“Yeah,” he answered without even looking at who the caller was.
If it was bloody Viv, I was pretty sure I’d end up throwing the bloody phone against the wall and then stamping on it, but when I looked at Charlie and his face went white, I knew it wasn’t her. He pushed up from the chair and took two paces before half-turning back to me.
“Okay,” he said to the caller with a shaky voice. “I’ll be there in about twenty minutes. Keep him warm and call the doctor’s number on the board in the kitchen. Thanks Dean. I’ll see you as soon as I can.”
Charlie ended the call and ran a shaky hand down his face.
“What’s wrong?” I asked as I stood up and went to him.
“Johnny’s got a fever but says he’s cold. I’m sorry but I need to go. If he gets pneumonia…” His voice trailed off as he looked around the room.
“Is he likely to?” I asked as I watched him carefully.
“Probably not, but it’s dangerous for him. We have to be sure it’s not an infection from him self-catheterising. An infection is more dangerous for…actually you know what, Willow, I’m sorry I need to go. Do you know where I put my car keys?”
“Should you drive, you’ve had a beer?”
“Only had two and we ate all that food.”
“Yes but-.”
“Willow, where the hell are my keys,” he cried. “I’ll be fine, I swear.”
I knew he was worried and probably hadn’t meant to snap, but it still stung a little. I tried not to let it bother me as I went out into the hall and found his keys on the shelf by the front door. I turned around to take them to him, but he was already behind me, picking up his duffle bag.
“Shall I come with you?” I asked as I reached for my own keys.
“No,” he answered immediately. “I may have to take him to the hospital or sit up with him. It wouldn’t be any fun for you.”
“I want to be there to support you,” I offered.
He gave me a brief smile and then a quick kiss to the cheek. “I’ll call you when I can. Okay?”
I nodded and stepped aside to let him pass. As he opened the front door, he turned back to me again.
“I am sorry, Will. I really am and I’ll ring you as soon as I have some news.” He reached for my hand, gave it a quick squeeze and then was gone.
As I watched him pull away all I wanted to do was cry. I knew it hadn’t been his fault, but our perfect night had been ruined yet again and what made it worse was that it was my first night as his girlfriend.
Heat up the action by re-enacting those steamy love scenes from films such as 9 ½ Weeks. Take it in turns to blindfold each other and feed and drip food over every orifice – only include the ears if they’ve been cleaned of all wax.
* * *
Charlie
As I closed the door on the doctor, I heaved a sigh of relief. Johnny had nothing more than a virus. Yes, we had to be careful he didn’t develop something more serious, such as pneumonia, but it wasn’t an infection which was a huge positive. Johnny was particularly glad because if he got an infection from self-catheterising it would be likely he’d keep getting them and then the doctors would recommend a permanent catheter which was something he was desperate to avoid.
I was grateful that Dean and Si, Johnny’s mates, had noticed quite quickly that he was looking flush and then acted so quickly. They’d got him into bed and checked his temperature before calling me but when it went up that was when they knew I should probably get home.
I’d made sure to drive carefully coming back, because although I knew I was safe to drive, I was also worried that two beers might have taken me over the drink driving limit. Once I got through the door though, I knew I’d been irresponsible and should have got a taxi, but I was too worried to wait. I vowed I wouldn’t risk it ever again, but my brother was the most important person in my life, and I couldn’t stand the thought of not being there for him.
“Charlie.”
Johnny’s croaky voice surprised me because I’d left him asleep only a few minutes before. I rubbed at my chest and made my way down the hall to his room which was in darkness.
“What’s up?” I asked as I moved to the side of his bed and rested my forearms on the rail.
“Sorry I fucked up your night. I know you were looking forward to it.”
“It’s fine, there’ll be other nights.”
I smiled and forced myself not to pull his duvet further up his shoulders – he hated people fussing around him.
“Yeah but, you seemed really excited. Like it was going to be a big night. You weren’t going to ask her to marry you, were you?”
“No,” I scoffed, not wanting to tell him I had asked her to be my girlfriend though.
I closed my eyes against the thought of how the night had gone down. It had got off to such a great start and then Viv’s text and Dean’s call had ambushed everything. That wasn’t Johnny’s fault though and he shouldn’t feel bad about it.
“Was she okay about you leaving?”
Huh, was she okay about me leaving? She was a fucking trooper and had sucked it up and accepted it and then I’d snapped at her and told her I didn’t want her with me, when really, I should have jumped at the chance to have her support.
“She was fine. Willow’s pretty chill, so there were no dramas.”
“Well that’s good. I think I’m going to get some sleep now.”
He pulled his duvet up, right above his ears, where I wanted it to be and closed his eyes.
“The switch for your bed is on this side.” I said and got a small nod from him. “Night.”
I left the room and quietly pulled the door, leaving it open just a crack in case he needed me in the night. Once I was in my own room, I fired off a couple of text messages.
Me: Teresa not sure if you even care but Johnny isn’t well. He has a virus. Know you hadn’t planned to come home tonight but if you do be quiet – he needs his sleep.
With a sigh I wondered why I’d bothered, I then typed out the next one to Willow.
Me: Hi Will, really sorry about tonight and for snapping at you. I get panic stricken when anything happens to him. I’ll make it up to you, I swear. I don’t know when he’ll be well enough for me to leave, so will keep you informed. And just so you know, your boyfriend thinks his girlfriend is amazing x
I read it twice, wondering whether the last sentence was too soppy, but I really did think she was amazing, so quickly hit send hoping it would go some way to apologising for the way I’d shot out of there.
I had started to undress for bed and had only got my jeans off when I heard my phone go. Reaching for it, I couldn’t help but feel relief when I saw it was Willow.
Pretty Girl: There’s no need to be sorry, Johnny is your priority and we can do it again some other time and I totally understand your worry. Let me know how he’s feeling and if there’s anything I can do; you know, maybe sit with him if you need to go out or even get you some shopping. Anything at all xx
My heart sank a little when I noticed she hadn’t mentioned the sentence about me finding her amazing and I worried that maybe she’d changed her mind about being my girlfriend. I wouldn’t blame her with the amount of false starts and drama that we’d had in only three weeks of seeing each other. I knew it wasn’t the ideal way to start a relationship, but Johnny had to come first, and I hoped she didn’t give up on us too soon.
I was in bed and almost asleep when my text went again. I sighed with frustration thinking if it was Viv again, I would definitely tell her to piss off, but when I picked up my phone, I noticed it was Willow. I sat up quickly, worried that something was wrong remembering that she was alone in the house.
Pretty Girl: Sorry, I got distracted by Polly calling me. She’s now having a sleep over btw. She’s not much of a substitute for you in the cuddling stakes and she hogs the bed, but she’ll do. I wanted to say your girlfriend thinks her boyfriend is amazing too <3 xx
I hadn’t realised how worried I’d
been until I’d read her text, the relief felt enormous. I was so glad she still wanted to be my girlfriend and that she realised how I had to put Johnny first. I couldn’t be with someone who didn’t respect that, and I really wanted to be with her. So, with a huge grin on my sleepy face, I sent her one last text.
Me: Don’t let her snuggle too much, I’m already jealous. Night-night, get some sleep and speak to you tomorrow xx
Carry a quickie sex kit with you such as, condoms, scarves or handcuffs and lubrication – perhaps don’t include electrical tape in case you get stopped by the police and they think you’re off to kidnap someone.
* * *
Willow
A second pair of shoes were thrown across my room with a curse, almost taking the Hedwig clock out. I was in a foul mood and had decided to take it out on my wardrobe and the score was currently Willow – 0, Wardrobe – 2; the two being the boxes which had fallen on my head and the leather belt buckle which had hit me in the ear making it throb.
The reasons for me being the bitch from hell was my period and my boyfriend. One was present in my life and the other one wasn’t and as my boyfriend hadn’t actually managed to come other than in his pants, it wasn’t hard to work out which one was hanging around.
I’d woken up with the usual dull ache in my back and cramps in my stomach and by the time I’d practically crawled to the bathroom I was in agony. Thankfully, we had a quiet day at the surgery, and I was able to moan to my heart’s content and swallow painkillers as if they were peanut M&M’s. At one point, James actually yelled at me to either stop moaning or go home, but when I burst into tears he couldn’t retract the statement quickly enough, so when it got to three-thirty and I asked Zoe, one of the other nurses to stand in for me for the last couple of hours, I know I heard him sigh and mumble ‘thank the fucking Lord’.
Needless to say, I was not happy to hear music booming through the lounge window when I got home. All I wanted to do was to curl up in my bed and go to sleep – forget about my period pains and forget that Charlie hadn’t called in two days and all I’d had was a sodding text that said ‘Johnny still not too good. Hope you’re okay’ with one bloody kiss at the end of it. Well if that was him ‘keeping me informed’, he was shit at it. In the end, Toby’s music was so loud, I decided to tackle my wardrobe instead of getting into bed and feeling sorry for myself.
“Ugh,” I ground out as I tried to extract an intricately strapped dress from a broken coat hanger. “Sod off.”
The dress and hanger joined the shoes over in the ‘what the hell was I thinking’ pile.
“What the hell is your problem?” Ruben appeared at my bedroom door, rubbing at his eyes. “I’m trying to sleep, and now numb nuts has turned his music off, all I can hear is you swearing and throwing things around, so shut the fuck up.”
“What have you been doing that you need to sleep at five in the afternoon?” I asked, immediately thinking he’d been taking some sort of drugs to keep him awake at night.
“I didn’t sleep much last night and we had really late nights at Auntie Rosemary’s. Anyway, what’s it got to do with you?”
“Plenty, if you’re doing something stupid.”
Ruben curled his top lip. “What does that mean? I’m trying to sleep, what’s so stupid about that?”
“It’s why you need to sleep is what’s stupid,” I replied, getting up from kneeling next to my wardrobe. “Tell me what you’ve been doing.”
“I told you. We had late nights and I didn’t sleep much last night.”
“What were you doing on your late nights?” I took a step closer to him and peered into his eyes.
“You’re being weird, why do you keep staring at me? Do you need glasses?”
“No. Just answer the question, Ruben.”
“Playing cards and talking, if it’s any business of yours. What did you think, I’d been out clubbing with Maureen and Ivan the Fucking Terrible?”
“I don’t believe you,” I snapped as I thrusted my hands to my hips.
“What, that I didn’t go clubbing with Mum and Dad? Shit, what do you take me for?”
“I don’t know Ruben, and no I didn’t mean that. I want to know why you were so bloody cagey when I saw you near the toilets at Carrington’s.”
His brow furrowed and then he shook his head. “You really can’t keep out of my business, can you?”
“Tell me.”
“It’s nothing to do with you, Willow, so stop fucking prying.” Ruben leaned his top half closer to me, pointing a finger in my face. “I’m tired because I played cards with my family until late every night and couldn’t sleep because I drank too much coffee and ate too much damn Chinese food last night, so if I want to sleep at five in the afternoon, I will.”
“So, you haven’t been taking anything that might keep you awake?” I asked as I tilted my chin in defiance.
“What, apart from coffee?”
Ruben dropped his hands to his sides and stared at me. I had come so far; I knew I might as well come right out and ask him.
“Are you taking drugs? Was that guy you were with your dealer?”
Ruben’s mouth dropped open and he shook his head in disbelief.
“I think you’re the one on drugs. That’s what you think, that I’d be stupid enough to do drugs? Do you even know me at all?” He scratched his head and turned toward the door. He only took two steps before he turned back again. “I can’t believe you’d even think that of me, Willow.”
I had to admit, he looked hurt and if it didn’t mean keeping him safe, I’d have felt awful for raising it with him.
“I just think-.”
“Hang on,” he cried. “That’s why Mum and Dad made me go with them wasn’t it. You told them you think I’m a druggie, didn’t you?”
I felt my face heat up at being caught out, but I still wasn’t sorry.
“They needed to know. We love you Ruben and don’t want you falling into something that you can’t get out of.”
“I’m not taking damn drugs,” he yelled. “You had no right to tell them that. You have no proof and that’s because I’m not taking anything I shouldn’t.”
“But you looked cagey and twitchy and it was more than me being in your business. You wanted me away from you and he looked dodgy as hell.”
“That doesn’t make either of us coke heads.”
“Ah!” I cried. “I never said coke, so that’s what you’re doing is it.”
“No!” Ruben stamped his foot and looked up at the ceiling. “I’m not taking drugs, why can’t you get it into your head.”
“So what Ruben, why look so damn suspicious hanging around a corridor with a dodgy looking guy?”
“Because he’s my damn boyfriend, Willow,” he yelled, inches from my face. “I’m gay, okay.”
His words were spat at me and his chest heaved as a whole host of emotions crossed his face – anger, fear and maybe relief.
“Gay?” My voice was small as the word came out as a question.
Ruben let out a long exhale. “Yes, Willow. I’m gay. Satisfied now?”
He flopped down onto the edge of my bed and rested his forearms on his knees, he looked down at the floor strewn with clothes.
“Why haven’t you told us?” I asked as I sat next to him and put a hand on his back. “You surely don’t think we’d be ashamed, or even care, do you?”
His head shot up and narrow eyes glared at me. “No, I know you’d all be fine with it.”
“So, what is it?” I pulled him closer, feeling heartbroken that he would feel the need to keep his sexuality secret from us. “You’re not ashamed, are you?”
“No,” he replied, but sounded a little hesitant.
“Ruben, surely not.” I felt his shoulders tense and squeezed him tighter against my side.
“No, not really. I’m not, it’s the boys all have this reputation of being great with women and we’re all supposed to be good looking, able to have any girl we want but…”
He looked up at me and gave me the first proper smile I’d had from him in ages. It made my heart crack and the pain pierced my chest. I’d missed the twinkle in his eyes and the feel of his love. I’d missed my little brother.
“I’m not ashamed, I swear,” he said and rested his dark, tousled head on my shoulder.
“So why keep it from us then?” I asked as I took his hand in both of mine.
“You are part of this family, aren’t you?” he replied on a laugh. “You do know how it works?”
“Yeah, well there is that.”
We both laughed quietly and sighed at exactly the same time.
“Seriously though,” Ruben said. “I wanted something for me for a while. Something that I didn’t have to share, or that Maureen and Ivan the Fucking Terrible would feel the need to discuss or impart their wisdom about.”
Then something struck me. “So, what about the girls in the den? All those times I’ve come home and either you or Toby have got someone in there.”
He shrugged. “I did think I was bisexual at one time, but I think that was me denying it, so I did bring a couple of girls back. I actually had a boy in there once.” He grinned and winked at me and I suddenly saw the old Ruben, the cheeky, funny and happy, Ruben.
“No way.”
He nodded. “Oh yeah, but it was too scary sneaking him out in the morning.”
“You are being careful, aren’t you?”
“Yes, of course I am.” He rolled his eyes and then snuggled closer to me. “So, no need to hand out the condoms, Maureen.”
“Oi you.” I smacked at his arm. “I’m nothing like Maureen. Hey, is that why you’ve been off with me, because I’m like our mother?”
The Big Ohhh Page 17