I am so glad you like the poems. As to sourcing them, the source is in me. Whenever I read something that affects me it goes into me and adds to the whirling morass of emotion and feeling that I'm made up of. That's true of the effect of music on me too... Lines come drifting back to me when I'm feeling in particular ways, and it may be only a line or two, but that's enough to take me back there. With the poem I sent you yesterday the line that came to me in the morning before I wrote to you was "To a green thought in a green shade" because I was feeling all springy.. I knew that it was an Andrew Marvell poem and it didn't take me long to find it in my shelves. I only quoted a couple of stanzas from this poem to you. I have so much in me that I'd like to share with you....you have the effect of stirring me so much that all these feelings and associations are very intense and that's so wonderful!!
As to the Wanda vs Chariette question. If I were you I would definitely opt for the package...It's a package you're not likely to encounter too often and you'll get double the passion!
Thinking of you as always (with very strong Spring associations of coupling, petticoats, layers, positions, fecundity, fruit, every sort of passion...)
Chariette (and Wanda as ever)
Dear Chariot
I hope you're feeling better and that you haven't succumbed entirely to the dreaded lurgy. You are definitely not getting enough rest by the sound of things. I wish I could be with you to kiss you better (no matter how long that took...) (And you could look like the grim reaper and still be attractive to me)
Despite my sensitivity and delicacy of feelings I appear to have the constitution of a horse. I can't remember the last time I was sick. The only aches I have are to do with the aching longing I have for you...
Where are you now? How I long to look on your divine face again. I think you know already that I often indulge myself in the luxury of thinking about meeting up with you and how it will unfold. This is where competition between Chariette and Wanda becomes quite intense. Chariette is just swept away with the sublime tenderness of the thought of the first contact with you being the touch of your hands and being able to gently stroke your cheek. Wanda is blown away with just about every carnal thought of you you could imagine and being overcome with choice as to where to begin. Both are in a high state of receptivity... I think it will be Chariette who starts, Wanda will then take over, and Chariette will finish.. (Have you noticed that there now appears to be 3 voices?!! Who's the third one then?? This is starting to shape up like a complete orgy!)
Thinking of you very tenderly and very carnally and hoping you get well again soon.
Chariette and Wanda
Dear Chariot
I'm feeling so happy today I could burst with it...all tied up with the excitement of the prospect of you, your lovely phone calls this week and the sun has been out all day. Every hyperbole that was ever coined I feel for you just now (and more!). I'm trying not to let myself get too excited but it's a barren struggle I'm afraid. You are just coursing through my veins with every heart beat.
I bought the most fantastic book at a second hand bookshop in Brunswick Street last week (the book shop is fabulous too - organised by an obviously passionate bibliophile). The book is called 'Palgrave's Golden Treasury of Songs & Lyrics' (you are my golden treasury too...) and it's an anthology of poems from the Elizabethan period through to the Romantics (the 19th C) and all organised into thematic sections by Palgrave who was a Professor of Poetry at Oxford in the mid 1900's with exquisite taste for beautiful works. It's an absolute treasure trove of delight to me (just as you are...) so steel yourself: you're likely to be inundated over coming correspondence.
I was dipping into some poems by Keats and Shelley and Wordsworth on the way home last night. Many of their poems reproduced here reflected the Victorians' preoccupation with death (they were probably justifiably preoccupied because it was such a common occurrence given the living and working conditions of that time). I read one that I shouldn't have called 'On an Infant Dying as soon as Born' and had to quietly wipe away tears. It took me back to my own darling baby stillborn daughter and the terrible grief and utter desolation of coming home with full breasts and empty arms... God what a roller coaster of emotion I'm feeling just now...Need to move on to something else.
I have really come to appreciate the healing powers of the sun since I moved here. When it appears in Victoria, you can see spirits lifting everywhere - this is the first time it's been out again since I mentioned it to you some time ago! I just want to sit and feel the warmth of it on my back. I'll love to feel the warmth of your hands (and other things!) on my back.... I'm so looking forward to being with you! I'm as excited as a 6 year old waiting for Christmas. I feel like I'm about to plunge off a cliff hang gliding for the first time: a heady mixture of extreme trepidation and extreme exhilaration. I am sure you will make me soar to the heavens though. I want you to "kiss her until she be wearied out" (her being me of course - well all three of us!) - and I want to do the same to you.
"See the mountains kiss high heaven,
And the waves clasp one another;
And the sunlight clasps the earth,
And the moonbeams kiss the sea -
What are all these kissings worth,
If thou kiss not me?"
Just longing for you...
Dear Chariot
What a long weekend it's been and long long nights. Never have I been so willing to wish my life away so fervently as just now, with the prospect of being with you so close on the horizon.
I spent Sunday afternoon in at Federation Square at the art gallery there. There's a special exhibition of Charles Condor on there at the moment. He was part of the Heidelberg school but much more of an impressionist than the others of that school like Roberts. He painted many seaside scenes of beaches in Melbourne I grew up on and he captured the lovely ephemeral misty light of early summer mornings there. What I didn't know about him though was that he spent quite a bit of time in Paris as well, leading, by all accounts, a very debauched existence (he died of syphilitic madness in his early 40s) with the likes of Toulouse Lautrec and others at the Moulin Rouge. His Parisian works were part of the Art Nouveau movement (which is a favourite of mine) and he painted exquisite intricate designs and miniatures and grand opulent pieces as well on silk. There was also an example there of the train of a woman's silk evening dress that he had hand painted - apparently while it was on her.. how decadent is that! Many of the displayed works were on loan from private collections particularly from Barry Humphries which I thought was an interesting connection.
When I came out of the gallery the bells of St Paul's started to peel, which was just lovely and there were strains of a busker playing the bagpipes outside Flinders Street station which was an added joy to me. I love the pipes (I know it's definitely an acquired taste..) but there are so many associations to the history of the Scottish race in every note and that is what I hear when I listen to them. I'm going to arrange a piper to play at my son's wedding.
Tonight I'm going to a seminar to see one of my favourite crime authors - Ian Rankin - who is Scottish. He'll be speaking at a bookstore in the city, so that will be a bit of a thrill.
As you can see I'm trying to fill my hours with otherness as a salve to my current sorry state (of all consuming desire for you). I feel like an incendiary bomb just now. I think I could easily sell myself off to terrorists as a weapon of mass destruction! Wanda is giving me absolute hell....
Longing to look into your beautiful eyes again and feel you holding me in your arms.
Chariette
Dear Chariot
Don't tell me there's more than one of you because I would be just overwhelmed! Already am with you!
I was musing on your smile this morning coming in on the train, and when I think of your face and your 'being' I experience a physical reaction in my body (not only the blood rushing kind we both know about...) but my upper body becomes kind of conscious to me. There's a strange thing that happen
s to my upper arms and chest that tell my brain that they are there and they are given over to you. I can't describe the feeling..a kind of strange flood of experience...need to go to my poetry books to try to capture this. I'm not doing a good job of it. But what I'm trying to tell you is that you have such an effect on me you heighten my consciousness of things normally unconscious if you know what I mean. It's a kind of physical manifestation of my emotional longingness for you that sweeps through me uncontrollably. It's as though my body is living the feeling of 'Oooohhh' when I think of you.
I adore your smile. It's so warm and sexy. And when combined with your eyes...well, you are one irresistible package.
After bragging to you about never getting sick, I've come down with a cold too. I'm really annoyed with myself because I want to be lovely and luscious for you when you're here. Hopefully I'll be over it by then (because it's such a LONG time before you'll be here!!) I so want to please you... I can't wait to have your hands all over me and mine all over you (and that's just the entree).
I don't know how I'm going to get any work done in the next two weeks. Not only is Wanda giving me a hard time but so is my Presbyterian conscience... But I'm beginning to think I must also have French genes in me because they are egging me on to complete and total abandon.
I'm mad with desire for you. Oh come quickly October 22nd! (This will no doubt be happening to all of us on that day...)
Chariette and Wanda
Dear Chariot
I’ve been remembering other times (before ‘all this’ started) where I have been in the same place as you, looking at you, quietly lusting for you, and loving the experience of being in your proximity and feasting my eyes on you clandestinely. Oh how I longed for you in those days! An intent and brooding passion it was then, and now it's light and beautiful and out there.
Your phone calls are a delight to me...and your voice just fills me with feeling and desire:
"And like music on the waters
Is thy sweet voice to me:.......
So the spirit bows before thee
To listen and adore thee;
With a full but soft emotion,
Like the swell of Summer's ocean."
This was from Byron. I'm getting to really like him and his philosophy of life: "the great object of life is Sensation - to feel that we exist". This is what you have made me feel.
Only two weekends to go... and then it will be the night of the 22nd and "the night was made for loving, and the day will come too soon"...
You will be my chariot, carrying me away on the wings of desire... (that was from me!) Wanda too has great plans for you and I'm sure she will not take long in making her presence felt.
Chariette
Dear Chariot
I have completely lost the will to work. My heart is thumping in my breast at the thought of you so near.
I am in a bit of a dilemma. My vanity is pushing me to wearing contact lenses tomorrow but I can't read with them..so how will I read you all the poetry I want to and look beautiful at the same time??? Oh the questions life throws up!!
I'm so full of desire for you.
I am also full of expectant joy at the thought of being with you. I can't get the delicious thought out of my mind of holding your beautiful head in my hands as you kiss my thighs. (And there is a lot of thigh to kiss so brace yourself...)
How will I ever get through the day? And the night? So longing to see you and embracing you with all of my passionate being...
Chariette
Chapter 2:
Swimming on a Tide of Rapture
“Licence my roving hands, and let them go
Before, behind, between, above, below.”
Dear Chariot
I had a truly joyous evening with you last night. You have been a wonderful Christopher Columbus for me. I don’t think I could have chosen anyone finer for this historic step in my life. I must apologise for being so greedy but a girl just can’t help herself dealing with such divine goods…
The sex was great (I want you again right now …). And so was lying in your arms and kissing and stroking you. It’s your hands that I love the most…. I haven’t done all the things I want to with you…have hardly begun really. I loved your ‘form’ (I think I may have told you that at least a thousand times last night.) I hope mine was satisfactory to you…
And thank you for the beautiful champagne (and I loved that thing you did with the champagne and the kissing!!)
Happy happy happy Chariette
Dear Chariot
I am definitely having an influence on you - you are becoming quite poetic! You can quiver me anytime, in fact, I long to be quivered by you again (and again and again and again!) (Hope you're counting - I know you're good at maths!)
It will be lovely to look into your beautiful eyes again. You have no idea how they used to affect me when we worked together those years ago. When you turned your eyes on me it was as though you looked into my soul. I had to look away for fear of exposing myself to you. I was so full of desire for you then I'm ashamed to admit it. Now that I have the chance to hold your gaze it's such a divine experience. I have never been so overwhelmingly attracted to someone as I am to you (and now that you know what a romantic little creature I am, I hope you comprehend the depth of that compliment). You have a very charismatic aura about you which I find just magnetic and irresistible. I have wanted to touch you since I first saw you and it was such torture to be in your presence and to have to restrain myself. I went through such agonies of desire for you then!
And with regard to the moistness factor - well, there is a direct correlation between this and your ability to arouse me... there's nothing I'm wishing for more just now than to become quite dehydrated at some stage this week...
'I've oft been told by learned friars
That wishing and the crime are one,
And Heaven punishes desires
As much as if the deed were done.
If wishing damns us, you and I
Are damned to all our heart's content;
Come, then, at least we may enjoy
Some pleasure for our punishment!'
Chariette
Dear Chariot
I didn't understand completely what you were telling me in your (very welcome) email...please expand for me...
Are you saying you feel you need to be restrained with me? Or are you commenting that you think I need to be more restrained with you? ... Or are you saying you would really like to be less restrained? .... Or..or..or (Sorry! - Can't help myself! This is what reading poetry does to you.) I hope you will reply (when you get the chance)! I am very interested in what you think (it's not all just lust contrary to opinion...) And I need to know if I am displeasing you so that I will stop.
I think you may have noticed, that in regard to my personal communication with you, I have thrown restraint completely to the wind and am swimming on a tide of rapture. Let me assure you it is the most wonderful experience (for me at least), but if it is making you uncomfortable I will stop and talk about the weather.
It has been very cold here today...
Thank you for your lovely phone call again tonight. I am feeling quite spoiled! I think you have the sexiest voice and the most kissable mouth on the planet. Most kissable other things too...
Chariette
Dear Chariot
I hope all is going well for you..... the discussions, meetings and talk. I think of you so much I must be like your guardian angel! Still trying to cope with the all-consuming longing for you (and failing!)
"Come to me in my dreams, and then
By day I shall be well again.
For then the night will more than pay
The hopeless longing of the day."
Chariette
Dear Chariot
Coming in on the train this morning I was reviewing a book called 'Bioelectromagnetism' and it occurred to me that this describes perfectly the phenomenon of attraction I feel for you - all the eleme
nts are there - fervent biological desires, pulses that are quite electric and of course, the uncontrollable force of your personal magnetism. Now can you see the effect you have on me that I can even read you into something like this??!! I need to find a way to 'splendour-proof' myself from you and all my pleas to God in this regard have so far fallen on deaf ears. I fear it is quite a hopeless endeavour.
I think you are such a divine creature. I would like to kiss you on the crease of the inside of your elbow and run my tongue along the crease of your groin. (Oh God...however am I going to get through the day....????) I could just lap you up like a cat with a full bowl of cream. I just purrr at the thought of your touch. I want to wallow in sensual play with you to our hearts' content.
A Long Distance Love Affair Page 4