by Louise Bay
“Are you okay? You and Emma?”
“Yeah and you know, I know it’s the right thing, but breaking up is always difficult. We were together a long time.”
My stomach flipped over. Breaking up? I didn’t respond.
“Haven told you, right?”
“Told me what? I’ve not spoken to her for a few days.”
“Emma and I split last night. I moved out. I’m staying with Haven and Jake.” He took a bite of his sandwich while my stomach took a dive and my head started to spin. “This is really good,” he said, pointing to his snack. “You are Ashleigh Franklin? I’m in the right house?”
I tried to act normally. I pushed his shoulder and headed back to the living room. “Don’t act so surprised. I can make a sandwich. Tell me about Emma.”
“Call me thoughtless and naïve, but I’d never realized that she wanted a husband and kids.”
“You’re thoughtless and naïve.”
He grimaced.
“You told me to call you that,” I said.
“I know.” He sighed. “Do you believe it? I mean, I feel horrible.”
“I think when one person feels more than another in a relationship it’s hard to get it right on either side. It’s like you’re using the same map to get to different places. If she was honest with herself, Emma probably knew that you didn’t want the same things she did, and that she should have walked away sooner. But you could have been more sensitive too.” It was easy to empathize with Emma. We both had a level of feelings for Luke that weren’t reciprocated.
“I feel horrible.”
I felt happy, and maybe a little hopeful, which I knew was wrong. Luke and I weren’t together because he didn’t feel that way about me—it had nothing to do with Emma.
“So you’ve split?”
He nodded.
“Maybe you’ll work it out.” I was trying to see how resolved he was. Would being away from her allow him to see what he was missing?
“She’s not what I want. It’s over. So I need to find somewhere to live.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It’s the right thing, and now that it’s done I’m relieved and a little guilty. But there’s no sadness or longing.”
I understood. It was how I felt about my breakup with Richard.
“I’m so pleased you were in and not out with your boyfriend.” He sighed as his head sagged back onto the sofa. He closed his eyes. “What would I do without you?”
His words rang in my ears as I took his plate from his hand, just before he fell into an alcoholic sleep.
Didn’t he realize he hadn’t just been torturing Emma all these years, but me too?
Luke
I scanned the dimly lit hotel bar, but I couldn’t see her. Fucking hell, I knew she’d be late. Irritation prickled at my collar. I’d started to type out a text when I glanced up to see her walking toward me. She smiled at me with that wide, infectious smile she had, and I could do nothing but grin back.
My eyes wandered down her body. “Ash,” I said because I couldn’t think of anything else. She looked . . . well, beautiful. Like, model beautiful. Words stuck in my throat. Jesus, had she always been this pretty? The lights flickered off her cheekbones and lit up her face as her hair tumbled across her exposed shoulders.
“You’re looking very handsome,” she said as she fingered my bow tie. I took in her familiar scent as she came closer. I filled my lungs, wanting to inhale the way she smelled. It always calmed me. She’d been wearing the same perfume since college—it mixed with her warmth to make a scent that was bespoke to her. I’d dated a girl who had worn the same perfume, but it was different on her. It didn’t feel as if it suited her. On Ash it smelled like home. “I saw you come in. Did you think I was late?”
“You look incredible,” I managed to say, unable to concentrate on her question. I was stuttering, ruffled by the sight of her, and she was as calm and serene as ever.
She wore a black dress with an indecently low neckline, and although it went down to the floor, every now and then I got a flash of thigh. The fabric skirted across every curve, showing off her small waist and hinting at what lay beneath. “How is that dress legal?”
“Don’t start the big brother routine,” she said and rolled her eyes at me.
Fraternal was the last thing I was feeling. It felt odd to notice Ash like that—wrong in so many ways, but I wanted to kiss her exposed shoulder. Her skin looked so soft and, well, kissable.
I was going to have to get myself together. I was clearly having a worse reaction to splitting with Emma than I’d expected. I placed my hand on the small of her back and led her out of the bar toward to ballroom.
“What is this thing anyway?” she asked, glancing up at me. “And why am I here?”
“A boring awards dinner. Our firm is up for law firm of the year. We’re not going to win, but think of it as free wine and it might not seem so dull.”
“Okay. And why am I here?”
“Do you not want to be?” The thought of her being with me as some kind of chore made me wince. I wanted her to look forward to the evening as much as I was. Any evening was improved by Ash being a part of it. She was funny and clever, and she knew me better than I knew myself. How could we not have a great time together? Maybe I’d have to convince her.
“I’ll tell you at the end of the evening. I’ll give you a score if you like. And then I can tell you if it scored higher than the alternatives for the evening.” She grinned up at me.
“What alternatives?” I asked her. What would she be doing this Friday if she weren’t with me? Be with Richard, I guessed. “Were you being whisked off to Paris?”
“All right, no need to be sarcastic. I like a night in with Chinese takeout and a Ryan movie.”
“A Ryan movie?” I wasn’t sure I should ask.
“Reynolds or Gosling. Either of them would do.”
I grinned as it took me a second to tune into what she was talking about. “But not Seacrest?”
“Are you kidding? So not my type,” she replied as if I’d lost my mind.
What was her type? Movie stars with eight packs? Richard the doctor?
“But as you’ve brought it up, is Mr. Seacrest your type?” she asked. “Is that the real reason you and Emma split?”
I rolled my eyes. She may look like some kind of fantasy goddess but she was still the same old Ash, which was just fine with me—perfect even.
We stopped at the entrance to the ballroom in front of the seating plan. “Come on, we’re at table twenty-four.”
We entered the vast, soulless room, which was full of chatter. To the side, a stage ran across almost the entire length of the room, and the rest of it was full of round tables of twelve seats each. I’d been to a million of these events, and they didn’t get more interesting. At least Ash was here tonight, so I’d have more fun than usual. Somewhere along the road, lawyer Luke had become very serious. I guess the more people relied on you and looked up to you, the less fun you could have.
I made various introductions to Ash at our table. She sat to my right, and on the other side of her was a junior partner from our banking department, Isaac. I didn’t know him very well. I hoped he didn’t bore her. She thought my job was dull enough; I didn’t need to give her more evidence.
We all got seated and I leaned toward her. “Are you okay?” I asked. She seemed jumpy, nervous almost.
“Sure,” she said. She wasn’t being very convincing.
“I appreciate you coming.”
“It’s fine. I’m sure I’ll enjoy myself.”
“I’ll make sure you do,” Isaac interrupted. “What’s a beautiful girl out with this old bore for anyway?” he asked, pointing to me.
Ash laughed. “He’s not so bad. He got me out of prison a couple of years back. I owe him.”
“Somehow I find that very hard to believe,” he said, smiling at her as though he was imagining her naked. “What do you do?”
“I’m a nurse.”
“A girl in uniform? My night keeps getting better and better.” He winked at her and my irritation rose.
While Isaac was distracted by the waiter, I placed my arm on the back of her chair and leaned in close to her ear. “Do you want to swap seats?” I asked. “You can sit here if you can’t see the stage properly.”
Ash put her hand on my thigh and goose bumps radiated across my skin. Her dress was having a very bad effect on me. “He’s fine,” she said, knowing the motive behind my offer only too well. “Fun. And anyway, I can handle myself. What do you think I do when you’re not around?”
How could she think he was fine? The guy was a dick, and he wasn’t even drunk yet. “If he tries anything, you let me know.”
“Okay, dad.” She grinned and turned away to answer a question Isaac was asking of her. He wasn’t going to monopolize her all evening. I would make sure of that.
The guest to my left, a woman from finance, asked me something about the wine. I tried to be polite, but I was distracted. I wanted to talk to Ash, and I didn’t want Isaac anywhere near her.
“You think we’ll win?” the woman on my left asked.
“Not a chance. But, what is it they say? ‘It’s nice to be nominated.’”
“That’s bullshit,” she said.
I nodded.
I glanced across at Ash and Isaac. He held her hand, her palm facing up, as if he were Madam Zorba about to do a reading. She was laughing. What was he saying to her? Why was he touching her?
I was relieved when we were called to order and the evening began. At least it meant Ash’s attention was on the stage and not Isaac. The host was well-known television comic David O’Connor. I watched Ash as she sat engaged by his introduction, laughing at his jokes about how boring lawyers were.
She leaned into me. “It’s like he knows you,” she said, giggling.
Was that what she thought of me? A boring old lawyer? We had fun together, didn’t we? I knew I always had fun when I was with her, but maybe the feeling wasn’t mutual.
“I’m not that dull, am I?” I asked. To be heard over the chatter and the comedy act, I shifted my chair closer to hers. I got a waft of her familiar perfume again as I dipped my head to her ear. I reached across and moved her hair from her neck, exposing her delicate skin. Her eyes flitted to mine, and I thought I could see a blush color her cheek. I shouldn’t be touching her like that. It wasn’t something we did. I mean, we hugged and comforted each other, but we’d never touched in a way that was undeniably . . . sexual.
It felt forbidden.
She leaned away from me, and my stomach flipped at the thought I’d stepped over some line that we’d created decades before.
Ashleigh
My skin burned beneath the skim of Luke’s fingers across my neck. Had he meant to touch me like that?
It had been a bad idea, coming tonight. I needed space, but I couldn’t ever say no to him. I didn’t need to be reminded of how much he made me laugh, how I could just be me around him, and how he seemed to like it. I certainly didn’t need to be reminded about how good he looked in a tux. Some guys could just pull that off, and he was one of them. His frame was tall and broad, like something out of a Tom Ford advert—it was built to wear a tux. It should be mandatory for men like him. When I’d first seen him tonight I couldn’t help but straighten his already straight bow tie. However much I resisted, I was drawn to him.
The guy on the other side of me, Isaac, was being very attentive and I was trying to concentrate on what he was saying. He was attractive, though not as naturally handsome as Luke. I let myself enjoy his attention a little. I tried to focus on him rather than Luke, who was sitting so close to me, looking like he did, feeling like he did.
“How long have you been with Luke?” Isaac topped up my wine glass. I was already light-headed. I shouldn’t drink anymore.
I smiled. “We’re not together. We’re old friends.” He sees me as a sister, I almost said. But I didn’t feel like his sister, and he hadn’t touched me in a brotherly way.
“So you’re doing him a favor by being here. That’s nice of you. He’s a lucky guy. And a stupid one, if you’ve only ever been friends.”
“Luke isn’t stupid, but we’ve only ever been friends. And hey, it’s not such a big favor. I’m having a nice evening.”
“Well, he’s done me a huge favor, introducing me to you. I feel like the luckiest man here tonight, sitting next such a beautiful girl.”
I smiled. Isaac had a few cheesy lines, but they very obviously covered up a sweet guy. I’d dated a lot worse.
“Are you seeing anyone?” Isaac asked. I felt Luke’s hand on my thigh, as if he wanted to interrupt.
“I just broke up with my boyfriend a couple of weeks ago,” I replied. “Excuse me,” I said as I turned to Luke.
He was frowning at me as I looked at him. “You split with Richard?” he asked. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because last time I saw you, you told me you and Emma were finished, and my breakup didn’t seem very significant. I forgot.”
“Nothing that happens in your life is insignificant to me.” My stomach tilted at his words. I wished he meant them differently. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. We weren’t right.” I had barely thought about Richard since the last time I’d seen him.
“You ended it?” he asked.
“Yeah. I didn’t see any point in staying together if I knew we weren’t really suited.”
“He wasn’t the one?” His eyes fixed on mine.
I blinked then held his gaze. “No.” It was almost a whisper.
Luke’s brow creased and he looked away. “Do you think I should have ended things with Emma sooner?”
I shrugged. “Only you know that.”
“But you know me better than almost anyone,” he said, and for a moment I wished it weren’t the case. It would be so much easier if he were just my best friend’s brother.
“That may be true, but I don’t know what you want in a woman. I don’t know what holds your attention.” I was playing with fire.
His gaze drifted to my lips and then back to my eyes. I could see words start to run through his head—they had almost left his mouth when our table erupted with applause. The people we were seated with, including Isaac, were hugging each other and clapping their hands together. I glanced back to Luke, who was being slapped on the back by a guy on the table next to ours. They must have won.
Champagne corks started popping and Isaac thrust a drink into my hand. He clinked my glass. “This turned out to be a great evening. Maybe you’re my lucky charm.” he said. “I shouldn’t let you out of my sight.”
I smiled at him. “So, what happens now? People just get drunk? Or should I say drunker?”
“That and some dancing. Tell me you’ll dance with me when the band starts?” he asked.
“I’m not much of a dancer. We’ll see.”
“Sounds like a promise to me,” he replied. “Excuse me for a moment, I’ve just seen someone I need to say hello to.” Isaac left the table.
I felt a hand on my upper arm, and I turned toward Luke. “You seem to have made quite the impression on him,” he said, his gaze sweeping between my eyes and my lips. I didn’t know how to respond. “But don’t dance with him,” he said softly.
It felt heavy between us, as if there were words all around us that we weren’t saying. I needed air. I needed us back. I raised my eyebrows. “You don’t want me to dance? Afraid I’ll embarrass you?” I asked, playfully elbowing him in the waist, trying to dispel the tension between us, surrounding us, encircling us.
The band started up with a slow, soulful song that seemed slightly at odds with the party atmosphere in the room.
“No, it’s not that. I just . . . I just don’t want you to. If you’re going to dance with anyone, it should be me.”
I tried to keep my smile even. “What do you mean ‘should’?”
�
�I don’t know.” He held out his hand, and I took it tentatively. “Come on,” he said as he led me across the room to the dance floor.
I’d never danced with Luke. Come to think of it, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d slow danced with a guy. High school, probably. I wasn’t sure I could remember how. Thankfully, the dance floor quickly became busy, and Luke guided us through the couples to the far end, away from the tables.
“So, how do we do this?” he asked as we stood facing each other.
I laughed, relaxing at the fact that his thoughts were so similar to my own. “I really have no idea. We can go and sit back down if you like.”
He bent to hear me, and his hands circled my waist. Sparks went off across my body. I reached up, pushing my palms up his chest to his shoulders.
“No,” he said. “I want to dance with you.”
He watched my face for reaction but I looked away. I couldn’t let him see that I wanted to dance with him too. His hands slid up my back and he pressed me against him. My heart was racing; I wasn’t used to this amount of physical contact with him. My whole body was touching his as we swayed in time to the music.
Luke bent his head to my ear so our cheeks were touching. “Are we doing this right?” he asked.
I didn’t know how to respond.
“It feels right,” he said.
It felt too good. I shouldn’t have let this situation get so out of hand. I had had far too much to drink and now I was here, in Luke’s arms, tricking myself into thinking what I was feeling was mutual. I should stop, push him away. I should go home. At the end of this dance, that’s what I would do. I had spent the last few months trying to close off my heart to Luke, and doing a pretty good job, and now here he was opening up old wounds.
“You look beautiful tonight. I mean, bombshell beautiful,” he whispered.
I should make him stop saying these things. He was feeding my addiction to him.
“What are you thinking?” he asked when I didn’t respond. His hands roamed down to my waist then slid up my back again.
“I think I like dancing with you more than I should,” I replied. His lips brushed my neck, but in the mayhem of sensations assaulting me, maybe I imagined it.