Tension slid through Noah. This didn’t look good, and, waving people away, he began a circuit of his house.
As he entered the kitchen, Noah heard Ivy speaking softly. “I know you both want the red car, but look what I have here. I’ve got a shiny green truck and it has more wheels than the car does. Maybe you can play with the truck…um…Davey, and Lily, you can play with the car and then in ten minutes, we’ll switch. Okay? Then you get to play with both of them. All right?”
Uh-oh. Noah knew what was going to happen.
“No…” Davey squealed. Lily quickly caught on and cried no, too, adding a head shake for good measure.
“Truck,” Lily declared.
“Oh…um, okay, then Lily, you play with the truck first and then Davey can play with the car first. All right?”
More squeals and protests and even some stamping of little feet. These two had Ivy on the run, and it was clear that she was going to make an effort to appease them again.
Noah drew closer and saw that she was looking nervous and anxious. She glanced up at him. “I—”
“You’ve been abandoned by the other adults,” he said over the squeals of the children. “That’s enough, you two. No more screaming or you’re both going to get a time out. Right now.”
The screaming turned into aggravated whimpering, even though both the kids were wearing full-fledged pouts and looking as if the tears and screams were going to let loose any minute.
“You two little boogers are both tired. You should be taking a nap already, and in a few minutes that’s just what’s going to happen. But for now, you’re both going to sit down with me and I’m going to tell you a story. No more trucks and cars today.”
Both kids still looked militant in the cute way only toddlers can manage. They looked as if they wanted to beat him up, but they didn’t know how to achieve their goal. And, with no alternative other than an immediate time out, they reluctantly crawled onto his lap and he began to tell them a story of his first horse, Danger, who could do all kinds of funny tricks. At first they stopped whimpering and frowning. Then they began to laugh, but soon, as his voice droned on, both of them gave up the fight to stay awake. Soon he was sitting with two sleeping toddlers in his arms.
Ivy was looking at him as if he’d just worked some sort of unexplainable magic trick. As if he’d hung a few stars in the sky.
“How did you know just what to do?” she asked.
“I didn’t. Could have backfired completely, but I’ve learned a thing or two just by being with Lily. You’ll learn, too,” he whispered. But they both knew that she wouldn’t. She didn’t want this.
“I’ll go get Davey’s mom. And…thank you. I don’t like to admit that anything gets the best of me, but I was totally lost.” With that, she left.
When everyone was gone a short time later, Noah turned to Ivy. “Quite a gathering. You did well.”
She wrinkled her nose. “You missed a few things while you were gone. I bought cute little cups with cows on them, and there were major spills. I should have known those were the wrong kind. I’ve seen Lily with those little sipper things. The little cows were so cute that I didn’t think.”
He laughed. “The other adults probably thought they were cute, too. You can’t think of everything, Ivy.”
“Like the goat eating someone’s hair ribbon. I didn’t anticipate that.”
“Stuff happens when goats are around.”
“And that tug of war between Lily and Davey… I was ready to start squealing and stamping my feet, too.”
“Been there.”
“Yeah. Like I believe that.”
“Believe it.”
“I would have liked to see you throwing a tantrum.”
“I doubt that very much.”
“I’ll bet you never get mad. I’ve never seen you get real mad…except for maybe when I was trying to get you to hire me.”
“That wasn’t mad. That was frustration. Maybe a little fear.”
“Fear? Not a chance.”
He laughed. “I didn’t want you here. You’re too pretty. I knew I would be attracted. And I didn’t want that.”
“Yes…well…I didn’t want to be attracted, either. And I don’t want to,” she added.
His smile was grim, but he was determined to keep it light. “Tantrum? Feel like stamping your feet?”
“No. Yes!” she said, and laughed. “Seriously, though, thank you for helping me. I’m just…not good with little ones.”
“You can’t give them hard choices at this age. Especially when there are two kids. They’re both really tired and both of them want all the attention and all the toys. They need the security of knowing there’s a big person they can rely on to keep them on course. There’s a certain amount of egocentrism at this age. That doesn’t mean they won’t show concern if you’re hurt. Lily has patted me on the leg, sympathizing when I have a cut and doing her best to make me feel better, but she also often wants what she wants and at that point, at this age, I don’t think she’s capable of empathizing with Davey or he with her.”
When he stopped talking, Ivy was looking at him with that stars-in-the-sky look again. “You do win the best-dad award.”
“Any dad would be the same.”
“No. I don’t think so. I mean…how many men would even think about toddlers not being ready to process and empathize with another child when there are toys to be had?”
He shrugged. “When Pamala left, and it was just me and an infant, I knew I was all that was standing between Lily and…and a lot of bad things,” he said, grimacing. He’d almost said the word death, that he’d been standing between Lily and death. Just an expression, nothing serious, but with Ivy it would be serious.
“You don’t have to handle me with kid gloves or censor your speech,” she said. “I have to learn to deal with distressing words. Otherwise, I can’t function. The truth was that you had to keep Lily safe and alive.”
“Pretty much,” he said, going along with her plan to speak plainly. “So I did some research. Read theories about child development. I tried to use those to help me make better decisions.”
“I’m impressed.”
“You should be impressed with yourself. Look what you did today. You entertained a group of children and adults. People had a good time. And…I want to thank you. Lily was in toddler heaven when the kids came through the door. That was all you. I never would have done this if you hadn’t pushed.”
“You would have done things in your own time. You love Lily too much not to notice how much she likes people. Eventually you would have included kids in that. Especially since you’re so good with them. Did you— This is none of my business, but when you married Pamala, how many children did you plan to have?”
He shook his head. “Didn’t talk about it. She wasn’t into planning, but I always thought I’d have at least a few.”
She nodded slowly. “Maybe you still will. Sandra wants you. Real. Bad.”
“Not real big into Sandra.”
“Why not? She’s not so bad. She’s pretty.”
“I don’t know. I never thought about it much. She’s okay.” But he knew why he didn’t care much for Sandra. Sandra didn’t try to hide her dislike of Ivy.
“Sandra probably didn’t like your cow cups,” he teased. “I’m a cattleman. I liked the cups.”
She laughed. “That didn’t even make sense, and you know it,” she said as she headed for the door.
Yeah, she was right, but then nothing much had made sense since Ivy arrived.
“Do me one favor?” he asked.
“What?” She looked back over her shoulder.
“No more playdates.”
Ivy frowned. “Was it that bad?”
“I told you, it was great. I meant it. But you don’t need to put yourself through this anymore. I get the idea. I’ll take it from here.”
She nodded and went out the door. As he looked through the window and watched her walk away, he thought ab
out how alone she was.
That wasn’t right, and yet he had more or less just cut her loose. What could he do about that?
Not a thing. These playdates were wonderful for Lily, even good for him, but they were also starting to feel far too much like playing house with Ivy. He was beginning to wonder what it would be like if he could keep her with him. In his house, in his life, in his bed every night.
Didn’t he ever learn? If he did any of those things—if she agreed to any of those things—within a year he would be nursing a broken heart, and Lily…Lily would have had yet another woman turning her back on her.
So forget about Ivy, he told himself. But he didn’t. Instead, he relived every touch, every kiss. When he woke up in the morning he was as tired and cranky as Lily had been the day before. And he had no patience. He would most likely do stupid things. And lately all his stupid things had centered around Ivy.
CHAPTER TEN
IVY WOKE UP THE NEXT DAY a bit disoriented. Oh, right, yesterday had been that humbling playdate.
Part of the gathering had gone well, but large swaths of it had been characterized by her figuratively hanging by her fingertips over the edge of a cliff. She’d been kicking her legs, not knowing what to do. The cups, the goat and most of all having to have Noah save her from two tiny children. She should have been able to manage, but she had been scared to death that she would do or say the wrong thing and damage their little psyches forever. Years later they’d both be in therapy and remember this moment that they had blacked out of their memories but which had held them back from having a happy life.
Idiot, she said, Don’t be dramatic. Okay, she was being foolish, but Noah really had saved her. Besides, despite her mistakes, she couldn’t regret the day. Noah had firmly cemented himself as a good guy. He’d obliterated anyone’s questions about his parenting abilities. And then he’d told her he didn’t need her help anymore.
That stung a bit. “But it shouldn’t,” she said to herself. He was the parent. She never would be. He was the one who needed to do all the parenting things.
So they were back to her being just a ranch hand…with maybe an occasional makeover assignment. Simple. No complications. No kisses.
Good. She could handle that. Please let me be able to handle this and put some distance between us, she thought.
So she worked at it. All day.
“You okay?” Noah asked her when he saw her the next day.
“Perfect. Just fine!”` she said, planting the biggest smile she could muster on her face.
Maybe too big a smile. Noah raised a brow. “Ivy…”
“Gotta go,” she said. “Work to do. I don’t want to get Brody mad because I’m loafing. Have you seen your foreman when he gets mad? He can really ride a person’s behind. That’s what you pay us for. To work.”
Noah snorted. “If it were up to Brody, we’d have a gold-star chart and yours would already be filled. That’s how highly he rates your job performance. He thinks that the day starts when you climb up on a ladder and hang the sun in the sky.”
“Brody just likes having an extra hand.”
Noah gave her a look. “Brody likes having a hand who’s a lot easier on the eyes than Darrell or Ed. And he’s not wrong about the gold stars, either.”
But despite the compliment, he didn’t look happy. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
Noah’s concern for her touched Ivy in a way that frightened her. Because she was growing to care for him far too much. She had to maintain some distance and not fall, not care.
She forced a small, tight nod. “I’m fine. Thank you for the compliment about my work. I appreciate it. I really need to go now.”
“I know.”
So she went back to work. She pushed herself, did as many chores as she could in as short a period of time as she could. She got sweaty and dirty and tired, but she didn’t stop.
When Brody signaled that they should go in for lunch, she shook her head. Noah would be there with Darrell. She didn’t want to have to make small talk when her emotions were so turbulent.
“I’m going to go spend some time with Bruiser. He let me put a halter on him the other day.”
“You be careful with that big boy. I don’t have to tell you how much he could hurt you. One of the dangers of ranching.”
Like Noah, she thought.
But Brody’s words about ranching’s dangers ran screaming through her head just a short time later when she heard Brody shouting, followed by Darrell yelling, “Oh, my God, Noah! Are you all right? No, of course you’re not all right. I tipped an ATV half on top of you!”
Ivy’s heart went into free fall. Her throat blocked up. She vaulted over the fence and started running full tilt toward the area where the men’s voices were coming from.
She couldn’t think. Her heartbeat drummed loudly in her ears. When she finally made it to where the men were, Darrell and Brody were both huddled around Noah, who was on the ground. Nearby an ATV was on its side, half in and half out of a ditch.
“Let me see,” she said, dropping to her knees beside Noah. He was sitting on the ground, his head down, but when she came up beside him, he looked at her.
“It’s nothing. I’m just catching my breath.”
“Yes. That’s why you’re gritting your teeth. And…you’re bleeding! Darn it, Noah, don’t tell me it’s nothing when blood is running down your arm.” She started to whip out her phone.
“Done that already,” Darrell said.
“Is it just his arm?”
“He might have hit his head a little when I knocked him over. I was doing what anyone knows not to do—looking off to the side when another person is near.”
“I’m a little concerned about his ribs,” Brody added.
“And maybe his leg,” Darrell said. “And…”
“I’m right here,” Noah said. “You can ask me how I am.”
Ivy stared at him. “As if you’d actually tell us the truth. Your leg—” She reached out to touch his thigh.
“Don’t even think about it.”
“Does it hurt?”
He gave Brody and Darrell a look that told them to get lost. To Ivy’s consternation they did just that.
“You can’t just leave an injured man!” she yelled at them.
“Just going to get the truck so we can get him to the house,” Brody said.
“Okay. Now about your leg—” she began again.
“It doesn’t hurt, but if you start running your hand up my thigh, I’m going to embarrass both of us.”
She frowned and shook her head.
“Let me make myself clearer, Ivy. I’ve got a cut arm, and I’m bleeding, but the rest of my body, though shaken up a bit, is functioning perfectly. And that includes reacting to a beautiful woman’s touch.”
Ivy knew her face was flaming. “What were you doing when Darrell hit you?”
“Trying to get a calf that had gotten stuck in the mud out of the ditch.”
She looked around.
“The collision freed the calf, so no harm done.”
Ivy looked down at the blood seeping through Noah’s torn sleeve. “No harm done? Right, that’s just fruit punch flowing out of your veins. I—darn, I hate ranching. It’s dangerous. And don’t give me that look. Just…get ready for me to touch you,” she said, and she gently grasped his arm and pressed down on the three-inch cut with her palm, trying to stop the bleeding.
“I’m okay, Ivy.”
“You’ve got a lump on your head and you’re lucky that it wasn’t even worse. I’ve seen Darrell drive.” She frowned at him.
“I know how you feel about ranching and I know I’ve upset you, but Darrell is a good hand,” he said. “Mistakes were made…but occasional injuries go with the job, Ivy. I’ve had worse.”
That wasn’t what she wanted to hear or think about. “I know about ranch mishaps. My mother died as a result of a seemingly minor ranch injury that was left untreated, so I know the dangers and that if you liv
e the life, you have to live with the possible consequences. That doesn’t mean I have to like the situation.”
“I’m sorry about your mother. I didn’t know the details. I was away at school at the time.”
She frowned. “It was a long time ago, and most people never heard the details. My father locked the world out. But my point about your injury is—”
“I know the point, but this is my life. It will always be my life.”
The sound of the truck ended the conversation. Noah insisted he could manage to climb in alone, even though a contrite Darrell wanted to help him. Two hours later Noah was all patched up and resting.
And Ivy was pacing the floor.
Marta came out of Noah’s bedroom. “He wants to talk to you, but I warn you, he’s mad as fire that the doctor told him to rest for the remainder of the day.”
Ivy nodded. She opened the door. Noah lay in bed, a bandage wrapped around his chest, another on his arm. By rights, his masculinity should have been diminished by his injuries. Instead, she felt as if testosterone was being piped into the room. Awareness of Noah as a virile, half-naked man made every cell in her body vibrate.
But she couldn’t let that distract her, so she just rushed on with what she had to say. “I wanted to tell you how sorry I am that I insulted your ranch,” she said. “I didn’t mean it. I was just spitting mad that you got hurt. And I know that Darrell is a good hand, so it was totally inexcusable of me to make those comments.”
A slightly amused look made Noah look even more virile. “That was a very polite speech. No attitude at all. And totally unnecessary. I knew why you said what you did, and I like plain speech. I like honesty. A man who’s had so much betrayal in his life will always go for the hard-to-take truth over the sweet lie every time. So there’s no need to apologize to me. You don’t have to love ranching.”
“Maybe not, but I could keep my opinions to myself.”
He laughed at that, and Ivy could see that it hurt his ribs. She rushed to his side. “Are they broken?”
“Just sore. I might have pulled a muscle.”
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