by Skye Grace
“Jacksen, I’m a big girl. I can handle Gabby and her friends, I know you want me to get to know her.”
“Of course I do,” he sighs. “I just don’t want you to feel pushed into anything. Besides, Wes and I miss you.”
She laughs and hears Wes yell into the phone, “It’s all true!”
“Okay, how about I just go for a few hours, drink some strawberry Boone’s Farm, play light as a feather, stiff as a board, and then bam! I’ll be back and ready to hang with you two.”
“You sure?” Jacksen asks, voice laden in residual worry.
“Completely.”
Aura ops for yoga pants, a big Protectors sweatshirt with a front pocket to keep the quartz, and hair in pigtails for the little ‘sleepover,’ stopping to get wine and fruit snacks on her way to Gabby and Jameson’s McMansion in Calabasas.
When she arrives, Gabby, her bestie Amanda, and Amanda’s sister Rory, both brunette’s in their early 30’s like Gabby, were already in their jammies, giggling uncontrollably and making enough Buttery Nipple Shots for a small army. Aura sucks in a breath, having just walked into a lifetime of memories she has nothing to do with, feeling totally out of place. She reaches into the front pouch and grips the crystal, reminding herself that she can and has handled everything so far, so she can handle a little girl’s night, no problem.
It turns out Gabby, Amanda, and Rory watch Girl Gang together religiously, even though Amanda lives in a different time zone now. “I wait for the west coast feed to watch with them so we can talk about it!” Amanda gushes.
“Your character has been a huge bitch this season, but I still love you. I mean her!” Aura just laughs at Rory’s comment and pours mimosas for the four of them. They play a round of ‘I’ve never’ and then Gabby begins to cackle maniacally as she pulls a Ouija board from a toy store bag.
“Really?” Amanda snarks at Gabby. “You haven’t gotten enough of this witchy stuff from watching the Protector’s week after week for how many years now?”
“You know you love it! And this one’s just a toy anyway, chill!” Gabby assures, but Aura’s not sure anything is just a toy or just made up anymore, but saddles up to the board anyway.
Gabby dims the lights and gets a few white candles going.
“Are you going to cast a circle? For protection?” Aura asks her, a little more than half serious.
“Oh Aura, I forget you know everything Protectors. Okay, but I can’t remember all of it. Will you do it?” Aura nods as she reaches out her hands and the women form a circle, palm to palm.
Aura tries to hide her grin, doing a quick version of the circle casting, but could recite a full one if needed.
“Guardians, Gods and Goddesses, please be present with us now. Bless this circle and keep us protected. No unwanted entities are welcome here. Only pure, divine beings are invited into this space. The circle is cast, so mote it be.”
“So mote it be,” the women echo before all four of them put their fingers lightly on the planchette.
“Can I go first?” Rory asks. “I mean, I want to ask it something. Do you think these spirits can give relationship advice?”
Amanda and Gabby asks her what’s wrong, and she confides that she thinks her girlfriend might be cheating on her. They coo and assure her everything is surely fine, and that she’d never do that but Aura doesn’t know what to say other than, “Let’s start with saying hello and try it out.”
They ask if there’s a spirit with them currently, and all but Aura gasp as the planchette moves seemingly of its own accord to the word hello on the board. She knows it’s more than a toy, for sure.
“Do you promise you are only here with the purest of intentions?” Aura asks the spirit, and their fingers fly to the word yes.
“Is Leigh cheating on me?” Rory blurts at the board, the planchette moving slowly, first towards yes but ultimately floats over to the word no. Rory breathes a sigh of relief.
Gabby gestures for Aura to ask a question so she whispers, “Are things going to keep going as well for me as they have been?” Almost too afraid she’ll jinx it all.
The planchette moves slowly towards yes, then closer to no, but then stops in the middle like it can’t decide. Only I can. There’s a soft tapping on a window and Aura nearly jumps out of her skin. It reminds her of the times she’s used boards like this one, realizing this is far from her first rodeo. She’d heard tapping on the windows before, and had things move around the room. She looks down on the ground for her glass, and sees it’s been moved as well. The others don’t notice anything off, and start asking the board more complicated questions, like when Amanda would move back or when Gabby would get pregnant, since she’d started her cycle today, no luck yet. The spirit appears to be spelling a particularly long answer, and the doorbell rings. They all scream, making the planchette go still.
“I’m not answering it,” Gabby hyperventilates dramatically.
Aura puts her hand on the crystal in her pocket and smiles, “It’s okay, I’ll get it.” The girls thank her and she strolls to the door casually.
“I hope you’re the pizza man!” she jokes, yelling at the door. She turns the knob and gasps.
“Oh! You’re definitely not the pizza man,” is all she can say. A substance she presumes is bile rises in her throat, and she grips the crystal tighter in her pocket.
“And you’re not Gabby,” says the woman, a gorgeous, leggy redhead wearing impossibly tall heels and the perfect black dress Aura supposes must be de la Renta.
“Are you Aura Liddell?”
She attempts to clear her throat, wanting to be anywhere but here, “Yes.”
The woman stretches out a hand and Aura can find nothing but sweetness in her smile, “So good to meet you! I’m Gabby’s friend, Yvonne.”
Out to dinner, Jameson slugs back yet another oyster shooter and asks Jacksen with a laugh, “Why are we eating these on a night the girls want nothing to do with us?”
Wes and Jacksen shake their heads, continuing to sip on their IPAs while Jameson requests a few more rounds from the server. At nearly 6’5”, the guy could really give any kitchen staff a run for their money.
His phone buzzes and he grins, “I just got a text from Gabs. It says ‘You’ll have no idea who just showed up!’ What do you guys think? A group of male strippers or what?”
“Now if that’s the case, I may wanna get my check,” Wes jokes. The phone buzzes again and Jameson’s face goes ashen.
“What? Who showed up?” Jacksen cranes his neck but can’t get a good look at his screen. He tries to listen in on Jameson but his thoughts are jumbled, set on panic mode, or rather, save-your-ass mode.
“Dude,” Jameson looks at his friend with caution, “I swear. Gabby did not invite her.”
Realization dawns, and Jacksen’s eyes seem to flash a dark emerald as his jaw sets in a firm line. Wes puts a hand on his shoulder and it just as quickly falls off as Jacksen runs out of the restaurant. Jameson throws cash on the table and they follow after him, getting him to stop mid-back parking lot.
“I don’t think you want to go over there,” Jameson says as they catch up.
“Aura’s stronger than she thinks. She can handle a run in with Yvonne,” Wes adds.
“But I don’t think you’re ready to, J, please. Don’t go over there,” Jameson pleads to no avail.
“Oh, I’m going over there,” Jacksen seethes. “If she thinks she can just waltz back in like this. She is so wrong. And now Aura probably won’t even speak to me again!”
Jacksen is so glad he managed to self-park as he throws himself into his Jeep, slamming into reverse and only stopping to let Wes into the passenger seat.
Pretty sure Jameson’s on to something, J. I don’t think you’re ready to see Yvonne, Wes offers wordlessly, Why don’t you let me just run in there, give Aura an out?
And what makes you think she’s gonna wanna come with us now? Or have anything to do with me? You know how much she’s been going through, y
ou really think she needed a run-in with the ex? She’s probably halfway to Mexico by now. I’m calling her.
He dials and she doesn’t answer.
Wes sighs, “You’re not letting me go in there, are you?”
“Not for me, Wes, no. Yvonne has to know she can’t just drop back in whenever she feels like it. And she has to hear it from me.”
“Yvonne? Oh my god!” Gabby bounds over to the grand entry, only slowing her roll as she sees her friend, remembering how betrayed she still actually feels.
Aura backs out of sight and then dashes off for the back patio, all air sufficiently strangled from her lungs now.
Yvonne wraps her thin arms around Gabby, squeezing her tightly.
“How do you know Aura Lidell? I mean, I know we used to watch-”
“She just got the lead in the Protectors movie,” Gabby interjects.
“Oh, I guess I’ve been pretty out of the loop,” Yvonne admits.
“Opposite Jacksen, playing Blaise’s end game. Aura and Jacksen are together now, Yvonne, that’s why she’s here. But I guess they don’t have internet in Paris? Or phones, for that matter?”
Yvonne clears her throat, taken aback by typically sweet Gabby’s terse tone.
“Gabs, you know this had nothing to do with you. Are you mad at me?”
Gabby slaps a hand on her hip, “I can’t say I’m not.”
Aura finds herself in fight or flight mode yet again, pulse racing as she looks around the perfectly manicured yard for any back ways out. She’s too beautiful. Next to her, I’m just some lame little kid. Some fan. She’s probably here to reclaim what’s hers. She swipes at the pity tear rolling down her cheek and searches for an escape. The privacy hedges surrounding her seem to be infinitely tall and as deep as eternity, with no graceful way off the property. Blood pools in her cheeks as she begins to accept her doom, There’s no way out.
She throws herself down on the nearest patio seat, the phantom quartz falling from her front pocket with a loud SMACK! Onto the stone. She quickly reaches out to grab it but stops short, the hair on her arms standing on end as the gossamer wings of a blue lupine butterfly flutter just above her skin. It floats above her for a while and then lands gently on the back of her hand. Aura gasps and it flies away just as quickly as it had arrived. But Aura knows. No coincidences.
I can’t run.
Not anymore, no. We can’t. The voice that she thought had officially become a thing of the past reassures her.
I need out of here, I have to get out. I can’t be here when Jacksen sees her… I can’t be here for that. I need to get-
But we’re too strong for that now. If Jacksen sees her and forgets about us, then it was never real, anyway. The only way out is through, Aura.
It’s almost as if she can feel her vibrations elevating to a higher frequency, and wonders if this could be the event. The tie that binds.
Follow my lead.
Aura does as directed for once, leaving the crystal out on the patio, chest puffing with bravado as she reenters the home. She finds herself in a conversation between Gabby and Yvonne so heated, the house’s AC had turned itself on automatically.
“You think you can just do horrible things? Cancel a wedding we worked so hard to plan? Abandon us and then waltz back in here like nothing happened?” Gabby’s little hands are in fists, and Aura places a calming hand on her shoulder. She breathes, finally.
“I feel terrible, Gabs, I just wanted to come see you. I know I should have called, I just couldn’t-” Yvonne stops to look at Aura. Aura’s veins buzz with self-assured bravery she’s never felt before. Any anger left in her body fades away, and she feels more sorry for Yvonne than anything else. She made the worst decision that anyone could make, and it’s. just. sad.
Her blood crackles as she stands firm, the two broken pieces of her being fused back together with the power of being the bigger person. The biggest person. She touches a sympathetic hand to Yvonne’s arm and it shocks the redhead to her core. Mouth agape, Yvonne wonders if Aura knows the full story. Aura smiles calmly and takes over the situation.
“Gabby, the regret is all over her face. Can we let her sit down with us, a little wine to diffuse this maybe?”
The two women stare at Aura, stunned into silence, and she takes the giant doe eyes of Gabby looking up at her as a yes. She leads them over to the couch and proceeds to get the women properly wined up.
Jacksen and Wes pull into the horseshoe-shaped drive at the same time as Jameson, the three grown men running and pushing to be first in the door. This results in all three of them flying into the middle of what miraculously appears to be a legitimate girl’s-night, complete with laughter, the clinking of glasses, and Drake on the stereo.
Jacksen’s eyes bulge as he assesses the scene. Wes and Jameson stand slack-jawed, staring at the group of women, who are acting as if everything is completely normal.
“Oh, hi guys,” Aura laughs, tucking a pigtail behind her ear. The giddiness exudes from every pore. She’s couldn’t care less that Yvonne had arrived, except maybe to be glad for it. It had been the event, the obstacle to show her all she had to do was battle the insecurities to become truly herself. The old Aura, in any form, would have run and hid from someone like Yvonne and the self-doubt she would typically cause. She knows the guys are looking at her like she’s insane, but she just smiles. Because she’s whole.
Yvonne purses her lips at the sight of the boys, face flushing with the realization of the embarrassment she should be feeling for showing up here unannounced. She is shocked enough that Jacksen’s new girlfriend is somehow cool with her being here, but the man himself is clearly anything but okay with it. Jacksen walks over to the back of the couch and leans over, whispering an apology and kissing Aura on the head, but everything about him is tense. Even those perfect pink lips of his are tight with tension. Yvonne’s gaze is cautiously lifted to meet Jacksen’s, but he’ll only look her in the forehead, not the eyes.
“Can I please speak to you outside?” he asks Yvonne’s forehead, gesturing to the foyer. She nods curtly and gets up to follow him out, while Wes grabs the nearest cocktail and downs it, already wrecked from the anxieties he hears in the heads of most of his current company.
Aura pulls Wes onto the couch with her and he hears her thoughts about everything that she’d just gone through, knowing she was laying it all out clearly for him to take in, just in case she forgets it all. The butterfly, Yvonne, the melding of the two Auras. He listens intently, then starts to ask the group about the Ouija, having heard from Aura that she felt and even heard a real spirit in the room with them. He was curious but skeptical, and the ladies tell him their account, so engrossed that they barely realize that Jameson has requested Aura’s presence with him on the back patio.
“You okay?” he asks.
“Actually, yeah,” she says, taking a deep breath of night air.
“I just want to let you know, Gabby and I never would have put you in this situation. I’m really sorry,” Jameson apologizes.
“It’s pretty interesting timing,” Aura admits, “But I know you guys would never… Don’t feel bad. Actually, I think it was good for me.”
“Seriously?” Jameson scoffs, running a giant hand through his mop of hair.
She finally looks, really looks, at Jameson and every memory of him comes flooding back to her. Her whole body flushes and she hopes the dim patio lights cover it. She lets herself remember the heat, the all-encompassing passion for each other that was suddenly gone in a flash, that weird feeling that you get when you feel heartbroken even though you didn’t know the person long enough to actually be in love. All of it. Somehow it doesn’t even hurt, because it’s in the past, and what they have now, him with Gabby and her with Jacksen, is what’s truly real.
Jameson moves closer, “Have I told you before, how sorry I am? Was? And am now, still?”
“Yeah, a minimum of 4 or 5 times.” She thinks back, “Maybe 6? And you don’t have to. I do
n’t want you to feel sorry for me, Jay. I may have been really hurt then, but look where we are now. Everything is so, so good.”
“I know, I’m sorry, I- I’m sorry I’m sorry. Damnit. This is all so, just, bizarre.”
“Our lives are incredibly bizarre, Jameson, I think we need to just get over the past. Embrace the weird, y’know? If Gabby’s okay with it, Jacksen’s okay, then we have to be okay too,” she says, and he finally nods in response.
“Embrace the weird,” he repeats like a self-help mantra. “I don’t even know how Gabby is okay with the fact that we used to see each other. Maybe because she likes you so much, I dunno. But we’ve gotta move past it, you’re right.”
Aura just grins, feeling lighter than a fizzy lifting drink as everything falls into place, “I know.”
Jacksen closes the door behind them and looks down at Yvonne’s pointy toed heels rather than her face.
“I need you to know that you can’t just come around unannounced. Gabby and Jameson are my family, and when you hurt me, you hurt them,” he says in a rush, ripping off the band-aid of his frustrations towards her.
“I-”
“And I don’t really care if they’ve forgiven you because that’s pretty much as far as that goes,” he continues, cutting her off and doing that thing where he seems to know exactly what she’s thinking. It used to always drive her insane and apparently still does. “Not that I really could have forgiven you anyway because that apology seems to have gotten lost in the mail. I guess I’ll have to blame the French Postal Service.”
“Jacksen…”
“Do you know that? That you can’t just pop in whenever? Acting like nothing happened, like the three of us didn’t have to spend days in the dark, not knowing why you left or where to, followed by hours of calling vendor after wedding vendor, having to cancel everything-”
“Yes, Jacksen, yes. I’m sorry. To them, to you. I think you know how sorry I am,” she pleads.
“I do?”
“Yes, at least I thought you did. If you haven’t forgiven me, then you’re not being fair to her.”