by Helen Phifer
‘He’s been a little angel, no bother at all.’
Jake sniggered. ‘Thank God he doesn’t take after his mother.’
‘You’re on fine form today, Jake.’
Jake patted Annie’s back. ‘Sorry, I promise I’ll behave from now on. I think it must be funeral nerves. They make me want to laugh and joke to remember that I’m still alive.’
They all followed Alex into the kitchen where Alice was scooting around in her baby walker and stuffing cheesy puffs into her mouth. Kav shook his head. ‘Bugger me, there are kids everywhere. How did that happen?’
Cathy laughed. ‘Surely at your age you know exactly how that happens.’
Alice took one look at him and forced her little legs to manoeuvre the walker in his direction where she slammed straight into his shins. He bent down and tugged her from the walker.
‘It’s a good job I like you, kid; I wouldn’t let your dad get away with that kind of behaviour.’
He winked at her and she began to giggle. Jake kissed both Alfie’s and his daughter’s cheeks then ran upstairs to get changed. Annie looked at Alex.
‘Apparently his balls are on fire.’
Alex’s laughter filled the room. ‘Well, that makes a change.’ He took some bottles of lager out of the fridge and offered them around. Annie shook her head. Both Kav and Cathy took one, opening them and drinking them in a couple of gulps. Putting Alfie down into the bouncer, she set about making herself a coffee.
‘Was it bad?’
Annie nodded.
‘Really bad – I hate funerals. Why do people have to die?’
Kav took hold of her hand. ‘What did I tell you? That it’s not your fault Stu decided to play silly buggers and made some terrible choices.’
Alex took hold of her other hand. ‘How’s Will?’
‘I don’t know. He’s gone to the crematorium and then he’s going to the wake for a bit. I said I’d meet him here, so I can drive him home. It will do him good to get it out of his system.’
Jake came back downstairs wearing a pair of cut-off denim shorts and a white vest top.
Kav started laughing. ‘Bloody hell, it’s George Michael in the flesh.’
Jake stuck two fingers up at Kav and took a bottle of lager from Alex and lifted it up. ‘To Stuart: let’s hope you’re much happier up there than you were down here.’
They all lifted their bottles; Annie lifted her mug and everyone said in unison, ‘To Stuart.’
Chapter Two
A loud knock on the door made Jake jump up off his chair. He managed to spill lager all down his front and stain his perfect white vest. He looked out of the living room window and laughed.
‘Watch out, the rozzers are here. It’s a raid.’
Annie peered out of the window and gasped to see Will being helped out of the back of the locked cage of a police van, which was normally reserved for criminals.
‘Oh shit.’
The two young policemen who were standing at the back of the cage both had their arms out ready to catch Will. It was a good job they did because he stumbled, missed the step and landed in their arms. He tried his best to straighten up then saluted them both. Jake, who was standing at the front door, watched the scene before him with a huge grin on his face. The two policemen took an arm each and walked Will up Jake’s path. They were both red-faced. Jake shook his head.
‘Now then, William; we give you a couple of hours’ freedom from your everyday life and look what happens! You’re completely shit-faced.’
Will nodded his head in agreement. ‘I can’t argue with that.’
Jake took hold of his arm so the other two could let go. As they did, Will stumbled forwards, almost taking Jake down with him. Annie, who was standing behind Jake holding Alfie, moved out of the way.
‘I better get him home. Help me to get him in the car, please, Jake.’
‘Wouldn’t you be better letting him come in and have some water? You could stop here tonight.’
Will chuckled. ‘Bloody water – are you having a laugh? I want whisky on the rocks, you pack of pussies.’
Annie was mortified at the state he was in. She wanted to throw a bucket of cold water over him to sober him up. She hadn’t seen him this drunk for a very long time and she didn’t like it. One of the coppers coughed.
‘Erm, are you all right now, Sarge? Do you need anything else or is it okay if we get on?’
‘Course it is, thanks for the lift.’ Will saluted again, making them both smile. They nodded at Jake who waved his hand at them.
Annie passed Alfie to Alex. ‘I want to get him home. I haven’t got enough stuff for Alfie to stop here and I want to sleep in my own bed. Thank you for the offer, though, Jake.’
‘Well, leave him here. Me and Kav can stick him in the spare bed and you can pick him up in the morning or I can drop him off on my way to work at twelve.’
The look of horror that passed across her face must have made Jake wonder if there was something wrong.
‘I can’t. I don’t like being left on my own now there’s Alfie. Please, just help him into the front seat. I’ll be okay getting him home. I can manage.’
‘Your choice. What if he pukes all over those nice leather seats?’
‘Then he’ll clean it up when he’s sober. Shit. How have you got in this state, Will?’
‘No breakfast; felt sick. Lots and lots of whisky.’
‘You don’t even like whisky.’
She shook her head. She wasn’t angry with him for getting in such a state because she understood completely; she just didn’t like it. He’d wanted to blot it all out and who could blame him? Jake and Kav led him to her car. She ran inside to get her keys, which Alice had been playing with. Clicking the car open she watched from the window as Jake and Kav manhandled Will into the front seat and strapped him in. Jake turned away, waving his hand in front of his nose. He came back into the house.
‘Keep the windows down because you’re likely to get drunk off the fumes radiating from him. He stinks like a brewery.’
‘Thanks, Jake.’
She grabbed Alfie’s changing bag and carried him to the car. Kav, who had been watching Will to make sure he didn’t vomit and choke on his own sick, stepped back. He took the changing bag from her and opened the door so she could put Alfie into his car seat. When she’d strapped him in he shut the door.
‘Would you like me to follow you and help you get him to bed?’
‘No, thanks; anyway, you’ve had a drink. If I can’t get him out of the car I’ll chuck a duvet over him until he’s slept it off.’
‘If you’re sure?’
She nodded and he bent down to kiss her cheek.
‘Don’t be too hard on him. Sometimes a man’s got to blow off a bit of steam and he’s been guilt-tripping over Stu since the night it happened. Maybe now he’ll be able to put it to one side and stop beating himself up over it.’
‘I’m not mad with him; I know he blames himself. Christ, I blame myself. I’m just shocked to see him dressed in his Sunday best and drunk as a skunk in such a short space of time. Thanks, Kav.’
He walked away and went back inside Jake’s house. Jake and Cathy waved her off, Jake mouthing ‘You know where I am if you need me’.
She nodded and lifted her hand to wave goodbye.
She looked at her husband. ‘Will, if you’re going to be sick, make sure you let me know so I can pull over.’
‘Urgh.’
Fifteen minutes later, as she got out of Ulverston, she heard him begin to retch.
‘Hold on, don’t you dare.’
Managing to pull into a lay-by, she got out of the car and ran around to his side, throwing his door open just as a stream of projectile vomit came her way. She couldn’t get him out of the car. They were parked on a busy road and if members of the public saw him in full police uniform puking everywhere there’d be a complaint in before they got home.
She waited until he wiped his sleeve across his mouth a
nd stuck his thumb up at her, then she slammed his door shut. Getting him through the winding lanes and back to their home in Hawkshead was going to be fun. Thankfully, by the time she’d got back to her side of the car, Will was snoring. She looked back across her shoulder at Alfie who was also fast asleep, his thumb in his mouth and his blanket pulled up around his chin. She felt her heart surge. There was no better love than a mother for her child. Every time she saw him her heart filled with joy.
She looked at Will – her handsome knight in shining armour – and was thankful she had such an amazing family, even if she was annoyed with her husband. She drove the rest of the way home listening to Will’s gentle snores. When she pulled up outside their secluded cottage he opened his eyes and looked at her.
‘Sorry.’
‘Don’t be daft. I love you.’
Alfie was still fast asleep so she opened the front door of the house then went back to help Will out of the car. He was slightly better than when Jake had put him in. Wrapping her arm around his waist she helped him inside, leading him to the huge corner sofa in the lounge. He stumbled towards it, but she kept hold of him.
‘We need to get you undressed, Will. You’ll ruin your tunic if you fall asleep in it.’
He winked at her. ‘Any excuse to see me naked – admit it, you can’t resist me.’
He fumbled with his tunic buttons, but failed. Annie deftly undid them and tugged it off. She pulled his tie over his head and unbuttoned his shirt. He fell onto the sofa and lay down. She ran outside to bring Alfie in, locking the car and then the front door behind her. He was still asleep. She was so lucky he hadn’t woken when she transferred him from the car.
She went back to Will who was now snoring loudly. She untied his laces and pulled his shoes off, followed by his trousers. His muscular, tanned legs looked good in just a pair of white Calvins. Even though it was a warm day outside, it was much cooler inside the house. It always was so she ran upstairs to get a duvet from the spare room, which she threw over him. Alfie opened his eyes and began crying. She picked him up and rocked him.
‘Shhh, don’t wake Daddy. Come on, it’s me and you. Let’s get some tea.’
She carried him into the kitchen and put him into his high chair. After feeding Alfie and making herself a sandwich and mug of coffee, she turned the television on and saw the news headline flash across the screen: ‘Body found in house on Roose Road, Barrow-in-Furness’.
The camera panned to the front of a freshly painted white house and Annie felt her blood run cold as it zoomed in on the bright blue front door with the white plant pots either side that were filled with lilac and purple pansies. The mug of coffee slipped from her fingers. It smashed into pieces all over the breakfast bar sending hot liquid and pottery everywhere.
She paused the television and looked at the mess she’d made, relieved it had landed on the worktop and nowhere near her baby. That house, she’d had a bad dream about it last night. She had been tossing and turning in her sleep then woken up in a cold sweat feeling sick and breathless. Alfie had begun to cry, which in turn had made her forget all about it until now.
Surely this was just a coincidence; there must be hundreds of white houses with blue doors. But how many have the identical plant pots and flowers from your dream either side of the door? Mopping up the mess she’d made she wondered what it all meant. The inside of the house had looked lovely through the window, very shabby chic, and everything inside was white with touches of colour. It reminded her a little of this house – her home – and she shuddered.
She left the television paused, not able to watch what the gory details were. She didn’t want to know, and if she didn’t, then it should have nothing to do with her, should it? It was a huge coincidence, nothing else. Annie set about checking all the doors and windows were secure. She was going to put Alfie to bed then have a long, hot soak in the bath. An early night with the bed all to herself would do her good, as long as Alfie slept for a few hours, that was. He hadn’t been settling well of a night lately and she didn’t know if he was teething or just going through a phase. She picked him up and carried him upstairs where she laid him in his cot while she ran a bath for herself.
__________________________
Will opened one eye and turned his head to look where he was because he couldn’t remember. The movement made him groan. His head was pounding and moving it made him feel sick again. For a minute he panicked. The last time he’d woken up in this state he’d almost lost Annie. He’d woken up next to Laura – one of his colleagues – after a drunken fumble. Annie had found them together.
He reached out beside him, glad there was no one next to him. The dirty grey light that was coming through the blinds was just enough for his eyes to adjust to his surroundings. He was at home, on the sofa, thank God. He remembered Stu’s funeral. He’d felt so bloody guilty about it all. He’d gone back to the wake where he and Debs had sunk shots of whisky at the bar, both of them comparing their guilt: Debs because Stu had caught her having an affair and Will because he’d come home that night to find a drunken, angry Stu straddling his very pregnant wife.
He wondered if Annie was mad at him and how the hell she’d managed to get him here, because he didn’t remember any of it except for the whisky at the bar. Christ, he must have been hammered. He lifted his arm out of the duvet to see his shirt was gone. His mouth felt like a sewer. He needed water.
Forcing himself to slowly sit up, he felt his stomach lurch. He was never drinking again. He stood up and stumbled into the coffee table, banging his shin. The glass of water Annie had left there for him tipped over and he cursed as the cold liquid ran down his legs and feet. Holding his head, he managed to make it into the kitchen where he got a bottle of water from the fridge and also found three paracetomol.
The television was still on and he wondered why Annie had paused it, then gone to bed. Picking up the remote he pressed play and watched the news clip, his heart sinking. Bollocks, another murder. It had been a while since there had been one in Barrow and he’d kind of liked the break. The last murders had been in Hawkshead.
He wondered where his phone was and if anyone from work had called him. He’d put a day’s holiday in for yesterday, so technically they should have left him alone and called whoever the duty DS was. The kitchen clock told him it was four a.m. Thank God he still had time to go to bed for a few hours before he had to get up for work. Today was going to be a ball-ache if he was still feeling like this, not to mention he wouldn’t be able to drive himself in to work. At times like this he missed Stu the most. He would have just phoned him to come and pick him up. Fuck, what a mess.
As he got upstairs he tried his best not to crash into the walls or doors and disturb either his wife or their baby. He went into the bathroom where he splashed cold water all over his face and brushed his teeth, then he sprayed some aftershave on so he didn’t stink of eau du whisky. Alfie began to cry and Will went into his bedroom to pick him up. A bleary-eyed Annie met him on the landing.
‘Sorry, I don’t know how I got into such a state.’ He pulled her towards him and hugged her. ‘Are you really mad at me?’
Rubbing her eyes she laughed. ‘No, I’m not, although if you’d have puked inside the car and not outside of it this episode would have a different ending.’
Will groaned. ‘I’m such a disgrace.’
She nodded in agreement. ‘Yes, you are, but you smell much better now and I’m lonely in that big bed on my own so I forgive you.’
He kissed her and Alfie let out a scream.
‘I swear that kid knows when I want you to myself for a bit.’
They both walked into his bedroom where the night light had gone out. Annie walked over to his cot and picked him up. Alfie immediately stopped crying as he snuggled closer to her. Will led the way back to their bedroom where he got into bed and sighed. Annie sat down in the big, squashy armchair that doubled up as her reading and nursing chair. She began to feed Alfie. Grabbing a blanket off the
radiator she wrapped it around them to keep them warm.
__________________________
Will was asleep again as soon as his head hit the pillow and she envied him a little. When she’d insisted on breastfeeding, she hadn’t really thought about the night feeds. Still, Will was the one working and she was at home, so it didn’t really matter. And Alfie was having fewer feeds now that he was on solid food. As Alfie suckled, she closed her eyes and began to drift off. It wasn’t long before she was dreaming.
She was back inside the house with the bright blue door and she wondered why. This time she let herself go inside. She felt as if she was the first officer at the scene. Trepidation about what she was about to find filled her. The downstairs was pristine. The smell of lemon furniture polish filled the air, but it was tinged with something that smelt much darker. An underlying smell of copper lingered in the air. As she got closer to the stairs the coppery smell was much stronger.
Annie knew what blood smelt like. She’d been in her fair share of violent scrapes. The only sound in the house was the sound of a tap dripping. It was coming from upstairs. Annie looked down to see if she was wearing her uniform and had her baton and CS gas, but she was in her pyjamas. As she climbed the first step she knew she should try and wake herself up. What if this wasn’t a dream and it was dangerous? She had nothing to protect herself with.
Her feet ignored her brain and carried on walking up until she reached the top step. She heard a door slam and heavy footsteps heading in her direction. Pressing herself against the wall and trying to blend in, she held her breath as someone came towards her. It took all her might not to let out a scream at the clown who came running towards her. She’d never been fond of clowns and to see this one in this strange house where she could smell blood wasn’t good at all.
It was dressed in a black and white stripy outfit with the scariest clown mask she’d ever seen. Thanking her lucky stars it hadn’t seen her, she watched as whoever it was ran down the stairs and out of the back door. Annie was torn. She didn’t know if she should follow the scary clown or carry on towards the open bedroom door where the smell was coming from.