Our kiss was almost feral as we used lips, tongue, and teeth and I knew that if I didn’t get inside her quickly, I’d probably come in the condom without even going near her – at least it was better than my boxers, but I tried to push that memory right to the back of my mind.
I pushed her legs further apart with my knee and then dropped to one forearm, while my other hand still braced against the pillow next to her head. Willow’s mouth searched for mine and one of her hands from my back moved to my head, pushing it, as if to eliminate every inch of space between us.
When she thrust her hips forward, I pushed inside her, not able to wait any longer. The feel of her walls wrapped around my cock was insane, it was perfect, and it was mind-blowing. I paused to take in the gorgeous sight below me and then started to pump. I tried to take it slowly and relish the electricity that pulsed through my veins, but it was too good, she felt too good and the need to let loose and chase my orgasm was too great.
“Willow,” I groaned. “You’re so fucking perfect.”
Willow wiggled beneath me and then picked the rhythm back up, and pushed as I pulled and pulled as I pushed. Everything around me disappeared and the only thing I could hear and see was the beautiful woman I was inside. She didn’t speak though, the only sound she was omitting was her breathing.
All too soon, I felt the heavy pull in the pit of my stomach and as much as I wanted to delay the gratification and to relish in her body for longer, I couldn’t.
“Fuck.”
I snapped my hips forward twice and I was done. My veins felt like cables carrying electricity around my body and every single part of me became electrified and in danger of combusting.
As my chest heaved with exertion, I flopped onto my back and laid one arm over my eyes while the other flopped onto Willow’s bare stomach that was barely even moving. In fact, I couldn’t even hear her breathing. Shit, had I killed her with my dick. Johnny had joked about it on that fatal night of the zip incident, but he wouldn’t be laughing if I actually had dicked my girlfriend to death.
I sat up sharply and looked down at her, only for my heart to sink. Don’t get me wrong, I was glad she wasn’t dead, but there was something much worse wrong. She was staring up at the ceiling chewing on her bottom lip and I instinctively knew what had been fucking awesome for me hadn’t been the best for her.
“Shit, you didn’t come, did you?”
I ran my knuckles down her face and groaned inwardly – she hadn’t even broken sweat. My heart stuttered as I thought of how selfish I’d been, but I could put it right, I knew I could.
“Let me sort that out,” I said and tried to sound playful.
I got off the bed and pulled a tissue from a box on the dressing table to wrap the condom in and once I’d thrown it into the waste bin, I turned back to Willow. She looked beautiful and desperate to satisfy her, I got back onto the bed. I dropped a kiss on her stomach and let my fingers whisper up the inside of her leg. She shivered beneath my touch which triggered the relief that seeped into my chest. I pushed out my tongue and licked a path up her leg and along her pubic bone and then moved my fingers to her pussy. She was wet, which was a good sign, but as I coated my fingers and then rubbed them around her clit I heard it, the almost imperceptible sound of a sigh and it wasn’t one of those ‘oh God, that’s so good’ sighs, it was most definitely an ‘I’m not really into this’ sigh.
I wasn’t the sort of man to give up easily, but I knew that this was one brick wall I’d be banging my head against for a while. Willow’s body was stiff, her breathing steadier than that of a corpse, and she was more absent than the sun on a bank holiday in England.
“What’s wrong?” I asked and rested my chin on her thigh.
“Nothing, I’m fine.”
Shit I was in real trouble if she was fine. I sat up and pulled her to join me.
“Willow, you need to tell me. I’m not a mind reader, but even I can see the words ‘I’m pissed off’ are in your head. So, tell me.”
She looked at me with her expressive silver eyes and what I saw made me wish I could take the words ‘so tell me’ back. She looked fucking sad and empty. If I didn’t know better, she looked like she was about to dump my arse. I had to be wrong though, because we’d been good before I’d been inside her. Everything that lead up to the sex had been fun and we’d acted like any normal couple and then-. Shit, that was when it hit me.
She hated the sex.
“Fuck.” I closed my eyes and dropped my head back and blew out an exasperated breath.
“Charlie,” she whispered and placed a warm hand on my arm. “It’s not…I just…I.”
“Willow, it’s okay,” I said as I looked down and gave her a small smile. “I get it. It wasn’t good for you and I was only thinking of myself. It was so fucking good and I got carried away.”
“And that’s fine, honestly. It’s not always going to be good is it?”
There was that damn good word again.
“That’s the problem though, isn’t it Willow,” I bit out as I pushed myself off the bed. “It’s never been good between us, has it?”
She gasped and shuffled on the bed to face me as I reached down for my boxers.
“The phone sex we had was incredible,” she cried and lowered her feet to the floor and pushed her knees together, as if in that moment I’d want to cop a look at her pussy!
My eyes widened and I stopped with my boxers halfway up my thighs.
“The phone sex,” I repeated as I pulled my boxers the rest of the way up. “Not the time in the car, not at my house on the sofa?”
“Well, no not really,” she replied with surprise. “They were hardly epic, were they? I mean there was a severed head and a broken dick that kind of spoiled things.”
Phew, at least she hadn’t mentioned the premature ejaculation on our first night. She had a point though, the best sex we’d had was the session when we weren’t even in the same fucking house, never mind room.
“And the one time we actually managed to finish without incident,” I said as I waved a hand at the crumpled duvet, “wasn’t any good for you, well go fucking me, what a damn stud.”
She quickly pushed off the bed, came to me and wrapped her slim arms around me.
“Charlie don’t be like that. You know how sexy I think you are, and how much you turn me on.”
“Yeah, I’m not too good at sealing the deal it seems, well not unless I’m about twenty fucking streets away.”
I moved away from her and reached for the rest of my clothes and silently pulled them on, full of self-pity. My ego wasn’t bruised, it was fucking annihilated and was on the ground sobbing and screaming for life support.
“You know, my dad thinks that maybe you’re too stressed about Johnny, you know worrying about him being on his own and you’re rushing to-.”
“Your dad thinks what?” I roared and took a step backward. “You told your fucking dad?”
Willow’s face crumpled into a pained grimace as she made a grab for her top which was hung on the corner of the chest of drawers.
“He kind of guessed,” she said almost in a whisper.
“How the hell do you guess that sort of thing, unless someone drops one huge bloody hint?”
“I swear Charlie, it’s not like I went to him for help. He asked why you hadn’t stayed over when you were supposed to, so I told him about Johnny and he put two and two together. He is a sex therapist; he sees things that someone with an untrained eye wouldn’t.”
I shook my head in disbelief. “Oh, like the fact that his daughter is walking around totally dissatisfied. What happened, Will, did you have to ask him for more batteries for your vibrator.”
She stopped and pulled on her knickers and glared at me. “No and don’t be so fucking coarse.”
“Really?” I asked incredulously. “That’s coarse but your dad walking around stark bollock naked is perfectly normal?”
“I knew it,” she spat. “You did lie when you said
you were okay with it.”
“In what world would anyone not be weirded out about it? Oh yeah I know, a world where a twenty-four-year-old woman tells her dad she’s fucking sexually frustrated.”
I slipped my t-shirt on, picked up my socks and pulled them on before shoving my feet into my shoes and then made my way toward the door.
“Charlie,” she pleaded. “Don’t go. I didn’t.”
I almost turned around but knew if I did her pretty face and those damn plaits would entice me to stay, but I was too angry to deal with the shitfest of my sex life at that point. I felt totally degraded and betrayed by the one person who I was beginning to think I could rely on. The one person who I was beginning to lean on, the person who I knew would always make a shitty day better.
“I’ll see you,” I managed to say before I opened the door and almost ran down the stairs.
As I got to the bottom, Ivan was walking up the hall from the kitchen.
“Hey Charlie, you’re not leaving, are you?”
“Yeah, sorry Mr. Dixon, I need to go.”
As I put my hand on the door handle, I heard Willow stomp down the stairs behind me.
“Charlie.”
“Are you two still having problems finding alone time,” Ivan said. “You know, I can help.”
As I flung the door open and pushed through it, the last thing I heard was Willow practically screaming.
“Go to hell, Ivan, you’ve ruined my life.”
Yeah well, she needed to walk a mile in my fucking shoes to know how that felt.
Skip lunch and have a nooner instead. Testosterone levels in adult males rise and fall in 24-hour cycles and tend to peak shortly before midday - if you’re both in McDonald’s having lunch with the kids, it might be a better idea to wait until you get home.
* * *
Charlie
My mood was as fucking black as the devil’s heart and I didn’t care who knew it, or who I took it out on. I was furious that my girlfriend had blabbed to her dad about our sex life and the fact that I hadn’t yet managed to get her off, oh unless it was over the phone. What the hell had possessed her? I was embarrassed enough that I hadn’t done my job properly but for her to then let that fucking little nugget slip, well I had to get out of there, and I hadn’t spoken to her since.
Okay, so I was being a little bitch about it and ignoring her calls and texts for the last twenty-four hours was pathetic and childish, but I needed to calm down.
I had my pride and a man’s sexual prowess was something that the male of the species was extremely protective of. I could have put Willow’s lack of orgasm on Sunday down to a one off, I could have put it right, made up for it, but to know that she’d already had concerns made me feel like shit.
I knew sex wasn’t everything, but it was a huge fucking chunk of what made a successful relationship, particularly when the relationship was so fresh. We should have been banging each other like rabbits, but instead we’d had a handful of unsuccessful attempts.
“What the fuck is your problem?” Johnny said as he wheeled himself into the kitchen. “You’re banging and slamming around in here is louder than a jungle stampede.”
I chose not to answer and shoved past him and reached inside a cupboard for a couple of plates.
“So, you’re not going to tell me then?”
“Nope.”
“I’m guessing it’s something to do with Willow by the look on your face since you got home last night.”
“Don’t want to discuss it and I don’t recall suggesting we partake in a game of twenty questions.”
“For fuck’s sake, are you on your period or something?” Johnny shook his head and took a glass from the draining board and filled it with water from the tap.
“Said I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Well, whatever you have or haven’t done to upset her, you need to fix it. She’s too fucking good to let go.”
“Who said I’ve done anything wrong?” I asked as he wheeled himself to the table, waiting for his dinner to be served up.
He looked at me nonplussed. “Because you’re a man, and we all know it doesn’t matter who starts the fight or whoever is in the wrong, it’s always the man who takes the blame and apologises.”
“Yeah well,” I replied and laughed emptily. “This is most definitely on her.”
I knew ultimately it was probably my fault, after all I’d been the one who lacked in the delivery of orgasms, but she should not have, never even considered, telling her damn dad about it.
“You should still apologise.”
Johnny took a sip of his water and looked at me expectantly.
“Not happening.”
My brother sighed and rolled his eyes. “You apologise for getting mad and not understanding that whatever she did was coming from a good place.”
“What if she cheated on me?” I asked as I dished up the curry I’d made.
“No way. I can’t see Willow doing that, she’s too fucking nice.”
He watched me carefully to check if there was any semblance of the truth in my words.
“I knew it,” he cried. “No way would she cheat on you, so what’s the deal?”
I slammed a plate in front of him and then crossed my arms over my chest. “If I tell you and you even twitch a lip into a smile, I’ll tip you out of that chair in the middle of town and leave you there.”
“Shit, that bad?” Johnny’s eyes were wide in shock as he looked up at me.
“Yeah,” I replied with a sigh. “That fucking bad.”
* * *
“Fucking hell,” Johnny groaned as I told him everything while we ate our homemade curry.
“I know.” I rubbed a hand over my face and let out a strangled groan. “I feel totally humiliated.”
Johnny studied me and then pushed his empty plate away. “You want my opinion?”
“Not sure I do, but I know I’m going to get it anyway, so…”
I waved a hand for him to continue.
“I think her dad has a point. I think you need some alone time, so I have a proposition.”
“Johnny if this involves you and those twins you know, the answer is, forget it.”
His brows knitted together momentarily and then his face broke into a smile of remembrance.
“Oh yeah, those two.” He gave a quick shake of the head. “No, it’s not about them, it’s about you and well, Mum, I suppose.”
“How the hell does us talking about Teresa solve my problem? I can’t think of anything better to deflate a hard on than talking about her, Willow, and sex in the same sentence. It’s fucking horrific to be honest.”
Johnny laughed and then screwed up his face. “Yep, gross. No, I was thinking you should maybe take Willow away for the night and I’ll get-.”
“No, you’re supposed to be getting rid of her, not trying to prove her reliability.”
“Let’s get her to do this one thing and then we’ll talk again about asking her to leave. It would mean you can go away for a night and I’ll have someone to shout for if I need anything.”
“You actually trust her?” I asked, totally perplexed at the idea. “And there’s also the fact she’s supposed to be looking for somewhere else to live. If she thinks we’re trusting her, she’ll never look.”
There was something about the way Johnny tightened his grip on the arms of his chair, and his gaze turned soft that made my heart sink.
“You’ve told her she can stay, haven’t you?”
Johnny lifted his chin and nodded. “She’s our mother, she needs us.”
“And what about us fucking needing her, but her never being around. You know when we were little kids and needed food and clothing, oh and heating. Have you forgotten the times we huddled together in that bed with the grimy sheets and duvet because we were so cold? Or what about when she went off on her binges without feeding us and we had to eat dry bread or shitty Ryvita because that was all there was?”
“Charlie,” he
sighed. “It was fucking years ago, so let it drop because it’s eating you up inside and it’s not healthy. Concentrate on sorting things out with Willow and I’ll sort Mum out.”
“Yeah but you won’t, you’ll let her carry on walking all over you, like she always does.”
“Yeah well,” Johnny said, pushing away from the table. “At least she can walk.”
“Johnny,” I called after him. “Don’t do that, don’t make a fucking joke about it.”
“Jokes are better than reality big brother, and if I can let that go, you can let a few fucking crackers and some skanky bedding go. Now get on the damn internet and book a night away for you and Willow, or I will, and you know that whatever I book will be above a nightclub and next door to a brothel.”
“I don’t know-.”
“Just fucking do it, Charlie.”
He then disappeared and left me alone to think about his words and to realise there was a lot of truth in what he’d said. I couldn’t let everything go with Teresa, but I could put things right with Willow. Yes, I was still angry, but most of that anger was actually pride and if I had only looked past it, I’d have known things hadn’t been perfect in the sex department, and should have done something to put it right. I should have realised that having sex with her while her whole family were downstairs wasn’t the best way to send her to the fucking stars. It didn’t matter how chilled they were about sex as a family, it wasn’t the best way to show your new girlfriend a good time. Neither was the back of a damn borrowed car and neither was the sofa of the house I shared with my brother and alcoholic mother. I’d been an idiot and didn’t deserve someone as beautiful and as good as Willow.
Mentally kicking myself in the balls, I reached for the laptop and opened it up, determined to find somewhere nice for me to wine and dine my gorgeous girlfriend and hopefully give her the night of her life.
Clenching your buttocks and your upper thigh muscles helps increase the blood flow to your entire pelvic area, creating greater lubrication and sensation. - it’s so much cheaper than joining a gym too.
The Big Ohhh Page 23