by S. R. Watson
“Sorry. I didn’t know anyone was in here.” She inches back until she’s back in the bathroom. She closes the door, leaving a small gap. “Diesel can you hand me my clothes from the bag of stuff I bought yesterday?” When I step forward, she smiles so I guess she figured which brother was the correct one.
“We’ll be arriving in Phoenix in less than an hour,” I inform her. I would suggest that she delay her flight to attend the party tonight, but it’s time I get back to my playboy ways. Keep it moving. Besides this is my last night to hang out with my brother. I need to get him out of his own head. He needs to be focused when he goes back to New York tomorrow.
“Okay. I’ll be ready,” she promises. Sevyn and I head back into the living area. The guys agree to just have a quick meeting in here since Melissa is getting dressed in the bathroom anyway. I have two new songs that I’ve been working on that are almost done. We discuss which song Ivy will sing with me and which song Anderson will join me on. It’s still our set so we don’t want them to overshadow our entire performance. Two songs for our collaboration is enough. We are able to wrap up our meeting rather quickly so we spend the rest of the time talking about the party tonight. Keyser and Gable are more excited than the rest of us. I can admit that we haven’t exactly been living the life of rockers since we’ve gotten on the road. They’re ready to let their hair down, figuratively speaking, and frankly so am I.
Our bus arrives at a gorgeous mansion and I’m in awe. The exterior is so grand and breathtaking. We pull around the circular drive before the bus comes to a stop. Reckless Ambition’s bus is already here. I snap pictures of this place as soon as my feet touch the ground. I send them to Brooke via text. I miss her like crazy, but she hasn’t been messaging me back. I hope she responds soon because I’m starting to worry.
“Look at this place,” Lily says looping her arm through mine.
“I know, right?”
“Life of the rich and famous, baby,” Keyser shouts. “Let’s do this. Bring on the women.” We all giggle. Gable mockingly slaps him in the back of the head.
We all head into this palace, except Diesel and Melissa. Another car pulls up and he’s handing her bags to the driver. So apparently she’s leaving. I can’t say that I’m sad to see her go. It doesn’t change anything between Diesel and I, but at least I don’t have to witness their connection in contrast to our lack thereof.
Lily grabs my hand. “Come on. Our first stop is the pool, woman.”
“In January?” It’s in the sixties here in Phoenix, but still. Not exactly pool weather. The wind is kind of snippy too.
“Indoor pool, crazy. Xander already scoped it out when he looked over the floor plan. And it’s heated,” she informs me. I guess I could use some pool time. Sounds fun. We find ourselves in one of the bedrooms upstairs to change. I swear it’s the size of a small house. The closet is the size of a living room. What I wouldn’t give to own a place like this…shit, just to live in a place like this.
I pull out the red bikini Brooke picked for me when we went shopping before I left. I change in the closet surrounded by mirrors. There is no way I can miss all the ass I have hanging from these string bikini bottoms. I tug at them, but it’s no use. The triangle top gives me a little more coverage, but not a ton. I feel like I could be one of those women in the music videos with all my goods on display. I’m contemplating changing into the one piece I snuck into my suitcase. It’s black and has its own skirt attached. Lily walks into the closet wearing a red bikini with black paisleys.
“Look at us. We match,” she squeals. “I have to say, yours is smoking hot. Wait until Diesel sees you.” Wait…What? I was about to tell her I was thinking about changing, but she caught me off guard with that statement.
“Who said anything about Diesel? Who care what he thinks?” I retort.
“Girl, please. You care, and we will be talking about just how much by the pool. You’re not getting out of our girl talk this time.” I tug at my bottoms and look in the mirror with a frown. “Oh, come on. I see you’re looking and having seconds thoughts. You look great so no changing.” She pulls me toward the door before I can object. When we get to the indoor pool, everyone else is already there—both our guys and Reckless Ambition. I guess we took too long admiring that to die for room. I walk closely behind Lily, trying not to pay attention to the stares I’m getting.
“Damn, Lourdes. You’ve come a long way babe. That fucking bikini is—” Keyser looks over at Xander and decides not to finish that remark. He misses the scowl that Diesel is giving him.
“Doesn’t she look fab?” Lily twirls me around and I could strangle her. I’m trying deflect the attention away from me. I catch the eye roll of Ivy and it kind of makes the attention worth it—just a little. I sit in the nearest chaise lounge chair, which just happens to be next to Diesel. Lily takes the one on the other side of me. Too late to change places with her without making a scene. Music starts playing overhead and I’m happy for the reprieve. In an instant, the roofing retracts, leaving just glass to surround us. It’s then that I realize that this is a solarium. The sunlight filters in and now you can see the lush gardens outside as well as a second, outdoor, pool. This place is magnificent.
A couple of wait staff enter with beer and cocktails. The pre-party has officially started. I luck out and get one of the few mojitos they have available. It’s one of my favorites. Cool and refreshing, perfect for that quick buzz. I lean back in my chair and sip on my drink. I can feel Diesel’s eyes on me, but I try to ignore it. It really is unfair that one look from him can get my blood boiling. But just because Melissa is gone now, does not mean I’m up for going back to being his play toy.
“I think I like this new bold you,” Diesel says where only I can hear. I do look over at him now and he takes a sip of some kind of brown liquor in a glass.
“What are you talking about, Diesel?”
“Red is my favorite color, you know?” He takes another sip of his drink. He’s already toying with me.
“Yeah. Mine too. I wonder what Melissa’s favorite color is.” I can play his game. One point for me.
“Black. Her favorite color is black. There’s something about red, though. Sort of like when the color red is waved in front of a bull,” he surmises.
“What’s your point, Diesel?” He’s talking in circles and I don’t know his angle.
“You walk in here with all that ass barely covered by that string bikini and it’s taking the will of a saint not to do something about it.” I look around, but nobody is listening to us.
“Don’t worry. I have enough will for the both of us. I’m sure those bed sheets aren’t even cold yet from you and Melissa, yet here you are making sexual advances on me. You’re such a manwhore.” There I said it. He’s been with Ivy, he’s made moves to be with me, he had Melissa, and now he’s trying to circle back to me. We haven’t even been on the road a month yet. And my tingling girly parts are stupid as shit, so I choose to ignore her horny ass.
“Mmm-hmm, maybe,” he admits. “But an honest one. Everybody I get involved with knows the score up front.” He winks at me and finishes his drink. He signals the waiter over for a refill. I finish my drink off so that I can get another as well.
“We all have needs, Lourdes. I’m just honest about mine.” He pulls his shirt over his head and I try not to melt in a puddle from his exposed abs that are so fucking taut and lickable. I swear I drink my second mojito in three swallows. Things are heating up. I can feel my skin flush. I know better, yet my body aches for him. I’m under his scrutiny. He watches as I reposition myself on the chair.
“Yeah, you’re pretty honest about it. We all are witness to your whore parade,” I say trying to verbally remind myself why my pussy shouldn’t be on fire right now.
“I didn’t fuck Melissa, Lourdes,” he volunteers.
“I didn’t ask if you did,” I quip.
He narrows his eyes. “I know. I just needed to set the record straight. Not that it ma
tters. Just want to put that out there. Never assume you know shit.” He smirks. He’s right. It doesn’t matter so why does my heart feel a little relieved? I raise my empty glass for another drink, but he waves the guy off.
“No,” he says firmly. What the fuck?
“No, what? You can’t cut me off,” I whisper hiss. He motions the guy over and I think he’s about to tell him to get me my drink.
“Two waters, please.” He smiles, but I’m not amused. The guy nods and hand him the two waters. “You need to drink water in between drinks and slow the hell down. We have a long night ahead with the party. At this rate, you’ll be drunk off your ass before it begins.”
“Not your problem now, is it?” I snap. How dare he try to cut me off!
“I beg to differ, sweetheart, since I was the one cleaning vomit off you and taking care of you all night the last time you over indulged.” He stares at me, daring me to try to dispute that fact. He has a point, but damn if it doesn’t still piss me off. I fold my arms and he laughs so loudly, we get some stares.
“Shut it. Okay fine. I’ll drink the damn water. Give it to me.” Our fingers brush as he passes it to me and it awakens the fucking tingles in my vagina that were lying dormant after he cut my alcohol off, fooling me into believing I had gotten that shit under control.
“Come on. No pouting babe. You know I’m only looking out for you.” Hearing him call me babe is a mind fuck. I know that he’s no good for me. I really need to move the fuck on. He’s going to crush me. He’s admitted over and over again, both through words and actions, that he is not interested in having anything with anybody. Just fucking. Yet he calls me baby or babe and my stupid as shit heart skips a beat, like it’s oblivious to the facts.
I chug the water because I will not react to his endearment. Every time he uses babe, baby, sweetheart, or any other word in his manwhore repertoire, I need to replace it with fuck buddy. I need to be realistic and not be sucked in by his charms.
“I’m going to rehearse with the guys. Remember what I said. Take it easy, babe,” he says, getting up from his chair. Fuck buddy I say to myself. I wave and watch the sexiness of his back as he retreats. He says a few words to Xander and they round up the rest of the band members. They all head back into the main part of the house so that just leaves Lily and myself. I know what this means. Girl talk time. They’re barely out the door before she scoots her chair closer to mine.
“Okay. Spill, woman,” she says. I laugh because I called it. I knew she was bursting at the seams to find out about Diesel and me.
“What do you want me to tell you?” I tease her. She looks ready to stab me.
“Tell me all about you and Diesel. I know there is history between the two of you. You admitted as much, but then you left me hanging. I didn’t push because you had a few mopey days and I guessed it was because of the addition of ass he brought onto the bus, and Ivy.”
“Pretty accurate,” I admit. I didn’t plan on going into great detail about our history, but Brooke has been missing in action and I could use a friend to talk to. It sucks to hold all this in. “You first have to promise that you will never share any of this with Xander,” I warn.
“I would never betray your trust like that Lourdes. Whatever you tell me will stay between us,” she promises.
I believe her and it’s comforting that I can trust her. I start from the beginning when I first met Diesel and how I wanted to stay away from him because I knew he was a manwhore. I tell her about Brooke, the rape, me falling for Diesel, our relationship, and finally the deceit. I tell her how my world was shattered to learn he had a twin. One that I had spent time with, but not sexually. I explain that he has redeemed that part of our past, but I wouldn’t divulge what Diesel shared with me when he, his brother, and I had that talk. That’s not my story to tell. All she needs to know is that they had a reason for the switch and that I have forgiven them.
“Holy shit, girl.” She shakes her head. “Had no idea you were dealing with so much.” She gets up and hugs me and tears threaten to fall.
“Yeah. It actually feels good to let that all out. So you can see why I’ve been so emotional lately. I know I need to move on, but a part of me is still holding on to the time we had when things were good. He let me in once and now that is not even a possibility.”
“I know it’s hard. Thing is, you can’t keep holding on by yourself. If it was just sex, that’s one thing. You have real feelings for him still, so unless those feelings are mutual, you’re setting yourself up to be crushed.”
She’s not telling me anything I don’t already know. I nod in agreement. “Come on. Let’s go plan what we’re wearing tonight. You just need to meet your next distraction. Things will get better, but it’s just going to take time. Even more time because you’re seeing him every day on this tour.”
“I know. Yeah come on. I have a nice buzz and I don’t want to ruin it with thoughts of Diesel.”
We head to the bus first to get some clothes to choose from. We’re surprised to see Sevyn sitting in the living area flipping through channels. I assumed he went to rehearsal with the guys. He looks up at us when we board the bus and gives us a sexy smile.
“Hello, distraction,” Lily says too faintly for him to hear. I laugh my ass off as we head to the closet in the bedroom.
“Uh no. You’re crazy!” Okay I kind of omitted the freaky part of the afternoon I spent with Sevyn. Ending result being he rejected my ass. “From what I overheard from the guys, he’s leaving tomorrow anyway.”
“I guess it would have been pretty fucked up anyway. Regardless of Diesel’s stance of no longer wanting a relationship, I think he would flip his shit if you banged his brother. You don’t want to come between two brothers. Pay me no mind,” she giggles. “I have lapses in judgment sometimes.”
“So do I, apparently.” I nod in agreement. If she only knew the truth behind that statement. Hopefully the day at the movie theater will stay between Sevyn and I.
We ended up not going back into the house before the party. Lily told me about her life back home, the classes that she’s taking this semester, and her career goals. Thank God you don’t get much work the first couple weeks of online classes, aside from reading, because neither of us has cracked open a book. After we get back on the road, we need to remedy that. The book I’m working on and my online classes can be the distraction, hopefully.
Lily turns on some music to get us in party mode and it works to rid some of the weight from our earlier heavy conversation. I find myself dancing to the beat. I’m not sure of how to dress for something like this, but I’m going with classy and not the obvious slutty choice. I’m sure there will be a few thirsty ones, but this a celebrity party. The desperation to be seen should be at a minimal, right?
“Ooh, that one,” Lily says eyeing the dress I have in my hand. I was thinking the same thing. It’s perfect and it just happens to be red. It’s a Herve Leger cross chest strap bandage dress. It forms a keyhole between my breasts so they are slightly on display without being overly so. I don’t have many expensive purchases, but this is one of them. It makes me feel sexy and that is what I’ll need tonight, being surrounded by all the gorgeous women who can buy their beauty.
“I agree. I’ve never really had an occasion to wear her out,” I say giving my dress an identity. “I’m going to pair it with my nude stilettos.”
“I wish I owned a dress like that,” Lily admits. “I’m going go with my black sequin strapless tube dress with silver pumps.” She holds the dress up and I nod my head in agreement.
“That will be super hot on you.”
“Thanks. I’m going for sexy not slutty.” She grins. My sentiments exactly.
“Same,” I agree.
I use the shower first after laying my dress on the bed. When I come out, I get the shock of my life. I let out a deafening scream and then the tears start. I can’t help it. Brooke is standing in the center of the bedroom and from the looks of it, she’s dressed for
the party. She’s wearing an electric blue bandage dress and looks fabulous.
“I can’t believe you’re here,” I say giving her the tightest hug ever. Lily stands off to the side, just smiling.
“Oh my gosh, how rude of me? Brooke you remember Lily, right?”
“Of course. We had a chance to get reacquainted while you were in the shower, too.” Lily walks up to me and hugs me too before going to take her shower. I turn my attention back to Brooke.
“What are you doing here? How did you know where we’d be?” I fire so many questions at her. “Why didn’t you return my calls? I was worried about you!”
“Slow down, chica,” she giggles. “One question at a time. Diesel called me. He said he got my number from your phone. He knew you were missing me and wanted me to join you guys for a weekend. He paid and arranged everything. He sent a car to pick me up from the airport.”
That is seriously the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. Diesel went to great lengths to set up a surprise visit from my best friend and I couldn’t be happier. Shit like this makes it even more difficult to move on from him.
“I’ll have to thank him later. Gosh, I still can’t believe he set all of this up.”
“Yeah, I couldn’t either. I figured you guys must have made amends. That boy sincerely cares for you,” she says. I fill her in quickly about Ivy and Melissa even though he told me he didn’t have sex with her. “Regardless of his bed partners, you still have his heart Lourdes. I can tell that just from my conversations with him during our planning to get me here. Not saying that you two need to be together or that he’s going to change his manwhoring. I’m just saying, at the root of it all, he’s definitely still in love with you. Denial is a powerful thing.” She winks.
“You found time to talk to him. Why didn’t you return my messages?” I ask, pinching her.