by Sally Henson
Not.
Sure.
I.
Can.
Resist.
Her.
I find the strength to tilt my lips away from my kryptonite and warn in a low voice, “There are consequences to that type of behavior, Regan Leann Stone.”
Regan’s body is unmoving, all but her heart slamming against me.
My hand slowly glides up her side, into her hair. Her lips brush my skin, triggering my chest to swell. I stop breathing, hoping she doesn’t withdraw her kiss.
“Yo! Yo! Yo!” my phone goes off with Tobi’s text tone.
Neither of us moves for a second. I grunt out my frustration with the interruption.
Regan turns her head so the side of our faces are even with each other’s.
The rise of the muscles in her cheek gives her smile away.
Dang, I want to kiss her. I pull back, and I can tell by her eyes she wants to kiss me. Seconds tick by before I’m able to blink away the fog that’s moving back in.
Her grin becomes a smirk. “Are you going to answer Tobi, or are you going to hold me captive?”
Captive sounds good. Instead of giving in to my hormones, though, I manage to pin both of her arms above her head.
“Hey!” She squirms underneath me.
With one hand, I snatch my phone out of the cubby-hole in the dash, read the text, and push down another growl rumbling in my throat. “We've been summoned.”
I punch in a response with my thumb.
Instead of letting her go, I press my forehead to hers. When I release her wrists, she doesn’t stir. Swimming in her perfume has me wishing Tobi wasn’t leaving tomorrow, because I would ditch her tonight to keep this going with Regan. I want to plead with her to kiss me.
Unfortunately, she doesn’t make a move toward me when I release her arms. So, I slide behind the steering wheel and fasten my seatbelt. The sting of my lips being neglected is real. “Buckle up.”
She pulls herself up and scoots closer to the door.
I ease the truck forward and lock eyes with her. “And stay on your side of the cab, unless you want me to come over there and finish this dance.”
Please, do something to make me stop and pull you close again.
Literally, my whole body aches for her.
43
Regan
That was such a rush—a taste of power, knowing how he reacts to me. And I think I might want to do that dance again.
What if we did kiss, again? A full on real kiss.
What if we tell our parents how we feel?
What if...
Stop. Focus on your future, Regan.
But he’s the best thing in my life.
At the moment. It’s only a moment.
This back and forth in my head goes on and one. By the time we arrive at Tobi's, I feel guilty for my actions and turn down the radio before he shuts the engine off. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that.” I peer over at him seeking forgiveness.
He sees right through me. “You can try to run away from this.” His finger circles between the two of us. “But it's not going to go away. It's taken years to grow into this.”
He's out the door and opening mine as I unbuckle. Holding his outstretched hand, I slide down from the seat and lace our fingers together, like we did walking down the path the night of puteulanu luna.
I’m all warm and fuzzy inside. My future plans are nowhere in sight, my only focus at the moment is Lane. I was in such a rush to get here, but now—now, I could stand here, fingers laced, memorizing the flecks of sky in his beautiful blues and tracing the curve of his lips that once touched mine. I could lean in and press my lips ...
Stop it.
I just told myself this will not lead me anywhere I need to go.
“Let's go.” Somehow, I manage to walk away.
I hope no one saw us—that's all I need. More pictures floating around. Stacey would absolutely ruin everything if she knew anything about Lane and me.
44
Regan
With a rap on the door, Tobi answers, a weird look on her face. “Hey, you're finally here.” Her eyes move past me as Lane walks up and her expression changes to a big grin with knowing eyes. “Lane, you look—sprightly tonight.”
“Sprightly? What’ve you been reading?” I make fun, but her eyes never leave Lane as she steps back to let us in.
“What took you two so long?”
I don’t answer.
Lane doesn’t answer.
She shuts the door and looks back and forth between us. She told me Lane likes me more than a friend, and she hasn't said a word about it since. I’m guessing she's contemplating whether to do so now. Thankfully, she drops the inquisition before it gets verbal. I have a feeling it’ll resurface at another time and place.
Tobi motions toward the kitchen. “The Cattle Barron wants to see you before we take off.”
“Come in here, kids,” Mr. Bridlow bellows from the breakfast table. He stands as we enter.
Lane steps closer and shakes his hand. “Mr. Bridlow.”
He grabs Lane's hand and places his left hand on Lane's shoulder, squeezing to demand Lane’s full attention. “Lane, I'm glad to see you before you head off to school. You're a good and kind young man. Don't let those goofy professors turn you into some tree huggin', gun bannin', atheist pantywaist.” He slaps Lane on the back, like an exclamation mark. Mr. Bridlow has a way with words. There's usually some comedic relief in them, whether he means for there to be or not. Except when he's mad. Trust me, that is not pleasant. “Regan, get over here and give me a hug.”
I smile and make a beeline; he always hugs me when he sees me. He may be loud, but he's kind and generous and loves people—more so than I do, I must admit.
“Hi, Jim, how are you?” He insists I call him Jim, not Mr. Bridlow.
“Fat and sassy.” He's a big burly kind of a guy, super strong from working on his farm. He starts to go on about the state fair and how Tobi's going to win Grand Champion.
Jim can talk for-ev-er. “Dad, it's getting late. I'm going to be spending all week with you and I won't see these two that whole time. We're going out.” She kisses him on the cheek.
“All right, then. You three have fun.” He lets out a deep thunderous laugh.
“Don't do anything I wouldn't do.”
Tobi slams the door and takes off running for the garage. Lane jogs after her, and I trot behind them. They come out with two duffel bags. They're both big, but one's huge.
Lane's reluctance to explain what's happening at sundown pops into my mind. “What's all this?”
Tobi nods to the truck. “Get in, Regan.”
They put everything in the bed of the truck and rush in the cab, shoving me in the middle.
“You're a little pushy tonight.” I scowl and look back and forth between the two of them. “What's going on?”
Tobi smiles and raises her brows. “It's a surprise.”
Yay, I like to be surprised.
Lane turns toward town.
Tobi leans forward and looks at Lane. “Now?”
He nods but keeps his eyes straight ahead. “Now.”
She looks everywhere but at me.
“What?” I'm growing impatient.
Her gaze connects with mine. “After practice this morning, I went to get Haylee from her mom's classroom.”
“And ...”
“And, she wasn't in there, so I decided to go to the cafeteria to check for her. She wasn't there either. But the PTO or something was meeting in there.” Tobi frowns and fidgets. She looks down again.
“So ...” I shrug my shoulders, my brow still raised waiting.
“So, they were talking about you.”
The air deflates from my lungs. “Me?”
My heart sinks to the pit of my stomach. You'd think I'd be used to this by now, but it's still frustrating. Gossip—the intentional mental and emotional destruction of another through words. I know the definition forward and
backward. It hurts to know others are gossiping about me. Especially adults. Especially when I go out of my way to keep from speaking or listening to gossip. And this is how I get repaid.
“You know Wednesday night at youth group we all said what we thought our future looked like?”
I close my eyes and rest my head on the back of the seat. I know what comes next. “Yeah ...”
“They pretty much called you a dreamer and said you better get your head out of the clouds or you'll end up a nothing, like your parents.”
I drop my head. My ribs squeeze making every rise and fall of my chest painful. “Like my parents, huh?” Not just me this time but my parents, too.
Tobi leans her head on my shoulder. “I'm sorry, Regan, but I know you’d want me to tell you, so ...”
“No, I do. It's just—why can't these people mind their own business?” I sit up. The corners of my mouth draw down. “They sit around and gossip about my plans for my life when they should be worrying about their own kids out boozin' it up and doing drugs. What kind of future do they have in store for them? The kids probably turn to alcohol and drugs to numb the pain from their parents' killing their dreams.” I detest this stupid town.
I press my palms to my temples to keep my head from exploding. “So, once they've killed their kids' dreams, it's time to move on to someone else, to me.” Those no-good, lousy so-called concerned parents of other children! The tightness gets worse.
“One more tidbit. Stacey's mom was in the middle of it, along with Mrs. Bates.”
I look straight ahead and feel the knives stab through my back. “What a surprise.”
Lane reaches over to touch me, but I erupt. “Don't.” It comes out cold, steely, mean.
“Really, Regan, it's—”
I cut Tobi off. “I don’t want to hear any more.”
“It's just the Fani—”
“I don't want to hear it.” After a couple minutes of silence, I make a choice. “I think it would be best if you took me home or dropped me off at the diner and I'll have Mom come pick me up.”
Neither of them says anything. Just up the hill, Lane makes a sharp turn toward Lake Nellie. He continues to follow the road around the back to the picnic parking lot, neither of them saying a word.
“This isn't the way to my house or the diner.” My voice is void of emotion, but my body hurts. Every limb and appendage feel so heavy I can't even lift them.
The truck rolls to a stop. Lane puts it in park. I sit, unmoving, mute. Maybe I am nothing but a dreamer. Maybe the only science I'll have in my life is the moon and stars. It's finally getting dark out and the moon set earlier today in the afternoon. I wonder if that could be enough. I drop my head and look at the darkness surrounding my hands in my lap. How long are they going to sit here?
“Tobi, would you excuse us for a few minutes?” Lane's voice is calm as he turns to look at her.
“No. I don't think I will.” She turns on me, eyes flickering with anger. “You listen to me, Regan.” She’s using her “I mean business” voice. “We have a great night planned, including revenge of sorts for the Faniger clones. I'm going to be gone for a week, and Lane's leaving in two. We're spending tonight together.” She grabs me by the shoulders, forcing me to look at her. “You're going to suck it up and have a good time. You’re not going to let these people break your spirit or ruin our night. Do you understand me?”
“Well said, Tobi.” Lane turns the key to the ignition.
45
Regan
We're back on the main road. I have no idea where we're going. Tobi's probably right. And I don't want to ruin their night by my sulking. If I go home, I’ll have to explain the gossip. Dad wouldn't agree with their gossip, but the substance of me having my head in the clouds might garner his support.
“Expound upon this ‘revenge’.” I try to sound refreshed or like something other than a tantrum-throwing toddler or a “my life is over” drama-queen. I don’t think it works.
Lane makes a right on Old Golf Course Road. I never come out here, so I'm not sure of our destination, but I think it may have something to do with Stacey.
Tobi sings, “You're going to love this one, won't she, Lane?”
He doesn't say anything, not that she's expecting a reply.
“Those duffel bags are loaded with toilet paper. And I happen to know that the Fanigers go out every Friday night.”
Lane pulls into a hidden field road. It's heavily overgrown with weeds and grass. The tree limbs scrape the top and sides of Lane’s truck when we pull through, so the truck's basically hidden from the road.
Tobi's giddy with anticipation. “Her house is just up the road.”
This might be an excellent idea. No real damage, only toilet paper that will eventually disintegrate. We can make Stacey's life a little miserable with a yard full of bathroom tissue.
The tightness around my ribs release and the stabbing pain is gone. “This is an excellent alternative—I approve.”
All three of us get out of the truck quietly, speaking in whispers. Tobi goes to find a place to pee before we sneak in. I take the opportunity to apologize, again, to Lane.
Though it's dark, I can tell he's leaning against the rear fender on the driver side facing away. He's giving Tobi as much privacy as possible. “Lane,” I whisper and amble to him. “Look, I was a real jerk earlier.”
“Yeah, you were a jerk.”
“I know you were just trying to be there for me, but ... I'm going crazy with all the push back. The pressure is—getting worse.” I close my eyes and take in a deep breath. “I took it out on you.” I lean against the truck beside him, my arm against the heat of his arm. “I'm sorry.”
“That's twice in one day.” He turns toward me and rests his arm on the bed rail. It's too dark to make out his face. Leaning close to my ear he uses the same voice I tried to imitate earlier. “How do you plan to make amends?”
Goosebumps spread from the spot his warm breath hit my skin. A shiver shoots down the right side of my body. “Mm, I'm not sure.”
I'm glad he never did this before we were more than friends or whatever we are. I couldn't have handled it.
“I have a suggestion. If you can't come up with something suitable.”
I cross my arms in front of me and frown. “All right, all—”
Lane covers my mouth with his hand. “Shh! Do you want Tobi to hear us?”
I shake my head.
He keeps his hand there. “What's your penance?”
I shrug my shoulders. I'm half mad at him for covering my mouth with his hand and half elated he's this close to me.
We hear the rustling of someone walking in the weeds.
He whispers low, tickling my senses. “Since you can't seem to decide, I'll decide for you.” He lets go and reaches for the huge duffel bag full of toilet paper. “Come on.”
Lane starts to jog down the road with the strap of the duffel bag across his body. Tobi and I follow with the other bag giggling all the way.
I observe the size of that thing on Lane's back, with the light of Tobi's flashlight spraying on it. “You could fit a corpse in that bag.”
She snickers. “I know, right?”
Once the deed is thoroughly complete, Lane drives straight north as quickly as possible, avoiding town. We're still laughing.
The light from the dash is bright enough to see Lane’s beautiful smile. My entire body sighs.
Lane gloats over how much mummy vomit was displayed. “It looked like a mummy explosion when we got through with that place. How many roles did you have packed in there, Tobi?”
“A hundred and forty-four! Can you believe we used that many rolls on her house? My adrenaline was pumping the whole time.”
This was a good night after all. She's so much fun, a light for me.
I'm floating on air right now. “We used five around the two bushes blocking the front entrance.”
“She'll have no idea who did it.” Tobi's eyes sparkle from t
he high we're all feeling. “We can't tell anyone. Not even Haylee or Cameron, or it might get leaked.”
I couldn't agree more. “Deal.”
Lane laughs. “Deal.”
46
Regan
We're close to my house by the time I start paying attention to where we were going. I drop my shoulders and look out the windshield. “Are you taking me home?” We still have a couple hours before curfew is up.
“No, this is our other surprise,” Tobi sings and bounces in her seat.
“Why do you guys get to surprise me? You're the ones getting ready to leave. I should be surprising you.”
“I'm just leaving for a week. The TP'n was a last-minute decision. You'll never guess what we're doing now, so don't even try.”
Lane turns into the old stone quarry. “There shouldn't be anyone fishing tonight. I checked the sign of the moon earlier.”
He knows all about fishing and the phases of the moon. Catching fish is a bonus to me. The relaxation of being by the water is what I like the most.
I'm getting anxious and fidgety, wanting to know what's coming next. Lane drives to one of the fishing ponds on the other side of the cliffs and parks. I don't have a clue what we're going to be doing here and I can feel my face scrunching up.
The back side of this pond butts up against a steep hill of earth, huge rocks, and trees. The pond isn’t that big but it's deep like the others. When the rock quarry was still in operation they placed huge rocks along the side of the pond opposite the hill. I guess to keep someone from driving into it. On a dark night like tonight, that could easily be done if you didn't know the terrain.
We get out of the cab. It's cooler tonight, not much humidity. It makes the air seem cleaner, just a tinge of dust from us driving and stirring it up in the air. The sounds of summer nights play—crickets, tree frogs, bullfrogs accompanied by the oil pump jack playing percussion, with a winding noise and then a squeak. They keep perfect time.