A Long Distance Love Affair

by Mary-Ellen McLean

  "My whole soul revolves and my cup runs over."

  Chariette

  Dear Chariot

  Thank you for your lovely phone call last night. I appreciate you risking limbs past all those ferocious dogs to contact me. It so lifts my spirits when you call (although I don't think they could go any higher!)

  When it comes to you, you've probably noticed that I am completely unable to wind down...I'm wishing fervently I could kiss your beautiful mouth just now and run my fingers across your cheeks - I so love to touch your face and look into your eyes and smile at you!

  I have the family coming again this weekend. It's just so lovely having a toddler in the house. We are all his willing and adoring slaves.

  I too am your willing and adoring slave... I wish I could be swimming with you and your arm to be circling my waist.

  Chariette

  Dear Chariot

  I imagine the email you erased was something along the lines of my emails making other parts of you rise... what a lovely thought that is! And how I would like to take advantage of the effect of this...

  What I was thinking last night when I was out to dinner with some people is how I would love it if you were to take my nipple gently between your teeth and run your tongue over it. Oh God I tremor at the delicious thought of that... My mouth lusts for parts of you too...

  I've got to stop this I'm becoming quite pornographic.

  Chariette

  Dear Adored One

  I see you have been having wild storms up there in Brisbane. I used to love those storms. You know how the air becomes electric and all-enveloping and exciting and disturbing and full of portent...well that's exactly the effect you have on me. So now whenever you experience a thunderstorm up there you will have a sense of what I'm going through!! I need you to earth me...

  I've been reading a lot of Byron lately and what a genius he was! A lot of his poems have background notes which show that many of them were written on the spur of the moment in response to some event or some thought. The lyricism of them is just astounding and for it all to come to him so quickly is hard to grasp. Shakespeare was like that as well. It's truly a gift. Here's a lovely one for you from Byron:

  "Oh! might I kiss those eyes of fire,

  A million scarce would quench desire:

  Still would I steep my lips in bliss,

  And dwell an age on every kiss:

  Nor then my soul should sated be:

  Still would I kiss and cling to thee:

  Nought should my kiss from thine dissever;

  Still would we kiss and kiss for ever;

  E'en though the number did exceed

  The yellow harvest's countless seed.

  To part would be a vain endeavour:

  Could I desist? - ah !- never - never!"

  He knows just how I feel...so full of kisses for you.

  Chariette

  Dear Chariot

  It was so wonderful to hear from you last night. I've woken up early and can't get back to sleep because you're on my mind (which is wishing you were in my body...). It was such a lovely phone call and you were 'in the zone' as far as intimate communication goes! Thank you for all you said to me!

  I am quite bowled over by you. I just have to think of you for a second and I feel a smile welling up inside me. I think it must show too, because everyone is saying how well and happy I look. I am just infused with you. You delight me so. I adore every part of you. You arouse me in every imaginable way. And the most wonderful thing is that you've unleashed me! I know it's a bit like a volcano at times (and I'm sorry for you about that). But I feel so safe with you and feel I can let all my inner passions just come out with you. They have been hidden away for so long...it's just such a wonderful amazing release. And the sexual passion you arouse in me is just beyond description (although I enjoy trying to describe it for you...). I have never experienced anything like this before!

  I find you so sexy. I just can't resist you. However this chemistry thing works, your chemistry has found a perfect equilibrium with mine. Everything just seems to fit together perfectly. All the electrons and positrons just slide into place with you. And oh what a happy coincidence this is! Needless to say I'm looking forward to our next 'tryst' with an ardour and fervour you couldn't imagine. I think you're so wonderful. You please me in every possible regard.

  You are truly my divine one! I embrace you with my whole being.

  Chariette

  Dear Chariot

  I have been trying hard not to think of you, but it's pretty impossible really. You are like the heartbeat of me - not fully in my consciousness all the time, but central to me, incessantly and uncontrollably THERE. When I do linger over you (usually at night when I first go to bed, I just lie there and let you waft right through me and it's so lovely...) you just infuse me with so much passion and longing. On Saturday night I was driving home about 9.00pm and I saw the most glorious full moon just rising and I had an unbelievable surge of longing for you. I was wishing that you too were looking at the moon and that you knew that I was too and that I was thinking of you.

  I would so love to be stroking you and telling you how beautiful I think you are. I would just love to be making love to you now (and for the rest of the night). There's so much I'd love to do with your beautiful body...

  Thinking of you dear Chariot and wishing you well mio babbino caro...

  Chariette

  My passion

  It was so lovely to hear from you today! I was imagining you in your casual clothes, your beautiful naked legs and lovely muscular calves. Your strong lovely feet...and all with a tan!

  God the heart's beating overtime...(and other things are happening too!) I would love to be frolicking in the water with you...wrapping my legs around your waist and my arms around your neck...kissing your wet mouth...diving underwater between your legs...entwining our legs together..rolling around clasped together. I think I must have been a dolphin in a former life. You remind me of an antelope especially when you stand on the bed over me...very sure footed and very physical and very desirable. (You can see what your phone call has done to me... it's made me full of dots!)

  I'm feeling very passionately desirous of you at the moment if you haven't noticed already.

  'At first, when I knew you, 'twas only flirtation,

  The touch of a lip and the flash of an eye;

  But 'tis different now - 'tis desperation!

  I worship before you,

  I curse and adore you,

  And without you I'd die.'

  Your Chariette

  Dear Chariot

  Thank you for your lovely email! So good to hear from you! You’re always so lovely and encouraging to me and put up with all my excesses. It’s just as well because a girl can’t help but be excessive dealing with such delights as you.

  I have been reading a lot of Byron (I think I may have told you this already), reading more since I told you. He’s actually extremely witty and a lot of his work takes the mickey out of other poets of the time. He can be quite biting. He was particularly cutting about Coleridge and Wordsworth because he thought they had sold out politically and thought of Wordsworth in particular that his verse was meaningless, passionless drivel. He has a very clever conciseness with his observations of life and relationships as well. Of a married couple he says that they were “Wishing each other, not divorced, but dead.” (I loved the humour of that). And of one young woman trying to resist his charms he describes her reactions to him as:

  “And whispering ‘I will ne’er consent’- consented.”

  (Sounds like me with you I’m much ashamed to say...) But the use of that dash is just so clever!

  I would love to be whispering with you right now and then consenting....How I love to consent with you. In fact I would probably be taking the lead in the consenting business, undoing your shirt and your belt and every other fastening apparatus to reveal the naked splendour of you. And then to take my joy of you. How my hands love
to connect with you. It gives me untold pleasure to stroke you. And my eyes love to drink you in. I think of your eyes a great deal. They mesmerise me. I just can’t stop wanting you. I have such “une tendre” for you. It’s probably because, like Byron,

  “I have spent betimes

  My heart in passion and my head on rhymes.”

  Chariette

  Dear Chariot

  I was drunk with desire for you last night after your phone call and then accessing your lovely email. Your explanation of sexual tension was quite inspired and sent me over the edge. I feel so honoured with your contact and interest in me. Honoured's not quite the right word, it's much more complex than this. It makes me just throb with you and fills me with desire to please you. I want to please you in both physical and metaphysical ways.

  I really mean it when I say I adore you. Your body and your physicality and your physical being and your lovely manliness just fill me to the brim. I am hopelessly magnetized by you. You bring all my passions to the surface and make me feel awash with them. I want to be able to 'pay you back' for these lovely experiences you inspire in me and this is what I'm trying to do in my email contact with you. If we were together just now I would also repay you in adoring touch and kissing and stroking and looking. But the really lovely thing is that we don't have to be physically together for me to feel just swept away with you and that's just so amazing!! But I must admit I do love to make love to you, but that's just icing on the cake if you know what I mean... But I must admit, your holding my hand on our first meeting all those months ago meant more to me than anything in the world... And your phone calls and your generous contact with me are in the same league...

  You are my complete passion and my inspiration.

  I hope you have recovered from my last email...!! I'm off now to buy the oil in delicious anticipation of our next encounter whenever that might be. When you're off shopping today for your shirts, look at the buttons and think of me undoing them in a state of wanton, abandoned desire and complete lust for you!!

  Chariette

  Dear Divine One

  I have thrown resistance completely to the wind with you which I think you will have gathered by now and how glad I am of it. In fact it was never in the picture...

  With regard to pace, I am so dying for you I would like to be blown away in a passionate storm as the first move, then after a (short) rest, I would like to really take my time over you, really explore you with my hands and mouth and tongue and lips. I want to leave my kisses all over you and drink you in with my mouth and savour the delicious touch of your naked flesh with my fingertips. There's not an inch of you I want to leave untouched. I marvel at your beautiful body and the lovely effect it has on me. I am longing to entwine my fingers in yours and feel the warmth of your lovely square strong palms.

  It is thinking about this and the exciting expectation of it all that thrills me with you too.

  And I would very much like you to rub me all over with oil - I can assure you I would be extremely responsive to that. It would make me full of gesture and posture and demeanour and suggestion.... To feel your hands sliding over my breasts and between my legs is such a divine thought. Then I would like you to rub 'you' up and down the length of my oiled spine and stroke my neck with 'yourself' and touch my ear. Then I would love you to enter me from behind (this is what I wanted to say to you on the phone). My hips would arch up to meet your movements and I would love to feel your hands clasping my waist and drawing me to you. And all of this lovely and slowly...

  Oh how I wish you were here....

  Chariette

  My most beautiful and favourite ‘et al’

  I am glad you are still speaking to me after recent excesses...it’s your phone calls that stir my passions so much I just can’t help myself.

  I’ve got the oil....and am interested also in the ‘other directions’ you mention, but I know if I were to ask you to elaborate you would tell me that I will ‘just have to wait...” So I guess I’ll just have to rely on my already overworked imagination. I have a great deal of fun with you that way... I so love to undress you both physically and in mind. I find that extremely exciting. I love you to undress me too. I’d like you to take off my shoes then take my ankle in your lovely hands and stretch up my leg so that you can kiss the back of my thighs...

  When are you off to South America? I haven’t got far in finding some good Spanish words for you. I’ve been too pressed at work to do anything the last few weeks but I’ll try to get onto it soon. (I’d like to get onto other things as well..one particular position just haunts me...)

  Thank you for your lovely email and beautiful phone call tonight and for reassuring me that I had nothing to worry about. You had better not give me too much licence here mind you as I have a very fertile imagination, and very fertile desires....

  You just thrill me and make me feel so alive! I love to talk with you and play with you. I appreciate the time you give me.

  Hasta la vista, mi vida!

  Chariette

  Dear Chariot

  I thought I had better get in early tonight so as not to incur your wrath!

  That was fun last night being in the system together.

  I love this communication with you. Your phone calls are wonderful. They make me feel so plainly happy in the simplest sense of the word-pure unadulterated happiness if you know what I mean. And your laughter is lovely, and you say nice things to me. I still don’t feel quite as at ease with you on the phone as I do in my emails. In my emails, ‘at ease’ doesn’t even make it on the radar I feel so relaxed and comfortable with you. I guess it’s just that I can muse and reflect in emails and I’ve always been a quiet musing and reflecting type.

  When we met up in Melbourne for the first time, you said that you thought I was ‘intriguing’....I wonder what you meant by this...

  I still feel full of awe for you and still feel stunned with surprise at your interest in me and this makes me feel a bit tense and throbbing on the phone. But at the same time I feel completely at ease and totally abandoned with you sexually and physically and feel I could say anything to you and really take my delight of you with no worries at all. So there’s a bit of a paradox happening there. I guess when you call me the first feelings tend to dominate and I probably sound a bit nervous and incoherent. This is because I am so taken with you, my whole being feels just enveloped by you. The way I seem to cope with this nervousness is for my sexual alter ego to emerge and ‘run the show’ and I can hide behind that and feel more at ease. But I want you to understand that this alter ego is just a mask for the real me and that the real me is deeply sensitive, terribly romantic and very moved by life and the people in my life. It’s this person I’d really like you to get to know if I can get her to relax a bit and make her presence felt more. This is the person who fell for you on first sight and has been just so swept away with you.

  I know that this explanation is pretty convoluted, and reminds me of Byron asking Coleridge to ‘please explain his explanation’, but I’m hoping it will go some way to addressing the question of intrigue. But I would still like to know what you meant....

  The discovery of your divine body and of your deep sexual passions have only recently come to light for me and were not the drivers behind my early reactions for you, but were such a wonderful, divine, exciting, thrilling bonus.

  And now that I come to think of these things I’m afraid I’ve completely lost control again....I would love to be sitting on you just now, looking down into your beautiful face (I so love your face), our arms extended and joined in a hand clasp with fingers intertwined and me moving onto you, really loving the feel of you filling me, and then slowly moving on you in ways to extend the delicious intimacy of it, until you can’t control yourself a moment longer...

  Your Divine-ness

  I have been thinking of you. This activity is so much a part of my life now it’s equivalent to me saying ‘I have been breathing’.

  I have
very strong memories of you at meetings when we worked at the same place. Lots of lovely images of you flood back to me from those times – you walking into the room carrying your jacket and your case – and my heart pounding with pleasure at seeing you. And the deliciousness of spending the next hour and a half listening to the sexy tones of your voice, secretly taking you in – every look, movement, gestures – I know the many different looks on your face so well you would be surprised!