“Do you miss your mom and dad?”
“My mom, some. My dad and I were never close.”
She pulled back again, searching his face. “But you still miss him. He was your dad.”
The vise that was always around his heart tightened for a few seconds until it was excruciating. How did she know? His muscles tensed. How could he miss someone who was unrelentingly cruel to them all, David and him and his mom? But the truth was, he did. Or at least he missed the idea of what a dad should be that he had imagined his dad becoming half his childhood. A normal dad. One to play catch with, to talk with, to be with without fear of a mood swing making his jaw tense or his fists clench. The stab of pain he felt had a familiar taste to it. Like when you press an old bruise and the fresh pain reminds you of how you got it. He wanted to look away from her, to conceal what he always kept hidden, but he couldn’t. He had lost himself in the depths of those eyes. And now he recalled another pain.
He straightened. “Beth.” He looked down for a minute, collecting himself. “Why did you leave…when we were in St. Louis? Why did you leave my bed that night?”
Her face paled. He could tell that she was surprised by this. “Because…” She sat up now, drawing her knees in, their bodies no longer touching. “You’re a rock star. You have a different girl every night, right? I thought it was…I don’t know. I thought that you—”
He sat up. “You thought you were one of those girls.”
She nodded.
He frowned. “Did I do anything to make you feel that way?”
“I don’t know.”
“I went too fast.”
She nodded. “Maybe.”
He reached out and took her shoulders, turning her to face him. “Beth, with you it is different. It’s been different from the start. I wanted to be with you…how can I explain this? I wanted a connection with you. Maybe I fell back on sex as a way to establish that connection. Maybe that’s the only thing I know,” he added, more to himself than to her. “All I know is that I missed you when you were gone. The fact that I thought of you at all made you different.” He shut his mouth, afraid that she would disapprove even more of the shallow way he had been living his life. Maybe he had revealed too much. He rubbed up and down her arm. “I want to see where this can go, do you?”
Without hesitating, she nodded.
He exhaled. “Good!”
They sat quietly for several minutes, absorbed in their own thoughts.
“Chad?”
“Yes?”
“You know that kiss you gave me at the bottom of the hill?”
Where was this leading? “Uhh…yes?”
“That was some kiss!”
His face felt suddenly hot, and not from the fire. “Oh.” He wondered how he was to answer that, and then found himself saying, “That was only scratching the surface.”
She pulled away a little to look at him with a wicked smile. “Really?”
“Yeah. The kids were there and all. What I really wanted to do was this.”
He ran his hand along the base of her throat, sliding it up until he cupped her chin firmly. He leaned in, but didn’t kiss her at first. Her pulse raced underneath his palm. Her smile changed to something more serious. Her lips parted, the heat of her breath warming his fingertips as she released one trembling breath. Her eyes trailed to his lips and then back up, locking on his. She seemed to be trying to anticipate what he would do next. He leaned in closer, tilting his head and just brushing his lips against hers. He pulled back and smiled. Her eyes widened as if to say, “No more?” Yes, there was going to be more. Definitely more.
He dipped back in to take his first real taste, his fingers sliding up into her hair. Her skin was so blessedly soft, hair so silky. He felt his blood begin to heat and pulsate in his veins. He took more, going deeper to taste more of her.
There was no hesitation in her reaction, no coyness. She wanted this kiss. She’d asked for it and now she would take it. Her hand slipped under his shirt, finding skin. He groaned. She slid down against the couch so that she was underneath him a little. One hand rested behind his neck, keeping him close, the other now just nipped below the waistline of his jeans in back. With one arm he braced himself on the floor so that he could stay above her. The other hand impatiently pushed the couch back a little so that she could lie down.
Some part of her knew that there were children downstairs. It just didn’t care at the moment. She’d spent the last three years caring for Cassie alone, untouched and unloved by a man. She deserved a moment of selfish abandon, of letting it all go—the fears, the responsibilities, the aching loss. She wanted to shut out emotion and feel things carnally. She deserved this long, hot, lean mass of man sliding down along her body. Her core melted. But when he looked down on her, she knew that she could not do this with him without feeling something more, a sweet pain deep within. The body responded, oh yes! But so did the heart. She pulled him in again, her mouth opening wider. His tongue, oh my, his tongue! It was between them, then in her. He was an amazing kisser.
Her hand dipped lower into his jeans, breezing over his tight tush and holding him just above his long legs. There was a flash of a memory of him above her in St. Louis, in her as she tried to match his rhythm. He began to kiss her neck, and she bit her bottom lip to keep from making a noise, screaming out his name, moaning, calling out to some deity, or begging for more. Her hand fell from his neck and found his chest. She could feel the definition underneath the lightweight cotton, but that wasn’t enough. Shocked by her boldness, she yanked the tail of his shirt up to his armpits. The other hand came up along his hip, crossing his waist, moving over the soft hair of his stomach, to join in the exploration of his broad chest.
“I thought we had to behave,” he breathed.
“I don’t want to!”
Her mouth came to his chest, kissing, and then she trailed her tongue across his skin until she met his nipple and sucked for a beat. As if it had given her an idea, she impatiently brought her hands to her blouse and unbuttoned enough to pull it open to her sides. In the firelight, she saw his eyes follow and his face become tight.
He brought his hands to her, tentatively at first, skimming along the edge of her bra. Then, perhaps sensing her hard nipples beneath the silky fabric, he tweaked them. This time she did let a little moan escape. She arched and he took his cue, bringing his mouth down to suck through the silk and lace of her bra. She loved the urgency in his move, like he couldn’t wait to tug the fabric away; he just had to taste her. The thought thrilled her. His hand closed on her other breast, and he jerked the fabric aside and twirled his tongue around her nipple.
She squirmed, pushing her pelvis against his and finding him hard. “Mmmm…yes! More!” He lapped, his eyes closed, appearing to be totally into what he was doing.
They both sensed a noise and froze. The girls were tromping up the steps, chatting about something. In an instant, Chad and Beth were both sitting up.
“Oh shit! What was I thinking?” Beth whispered, panic making her voice hoarse.
Chad’s shirt fell back into place when he rose, but Beth’s required a little bit more work. She feverishly tried to button it and he reached over to try to help. The girls were almost at the top of the stairs. She slapped at his hands.
When the girls came around the side of the couch, they found both adults in a seated position, a throw pillow in Chad’s lap.
Cas smiled at them. “You moved the couch back. Was it too hot?”
Chad started to laugh but attempted to cover it with a cough. Beth reached over and squeezed his hand, harder than it appeared.
“Just, you know, needed more room.” Her voice was higher than usual and pitchy.
Cassie’s brow furrowed as she studied her mom. “Oookay. Well, we’re headed to bed. The whole sledding thing wore us out. See you guys in the morning.”
“Okay, honey. I think I’ll do the same. See you in the morning. Night, Jess.”
“Good nig
ht, Mrs. D. Chad.”
Beth turned to Chad with a relieved smile, releasing the vice-like grip she had on his hand.
“Umm, Mom?”
When she turned back, Jessica was somewhere down the hall, swallowed up in the shadows. Cassie stood in the entrance.
“Yes?”
Cassie smiled and pointed to the middle of her chest, waving her hand up and down.
Confused, Beth looked down. She had missed a button.
“Uhh, oh! Thanks.”
Cassie turned around and left without saying another word. Beth put her head down on Chad’s shoulder.
“That was so embarrassing!”
A second later, they heard a burst of laughter from the hallway.
“Go to sleep!” Beth snapped. She buried her head in his shoulder again with a huff of frustration.
Chad tried to sooth her. “It’s okay.” He kissed her hair.
“No it’s not!” she crossed her hands in front of her chest self-consciously. “And you keep those lips to yourself!”
Chad withdrew his hands, holding them up in innocence and backing away, laughing. “Okay! Okay!”
Beth frowned at him for several seconds, her shoulders tense, but then sighed. “I guess there’s nothing I can do about it now. What’s done is done.” She moved to stand up. Chad beat her to his feet and reached down to help her up the rest of the way. “I’m going to sleep now so that YOU”—she stabbed him in the chest with her finger with each word—“WON’T TEMPT ME ANY MORE!” To his credit, he didn’t mention that she was the one that pulled her blouse open.
“Okay.” He chuckled and she let her face relax into a smile.
He walked her to her door; his room was directly opposite. They stood, each with a hand on their doorknob.
“Good night, Beth,” he said softly.
“Good night.”
They entered their rooms and shut the doors, peering at each other through the cracks as they closed. Beth let out a frustrated scream.
“I need a long bath!” she said out loud, though there was no one to hear her.
A half hour later, she came to bed with wet hair. She had let herself slip under the water when reliving his kiss in her mind. Lying in bed, she thought about the fact that he was just yards away, and had trouble sleeping.
***
In the morning, they enjoyed breakfast together in the hotel’s dining room and then came back to the room to play cards with the girls. The laugher and the ribbing reminded Beth of family times with Paul, putting puzzles together with Cassie or playing a game. It warmed her and pained her at the same time.
At one, Chad walked them out to their car, insisting again on carrying the luggage. Once everything was in the trunk and the girls were in their seats, it was time to say goodbye.
Beth opened her car door, but didn’t climb in. Chad stood with his hand on top of the doorframe.
“Sure you can’t stay longer?”
Beth grimaced. “We have to get back in time to shower and get ready for four o’clock Mass. We’re already pushing it.”
He reached out and ran his hand up and down her arm with a sigh. “It was worth a shot.” He leaned his head into the car. “Bye, girls!”
Cassie looked up from something she was showing Jessica. “See ya, Chad! Thanks for everything!”
“No biggie. Good to see you again.”
“Bye. It was nice meeting you,” Jess added politely.
“It was a pleasure meeting you, Jess.”
Chad looked at Beth. “I had a great weekend.”
“Me, too.” She smiled, then wrapped her arms around him.
“You’ll call me tonight?”
She pulled back, but found she had a lump in her throat, so she just nodded and turned to get behind the wheel.
“Drive carefully,” was his last instruction before closing the door. He stood back, sticking his hands in his jeans pockets, and watched them drive away.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Beth lay snuggled in her bed in an oversized t-shirt. Her laptop rested on her legs. Her fingers weren’t flying over the keyboard, though, because she was on the phone with Chad. It was late, Cassie should have been in bed, but she was still taking her shower after studying for a big test with Jessica. “That’s a deal breaker. I’m paying for half or I’m not coming.”
“Beth, do you have any idea the disgusting amount of money I made last year just for singing?”
“Singing and shaking your bootie,” she corrected.
She could tell by the way that his voice warmed that he was smiling. “I do not shake my bootie.”
“Oh yes, you do.” She dropped her voice. She set her laptop aside and threw the covers off. “And it’s very hot, by the way.” She crept over to the door and listened for Cas. It seemed quiet.
Chad shifted gears. “You bet your sweet ass, it is!”
She turned away from the door with a sly grin. “Oh,” Beth returned coyly. “You think my ass is sweet?” She took a few steps toward the bed, her bare legs feeling chilled. What he said next had her stopping for a second.
His voice purred in the unique way that was totally Chad. “Baby, sweet doesn’t even begin to describe your ass.”
“Oooh!” She squealed in delight. Then, “Oooh! Cas! I th-thought you were in bed.”
“Going there, just wanted to say good night. That wouldn’t be Chad telling you that your ass is sweet, would it?”
Beth frowned. “Cassandra! Really!” But her giddiness took over. “Well, it’s not your Aunt Cali!” Both girls giggled.
“Beth, I’ll let you tell Cassie good night. Roger is pounding on my door and evidently isn’t buying that I’m not in here. I’ll overnight the plane ticket tomorrow.”
She hung up with Chad, and gave Cassie a hug good night. As she crossed to return to her bed, she caught her reflection in the dresser’s mirror. She was wearing one of Paul’s old Mizzou shirts. The smile faded from her lips. She stared at her image, noting the sadness in her eyes, weighing her shoulders down. Slowly, she pulled the shirt off over her head. She folded it up and laid it on the dresser, smoothing it out with her hand. She turned away and crawled under the covers in just her bra and her undies.
***
Later that week, Beth found herself winging her way to Kansas. Chad had arranged for a rental car for her so that she could drive to the stadium where they were playing. Roger was the first to see her backstage after the concert.
“Beth!” he shouted, spotting her down the hall. He enveloped her in a hug. “How are you?”
“Good! How was the show?”
“Awesome, as usual. How are you? How’s Cassie doing?”
“We’re both fine. Thanks for asking.”
“Good. Now, I know you’re not here just to be with my outrageously cute self, which I find highly disturbing by the way. Chad’s in our dressing room, down the hall, second door on the right, not the bigger one across the hall, Keith and David commandeered that,” the bassist added with a frown. “But he may have already hopped in the shower. He didn’t want you to see him all sweaty,” he informed her with a teasing smile.
***
Beth entered the dressing room, which was smaller than the one in St. Louis. She could hear the shower running behind the bathroom door. She sat on a stool and waited impatiently for Chad to come out. After a few minutes, she thought idly, “I wonder if rock stars sing in the shower?” She crept forward to put her ear to the door, and when she did, it swung open. She hesitated for only a second, then snuck inside and closed the door behind her. There was no sound besides the running water from the other side of the curtain. She had a sudden urge. This relationship made her feel young and reckless. Dare I?
On a whim, she peeled her clothes off, and then as quietly as she could, slipped into the back of the shower. She slid her hands around Chad’s waist, her body pressed against his. He leaned back against her, his body relaxing for a minute, and then turned around to kiss her.
; “Hey.”
She was surprised by his total lack of surprise. “I could be a crazed fan! Do you often have women in your shower?”
Chad bent down to kiss her protests away. “I could see you in the mirror.” Beth looked over his shoulder, through the crack between the curtain and the wall, and sure enough, the mirror offered a plain view of the rest of the bathroom.
“Well, all right then.” She let her fingers slide up his wet back.
Chad pulled her farther into the shower so the water could warm her from head to toe. He brushed wet hair back from her face and just gazed at her for several seconds. “I missed you.” His gravelly voice filled the space between shower wall and curtain, and he began to kiss her in earnest. “This could get dangerous,” he added seductively.
She nipped at his bottom lip. “Yeah, well Danger is my middle name.”
“Hmm…Beth Danger Donovan, interesting.”
“Oh, shut up and kiss me, you fool!”
“Yes, ma’am.” He clutched her closer. “Thank goodness for handrails and nonskid mats, eh?”
The couple was spending some time rediscovering each other’s bodies when there came a knock at the door.
“Chad? Chad? Have you seen Beth? I told her how to get here, but I wonder if she got lost?”
“Beth? Beth who?” Chad answered with a grin.
Beth slapped him on the chest. “Chad,” Beth whispered urgently, “what are we going to do?”
He kissed her neck. “Well, I’ve got several ideas along those lines.”
“Chad! Stop! He’s going to know I’m in here.”
“Well, darlin’, what did you think he would think when he saw your wet hair?”
“Oh, I hadn’t thought that far.” She considered her options. “It’ll dry in a half hour.”
“So, we’re going to stay in here for a half hour? Don’t you think that will look a little suspicious?” he teased her.
She frowned. “You are getting way too much pleasure out of this.”
“Actually, I was hoping for a little more...”
TRAPPED UNDER ICE (ROCKING ROMANCE COLLECTION) Page 11