by Ashley Meira
“You guys can sit on him or something while I do it,” said Ken. “C’mon, you want the money or not? Boss-man said these parts sell for a shit-ton of dough.”
Tom shook his head. “No way, dude. I’m not doing that.”
The bobbed brunette rolled her eyes and moved over to grab my hind legs. I kicked them both back and she rolled to the ground with a grunt.
“Damn it, Tom,” she said. “Grow a pair and help me. If you don’t do your fair share, you don’t get a cut.”
“Just kill him,” said Tom. His eyes never stayed on me for more than a second before shifting away.
The fifth person, a muscular man with a buzz cut and a tattoo of an eagle on his left bicep, spoke up. “Look, you don’t want to help – that’s fine. All that’s going to do is make this take longer. But when we get back, the boss is going to hear that you didn’t do shit, and you won’t get paid. So–” he clapped a hand on Tom’s shoulder “–what you have to ask yourself is this: do you have enough money to pay your rent next week?”
Tom sighed, running a hand through his hair, but acquiesced. He and the short haired girl placed their weight on my hind legs. With their weight, and the apparent draining effects of the binds, I wasn’t able to kick them off no matter how hard I tried. The other man and woman took my front, positioning themselves in a way that wouldn’t allow me to bite them. My heart thudded in my chest, and this time, it wasn’t from excitement.
“Shit!” Ken shook his arm, frowning at the dagger. “Fucking thing makes my arm numb.”
“It makes everyone’s arm numb, dumbass,” the third man growled. “If you can’t handle it, then get over here and hold him while I do it.”
I roared again, furious at being regarded as nothing more than a piece of meat. Who did these humans think they were? I was a king, and they planned to take me out? They wanted to skin me alive? These disgusting creatures, I would–
My thoughts were cut off by a horrible burning agony at my flank.
And the world went dark.
Now I was a wolf, howling in pain as the knife dug into my flesh. Hot blood ran down my side, pooling near my face as I watched it stain the dirt red through a hazy filter. Blood forced its way out of my mouth, coating the inside full of hot, sickeningly tangy liquid. I could feel the ropes slicing against my bones, but when I opened my mouth to scream again, nothing came out but a sickening crack.
I was a wolf again, smaller this time. Female.
“Shit,” Ken hissed as I screamed out a tortured roar.
My legs felt like they were on fire. Everything was a giant pulsing wave of hurt washing over me again and again.
“You dumbass,” the long haired woman yelled. “How do you mess up sawing through a bone?”
“I just figured ‘more pieces, more product,’ right?” said Ken.
“You’re a fucking idiot,” Tom muttered, struggling to keep me from kicking out.
The other man spoke up. “Give me the knife, I’ll do it.”
“No!” Ken clutched the knife to his chest protectively, and through the darkening cloud that filled my vision, I watched my blood seep into his shirt where the blade pressed against it. “It’s mine–”
The short haired girl rolled her eyes. “Oh please–”
“Whatever,” Ken spat. “I’ve done this the most times, which means I have the most experience.” Looking into his frenzied eyes, I believed him. They looked as if he’d been cutting up people his whole life. They hadn’t looked like that in the first memory. What happened? Was it the knife? Or did he just go crazy? Maybe he’d always been crazy and the knife just brought it out.
“Fucking hell,” he continued. “I’ll do the bones later. I’m taking a break and going for the eyes.”
The last thing I saw was the tip of the dagger and the unmistakable glint of pleasure in Ken’s eyes as he leaned in.
“Where are you going, Alice?”
I turned around. It was Marshall. He looked cleaner than in prison, his stubble all but gone. The lines of his face weren’t as deep; they were more relaxed, happier. Even his voice was lighter, less burdened.
“We need more herbs,” I whispered, straightening out my simple blue dress. It was strappy and patterned with red flowers. It was my favorite; I’d seen it on one of our rare trips to the city, and Marshall bought for me for our first anniversary. I remembered the surprise and joy that came over me when I unwrapped my gift and saw it resting there.
“Sweetheart, it’s too dangerous.” Marshall placed his hands on my shoulders and looked deep into my eyes. My heart fluttered at the sight of his warm brown eyes, the eyes I’d fallen in love with.
I cupped his cheeks and placed a kiss on his lips. “Allen is sick, my love, and the apothecary has run out of the herbs we need.”
“It’s only a cold. He’ll be fine. Please, it’s too dangerous. It’s already past curfew.”
“He’s our son,” I insisted. A coughing fit drew our attention to the room down the hall. “I don’t want him to be in pain knowing I could have done something to help him. It will only take me a few minutes. I promise I won’t go far.”
Marshall shook his head. “Let me do it.”
“You don’t know which herbs to get, silly.” I giggled. “Ten minutes. Please, Marshall, it’s going to rain soon; no one will be wandering around the woods tonight.” Our lips met once more and I wrapped my arms around his neck, sighing contentedly against his lips as I felt his arms wrap around my back. “I love you.”
His eyes glimmered with adoration. “I love you, too.”
I was only five minutes away from the village when the sound of a twig snapping made me jump. Placing a hand on my chest, feeling my heart thrum underneath my palm, I took a deep breath and kept on walking. Sometimes, having enhanced hearing isn’t such a blessing. It was likely a deer running around past the cliff’s edge. If I took a few steps to the right, I could peer over and see it. I didn’t, though, because the herbs came into view, their yellow buds peeking out through the remaining patches of grass. I hustled over, but my foot hit a rock and I tripped.
The pleasant sensation of shifting spread through me. My claws scraped against hard rock before I did a roll and landed on all fours.
“Finally!”
“Dude, shh.”
I turned around only to be knocked off my feet. A frightened yelp escaped me as ropes dug into my ankles. How were ropes holding me down? Was it magic? The situation hit me and I screamed, the sound pulling into another roar. My eyes darted around, landing on the cliff I’d fallen from. Oh Spirits, I’d dropped from one of the highest parts. With the distance, and the rock face blocking the sound, would my pride hear me? My next roar was as loud as I could make it, but it was cut short when Ken stabbed me through the mouth. The howl of pain that would have followed was muted, too, and tears streamed down my face like a waterfall.
“Roll her farther away,” Tom hissed. “We’re way too close to their village.”
Twigs and pebbles dug into my skin, a few glancing against my eyes. Nothing compared to the pain in my mouth or around my ankles. What kind of objects could do this? Who would do this? Why were they doing this to us? I just wanted to gather some herbs for my sick child.
“We’re not far enough yet,” said Tom.
“Stop being such a pussy,” said the muscular man. “We haven’t had any problems so far.”
“Don’t be so cocky,” Tom told him. “We’ll have more than problems if they catch us.”
“Screw that,” said the long haired girl. “We’ll be fine. Let’s just hurry this up so we can get paid.”
“We’ve made enough money,” Tom said, though he didn’t make any move to help me or stop his friends. “They’ve got curfews now, too. We won’t be able to keep this up.”
“I agree with Tom,” the bobbed brunette said. “This is getting out of hand. We’ve got more than enough.”
“More than enough?” Ken scoffed, his sunken eyes wild. “There’s no
such thing. Dude, we’re in the gold. The boss says now that they’re in hiding, the supply is limited. That means we can charge more. Don’t you want more?”
“She said we have enough,” Tom said.
“That wasn’t a no.”
Tom bit his lip, averting his eyes. “Whatever, man. Don’t act like that’s what this is about. You’re only doing this because it gets you off.”
“So what? What do you care as long as the cash comes in? I’ve never heard you complain about how we do things before,” said the third man. “Didn’t we already have this discussion the first time?”
“We have enough money to pay our rent this time,” said the bobbed brunette.
“Fine,” said the man. “You don’t want the pay from this one, walk away.”
Tom and the girl exchanged looks. After a beat, they nodded and continued pushing me farther into the forest, way out of hearing range of my pride, my Marshall.
My vision was blurred with tears, but the pain was crystal clear. There was no knife to skewer my roars this time, and my ears rung with the repeated screams they pulled from me. White hot pain ripped through me with each slice. I wanted to transform back, to beg for them to stop using words they knew in a form they would sympathize with. But I couldn’t. My body wouldn’t shift. It wasn’t the pain; I’d shifted while injured before. Was it the dagger? The bindings?
With the crying and the pain, I couldn’t breathe. Spirits, why was I still alive? Please, please just kill me. Please.
Marshall’s face flashed into my mind. His smile, his eyes. They way he held me, the way he kissed me, the look in his eyes when I told him I was pregnant, when he first held Allen. Allen, with his big blue eyes and toothy grin. His teeth were coming in nicely, and he’d just said “Mama” three days ago.
No. Don’t kill me. Please, please, please. I don’t want to die, please! I’ll take all the pain, you can take whatever you want, just please let me see my family again!
The pain faded just for a moment as the realization hit me. I would never hear my baby call me “Mama” again. I would never see him smiling up at me again, reaching for me with his chubby little hands. I would never see Marshall again, never feel his arms around me, never look into his loving brown eyes again.
Those eyes were the last thing I saw before everything went black once more.
13
“NO!”
I hit the floor, hot tears running down my face the same way Alice’s had. The pain had felt so real. Even now, my body tingled with the remaining effects of those items’ vile magic. It was no longer the slow, agonizing feeling of my skin being carved out or my bones being sawed off, but the thoughts played in my mind on repeat, leaving me little more than a pitiful mess trembling on the concrete floor as I hacked out the bile coating my throat and tongue. Something brushed against my arm and I jumped, letting out a nervous shudder.
“It’s me,” Alex said softly. “You’re safe now.”
Despite his words, it was impossible to miss the way his fingers trembled as they gripped my waist – the way his words came out in a rushed, breath as if he was trying to convince himself as much as me. I clung to him, hating the way I was shaking but taking comfort in the fact that I wasn’t alone in feeling this way. The flame raging next to us was a pale blue, almost white. It was a strange thing to notice, but everything around me passed by in a slow segue; I was seeing but not seeing, my mind in a heavy fog.
My tears soaked through his sweater, and I let out another shuddery exhale. Marshall’s eyes filled my mind for a second before the brown turned to blue, the edges widening as they changed shape. Alex’s eyes. I gripped his cheek, pulling him close until our foreheads were pressed together. His pupils were wide to the point where his eyes were almost entirely black, but they were still his eyes.
I thought of Alice, about how her last thoughts were of her husband and son, how she was willing to sacrifice everything to see them again. I understood. Maybe not to the extent she did, but I could still relate. I clung to Alex so tightly my fingers cramped up. His face blurred as a new wave of tears flooded out. I collapsed against him, trembling violently.
Underneath the fear and pain, there was a pool of rage bubbling up inside me. The way that guy, Ken, behaved, the monster he became… I don’t know how they tortured him, any of them, but I knew it wasn’t enough.
“Are you okay?” I whimpered out. “You saw it, too. Did–”
“I can’t believe he did this,” Alex whispered. “He tried to back out a few times, but he always caved. I can’t believe–” He pursed his lips, burying his face into my hair.
I could believe it. I wasn’t sure what it said about how jaded I was that their depravity didn’t surprise me. Their actions surprised me, yes, but the depths to which they sunk as they continued their activities didn’t. Seeing the results of that depravity still fucked me up, which I was grateful for. It made me feel human. I rubbed the tears out of my eyes with one hand, pressing Alex’s head to my shoulder with the other. His grip around me tightened and we sat there, taking comfort in one another’s presence.
Once my tears dried up and I could, for the most part, breathe through my nose again, I pulled away from him. From this distance, the reddened veins of his eyes were startlingly clear, though I wasn’t about to hurt his manly feelings by pointing that out. I pushed some hair away from his face, giving him a shaky smile. His hands were clammy against mine, but he managed to return my smile with a halfhearted one of his own.
“Are you feeling better?” he asked.
“You’re always worried about me,” I said. “Even when you’re hurting.”
“Look who’s talking.” He closed his eyes and sighed. “I’ll be fine.”
“I wouldn’t be,” I said. “I– I want to be there for you, the way you are for me. This is probably the worst time ever to have this discussion–” I pursed my lips, hoping the room was dark enough to cover my burning cheeks. “It just feels like it’s been all about my issues. I mean, I know we haven’t known each other that long, but–” God, this was way too embarrassing, especially since I realized there was no way Catherine and Tamlin had missed a word I said.
Alex’s smile was more genuine this time. “What happened to keeping things–”
I clamped a hand over his mouth and shushed him. “There is a child here.”
“Hey,” Tamlin cried, frowning from his position near Catherine. “I am not a child.”
Catherine chuckled weakly as she leaned against him. “I think you just proved her point, my dear.”
“I was going to say ‘casual.’” Alex stood up, pulling me to him.
I looked into his eyes, forcing myself to memorize every detail. “Maybe you changed my mind.”
“Maybe,” he repeated.
“If you two are finished…” Catherine trailed off. Her knowing smile was back in place, the exhaustion she’d displayed a few seconds ago all but gone. “Was that enough proof for you?”
“How many?” I asked. “Sullivan said there have been at least a dozen.”
“Alice was the fifteenth,” she said. “Those hunters spoke of a ‘boss,’ do you know who that could be?” I guess that’s why they were interrogating them.
Alex nodded. “We think it’s Wright, Sullivan’s right-hand man.”
“Wright the right,” Tamlin said with a boyish grin. “I love that name. Title. Whatever.”
“Sullivan will not – cannot – act without proof,” said Catherine.
“When we first arrived,” said Alex, “Sir Wallace mentioned he had a friend giving him information. That’s you, isn’t it?”
“It is.” She nodded toward the stairs. We made our way up in single file as she continued speaking. “However, my word alone won’t do anything. When I first experienced these visions, I noticed the dagger and ropes were magic – dark magic. Now, someone like me cannot be seen walking around the city trying to trace the source. But a mage invited by Sullivan… I’m told magic use
rs in the Order tend to stick with their own kind?”
“All beings in the world prefer staying with their own kind,” I said. “Usually, at least. But yeah, Order mages prefer to sign up for postings that require specialized task forces.”
She led us to a sitting room. I sunk into a sofa I swore was the best thing I’d ever experienced, letting out a happy sigh as Alex wrapped his arm around my shoulder.
“It is fortunate, then,” said Catherine, “that Sullivan has a personal connection to an independent magic user. Inviting you would be much less suspicious. In a perfect world, he would have invited you as a guest, but he didn’t believe you’d accept anything less than a direct summon, which he can’t issue without a reason.”
Sullivan knew me better than I thought. “You managed to capture all those hunters without me,” I said, smothering a violent yawn against Alex’s shoulder. Apparently, two short naps after burning out all my magic wasn’t enough to put me back in top shape. Go figure.
“Not their boss,” she said. “I wish I could say it was a surprise to hear Wright is behind this, but it isn’t; his disdain for our kind is well known.”
“We should tell Sir Wallace,” Alex said. “See what he can do.”
Tamlin looked between us, eyes lingering on my frown. “Morgan doesn’t agree.”
Alex turned to me, but I avoided his eyes in favor of speaking to the floor. “I don’t. If Sullivan was capable of doing something, he would have done it already. We need to find proof before he can act; the Council won’t tolerate vigilante justice. Not from its hunters.”
“What proof?” he asked.
“The dagger,” said Catherine. “Bindings, too. Neither were found with the hunters, and one of them admitted Ken would pass the items off to Wright when they were done. None of them knew what he did with them, though.”
“Wait,” said Alex. “You knew it was Wright? Then, why ask us?”
“To see if you knew or if we needed to tell you,” said Tamlin. “Duh. I mean, c’mon, the dude’s name makes him sound like he should be a Batman villain.”