by Lou Cameron
‘How do you know?’
‘Would he still be alive at this late date if his fortune-hunting wife had control of them?’
‘Mais of course. If he were to meet with some tragic accident while his granddaughter was still alive, there would be two heirs left to divide his fortune, non?’
‘Ouch. I forgot Teresa has money of her own that would go to her grandfather’s estate if she died ahead of him. I wish you hadn’t reminded me of that. It means we can’t trust anyone on her side but old Eton Alberto himself!’
Gaston shrugged and replied, ‘Assuming we can trust him, you mean?’
‘Are you nuts? Why would he want to murder his own granddaughter?’
‘You just said she has a fortune that would go to him in the event of her death. Loving fathers have been known to rape daughters, even when they were poor. Add it up, Dick. Who would be in a better position to manage this whole mad business than the head of the entire clan?’
Captain Gringo snorted in disgust and said, ‘Yeah, you’re nuts. Have you forgotten all that bullshit with the mixed-up ransom drops? Who ever heard of a guy staging a kidnapping and then paying the ransom himself?’
‘Me. I could not help noticing that in the end the so-called ransom wound up back in the old man’s hands. Was it the result of a très incredible mix-up on the part of real kidnappers, or was it a ploy to get you and me to sell his story to the police?’
‘Come on, Gaston, you and me are outlaws!’
‘True, but not in Costa Rica, and I see that until just this minute you have been swallowing the whole story horn hide and tail, non?’
Captain Gringo trudged on a time in silence, trying to see a flaw in Gaston’s cynical reasoning. He gave up at last and admitted, ‘Okay, we just don’t know. Where does that leave us?’
‘In a pickled state. May I suggest that we now put the horse before the cart and begin by hauling our adorable asses out of this pickle?’
It wasn’t going to be easy. Unlike some other self-styled warlords, El Generale took his trade seriously. He ordered one short trail break before noon and another in mid-afternoon. They didn’t stop for lunch or the sacred siesta that even regular armies took in Latin America. Taking advantage of the jungle shade, he simply marched their butts off until sunset, and even Captain Gringo was too tired by then to feel like running and skipping. He had to admire Verdugo’s professionalism. Maybe the guy had been Regular Army at one time.
As the adelitas prepared supper and/or erected shelter for the night, Captain Gringo found El Generale holding state by his own private fire. Verdugo smiled up at him. A heavyset bozo wearing an officer’s cap and a lot of bullets didn’t. Captain Gringo had no idea why natural bully boys always seemed to rate the ass-kissing and peon-kicking jobs. But he was not surprised when the segundo of this band growled, ‘For why are you reporting to El Generale? Did I give you orders to report to El Generale, Yanqui?’
The older and more pleasant guerrilla leader silenced the bully and asked the same question in a milder way. So Captain Gringo said, ‘I have your machine gun under cover near my hut, if that’s all right with you, sir.’
Verdugo nodded and said, ‘Bueno. Just be ready for to fire it when, and at whom, I tell you to. Would you care for some coffee, Captain Gringo? Pour the man some coffee, Robles.’
The segundo’s name was Robles. So it came as no great surprise when he reached for the pot but growled, ‘I did not know this pretty boy was entitled to mess with officers. I thought the machine gun section was led by a mere corporal, no?’
Verdugo shrugged and said, ‘I have not made up my mind what to call Captain Gringo yet. He is not even a private until I say so. But I suppose we had better give him some sort of rank. What rank do you suggest, Captain Gringo?’
The tall blond American hunkered down to accept the tin coffee cup with a nod of thanks that was ignored. He took a sip. It was okay. He said, ‘That’s not for me to say, Generale. You’re the one in command here.’
Verdugo liked that. He said, ‘Es verdad. I see you understand military courtesy. Let me see ... it seems odd to call a person called Captain Gringo a corporal. I think I shall make you a captain. That should avoid confusion, eh?’
Captain Gringo didn’t argue. But Robles protested, ‘That is not just, my Generale! This Yanqui has no seniority in this command! How do we know he knows how to fight at all?’
Verdugo looked at Captain Gringo and asked, ‘Do you know how to fight, Captain?’
‘Perhaps. Who does my commanding officer want me to fight?’
Verdugo took a sip from his own cup before he said, ‘¿Quien sabe? Do you wish for to fight Captain Gringo, Major Robles?’
The segundo looked startled and gasped, ‘Me, fight this Yanqui for you, Generale?’
‘I did not order you to fight him for me, Major. I simply asked if you wished for to fight him. If you do not, shut up. You still outrank him, so you have nothing to be jealous about. I will not have my officers bickering among themselves like chickens. I have enough trouble with that among the women in this camp, understand?’
Robles gulped and said, ‘I meant no offense. I was only teasing a new boy in the gang. He knows I was just teasing, eh?’
Verdugo stared thoughtfully at Captain Gringo, that faint smile still in place. Then he asked, ‘Do you accept the major’s apology?’
Captain Gringo nodded and replied, ‘No apology called for, sir. I got used to worse hazing at West Point long ago. I don’t go looking for fights.’
Verdugo, still smiling with no real warmth, said, ‘That is the point I am trying to make here. We live in a world and we follow a trade where trouble comes to a man without his looking for it. We are making good time. The lowland jungle is not as wet as I feared it might be. In another day or so we shall be in the higher ranching country. There will be less cover. Do you know for how to stop cavalry with your machine gun, Captain Gringo?’
The American washed down the green taste in his mouth with more coffee before he said, ‘You aim low at the horses. May I ask why we’re marching into the Costa Rican rangelands, sir?’
‘We need horses. They do not grow horses down here in the banana country. I intend to commandeer some horses in the name of Nicaragua. Some Costa Rican rancheros may not understand that I have every right to do this. So they may call in their cavalry, and you will know how to stop them, eh?’
‘Within reason, Generale. Modem automatic weapons sure have muzzle loaders whipped, but they’re not magic wands, and we only have one Maxim to work with. I can aim it north, south, east, or west. I can’t stop cavalry charges coming at us every way at once and, no offense, the Costa Rican Cav is pretty good.’
‘I heard about you fighting on their side a time or two. The fortunes of war, eh? I am glad you respect their ability. Officers who underestimate people are no good to me. Let me worry about the tactics and I’ll let you worry about mowing down such targets as I choose for you. I am not a foolish leader. I do not lead my people into situations I cannot lead them out of. Was there anything else you wished for to speak with me about, Captain Gringo?’
The American downed the last of the cup, placed it by the fire, and stood up to salute and turn away. Verdugo returned his salute, and as he moved off, Captain Gringo heard him mutter warningly, ‘No, Robles. Stay here. The grown men in this camp have agreed that it is over. Stubborn children do not get to grow up among real men!’
Captain Gringo was out of earshot as Robles answered in a whiny voice that did remind him of a mean little kid. It was a shame that while all bullies were just rotten kids at heart, some of them could really fight. He’d have to study some on Robles. Having the disadvantage of a brain, he knew how complicated camp feuds could get.
He went to Emesta’s hut first, of course. So after he bawled her out for starting up with Teresa on the trail, he naturally had to make her stop crying with a soothing orgasm. But he still had to chew Teresa out. So he put his duds back on and told Emes
ta it was the other girl’s turn at his bat. She thought he meant it and began to cry some more. He decided it might be good for her. She deserved some punishment, and even a brutal screwing didn’t seem to chastise her worth mention.
He found Teresa finishing a tin plate of beans in the doorway of the other hut. She said, ‘This food is terrible.’ So he said, ‘That’s one of the other things we’d better talk about. Inside.’
As they reclined together on the bedroll he repeated his earlier warnings about behaving like a brat or, worse yet, a snob. He said, ‘The feeling’s mutual, kid. These people have never had anything to feel snooty about. So they’re sullen, suspicious, and jealous as hell of people like you.’
‘That’s what I keep trying to tell you, Dick. How can you expect me to get along with my social inferiors?’
‘You’re going to have to learn. Fast. I’m not talking about hair-pulling contests because I’m worried about your hair. We’re never going to get you out of here unless nobody’s interested in you as you go off to take a squat or something, see?’
‘Do you have to be so vulgar?’
‘Sorry. I forgot Castilians never shit. These people do, and they resent people who think their shit don’t stink. We’ve got you toned down in that peon outfit, and you’re starting to smell a lot poorer. So keep up the good work. Pitch in and for Chrissake help the other women with the camp chores. Stop sitting around like a queen expecting to be served. If these peon girls had wanted to be servants, they’d never have run off with guerrillas, see?’
‘I don’t know how to fetch and carry. Nobody ever taught me. I have not refused for to help, Dick. Nobody has asked me.’
He tossed his hat aside and said, ‘Nobody asks the adelita of an important soldado to do anything. She’s supposed to know. Some don’t. Peons raise lazy daughters too. So if you don’t volunteer, they’ll just think you’re pulling my rank on them, and nobody likes that. By the way, I just made captain. Do I get a kiss?’
He’d been kidding. So he was surprised but not upset when Teresa rolled half atop him to kiss him warmly on the mouth. Then she had to spoil it by rolling back, blushing becomingly, to ask, ‘What does that mean, Dick? I thought you were already a captain, no?’
‘Captain Gringo’s just a nickname. How I got it is too long a story. With real quasi-rank in this outfit I can pull the same on most of the soldados. I’ve got a couple left I have to watch my step around, aside from his nibs, of course. But, yeah, things are looking up. By morning everyone will know you’re the adelita prima of a no-bull big shot. So it’s your chance to work on the other adelitas. I want you to be nice to them, above and beyond the call of duty. There’s nothing we can do about you being whiter than most of them, and they’ll still be jealous of your looks. But an officer’s mujer who acts like one of the girls can’t be all bad. I’d get rid of those zapatas too. They’re no good to you, and a few days barefoot will do wonders for your soles and maybe make you seem more democratic.’
‘What a droll suggestion. Our people are not ready for democracy, Dick.’
‘Don’t tell them. They don’t know that. What did you think all these revolutions were about, a lack of interesting reading material?’
‘My God, you sound like a Marxist, Dick!’
‘I’m just a survivor. The guys and gals outside haven’t advanced to Marxism yet. They just know they want, ain’t got, and don’t like it. El Generale doesn’t want to redistribute wealth. He wants it all, and the four of us have to be someplace else before the maniac runs into real soldados. Your Costa Rican guys are good. I ought to know. I trained some of them myself.’
She wasn’t listening to that last part. Propping herself up on one elbow, Teresa frowned down at him and demanded, ‘Four? How do you, Gaston, and myself add up to four?’ He said, ‘We’re going to have to take Emesta along. She’ll be more useful to us on the trail than here in camp, wailing like a banshee maybe five minutes after we leave.’
‘I see!’ said Teresa, grim-lipped, adding, ‘I thought she was only trying to cause trouble when she boasted of you making love to her. Oh, Dick, how could you even consider making love to a common peon girl like that?’
‘What’s to consider? Don’t let this get around, but you high-class dames ain’t built much different. I told you our only hope was to get on friendly terms with this band, remember?’
‘Oh, my God, you are an animal! Tell me you have not gone all the way with her, at least!’
‘What do you care? Are we engaged or something? I don’t talk about my lovers behind their backs. So never mind how far I might or might not have gone with El Generale, if it means getting out of here! By the way, if you ... never mind. Dumb idea.’
‘I’d kill myself before I’d let that unwashed beast touch me!’ She sobbed. He was getting tired of her sobbing. He imagined that her suicide threats included him. So he reached for his hat.
She gasped. ‘Where do you think you are going?’
And he told her, ‘Back to make friends with the natives, of course. I just wanted to warn you to behave a little ... make that a lot, better.’
He didn’t make it out just then. Teresa grabbed his sleeve and snapped, ‘I won’t have it! What has that peon girl got that I don’t have, Dick?’
He chuckled and replied, ‘Probably nothing. I haven’t looked. I thought that was the way you wanted it, princess.’
‘I did, I do, I mean, good heavens, is it simply a choice between letting that mestiza have you or rutting with you like a common woman?’
‘Not anymore. Emesta would get pissed as hell if I turned up your nose at her now. This is getting dumb, Teresa. What harm can it do you if I go on pretending you’re both my mistresses as long as you don’t have to join in?’
‘It’s humiliating, that’s what it is! I thought I was supposed to be your adelita prima!’
He laughed and slipped off his jacket to re-join her on the bedroll, saying, ‘Well, hell, if you wanted to get laid, why didn’t you say so?’
He kissed her. She kissed back, better this time. But as he cupped a breast in his palm she stiffened and twisted her face from his, protesting, ‘Wait! I didn’t mean it that way. I meant ... Oh, Dick, I am so confused, I do not know what I mean!’
‘You want me to do the thinking for us?’
‘You had better. I am not making sense right now, even to me!’
He said, ‘Okay, let’s take it easy, making all the stops along the way, and I’ll stop anytime you say so. It’s not as if I’m as desperate as some of the guys you may have learned to wrestle with, you know.’
‘You bastard! Are you saying that the moment I say no, you’ll just go fuck that other cunt?’
‘Crudely put but accurate. Did anyone ever tell you you have great tits? What’s this, an inverted nipple?’
‘Only on that side, and not when I am aroused.’
‘Yeah, you’re right. This other one feels normal. Sort of aroused too. What have we got down here?’
‘Oh, wait! I think I am about to faint and, no, no, stop that, you wicked thing!’
So he stopped with his fingertips in her pubic hair and let his palm rest against her smooth, bare belly as he soothed, ‘Okay. I can take a hint.’
She sobbed and moved her thighs farther apart as she said, ‘I wish you would move your hand one damned way or another, damn you!’
He considered just hauling it out from under her skirt. But he knew he’d never forgive himself, even if she did, so he moved it deeper into her lap and kissed her as he parted her love lips with his fingers and began to massage her to full arousal. She was built different from Emesta down there, bless them both, and from the way she began to move her hips, she seemed to enjoy novelty as well.
He knew she’d start talking dumb the moment he stopped kissing her to get undressed. So he didn’t try. It was awkward enough just getting his love tool out and rolling atop her, fully dressed. For a moment he stopped playing with her, and she sobbed into his op
en mouth. Her muffled words might have been a last protest. But as he entered her she gasped, dug her nails through the linen of his jacket, and began to move in time with him like a real pal.
Thanks to his earlier rutting with Emesta he was able to hold back longer than most men would have in such nice new surroundings. It was a good thing he could. Like most mixed-up ladies, Teresa took her own good time to climax the first time. Her passion faded on and off as he moved in and out of her. She sighed and said, ‘I am sorry, I am trying for to respond to you, but ... oh, my God, I am! I am! Faster! Faster! I do believe I ammmmmm!’
He didn’t. He was no fool. As she lay in limp submission, moaning about how strange she felt, he undressed both of them to do it right. It felt like a whole new ball game, only better, as he crushed her pale naked body under his to repeat what seemed to be a command performance, from the way she was moving and the dumb things she was saying as he brought her to climax a second time. This time he joined her. She felt him ejaculating in her and sighed, ‘Now you are mine! I knew you had not gone all the way with Emesta!’
‘You did? How come?’
‘You just came in me, no? Everyone knows a man is through for the night once he comes in a woman, you fool.’
‘Oh, right, I forgot you’d been married. That sure felt swell, Teresa.’
She sighed and said, ‘I know. I was there.’ Then she closed her eyes and added, ‘I am so sleepy, querido. It still feels marvelous. But, well, aren’t you going to take it out?’ He’d had no such intention, of course. But a man has to grab for the ring when the merry-go-round gives him the chance. So he rolled off her reluctantly, and sure enough, she rolled over and went right to sleep. He muttered, ‘You women are all alike once you’ve had your own cruel lusts taken care of.’ Then he wiped himself more or less clean with a corner of the sheet and got dressed some more to see if Emesta still loved him.