The Big Ohhh

by Ashton, Nikki

  That did it. One look at the mug and Charlie doubled over with laughter.

  “Shush, you’ll wake them up and then my dad will bang on the door wanting to meet you.” I slapped at his arm but couldn’t help laughing along with him.

  “God, you’re funny,” Charlie sighed.

  “Not me, my bloody mother.”

  His eyes softened as he looked at me and when his hand lifted to tuck a lock of my long dark hair behind my ear, everything turned warm and tingly and when his fingertips lingered on my neck, my stomach did a little flip too.

  “You’re so pretty and I really want to kiss you,” he said, as he watched my tongue dart out to lick my bottom lip.

  “You can if you like.”

  I had no idea what was wrong with me. This wasn’t my first visit to the fun fair of sex, and I’d had one-night stands before, but something about Charlie made me feel nervous and a little bit virginal. He was funny and sweet as well as being hot and I really didn’t want to disappoint him, because for all my head was saying it was one night and he couldn’t possibly want anything more, my heart hoped that he asked to see me again. That thought in turn confused me because if it did become something more, then this wouldn’t be a one night stand and I would have given up the goods on a first date and he then might think I was too easy to be someone to get serious with and…oh shit, romance was far too bloody complicated. I decided I’d concentrate on the here and now and just go with the flow.

  As I inched closer, Charlie’s hand slowly slid down my neck, along my arm and then landed on my bottom, all the time his gaze on me as I pushed out unsteady breaths. He then pulled me closer until my hips landed against him and I could feel the beginnings of a hard on.

  Okay, so it was slightly disappointing that he didn’t have full on wood. I was wearing a really cute black dress with white spots and a fairly low neckline. I also had on what I liked to think of as my ‘fuck me’ shoes; yellow, pointed toed stilettoes and not to mention my favourite ‘Scarlett Woman’ shade of lipstick.

  Mentally, I pushed Charlie’s half erected flagpole to one side and concentrated on the soft lips that were now kissing me and I didn’t think I’d ever had such a sweet, yet hot, kiss before in my life. One hand stayed on my bum, while the other gently caressed my cheek and his tongue and lips whipped me up into a frenzy.

  With soft moans, I walked him backward toward my bed, hooking my fingers into the waistband of his trousers.

  “Shit,” he groaned, as he fell back onto the bed. “You taste so good.”

  My breath sped up trying to keep in time with my heart as heat burned in the pit of my stomach and flamed its path to between my legs. Charlie pulled me down next to him and trailed a hand along my side, his fingertips whispering down to my thigh, pushing up my dress.

  His lips and tongue felt incredible against mine, moving to the perfect rhythm to build up my excitement.

  “Shit, Willow.” he whispered reverently.

  “Charlie.”

  “What house are you in?” he asked in between kisses.

  My mind tried to think about what he was talking about, momentarily stopping me from kissing him back.

  “Cause I’ve got something I’d love to slither in.”

  My breath caught as I realised what he’d said, and I pulled back suddenly wanting to cry at how corny he was. It couldn’t be happening, surely someone so hot couldn’t say something so ridiculous. It made my heart weep.

  I opened my eyes to look at him and almost collapsed with relief when I saw a huge grin on his face as he immediately erupted into laughter.

  “You bugger,” I hissed, poking him in the chest.

  “Sorry, but I couldn’t resist it.”

  Charlie pulled me closer to him and wrapped his arms tightly around me. “One thing though.”

  “Hmm.” I closed my eyes and breathed in his sexy, manly smell.

  “Can we turn the light off, Harry’s giving me the willies.”

  I groaned and rolled my eyes, only for Charlie to capture my mouth again and restart the waves of want inside of me.

  Our hands roamed over each other’s bodies as our pelvises seemed to be magnetised to each other. My nipples were like bullets and my knickers were soaking as Charlie’s hands explored, stroked, and touched me.

  I reached out my hand and rubbed the front of his trousers and felt that he was now fully erect, and my clit throbbed in time with my heart.

  “Willow,” he gasped as I alternated my rub with a squeeze.

  I reached for the button on his trousers, popped it open and slowly pulled down his zip, as my fingers trailed down his shaft.

  Charlie groaned as he thrust his hips forward, pushing himself against my hand.

  “Oh fuck.”

  His cry was almost pained, I did a little mental skip that I was turning him on so much and then…he came in his pants.

  A rich meal eaten right before having sex can inhibit orgasms – in other words don’t eat a donner kebab on the way home if you or your partner are feeling horny.

  * * *

  Charlie

  My eyes creaked open, instantly blinded by hundreds of fucking Harry Potters staring down at me and, for a moment, I forgot where I was. After a few seconds I remembered, and turned my head to look at the sleeping body next to me. Shit, she was pretty, even with the mass of dark hair spread across the pillow and her mouth gaping open on a soft snore.

  I’d really had fun with Willow the night before, she made me laugh with the stories of her job as a dentist’s receptionist. I found her interesting and loved to hear her talk about her love of 70’s music, romance novels, and girly films. All in all, it had been a great night.

  Then I remembered and looked up at the ceiling with a silent groan.

  “Fucking pathetic,” I muttered, and quickly looked down at my morning wood.

  I glanced over at Willow and saw that she was fully clothed, the same as me, although my trousers were undone giving my cock room for its usual morning push up routine. Her dress was bunched up around her thighs and her left tit was almost hanging out, but generally we were pretty respectable, which wasn’t a surprise since I’d spurted like a teenager in my damn undies.

  As soon as it had happened, I wanted to smack myself in the bollocks for them being too eager, but Willow had carried on kissing me as though nothing happened. After a couple more minutes, I’d said I needed a pee but actually went to the bathroom to clean up. When I got back Willow was fast asleep, snoring much louder than she was now, so drunk and knackered, I curled up next to her.

  It wasn’t the first time I’d come a little too quickly, but it hadn’t happened for a while. The last time had been with Tory Baker two years ago when I’d finally gone on a date with her after almost two months of chasing her. I’d explained it away as me not having been with anyone for ages, but I could tell by the look of pity in Tory’s eyes that she didn’t believe me. Needless to say, we hadn’t had a second date, although she’d been pretty cool about it and I didn’t think she’d told anyone, as we did actually get to have sex at the second attempt a little later that night.

  I’d had sex with a couple of girls since, and there’d been no early release on either occasion, but then I hadn’t really been in to them that much. It had been purely sex and nothing more - unlike Willow, who I wanted to see again; badly. There was something about her that made me feel happy and at the risk of sounding a bit pathetic, contented. I didn’t feel the need to try with her, everything had come naturally - my spunk too, apparently.

  Claustrophobia began to swamp me so I swung my legs and dropped my feet to the floor. I ran a hand through my hair and looked back over my shoulder at the sleeping Willow and my heart sank knowing she wouldn’t want to see me again – it was Tory Baker on repeat.

  I glanced at the damn ugly Hedwig clock to see it was only quarter past six, far too early to be awake on a Sunday morning. I thought about trying to go back to sleep, or maybe even sneak out and go home,
but that wasn’t my style, and aside from which, I wanted to try and get Willow to go on a date with me and I had more chance of that face to face.

  I did know one thing; my mouth was as dry as the bottom of a birdcage and I could definitely do with a drink of something. I pushed up from the bed, zipped myself up, padded across the room and quietly slipped the bolt across and opened the door. When I looked out the coast seemed clear, so I stepped onto the landing, trying to remember which of the closed doors the bathroom was. Nothing at all gave me a clue or reminded me which one I’d drunkenly stumbled into the night before. Desperate for a drink, I decided going down to the kitchen would be safer, at least I knew where that was and wouldn’t be likely to stumble into someone’s bedroom.

  I made my way down the stairs, remembering about the creaking step, and went to the kitchen, my tongue desperate for the liquid that would soon be in my mouth, I was that thirsty.

  When I opened the door, I was relieved to see it was empty, the only sound was that of a dripping tap – music to my ears. I took a step forward and looked at all the cream cabinets on the wall, wondering which one held the glasses or mugs for me to drink from. I opened the one nearest to me and when I saw that was full of plates, moved on to the next one. Still not what I was looking for, I’d reached for the handle of the next one when a voice behind me almost made me shit my pants – well I’d already creamed them, so it would just be my luck.

  “If it’s glasses that you’re looking for, it’s that one.”

  I swivelled around on my socked feet to see a tall, round bellied man with grey hair stuck out at all angles, standing in the doorway, he wore nothing but a huge smile on his face as he pointed at a cupboard.

  “Morning,” he said and reached his hand out to me. “I’m Ivan, Willow’s dad and you must be the young man who failed to make my daughter orgasm last night.”

  “I-I…”

  I had no fucking words for the naked man grinning at me. Firstly, he had his cock out and swinging proudly, secondly, how the hell did he know I hadn’t made Willow come and thirdly…he had his cock out and swinging proudly!

  “Oh, don’t worry about it,” he scoffed and waved a hand at me as he stalked toward me with purpose. “It can happen when you’re not yet familiar with a woman’s body.”

  “Sorry.” My eyes went wide as I did a huge swallow, as if I had a whole fucking watermelon stuck in my throat.

  Ivan slapped a big hand on my shoulder, and I stiffened, struck by how close his swinging cock was to my thigh.

  “When it’s your first time with a woman-.”

  “I’m not a virgin.” I blurted out.

  Ivan chuckled and squeezed before he dropped his hand to his side. “I know that. You wouldn’t have got her making the little moans and sighs if you were.”

  “Were you listening at the door?” I asked, alarmed and slightly disturbed.

  “No, no.” He shook his head as he passed me and reached for the cupboard where he’d said the glasses were. “We have a baby monitor in there.”

  I stumbled back a couple of steps, as bile rose in my throat.

  “What the fu-.”

  Ivan let out a huge roar of laughter. “I’m joking,” he said, as he took a glass and moved to the sink. “I have no idea whether she was moaning and sighing, but I know I didn’t hear you bring that baby home. We’re in the next room and usually catch that sort of thing. The boys too, I always know when they’ve hit the jackpot, although our youngest seems to be struggling at the moment.”

  I wanted to look around and check for hidden cameras, convinced someone was playing a trick on me.

  “A little tip for you.” He turned on the tap, filled the glass with water, then turned and handed it to me. “Testosterone levels are highest when we first wake up, which means that the best orgasms are likely to happen first thing in the morning.”

  With the cold glass clutched in my hand, I tried not to look below Ivan’s shoulders as he leaned against the sink, with his arms folded across his chest.

  “Okay,” I managed to mutter.

  “So, that being the case…sorry I didn’t catch your name.”

  “Ch-Charlie.”

  He winked and tapped his temple. “I’ll remember, I’m usually pretty good with names. Anyway, that being the case, Charlie, I suggest you get back up those stairs and treat my daughter to something special.”

  I had no idea what to do or say as I stood there with the glass of water in my hand and gaped at him like an idiot.

  “You know I normally charge a pretty penny for that advice.” He laughed and leaned forward to punch me in the shoulder.

  “Sorry?”

  He dropped his head back and laughed. “I’m a sex therapist,” he said. “So, you ever need any information on how to make sure my daughter is satisfied, well, you let me know. Now, I’m going to take my own advice and wake Maureen up with something special, if you know what I mean.”

  He winked at me again, filled another glass with water and then disappeared, leaving me in exactly the same place and position I’d been in when his swinging cock had been inches from my body.

  “Did I dream that?” I whispered to myself, looking toward the door.

  I then looked down at the glass in my hand and realised that it certainly hadn’t been a fucking terrible dream. I’d just had sex lessons from the naked father of the girl who I’d failed to satisfy because I’d jizzed in my pants.

  Chocolate is known to contain natural feel-good chemicals which can boost your orgasm. Smear each other with chocolate and slowly lick it off – melted Snickers are not recommended in case of anaphylactic shock.

  * * *

  Willow

  I smacked my lips and moved my tongue around in my mouth, desperately trying to lubricate the sawdust that seemed to be coating it. Ugh, vodka was the drink of the devil, particularly when you drank as much as I had the night before.

  I knew immediately that Charlie wasn’t in bed next to me but remembered waking in the very early hours with him snuggled up against my back, with an arm wrapped around my stomach. That meant he’d sneaked out at some point, probably never to be seen again, which was really disappointing. Okay, so the lack of sexual gratification hadn’t been ideal, but aside from that we’d had a great night – and he was gorgeous and had drunk an awful lot of vodka too, so I wasn’t going to hold one false start against him. Unfortunately, it looked as though he wasn’t quite so eager.

  “Fucker,” I muttered as I dragged the duvet over my face. “Fucking, fuck, fuck.”

  “Who you talking to?” A deep, sexy voice asked.

  The covers were tugged from me, and I looked up at a pair of beautiful, fern green eyes and cute dimples.

  “You’re still here,” I gasped, struggling to push up onto my elbows. “I thought you’d gone.”

  Charlie shook his head and handed me a glass of water. “I went to get a drink and thought you might like one.”

  He lifted a glass to his own lips and took a long swig. My eyes were fixated on his Adam’s apple as it bobbed with each swallow of his drink, and when a drop of water ran down his chin, I followed every inch of its path until it dropped and soaked into the cotton of his shirt.

  “God, I needed that,” he said, smiling at me as he lowered the glass.

  I stared at him and nodded.

  “So,” he said and winced a little. “I kind of met your dad before.”

  Suddenly my power of speech returned. “Please tell me you didn’t.”

  My stomach flipped with the dread of what my dad might have said or done. I knew that whatever it was, it would not have been good.

  “What did he say?” I groaned and closed my eyes. “Tell me, no matter how bad.”

  I felt Charlie sit on the edge of the bed and heard him clear his throat, making my eyes flash open to see his body turned toward me.

  “It was really bad wasn’t it?”

  Charlie’s lips thinned into a straight line and his eyes looked do
wn at the carpet. I held my breath and waited, knowing without doubt I was not going to like whatever words came out of his mouth.

  “He, um, he was naked.” He rubbed his forehead with three fingers and eyed me warily.

  “And what else?” I asked, resigned to the fact that this would be the last time I’d probably see the gorgeous man sitting on my bed. No doubt his night with me would become a tale of hilarity that would grow in its hideousness with each telling.

  “HetoldmehowtomakesureyouhadanorgasmthismorningbecauseIdidn’tgiveyouonelastnight.” Charlie blurted it out in one long word without taking a breath.

  As he blew out his cheeks with eyes full of fear, I flopped back against my pillows.

  “UGH!” I cried and banged my curled fists onto the mattress. “Why me? God, I hate my damn life.”

  My legs started to kick up and down in time with my fists and I must have looked like a toddler having a tantrum. As I shook my head from side to side, I continued with my screams of anguish at why I’d been landed with such embarrassing parentage.

  “Willow,” Charlie said as he placed a hand on my thigh. “Hey, calm down. Don’t get upset about it.”

  I stopped immediately and stared at him, with what I was sure were wild eyes. “Don’t get upset. You’re kidding right? You met Ivan The Fucking Terrible.”

  “Ivan the what?” he asked with a grin.

  I waved him away. “That’s what we call him when he’s annoying, and my mother becomes Maureen. The point is Charlie, he’s an embarrassment and now you’re going to avoid me forever.”

  He shook his head. “No, I’m not. At least it shows he cares,” he replied and stroked my leg over the duvet.

  “But he was…oh shit,” I groaned. “He was naked and gave you advice on sex.”

  I slapped my hands over my eyes and let out a strangled cry.

  “You can go now if you want to,” I said on a croaky whisper. “I understand.”