she stood up to me. Demanded something I would have nearly backhanded any other woman for suggesting. Demanding fidelity. She’s had my fidelity these past eight-plus months and will have it, but it comes with a price. She’s mine now. End of, or actually, beginning of story. And I will tear apart anyone who tries to take her from me.
Standing back against the bar, I barely register the beer in my hand or those around me. Feeling a tug on my cut, I look down ready to push away a Girlie or honey hole. But it’s Bree.
“You ok, Handsome?” She yells up over all the noise.
“You took a night off Rusty’s, Pretty Lady?” I duck her question, causing her to tilt her head to me in question.
“Real talk?” I query, knowing she’ll keep what we say close to her vest. She’s Flint’s and well-liked, but still considered an outsider by most. She doesn’t really talk about herself, and can be standoffish but has always been easy going with me.
“You know me Gunner, and you’re one of the good ones, so let it out.” She says and I nudge her away from the others to the corner of the bar. I unload. I had told Bree about my G’ma not long after she and I met, but I tell her everything about my monthly visits with Mrs. R and then later meeting Riley. I stop short of telling her my fears. That my wants and needs will push Riley away.
At one point, Flint had started to approach us, but Bree looked at him and shook her head. After looking back and forth between us, he nodded and sat across the bar. He wasn’t drinking. He was talking to those around him but was just waiting, watching us. A man who had lived fast and hard but now in his mid-fifties, wanted nothing more than to go home with his new fiancé / Ol’ Lady.
Flint is content to just let her be the woman that she is. I
haven’t known Bree long, but she sees things that others miss. She’ll address them, fixing what she can and butting out when appropriate. Thinking about the two of them, I had stopped talking. She continued to sit quietly next to me, another trait I admire. When I glance towards her again, she finally gives me her two cents.
“Gunner, let me know when she’ll be here. I know you don’t have things figured out but trust me; this is a lot for an outsider. Speaking as one.” She quickly adds, giving me a little half-smile. “Just text me, so I can try to buffer it. OK? I will make time for her, for you. Got it?”
Staring at my drink, I nod while standing. Turning to her I grab her, my unexpected bear hug causes her to laugh wholeheartedly. I see Flint rise and walk towards us. I set her back away from me but remind her, “Real talk, right, Pretty Lady? Just us for now?”
“I can’t wait to meet her. Just between us.” Then she turns and launches herself at Flint as he nears. “Take me home? I’m a bit horny,” Bree mock-whispers in his ear.
“Gunner got you horny and you want to work it off with me?” Flint gruffly demands while she sucks in his earlobe. He’s trying to hold his patented glare but throws a wink in my direction to let me know he isn’t pissed. Guess he wants her to get creative when she makes it up to him.
“Flint, you sitting across from us tonight? All pissy? Reminded me of how you’d glare at me when I wouldn’t go out with you?!” She leans back up to his earlobe. “Remember how that worked out?” She coos.
Without another word, Flint squats and tosses her over his shoulder and heads for the door – Bree’s laughter is drowned out by the hoots and suggestions from all they pass.
Chapter 5
January 31
Riley
I’m eighteen today. I had an early dinner with my Gram last night and I could barely sit still. My mind going a hundred miles an hour and my body humming, thinking of Gunner and trying to pay attention to the conversation at hand.
I cannot believe the gift she gave me! Well, I have to run by her place today to sign and date the contract, but she’s gifting me a small building close to the shopping district. Gram owns several buildings in this town and the next one over; mostly storefronts with apartments above them. As of tomorrow, I will have access to a two bedroom apartment! I can move out of my parents’ house!
The “you’re an adult and I expect you to be responsible now” part came in next. I have to find and vet a small business to move into the empty storefront. Gram let me know the average rent prices for that area, but from that I have to pay property taxes and maintain the property. I know she’ll guide me and even though I have no idea what I’m doing; I am so excited to have the opportunity to try.
But more than anything, today I can reach out to Gunner. I know he had said he would next see me on February first but I refuse to wait one more day to see him or touch him. Besides, he must have thought I would have plans with my parents today, right? They are a continent away, so rather than sit around and wait for what I want, I’m going after it.
After showering and trying on thirty combinations of jeans and t-shirts, I end up in the first set I tried on, a simple black V-neck tee and skinny jeans. Not wanting to look like I’m trying too hard, I forgo knee-high boots for my old standby; my red Converse Chuck Taylors.
I’m too anxious to eat, but don’t know what is going to happen today so I scramble up some eggs with cheddar. Leaving shortly before nine, I head to Grams and sign my first legal document.
“Well, here is your copy, Dear,” she says handing me a set. “Now let’s go and check over the space and then let’s get some coffee and croissants.
“What?” I squeak. I have someplace I want to be.
“Dear, surely you want to see your new property?” Gram looks expectantly at me as I’m standing in her foyer ready to run. “You don’t have plans I’m keeping you from, what with Ann & Bill out of the country?”
I feel like a deer in headlights, but also like she’s mocking me. Standing there with my jaw open, I know I have to agree to her unexpected plans but there’s this glint in her eyes. I quickly agree to her proposed outing; there’s no way to really explain I am about to run out and throw myself at a thirty-something biker. There’s no way that anyone who has ever met me would think that.
The next two hours of my life are torture. The building is adorable, some parking in back, a nice area for the business I need to recruit; then a newly renovated two bedroom apartment. I cannot believe every detail Gram thought of for me, and feel miserable that I want to run off. Gram starts talking about items like getting the electric, gas, water, and garbage services all transferred to me and that’s when it really occurs to me to get my head out of the clouds and pay attention. Suddenly, having a million questions to ask about these things, I shake off what I want to do and get down to business with Gram. Day one of adulting, I guess.
Dropping Gram off at the salon, and shaking nearly as hard as the day I met Gunner, I head out to the Grizzlies’ clubhouse. Pulling into the lot, I take a deep breath and get out of my truck. There are a few guys hanging around outside, two with leather vests like Gunner had on when we met. They’re smoking and stop to watch me approach; I have to get around them to get inside.
The heaviest of the three immediately makes a suggestion, which will just never happen. The guy without the vest tells me he doesn’t mind sloppy seconds, which he’s calling unless I want to start with a DP. Before I can gather myself to say anything, the third guy, who is tall and slim, tells me to get lost.
“No.” I am beet red and seriously rethinking my surprise visit, but also see Gunner’s bike parked off to the side. That spurs me on.
Tall, scary guy steps towards me, “No? The fuck you say, this is my house, Princess, you don’t belong.”
“No. Gunner. I’m here for Gunner.” Becoming more angry than scared, I seriously question my sanity.
He laughs and turns back to the others, who are still blocking my way inside. I step towards them when the sound of more bikes coming into the lot makes me turn.
Yes! I have an in. There are five of them, but in the middle of the pack, I spot Connal riding without a helmet.
I stay where I am as they secure their bikes, then just as I’m about to call out to Connal, the tall guy grabs my shoulder pushing me back towards my truck.
“Get the fuck outta here, Princess, or you won’t like what happens next.” He growls. Meanwhile, the heavy guy strokes his penis and starts talking about running a train on me.
“Connal,” I yell out, not that we haven’t garnered everyone’s attention already. “Connal, can you let Gunner know I’m here.”
Even Connal is staring at me like I’m nuts. “Jailbait? You’re Jailbait, right?” He asks, getting everyone laughing.
“Not anymore.” I grimace at the reminder.
“Well then, come on in, Sugar, and let’s see what Gunner’s gonna give you for your birthday.” He says smirking at me, the other men go into overdrive making comments and volunteering shoulders to cry on.
I’ve come this far, why not follow him into the Grizzlies’ den?
Chapter 6
Gunner
Why the fuck did I tell her tomorrow? Today’s her birthday, so she has to be with her parents, right? I want to get to her now, not tomorrow dammit.
I’m craving a smoke and on my second whiskey although it’s barely noon. Sitting at the bar, I can hear a few of the other guys are further back in the room getting their wood attended to by whichever women are still around from the night before, while Roy shows our newest Probie the ropes behind the bar.
From the yelling and laughing, it sounds like the party has kicked off in the parking lot. Shooting back my drink, I look over to the door as it opens, and promptly spit it back out.
Standing in the doorway framed by light is Riley. Fuck. Not here, not like this. Connal quickly steps up behind her, giving her a little shove while her eyes adjust to the dim light in here. Following h
er line of sight, I nearly shit myself as the first thing she sees is Needle spraying his cum on a Girlies’ face in the back of the room. Goddamn fucking hell!
I’m up and calling her name, getting her to focus on me while Connal is still pushing her further in, followed by Brothers who want front row to what they hope will be a show. Her eyes are wide and startled by the sight that greeted her; she quickly looks behind me and seems to exhale when she can see I was sitting by myself. I’ve gotta keep her calm. Shit.
I reach her, cupping my hands on either side of her face. “Today’s my birthday,” she whispers; “I thought waiting another day was…”
Leaning down to her ear, “Sweetheart, I was just thinking the same thing. Come with me, ok?” At her nod, I start to lead her back towards my room but Frank reaches up from behind Connal and makes the mistake of grabbing her arm.
“Where ya going, Gunner? Don’t be shy, we’d all like to see her get it.” He cackles as Riley grabs me around my waist with her free arm.
“Gunner?” She softly cries out.
“That’s right Honey, we all share around h…” My right fist cuts up to his jaw, ending the scene for now, though there’ll be hell to pay later. I reach down and with an arm behind Riley’s knees and shoulders, pick her up, quickly walking towards my room in the back while ignoring the comments and glares from Brothers and a Girlie or two. She has snuggled into my chest and is shaking. Fuck. How do I make this right with her?
Shifting her slightly to get my keys out of my pocket, her shaking has increased and she lets out a little noise that sounds like, like a? Giggle? Locking the door behind me, I peer down at her and she is laughing almost silently into my chest. What is wrong with her?
“Sweetheart?” I start, then stop, putting her down and starting to smile with her, although not sure why.
“I wanted to surprise you.” She gasps out. “I guess that backfired.”
“No, I am pretty surprised,” I respond, running my hand through my hair. “I had a little different plan for how I wanted this to go…”