Finally, it felt like everything she’d gone through since leaving had been a bad dream.
“Oh, my word,” Leila Monahan gasped as Kai’s family caught up to them. “This place is gorgeous!”
Kai managed a low laugh. “Yeah, and this is just a tunnel. Wait until you see an actual room.” Kai introduced her parents to Ffion, explaining the situation as quickly as she could. She was home. She’d been stuck in a torture chamber or fighting or in a cave or on a dragon’s back for a month, and all she wanted was to shower, sleep next to Rhys and forget.
“Where’s Cadoc?” Rhys asked, coming into the tunnel with Ashem and Morwenna close behind.
Rhys. Home. Kai wanted to melt into him, but he looked so tired she thought she might knock him over. Plus, her dad was watching them. Maybe having her family in Eryri would be kind of awkward, after all.
“He’s with Lady Seren.” Ffion’s voice was troubled. “He’s not the same as he was...before.”
“What happened to Cadoc would change anyone,” Morwenna said softly. “He’ll recover and be an idiot again.”
“I don’t know.” Ffion blinked ice-blue eyes the size of dinner plates. “I suppose time will tell.”
“Come. I’m going to my rooms, and I’ll show you where you’ll be staying,” Ashem said to the Monahans. He looked out to the sky. The sun was barely to its zenith. “We’ll meet back here at sundown to discuss what comes next and prepare for the Council meeting. I don’t know how the Council found out you were sundered, but Powell is going to make trouble.”
Kai groaned. “You think?”
Ashem didn’t respond, only gave her a long, level look before turning to Ffion. “Are you all right to stay here tonight?”
“Of course. I’ve been trading off with the members of the Invisible who returned to Eryri. I’ve only just started my watch.”
“Good.” Ashem gestured for Kai’s family to follow him, and Kai assured her parents three times that she would be all right before they walked out of sight.
As Morwenna went to follow, Rhys said, “Keep an eye on Ashem. Make sure he doesn’t leave to go after Juli. Having your heartsworn captured by Owain can keep anyone from thinking straight.”
Morwenna nodded and went out.
“How are you?” Rhys asked Ffion.
She rustled her wings. “Lonely. Though it will be better now that you’re all back. Cadoc has been trying, but he has his own ghosts.”
Rhys furrowed his brows. “His hand?”
Ffion tilted her head. “His hand, I think, is the least of it. But he won’t speak to me of anything serious except Griffith.” She sighed. “Still, it’s been a comfort to have him home.”
“I’m glad he’s here.” Rhys’s gaze flicked to Ffion’s belly. Even as a dragon, it was beginning to swell with her pregnancy. “If you need a break, we can call a member of the Invisible.”
Kai wondered how that worked, then assumed that whatever magic allowed Ffion to change back and forth must work on the baby. Then she wondered if the baby went back and forth from being a human baby to an egg. After all, dragons were reptiles. And with dragons having such an extraordinary life span, how long would Ffion be pregnant?
Strange.
Then, with a serious downturn in her mood, she realized that the length of a dragon pregnancy wasn’t something she would ever have to worry about.
Ffion chuffed. “I thought I was Kai’s bodyguard.”
Rhys reached for Kai’s hand and intertwined their fingers. “You are. I know you want to keep busy, but don’t push yourself. Tell me when it becomes too much for you, and we can figure something out.”
“All right.”
They said good-night, and Rhys pulled Kai the rest of the way into the cave.
The waterfalls sang in the atrium, ruffling the still waters that surrounded the white island in the pool exactly as they had a month ago. It was like no time had passed at all—like the bad things that had happened had been imaginary.
They crossed the arching stone bridge that connected the entrance tunnel to the central island, then climbed the staircase that swept from the island to the second floor of Rhys’s suite of rooms.
Kai inhaled, breathing in the scent of stone and water, then let out a long, slow breath.
Peace.
There was no torture here. No rushing wind or harness straps that dug into her middle. No camp full of other people. No battles. No complaining humans or odd looks from her parents.
Tears pricked the backs of her eyes, and she had to stop at the top of the stairs and tug her hand from Rhys’s to dash them away.
As if he could still read her mind, he gathered her close, and Kai found words spilling from her lips without any help from her brain. “I can’t believe we made it. I can’t believe everything turned out all right.”
His arms tightened. “It’s not all right. Not yet.”
She knew that. “I need it to be. Just for a minute.”
He stroked her hair. “All right. For this moment, everything is fine.”
She leaned against him, letting his warmth seep into her, and they let the silence drag on.
Then Rhys swept her off her feet, and Kai let out a yelp. As a Wingless, she’d become stronger, but his strength was astonishing. It never stopped surprising her that she’d ended up with him. Kind, intelligent, responsible. Freaking gorgeous.
He carried her into his bedroom—their bedroom—and Kai finally had the shower she’d been craving for weeks. Not that Owain hadn’t kept her clean—he was a fan of hygiene—but those had mostly been wiping herself down with a washcloth and a basin of water while trying not to freeze.
This was so much better.
Being with Rhys made everything better.
They showered quickly and crawled into bed. For the first time, Kai didn’t feel like she had to jump his bones to escape what had happened to her. They wrapped themselves in each other. It was time. She knew it was time to talk. But exhaustion crept up on her, and before she could find the words, she was asleep.
* * *
“Kai! It’s all right. Wake up.”
Kai writhed in the sweat-soaked sheets. Someone had her, pinning her, trying to keep her still. She kicked and screamed, her throat raw. Captured. Trapped. Everything, darkness.
A ball of golden light burst into being above her, beautiful and bright. She squinted and closed her eyes against it, turning her face into the solid warmth of whatever had her pinned.
“Cariad, it’s me.”
“Rhys.” His name came out a sob. She swallowed and stilled, her heartbeat slowing, her body shaking. She turned her entire body toward him, clinging. His arms came around her, fierce and tight. She tried to say his name again, but couldn’t form words. Every emotion that she’d locked behind the door was out, and she was paralyzed.
He slid his fingers into her hair, pressing her closer, his breathing uneven. Gently, he stroked her hair, murmuring words in Welsh that Kai could no longer understand. As the adrenaline of the nightmare faded, the shakes set in. Her teeth chattered. No matter what she did, she couldn’t get her body to still. Through a clenched jaw, she spoke. “I dreamed I was—I dreamed he—”
“Shh, beloved. You’re here. We’re home. You’re safe.” He didn’t loosen his grip, and she realized he was shaking, as well. That his words were as much for himself as they were for her. For the first time since being tortured and sundered, she didn’t want to be numb.
“I’m afraid to sleep,” she whispered against his chest. “I’m still afraid you’re a dream.”
He leaned his forehead against hers. “I should have kept you with me. Ancients, I can’t wrap my mind around you. I need this to be real.”
“I’ll stay real if you do.” She squeezed, her arms tight around him. “You
couldn’t have known.”
He shook his head, his skin brushing against hers. Abruptly, the ball of fire went out. “I made a mistake. Such an enormous mistake.”
His voice was thick and choked. He inhaled sharply. Something small and wet plopped onto Kai’s cheek.
“Rhys?”
He didn’t answer.
“Rhys...are you crying?”
He tucked her head beneath his chin, holding her tighter than ever—so tight it almost hurt. He didn’t speak, but took another sharp breath.
Gently, Kai pulled away from him far enough to put a hand to his cheek. It was wet. He turned his face away.
Shocked, Kai scooted up on her pillow and wrapped her arms around his neck, cradling his head to her chest. She wished, as hard and sharp as diamonds, that she knew what he was thinking. That she could offer the comfort of her mind as he had when she was Owain’s prisoner.
They were both so very broken.
He curled around her, tangling their legs together. The light still hovered in the air. Disoriented, Kai looked around and saw afternoon light streaming through the curtains they’d pulled over the windows.
She stroked his hair and kissed the top of his head. “It wasn’t your fault, cariad. Owain and Jiang are the only ones to blame.” Her cheeks heated at the endearment. She hadn’t meant to say it, it had just slipped out. “You’ve never done anything but tried to keep people from being hurt.”
His breathing eased and his arms loosened, but he shifted, fitting their bodies together closer still, not letting go. “That seems to be how I’ve made my greatest mistakes.”
Kai snorted. “Yeah, well, perfect is boring.”
“Thank the Stars you are alive.” Softly, he drew her down and kissed her forehead, their bodies aligning, chest to chest, hips to hips. He kissed her closed eyes. Kai found that her breathing was unsteady for a new reason. Despite everything, despite the terror of her nightmare and the pain in her chest and the thunderstorm of emotion she was realizing she wouldn’t be able to hide from or escape, need rolled over her. Not just for physical closeness—they’d managed that. She wanted to feel him again.
“I miss you,” she whispered. She squirmed against him and pressed her lips to his, parting them slightly. “We could be together forever, and I would still miss you. Close like this isn’t close enough.”
“I miss you, too. But after almost losing you completely, I’ll take what I can get.” Rhys tilted her head, taking her mouth in a kiss so fierce and tender Kai thought her heart would break.
“I love you,” Rhys broke the kiss long enough to say. “Tan o fy enaid, fflam o fy nghalon.”
Kai remembered those words. They were from the pledging ceremony. Fire of my soul. Flame of my heart.
Kai brought her mouth back to his, and there were no more words.
Chapter Twenty-one
The Emptiness Between
Seren watched Cadoc pace beyond the golden lattice that cut her off from the world. “If you would’ve agreed to go down and meet them, you wouldn’t be worrying right now.”
Cadoc glanced at her, then went back to pacing, his booted feet loud against the gold-and-white tiled floor of her audience chamber.
A salt-scented breeze blew through the mostly open wall to her left. Enough afternoon sunlight spilled into the room that flowers and trees grew in abundance around its edges, though none as large as the great tree that grew right at the room’s center, its branches still only halfway to the ceiling. Birds called to each other and a waterfall sang down into a pool, which fed into a stream that wound through the room.
Cadoc happened to walk by at just the right time, and Seren caught his faint scent—cedar and lemon oil. Glad for the veil, she closed her eyes and breathed it in.
“Too many people,” he muttered, changing directions to stalk the other way.
“What are you worried about? Kai?” Seren tried to take a teasing tone, but her words sounded forced. She loved Kai, but couldn’t help but remember that kissing Kai was the reason Cadoc had gone through so many horrible things.
Cadoc’s pacing didn’t slow. “Of course I’m worried about Kai. And Rhys. They’ve been to Hades and back. You aren’t?”
Seren’s brow furrowed. When they were younger, Cadoc had never been this irritable. Something was truly bothering him. “They’re home now. They’ll be all right.”
“Home,” Cadoc said derisively, “and planning to invite Owain over for tea.”
Seren reached up and smoothed her thumb across the fat, golden pearl that hung from her necklace. A pearl he’d given her centuries ago. Silence fell between them until Seren couldn’t stand it. “Cadoc, what is bothering you? Is it Kai and Rhys?”
She never could’ve asked if Iolani was there, but her Protector was off visiting her grandchildren for the day, leaving her alone with Cadoc. And the entire vee that guarded the room and hall outside.
Cadoc blinked and stared. “What?”
Seren toyed with the lace edge of her golden veil. “You can talk to me. Truly. I know what it’s like to be able to look, but not touch.”
Cadoc gave a sudden, sharp laugh. “You think I’m mooning over Kai?” He shook his head. “Ancients, I asked for that one, didn’t I?” He sighed heavily. “Lady, I was a fool. I like Kai very much. As a friend. And not because Rhys would scale me like a fish if I touched her, but because...” He shrugged. “That’s how I feel.”
Relieved that Cadoc didn’t harbor lingering feelings for her brother’s heartsworn, Seren tried to lighten the mood again. “Kai’s embrace isn’t the one you long for?”
He gave her the strangest look. “No. It isn’t.”
Seren swallowed, pinned by that amethyst gaze. Suddenly she very much wanted to know. “Oh? Whose embrace do you long for, Cadoc ap Brychan? Who did you dream of on those lonely nights when you were cursed and wandering?”
He studied the tiles as if her floor had become very interesting. “I just wanted to come home.”
Seren didn’t have anything pithy to say to that, so she studied him as intently as he did her floor. This wasn’t the first time Rhys had assigned Cadoc to be her guard. Though perhaps the last time he’d been more like a spy.
They’d been juveniles, still, and Iolani had just brought her to Eryri after centuries in hiding. Rhys had been curious, but the Council watched him like eagles. As the Seeress, she wasn’t supposed to have a family, so the Council had done all they could to prevent her from forming a relationship with Rhys and Deryn.
Cadoc being Cadoc, he hadn’t exactly been subtle about his mission. He’d ended up hanging about the audience chamber for hours every day. Finally, Seren had begun to talk to him, and he’d begun to play for her. To sing.
She loved to sing with Cadoc.
After months of harmless flirtation, they’d agreed to meet one night. He knew how she hated the visions. He’d said he would take her away—a childish dream, two juveniles thinking they could escape their responsibilities. Before they could go through with it, Seren had had another vision. She’d foreseen an assassin killing Rhys.
That vision had saved Rhys’s life.
Cadoc had stopped coming after that. Then he’d come of age, and life in the vee—protecting Rhys and Deryn—had become more demanding. They’d hardly spoken since. Until two months ago, when Seren had walked into a hospital lobby and found him there, waiting for her.
“S’mae, Rhys. Brânwen.”
Cadoc’s voice jolted Seren from her reverie. Kai and Rhys had come through the gate, which Cadoc had closed only a few moments ago, sending the last petitioners of the day on their way.
Cadoc shooed a guard and pulled the golden lattice gate closed with his left hand, his right hand tucked securely into a pocket. The door snagged, and Rhys grasped the metal and helped. Cadoc�
��s grin took on a wry twist, but he didn’t say anything, only hugged Rhys in the back-smacking way men had. He and Rhys spoke in low voices for a moment, then Cadoc led both her brother and Kai across the mosaic floor.
Perhaps he still was more of a spy than a true guard.
Cadoc bowed low. “Lady Seren, Seeress of Eryri. I present Rhys ap Ayen ap Thân, King of Dragons, and Kai Monahan, Queen of Dragons.”
“I don’t know if we can call me that anymore,” Kai muttered.
Seren stood, her trailing golden skirts rustling. The jeweled charms sewn so that they dangled in rows from the skirt made a tinkling music as she moved. She waved a hand at Cadoc. “I know my own blood, you scalebrain.”
For some reason, Cadoc paled.
To cover her confusion at his reaction, Seren turned away and pressed her fingers to a hidden latch on one side of the lattice bubble that surrounded her dais. It opened a cleverly hidden door. One section of the intricate golden vines swung outward, and she escaped the cage-like structure. “I’m glad you made it home. Are you ready to try to heal the sundering?”
Seren had been thinking about Cadoc’s suggestion since the last time she saw Rhys and Kai. The more she thought about it, the more she hoped it would work. Perhaps there was something in Rhys and Kai that had been physically damaged. If so, she could fix it.
Rhys looked sheepish. “We came to see you, too. Not only to ask a favor.”
“Nonsense.” Seren picked up their bare hands in her gloved ones and squeezed. “It isn’t a favor, it’s a necessity. Are you ready?”
“Are you?” Kai asked. “It’s hard to tell anything about you with that veil on. Are you sure you’re well enough?”
“I feel quite recovered.” Seren and pulled off her gloves, tucking them into the metal belt at her waist. “What about you, Kai?”
Kai’s sea-green eyes widened. “Me?”
Truth of Embers Page 22