"If you're sure..." He didn't sound convinced.
"I'm sure. I promise I'll be fine." Or maybe not. If she was left alone to her self-destructive thoughts, she might just lose it altogether.
"Okay. When I get back, we'll figure out when the best time is to move everything over here, if you want. It shouldn't be too long. We're just meeting the team and filling out some papers." Rising to his feet, Hunter held his hands out to her. "Just text me if you need anything."
She hugged him, knowing he had to leave, but she wasn't ready to let him go yet. Her heart pushed and pulled when it came to Hunter. She needed and wanted him there, but sometimes the idea of having a little peace and someone not hovering over her sounded good, too. Finally, she pulled away. "Have I been so bad you worry about leaving me alone?" Why did she actually have to ask? Even she knew how silly it was! She'd been horrible!
His eyes widened. "Honestly? Yes. But it's not like anyone can blame you. What you went through is more than enough to break the strongest person, and you've always been strong. You were forced to face your biggest fear. I'm afraid too, but I know it's nothing compared to what you must feel. It's not something anyone should take lightly, Bec. Of course I worry about you. You keep looking for her, you're not sleeping, and you hardly want to leave the house. If I have to admit it, then here it is. I'm afraid if I leave you, I might not be able to get back to you again." He wrapped her in his arms again. "This is the hardest part, knowing you're hurt and scared and there's nothing I can do about it. I get it, angel. I get exactly what you felt a few weeks ago." He combed his fingers in her hair.
She held him tight, taking in his words. God, what a mess the past few weeks turned out to be. This was the summer they were supposed to enjoy falling in love and the newness of a relationship. Instead, they were both on edge, full of fear and doubt, and unsure of things. They were barely hanging on some days. Their lives had already been so complicated and full of turmoil.
"As much as I want to stay and hold you right here, I really do have to go," Hunter whispered. He took a step back and held her gaze. "I'm always going to be here for you. I may not always know what to do, but I'm right here. Remember that." He leaned over to kiss her lips. "I love you."
"I love you too."
As he walked away to head out for the appointment, emptiness settled inside. She did love Hunter, but she was honestly afraid of what the future held. She didn't know how long she could hold on and try to be strong when all she really wanted was to break down and let it all out. Never had she felt such an intense rage like this. She'd gone through a mix of emotions after waking up a different girl after the accident. This was different. Strange and scary, her mind was a place of darkness, something she'd never dealt with before.
Hunter was right. She kept looking for Carrie everywhere. That stunt she'd pulled at the fund raiser put her on edge, let alone everyone else. She woke up night after night at every sound, thinking she'd come back and would finish the job. If she slept decent, then Hunter didn't.
Drawing in a deep breath, Becca headed for Sienna's room to work more on the mural. Her painting had suffered as well. She'd been doing it on and off when the muse was willing, and she wanted to get it finished soon.
*****
"That went rather well," Hunter said to Eva after the speech therapist left. "Sienna seemed to enjoy it." He turned back to watch his daughter, who had climbed up on the couch next to Beverly and Todd.
Eva seemed lost in thought. "Yeah, it did." She sounded very distracted. She'd been that way off and on for the past few weeks. Hunter chalked it up to her working through things. She'd been very civil with him when they talked at least. "How's Becca doing?" Eva asked with genuine sincerity.
"Not too well. She got an email this morning from the school. She doesn't have a job in the fall. She says they claim budget cuts, but she has a feeling it's because of everything that happened and that she's not able to speak."
"That sucks." Eva frowned, shoving her hands in her jeans pockets.
"Yeah. She's pretty bummed. She did decide she's going to stay here and leave Vermont." As long as while he was gone Becca didn't change her mind, anyway. For the most part, he didn't think she would, but there was that doubting voice in the back of his mind who said otherwise.
"That's what you both wanted, right?"
"Yes, but not like this." Definitely not the route he wanted things to go.
"What's this I hear? Becca lost her job?" Beverly shot up from her spot on the couch. Sadness reflected in her eyes as she locked her attention on Hunter.
He nodded, relaying the same message to her.
"Poor girl. That must feel terrible. I hate that it happened this way, but I'm more than happy she's going to be moving here. Now if only the answers she needs would come, maybe it would help. And how are you doing with all this, Hunter?"
"Not so well," he admitted. "I can't reach her right now, and it's never been like this before. I do have to say, I know where everyone is coming from now with how you felt about me a few weeks ago." If only he'd learned this sooner, some of the current problems could be avoided.
"Are you able to talk about your nightmares? How are your appointments going?"
Hunter flinched. He'd only gone to the initial one. Well, he'd made it to the parking lot. He hadn't gone back. Another promise broken. He really did have every intention on going in, but he just couldn't walk through those doors that day.
Eva disappeared upstairs without another word. He stared after her. Not that it mattered where she went, but he found it a good distraction instead of answering.
"Hunter?" Beverly pressed.
"I went once. With everything going on, I haven't been back." He should have just told the truth. Why did he have to blurt out a lie? Did it have to be so difficult to admit when he was wrong?
Beverly put a firm hand on his shoulder and looked him right in the eye. "Honey, I know you're worried about Becca. We all are, but you need to take care of yourself, too. This isn't going to go away on it's own. With what happened recently, it can only make matters worse. Don't hide behind Becca's fears to avoid taking care of your own. You both are in a vulnerable place and you're going to need each other's strength and support more than ever. You need to face what's going on with you."
Hunter took her words to heart. Much as he hated to admit it, Beverly was right. He had been hiding. "It's just hard having to go through the nightmares and the crash over and over again," he said quietly. "It feels like it'll never end."
"It will, son. You both will get past this, even if it takes time." Beverly hugged him. "We're here for both of you. I wish Becca could have come today."
"I do too. I hate leaving her, but I can't push too hard either. Some days I wonder if she blames me for what happened." Some days? Try every damn day. He blamed himself.
Beverly's face crumpled. "Hunter, you have to stop doing this to yourself. You can't take the blame for everything that goes wrong with those you love. Did you have the idea to take Becca on a plane and do God knows what with her? I know you feel like you made this happen because you ran off upset, but you didn't do this. Do you hear me? This is exactly why you have to talk to someone. You carry years and years of guilt that you shouldn't have to and it's taking a toll."
Hunter opened his mouth, completely flabbergasted.
"She's right, you know." Todd moved to stand by his wife. "You keep apologizing to me for all the commotion caused at the airport. You didn't do anything wrong."
He sighed. "I get your point. I'll go back. I need to get past this. There's too many conflicting feelings in my head and it's getting worse." No doubt about it.
"Daddy!" Sienna tugged on his hand.
Hunter smiled at his daughter as he picked her up. Right there was one big reason to get better. Sienna needed him, too. "I love you, Princess." He wrapped her in a hug, then tickled her belly. Sienna squealed in bouts of laughter. He peered at Todd and Beverly over Sienna's head. "Are things goi
ng well here?" He jerked his head at the stairs, hoping they understood he meant Eva.
Beverly nodded. "A day at a time, that's what we're all doing."
He understood. "I think that's all we can do lately. Thank you both for everything. I'm going to see when Becca wants to go back to deal with her apartment. I love that she's going to be here now. I just hate that she had to lose her job because of all this."
"There's always a reason for everything." Beverly's eyes held compassion.
Hunter was about to say something, but the ringing of his phone stopped him. "Sorry." He set Sienna down and pulled it from his pocket. He didn't recognize the out of state number. "Hello?"
"Hunter? It's Rissi. I called you because I didn't want to tell Becca over a text message. Someone has been asking around about her, and a few times my husband has caught someone lurking around her apartment. With everything going on, I wanted you to know right away."
Chapter Two
For the past few weeks, nothing happened. There were no signs, no warnings, nothing indicating Carrie was still alive. Hell, this may not even have to do with her, but the timing sure seemed strange. Hunter rushed home after Rissi's call to get to Becca. She wasn't going to be happy about this at all. Maybe the best solution was to get out there ASAP and get everything taken care of.
Hunter rushed inside, calling Becca's name. He hoped he didn't sound too panicked. The last thing he wanted was to make her upset prematurely, especially with how she felt lately.
"Bec?" He checked Sienna's room first when he didn't find Becca downstairs. She wasn't there, but noticed she'd made good progress on the mural. His heart skipped a beat at how beautiful this was turning out. He checked their room next, then Becca's art room. Empty. He pulled open the balcony door and stepped out, hoping he'd see her on the glider or maybe out in the yard on the swing.
There she was, resting on the glider. Her eyes were closed and she had a pen and notebook by her side. Hunter quickly made his way over to her. He tried not to look at what she had written, but caught a glimpse anyway.
I can't concentrate. I see her everywhere. I've never been this scared in my life. I've always found myself feeling safe with Hunter, but now I don't. I hate this! I DON'T want to feel like this! I think I'm going crazy. Maybe that was her plan- to make me crazy like her. Hunter still has nightmares, and I have my own. For the first time ever, I'm not sure what will happen with us. Just when I found love with him, our world has changed once again. I'm trying to be strong, but I think everyone will see through the facade soon enough.
At least she'd found a way to get out her feelings.
Hunter forced himself to look away, but the words were like a stab to his heart. He had to remember what Todd and Beverly said. This wasn't his fault.
But Becca didn't even feel safe with him anymore.
He closed his eyes, wishing he could unsee what he'd just read. When he opened them again, he focused on Becca. Gently touching her arm, he caressed it gently. "Angel, I'm home."
She snapped her eyelids open, blinking rapidly. Then she sat up.
"I need to talk to you," he said, moving to sit next to her.
Becca snatched the notebook away. As she closed it, then tucked it beside her, she stared at him. "You read what I wrote, didn't you?" Sadness and regret flashed in her eyes.
Hunter killed the temptation to lie and say no. He went with the truth. "I caught a glimpse of a few lines, but what I need to say has nothing to do with that. I got a call from Rissi. Someone's been asking about you and lurking around your apartment."
Becca gasped and her hand flew to her mouth.
"She called me because she didn't want to tell you that over a text message. I'm thinking maybe we should head down there tomorrow, first thing." Who knows what they'd be able to get done, but they could easily take a few days and do what they could.
She nodded. Her entire body trembled. "Do you think it's her?"
Just what he worried about. Back to Carrie. Then again, the thought had crossed his mind on the way home, too. "I don't know. Would she be stupid enough to go somewhere that obvious? We don't know if she even made it after that jump. It could be someone saw your name all over the news, knowing you're still here and that your apartment isn't being lived in right now. It could be completely random and because of what we're dealing with, we're jumping to conclusions. All I know is the faster we get your apartment taken care of, the better. One less thing to worry about."
Becca's lips formed a thin, straight line. Hunter had a feeling she had so much to express, but she just shook her head. Tears pooled in her eyes, but she didn't break down.
"You didn't change your mind, did you?" Worry slipped in his tone.
"No! I still want this." She grabbed his hands and peered up at him. He saw truth in her eyes, and felt bad for asking. He hated to second guess her.
"Okay, then we'll leave in the morning and see what we can get done. Maybe stay a few days there before coming back before the weekend." Not like he was working right now anyway, since he'd taken an extended leave.
She nodded and turned away, staring out into the yard blankly. Hunter guessed this wasn't easy for her. Another move, having to deal with her apartment and most likely facing her grandparents and Vince. He knew they were hounding her, sending text messages in hopes of convincing her to go back to Vermont. Why? It's not like they cared about what she wanted anyway. Hunter had to learn to stay out of it. They were going to say and do whatever. They always did.
He stared off for a moment himself until he got tired of the silence. He reached for Becca's hand, curling his fingers through hers. Then he positioned his body to face her. "You don't always have to be so strong, you know. If you need to cry, throw something or get angry then you should. Don't seclude yourself."
She removed her hand from his. "Like you did?" Her hands flew to her mouth, eyes wide.
It stung. Damn, that hurt. She was right of course, but it felt like she threw that back in his face. He wasn't used to this version of Becca.
"I'm sorry."
Hunter lowered his gaze. "I'm sorry too. I know I'm telling you to do the opposite of what I did, but it's because I've learned. I regret every year I didn't go back. Every chance I thought about calling you and didn't. So yes, don't be like I was!" His voice grew louder. He needed to calm down. "Don't make my screwed up mistakes," he whispered.
The past few weeks were a repeat of times like this. They snapped at each other, something they never did before and then they'd sit in strained silence as they tried to figure out what to do next.
"I don't want us to argue." Hunter kept his voice calm. "Both of us have been avoiding the inevitable. I think we need to go see someone about all of this."
"I thought you already did." Becca's eyes narrowed.
"Once." Again, the lie slipped easily off his tongue. "I've been worried about you and I guess purposefully neglected to go back. Beverly and Todd pointed that fact out to me today and they're right. I think it's going to get worse for both of us. I want to get past it and move forward. This constant tension between us is rough. I feel the distance. Don't you?"
Becca's eyelashes lowered and she nodded. A sad frown stretched across her face. "I know. I keep pushing away and snapping."
"We both do." Hunter bent to kiss her forehead. "How about we go out for dinner tonight? I think we could both use some time out. I promise it's nothing fancy and we'll still be able to get to sleep early for the drive in the morning. Please?" He hoped she wouldn't decline as she had been time after time again. Ever since the night of the fund raiser, Becca didn't venture out as much. Maybe she was afraid of doing what she did that night, even though she tried hard not to speak of it. She didn't hurt anyone, but it showed just how spooked Becca was of Carrie's unknown whereabouts. He was too, but it had to be worse for her.
Becca hesitated, just as he thought she would, but her answer surprised him. "Okay."
Almost an hour later, after both of them sho
wered and cleaned up, they were in the car en route to dinner. Hunter stole a glance over at Becca, noticing how tight she held her purse with both hands as she stared out the window. Her skin had turned almost a pure white.
The realization of how bad off Becca was hit him in the face. Everything seemed to scare her, but she tried to keep it all in. This wasn't good. Maybe he'd ask Rissi if she'd be able to come back with them for a few days so Becca had a friend here as well. Someone she isn't afraid of.
Hunter focused back on the road, making every attempt to keep that thought out of his mind. He didn't have the right to be so upset about Becca's fear of everyone, especially him, because he'd caused some of that fear. Whether accidental, he'd been a part of it.
How could he help her? Some days, he couldn't even help himself! If something didn't change soon, their relationship would go down the path of disaster with no chance of getting back. It would take plenty of work on both of their parts to get past their fears and anxieties.
He didn't want to lose her.
*****
Why did she agree to this? Becca tried to ignore the fact that Hunter kept watching her. Getting out of the house seemed like a good idea at first, but in actuality, the whole thing made her want to run back in.
I'm being a baby. This is ridiculous.
She was afraid of her own shadow and didn't want the world to know it. One meltdown was enough. No matter how hard she tried, the night she grabbed that poor unsuspecting woman thinking it was Carrie scared the heck out of her. She definitely didn't want any of this getting back to Vermont. If her grandmother heard about it...
No. She wasn't going to think about those things again. It didn't matter what they thought. It shouldn't! Her grandparents always looked at her in a negative light, no matter how she tried. They couldn't threaten her any more, and if they did try, it wouldn't matter. They couldn't do a thing but badger her. If that was the least of her concerns from them, so be it.
A Masterpiece Unraveled (The Masterpiece Trilogy Book 2) Page 2