by L. Michael
“Th-That’s Ian. He’s an a-a friend.”
“Caden Evans. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” I held out my hand, and Ian shook it with a firm grasp.
“Ian. Nice to meet you, too.” Then he turned to Henry and grinned. “So, you finally got yourself a man, huh?”
Henry blushed a lovely shade of pink but nodded. “Yes. I think I did.”
“I’m his boyfriend,” I said after I made sure that Henry could see what I was saying. He blushed even more but smiled at me.
Then his gaze flew over to Ian right in time to see him say, “I’m happy for you, Henry. And I’m sorry to disturb you on Saturday morning, but I need to talk to you.”
I could feel Henry tense and reached out to gently squeeze his shoulder. His eyes flew immediately to me, and I tried to smile reassuringly at him.
“Why don’t you sit down with Ian, and I’ll bring you some hot chocolate and coffee for your friend. Then you can talk, and I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me. Okay?”
“Okay.”
Henry leaned into me for a second. Then he squared his shoulders and took a deep breath. That was a good sign, and I turned to leave, but not without looking at Ian again. He gave me a sharp nod of appreciation, and then he followed Henry into the apartment.
For a moment, I just stood there and watched them. Something was wrong. Henry was secretive about a few things. Like not telling me Ian’s last name and the fact he was a cop. They both sat down on the sofa, and I went into the kitchen. Grabbing two cups, I filled one with coffee and made a hot chocolate for Henry.
Was it a mistake to keep it a secret about what Sam found? What if…
“Why are you here?”
Henry's voice rang out in the open space. He couldn’t find the right volume when he was emotional. He either spoke too loud or too quiet. And if he was speaking, that meant that Ian couldn’t sign. As far as I knew, Henry only spoke with me and people who couldn’t sign. I couldn’t hear Ian’s answer, but I could hear Henry’s response.
“Nooo.”
I whirled around and looked at my Boy. Henry had paled, and his eyes were as big as saucers.
“I’m sorry, Henry, but we need to talk about this.”
“I don’t want to talk about it!” Henry all but screamed, and the cop sighed.
I took a step in their direction but stopped when Ian continued, “Henry, I know that you don’t want to talk about it, but we have to. Your brother’s parole hearing is next week, and there is the possibility that he will walk.”
“They can’t. They can’t let him go.”
“I understand that, and I’ll try my best to convince the board to deny him the parole. But there’s only so much I can do without revealing that you’re still alive.”
“So, he’s going to go free?”
Ian sighed and shook his head. “I’m sorry, Henry. But that is a possibility, yes.”
I swallowed hard and just stared at my Boy, who was devastated and shaken up. His brother. A parole hearing. The possibility that his brother was going to get out of prison. What that must mean for Henry, I could only imagine. The man who’d almost killed him was going to be walking the streets.
Henry must have caught movement out of the corner of his eye because his head whirled around. For a second, he just stared at me. Then he made a gagging noise, jumped up, and fled into the bathroom.
Oh no.
“I’ll go,” I said when Ian got up to follow him. Henry was my Boy, and it was my job to take care of him.
He was in the bathroom, huddled over the toilet, where he got rid of his breakfast—poor Baby. I rushed over to the sink and wet a towel, while Henry retched. Carefully, so I didn’t spook him, I knelt behind him and gently rubbed the cold cloth over his forehead. As soon as I touched him, Henry flinched away from me.
“N-No. You need to go.”
As if I would leave my Boy alone now. To make my point clear, I sat down and gently pulled him onto my lap. Henry held onto the toilet and hurled a few more times, but then he sat back and leaned against me and sobbed. He was leaning up against me, and I didn’t want to disturb his tummy, so I signed, “I won’t leave you, Henry. I’m not going anywhere.”
“You don’t understand. You can’t hear any of this. You can’t…You’re going to hate me.” He sobbed into my chest.
Taking a deep breath, I gently stroked his cheek and kissed his nose—time to confess. “I could never hate you, Cupcake. You are a sweet, caring, wonderful man. You are nothing like your family.”
“My fam…Wait? You know?”
“Yes. I know.” He looked at my eyes, and then he looked at my lips. “Sam was curious about why you were so frightened, so he did a little digging. Please, don’t be mad at him. He meant well and wasn’t spying on you. He just wanted to know if there is a way he could help you. I’m sorry, I didn’t tell you. I wanted to wait until you’re ready to tell me on your own.”
“You know.”
“Yes, Baby. But it doesn’t change a thing. I’m still your Daddy, and I’m staying right here with you.” Proving my point, I gently cupped his cheeks and gently kissed him. He tensed up as he realized what I said.
Chapter 13
Henry
Why was breathing so hard? Oh yeah, right, because Caden knew. He knew who I was and where I came from. I pulled my head back, closed my eyes, and tried to breathe. Maybe it would be better if I just stopped breathing. They knew. They all knew, and now they would hate me. But Caden was still holding me, gently rubbing my back.
I’m still your Daddy.
How could he still want to be my Daddy? If he knew…Swallowing hard, I opened my eyes and looked at Caden.
“What…how much do you know?”
“I know most of it. I know that your name was Michael Altmann. I know that you grew up on some sort of compound. I know…” Caden took a deep breath. “I know what your brother did to you, and I know that the FBI faked your death.”
Oh, no. No, I shook my head. They promised me that no one would ever know. Only then would I be safe. If Sam found out…God, what if my family had found out I was still alive? What if that was the reason why my brother had this parole hearing? If he knew that I was still alive…I knew what would happen if they ever found out that I was still alive. They would finish what Robert had started all those years ago.
“I just wanted to get away from them. But I never will.” I sobbed.
Caden held me close and rocked me while he rubbed my back in a soothing pattern while I cried. Twelve years. I’d been safe for twelve years, and now, when everything was perfect, my family was trying to get back in my life—something I had never wanted to happen. Now, after all this time
Caden must have realized that my crying had quieted down because he gently nudged my chin up. “You survived, and you got away, Henry. Nobody knows that you’re still alive. And we’ll do everything to keep it that way. You don’t have to go back there. Ever.”
“I’m not scared of going back there, and I’m not scared of what they will do when they find me.” The moment I tried to run away, I signed my death warrant. No one ran away from the family, ever.
“Henry…”
“No. You don’t understand.” Caden flinched, and I knew that I was shouting.
But right now, I didn’t care. Robert could walk, and that was fine for me. In the back of my mind, I knew this day might come. But now I had a Daddy and friends. What would happen to them if the family found out I was still alive. It terrified me to think of what my family would do to those who helped me.
“I’m a traitor to them. Being gay is bad enough. But to betray the family and their cause? They’re going to kill me, Caden. Then they’ll kill everyone who helped me and everyone I love.”
Whatever Caden was going to say, he swallowed down and closed his eyes for a moment. Then he opened them again and looked at me. “Sam told me that they are…some sort of white supremacy cult?”
“That’s a nice fluffy way
of saying that they’re Nazis.” I rubbed my eyes and leaned my face against his shoulder. For what I was going to say, I didn’t need to look at Caden. I didn’t want to see the pity or, worse, disgust on his face. “My great-grandfather was a Nazi sympathizer. He was an American soldier, but the truth was he was working for the Germans. When the war was over, a high-ranking German officer needed to get out of Germany. My great-grandfather smuggled the officer to America. They started the commune, so he had a place to hide.”
To my surprise, Caden gently nudged me to look at him. But there was neither pity nor disgust in his eyes. Only interest and something…sympathy? “That’s where you grew up, right?”
I shrugged. “It started as a place for them to hide, but then they figured that the land would be perfect for building some…community where they could keep the Nazi ideologies alive. My great-grandfather gave his eldest daughter, who was my grandmother, to the German officer, so they could start building the perfect race. That’s how it all started, and that is why they never let anyone go. They have their own rules and laws they live by, Caden. Based on some sick ideology. Have you ever heard of what the Germans did to traitors?”
Caden paled but nodded.
“That’s what they’re going to do to me when they find me. I knew that would happen. But now, they’ll go after everyone I love or care about.” Tears fell down my face. “That’s what they taught us. They taught us about what punishments would be for crimes against them.” I closed my eyes and remembered the lecture about gays. It was the moment when I realized that I had to run away. “The day I figured out that I was gay, I knew that I had to leave. But Robert found out and caught me at the bus station.”
Another gentle tap on my chin. When I looked at him again, I saw tears shimmering in his eyes. “That’s why he wanted to kill you?”
“No. Robert never intended to kill me. He got carried away.” For the first time, I was going to tell someone what happened. The FBI never questioned me. They just assumed that Robert wanted to kill me because I was gay, and I never corrected them. “Yes, the beating started because I’m gay, but he told me that he was going to bring me back so they could punish me for being a traitor. He just…he never got the chance because the FBI saved me. Ian was the agent who initiated it. He made sure that I got to Ava so that I would have a future…but now—”
“Shhh, shhh, Cupcake. I promise you; I won’t let Robert near you. I’ll do everything I can to protect you. You’re safe with me, Henry. Daddy will always keep you safe.”
“I always wanted someone to love me, and then I found out about Daddies and Littles, and I wanted a Daddy.” Rubbing the tears from my cheeks, I just watched Caden for a moment. He tilted his head and smiled when he caught me looking at him. Smiling back, I sighed and reached for his hand. “I hate that this ruined our weekend.”
“Hey, nothing is ruined. We’ll talk with Ian and deal with this, and then it’s just us again.”
“So, you’ll stay?”
“Of course, I’ll stay, Baby. Unless you tell me to leave, I’m not going to walk away from our special weekend.” I sighed and smiled when Caden gave me one of my favorite nose kisses. “Now, let’s get you cleaned up and then we’ll talk with Ian, okay?”
“Okay.”
I still didn’t want to talk about it or think about Robert and what he had done. But my Daddy would be there with me. Caden helped me off the floor. Then he stood behind me at the sink and brushed my teeth. I leaned into his embrace, held onto his arms, and watched him in the mirror until he finished. I spat into the sink and turned to look at him properly.
“Can we cuddle after Ian is gone?”
“As much as you want, Cupcake.” Caden kissed my head. Then he smiled at me and took my hand. “Let’s get this over with and remember, I’m there with you and I will do everything to protect you.”
“I know, Daddy.”
Deep in my heart, I believed him and knew that Caden would always be there for me. He was just so perfect—my perfect unicorn Daddy.
Ian stood up as we entered the living room, a deep frown on his forehead. “Henry, are you okay?”
Was I? No, I wasn’t okay, because Robert still was about to walk free, but I felt better because my Daddy was here with me and he wouldn’t leave me. He proved it by leading me to the sofa and sitting down next to me. Close enough to touch me, but far enough away so I could see him talk. Caden tapped my leg, and I looked at him.
“Let’s talk about the parole hearing. What was Altmann’s sentence? Is this his first parole hearing?”
I looked back at Ian in time to see him blinking a couple of times before he nodded. Then he glanced at me and realized that Ian had no idea what Caden did for a living.
“Oh. Caden is a victim’s rights attorney.”
Ian nodded and explained, “Robert Altmann was charged with first-degree murder but pled guilty to manslaughter and got twenty years.” Ian avoided my eyes when he talked, but I could see him swallowing hard. “It was just a matter of time before he was eligible for parole. He has served more than half of his time.”
Again, Caden tapped my leg to make sure that I got what he was saying. “What are his chances?”
Instead of looking at Ian to see his answer, I focused on Caden. I didn’t want to know the answer. The possibility of Robert getting parole was a nightmare. Watching Ian and Caden talking about it only made it more real. My worries were not for me, because I sealed my fate the day I ran. No, my concern was for all those people who had gotten close to me. I twisted my hands in my lap and looked away from Caden. Needing some comfort, I looked for Charlie. But because of Ian’s visit, I was sure he was hiding somewhere. He wouldn’t come out until it was just Caden and me again. Caden reached out and started to rub my back in soothing circles. This time, he didn’t signal me to watch and see what he said. Instead, he gently pulled me towards him until I leaned into his side. Resting my head on his shoulder, I closed my eyes and tried to forget about Robert and my family.
In the years since the attack, I had worked back to feeling safe in my environment. It was the reason why I lived a hermit’s life with an expensive alarm system. It was a way to take control of my life, but sitting there, I realized something. Robert was still in control. Even now, my family was still controlling my life. It was inevitable that Robert would get out one day. But it always seemed so far away, now…he could be free any day now. He could…I bolted up and blinked when a thought struck me. “Sam.”
Caden startled but turned and looked at me. “What about him?”
“He…he found out. If Sam can do that…”
Caden put a finger to my lips. “Stop, Cupcake. Sam is an IT specialist who worked for the NYPD. Just because he is capable of digging up things like this doesn’t mean that anyone else can.”
Ian must have said something because Caden turned his face a little when he answered him. I leaned forward and was still able to see what he was saying. “Sam is a friend. He was worried about Henry and wanted to find out more about him to see if he could help him somehow. He found out about the faked medical reports and the car accident.”
“But Sam didn’t hack into anything,” I said, and Caden looked back at me. “He didn’t, right?”
“No, Cupcake. He didn’t hack any files. Sam went through a rough time and still has some issues. I think he saw something similar to his pain in you. He just wanted to know if they could help you in any way.”
“That’s…nice?” At least I guessed it was. It sounded like Sam cared. There weren’t many people in my life: just Ava, her fiancée, Owen, sometimes Heath, and now Caden. But apart from that. It was a nice thought that someone wanted to know more about me and wanted to help me. Caden tapped my knee, and I looked up again.
“Ian just said that it’s a good idea that you have people you can talk to, and I agree with him.”
“That should be a pleasant conversation. Hey, I’m a Nazi, please don’t hate me? Oh, and my family wants to kill me
because I’m a traitor, but hey, let’s be friends and hope they don’t find me? And oh, by the way, if you do become my friend, my family will probably want to kill you, too,” I growled.
There was a good reason I never talked about my family or my past. First, I didn’t need a verbal reminder of what had happened. It was with me every day. Not being able to hear, the diapers, the scars. Second…A hand on my chin pulled me out of my thoughts. Caden turned my head to face him, but instead of talking, he signed, “I don’t want you to talk about yourself like that, Henry. You are not a Nazi or a traitor. And I know you are a very kind person.”
“But…”
“Finish that sentence, and I will spank your ass. And it will not be a fun spanking.”
Uh oh. Caden was serious. I dropped my hands, and my mouth fell open.
“No talking badly about yourself, is that clear?”
“Yes, Daddy.”
“Good. And now apologize to Ian for snapping at him.”
I huffed but turned towards Ian, who looked at us with raised eyebrows. “I’m sorry, I snapped at you, Ian.”
“It’s okay. I understand that this situation is not easy.” Ian smiled, and then he leaned forward. “You need more people in your corner, Henry. You can’t deal with this alone.”
“I’m not alone. I have Caden.”
A tap on my leg had me looking at Caden. “You need friends, too. And what about Ava?”
Oh my God. I hadn’t thought about my aunt. “No. No, we can’t tell her. I’m not going to tell her. She’s in Europe, and I don’t want to ruin her holiday.”
“She’s your aunt, Henry. She deserves to know.”
“No. Miles is about to propose to her. If she knows, she’s going to insist on coming back and then Miles can’t propose, and he wanted to do it in Paris and…” Gently, Caden put his finger on my lips, and I stopped talking.