by Ali Vali
Moving Desi into the room, the team gently transferred her onto the hospital bed. Harry spent twenty minutes getting her leg into the traction position Desi needed to help with the healing of the fracture. David took the time to talk to the forlorn appearing Desi bidding her goodbye and good luck. Once Desi was comfortable, Harry dismissed everyone allowing her some peace.
"How long do I have to be here?" asked Desi. She was having a hard time looking Harry in the eye now, so she looked instead to the warmed blanket the nurses had brought in to cover her.
"We need the bone to begin knitting, then we'll discuss your release. So sit tight because you're going to be here for at least a week if not a little longer. I know you're tired, Desi, but do you want to tell me what happened? Who did this to you?" She watched as Desi twisted her fingers into the bedding with a defeated look now that they were alone.
"I really don't want to get into that with you. Not that I don't appreciate your help but this really isn't your concern. This is my problem. I'm just sorry you got dragged into the situation because of rotten luck. You have your life and don't need my complications messing you up," answered Desi in a sharper tone than she intended.
"Desi, I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to know. You aren't a complication to me, you never were. I thought you were my friend. The reason I'm asking is there was a police officer waiting for me when I got out of surgery tonight, and he had some pretty disturbing things to say about what happened. My offer's genuine. I want to help you if that's what you want," Harry finished with a sigh. Shouldn't she be the one getting angry? After all it was Desi who had walked out without explanations or reasons. But the urge to touch Desi was so great, she had to sit on her hands to keep from reaching out.
"If you know already, why ask me?"
"Because you were always the one preaching that there are always two sides to every story." Harry scrubbed her face with her hands, trying to fight off the fatigue she was battling. "I'm not trying to pry into your life, I'm just trying to help you."
"Why would you want to help me?" Desi's head came up for the first time since being placed in the room expecting to see pity and rejection in Harry's face. The compassion she found was surprising.
"Because I care about you, time doesn't kill that, or at least it hasn't for me. I won't lie and tell you I understand why."
"Why what?" She knew the answer to what Harry had said, but as much as it scared her, it was time to provide an explanation that was too long over due.
"Why you walked out of my life? Why you never returned any of my phone calls or never came to the door when I was home from school and came over to visit?" The memories of all that pain came flooding back and Harry had to stop talking to get her emotions back in check. "Did it only take a few weeks to forget how I felt about you?"
"Do you think so little of me to think I did all those things to hurt you? That I could just toss you aside and forget you?" Desi's voice projected a strength she didn't feel, but she couldn't turn back now. "Everything I did, I did because I cared about you. I did it all because I loved you!"
"Because you cared about me? Because you loved me? For the longest time I was in hell. I lost you for no reason, and I had to face that you didn't want me in your life with no explanation. Maybe it was the thought of living a lifestyle your family and friends wouldn't understand. I don't know, only you have the answers and they can remain with you if that's what you want."
Harry had to use all of her willpower not to sit on the bed and take Desi in her arms when her words obviously hurt and Desi dropped her head again. Funny how the feelings she had spent so long trying to bury could spring to life with so little effort. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to dump all of that on you especially now. It's just been a really long day, and you were a really big surprise."
"Do you have someone in your life now?" The fear of knowing the answers to all her questions that had added up in the time they'd been apart won out, and Desi's tears pooled in her eyes again at her own attempt to change the subject. With nervous fingers, she went back to twisting the blanket.
Harry laughed but the act had nothing to do with humor. "No, Kenneth and Tony pull me out of my shell every so often but there isn't anyone I'm seeing. It might have been a good thing for you to walk away from me. I can put someone's bones back together no matter what the damage, but I suck at relationships. Even when I've really tried, something always got in the way. I work, I teach and that's good enough for me." Harry put her hands in her pockets and tried to hide the surprise she felt at the unexpected question.
The truth was after what had happened with Desi, she was always waiting for whoever she was seeing to walk out. The pain of loss wasn't so great if you didn't put your heart at risk.
The defeated tone of the answer made Desi's head whip up. "But you were the most loving person I've ever known. You deserve someone who makes you happy, someone who makes all this work you do count for something."
"My work does count for something. I don't need a little woman patting me on the head at the end of the day to tell me otherwise. I've changed from the person you knew a million years ago. That Harry doesn't exist anymore." Harry's voice still carried a little heat, making Desi drop her eyes again and shrink a little into the bed.
In an instant Harry backed down not wanting to scare her. "Enough about me and my empty life for tonight. Think about my offer and we'll talk about it in the morning. Ring for Mitzy if you need anything. I'll be back around eleven, but someone can reach me if you need me before then. I have two surgeries in the morning so I'll be up after that."
"You don't have to bother just for me, Harry."
"The surgeries are here, so it's no bother. Charity doesn't pay the bills, the torn rotator cuffs from the tennis set here do. Here are my cell phone and beeper numbers if you need to talk to me directly." She handed over a card and fought back a smile when Desi pressed it to her chest. "Have a good night, Desi."
Harry walked out of the room with a quick stride before her emotions got the best of her. She passed the nurses' station without a word, trying desperately to repair the carefully constructed wall around her heart that had been rocked to their foundation at seeing Desi again. "Do I have anyone special in my life? What a joke." The closing of the elevator doors swallowed the comment as Harry headed out of the building.
Riding the elevator down to the first floor Harry realized her car was still downtown at Charity. "Crap, this day just keeps on giving doesn't it?" Walking out the main entrance she thought maybe a jog downtown would calm her down after the emotional roller coaster she had been on. Seeing the woman who had broken her heart was one thing, but knowing she picked some abusive prick over her was quite something else.
"Going my way, handsome?" asked a singsong voice from the car parked at the corner.
"I don't know, what do you have to offer?" asked Harry smiling genuinely for the first time in what seemed hours.
"A fried oyster poboy and a ride back to your house," offered Kenneth. "My fabulous spouse decided to make one of your favorites even though he's been slaving in the kitchen all day long. Must mean he really loves you to go to those extremes. It'd be dangerous to your health to turn him down."
"I need to pick up my car first, buddy."
"No problem, Tony got the thrill of driving your girlfriend home. We gave her a quart of oil and put her to bed all safe and sound." With all her excuses out of the way, Kenneth waved her toward the passenger seat.
She got in and fell back into the soft leather with an exhausted sounding sigh. A fatigue like she hadn't felt since she was a freshman at LSU fell over her. "It's going to be okay, Harry, just have faith." Kenneth told her soothingly as he started toward home.
Her two friends spent the rest of the evening trying to cheer her up, and offering advice on how to handle the situation. Noticing she had fallen asleep on their couch half way through one of Tony's takes on the situation, they decided to leave her there for the night instead of waking
her and sending her home.
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"She picked Byron Simoneaux over Harry? What in the hell kind of choice is that? I tell you, Kenny, I thought that girl was one of the good ones back then. It's a crying shame she turned out to be such a bitch. Christ, Harry would have handed her the world on a plate, what was she thinking?" asked Tony as he jammed another glass into the dishwasher.
After hearing what had happened, the more and more aggravated Tony became as the evening wore on. It was making him sick to think of Harry back in that dark hole Desi had dug for her.
"Honey, we don't know all the facts so maybe you shouldn't hate her right off."
The way Tony was holding the glass in his hand made Kenneth think it was about to fly in the direction of his head. His partner was much shorter in stature but someone to be reckoned with when something fired his temper. "Where exactly have you been for the last, oh say seventeen or eighteen years, lover?"
"What's that supposed to mean?" Kenneth was still eyeing the glass warily.
"Have you forgotten all those nights we heard her crying herself to sleep? Have all those futile trips to that little shotgun house when we were home for the weekend slipped your mind? She tried forever only to be turned away by her father no less, since Miss Desiree didn't have the balls to do it herself." With each item ticked off the list Tony's voice got lower as his anger built.
"I haven't forgotten any of it, love, and I saw how quickly the same pit swallowed her up when she saw Desi today. What I'm trying to say is, maybe this time around Harry will find some resolution with the past." Kenneth moved closer and placed the glass in the dishwasher before pulling Tony into his arms. "You've given me all the happiness I could hope to have in one lifetime and I want the same for Harry."
"Even after all this time, I still don't understand."
"It isn't our job to understand, baby, it's just our job to be there when and if this falls apart. I tried warning her but I saw the expression on her face when she left that exam room on her way to surgery." Kenneth kissed the top of Tony's head and sighed. "Whatever hold Desiree had over her then is just as strong as ever."
"I could've told you that. No one moons over a woman this long for no reason. The one thing that would've made it worthwhile was if the girl was worth all the pain Harry's endured. The way Desi handled the situation proves she wasn't, but you're right, it's not our place to say so. Harry has to find that out for herself and we'll be here to pick up the pieces when she does."
Kenneth's embrace tightened at Tony's soft side. "That's my little trooper.
"It's not about being a good friend, Kenny, it's about being a realist."
"What do you mean?"
He looked up at Kenneth shaking his blond hair out of his eyes before turning in the direction of the sofa and saw the top of their friend's head. "It means that the first time Harry had her heart broken she was eighteen and there was the promise of the rest of her life to get over it. With time she built a life she's comfortable with, but if Desi pulls the same crap again I don't know if she'll be able to do that this time around." He rested his head on Kenneth's chest and tried not to think morbid thoughts. "I'm just worried about her and what could happen if Harry loses hope."
"You don't think…"
"That she'll do harm to herself?" He pulled away a little and gazed up at the handsome face. "Not really. Harry has too much respect for life. That's what makes her a brilliant surgeon. The other part of that though, is how compassionate she is, and that stems from hope. I don't want to see her ability to deal with her patients diminished in any way because something inside her shuts down."
"That just means we'll have to be more diligent in looking out for her."
Tony nodded. "We will be because I refuse to let anything bad happen to her. Aside from you, Harry is the most noble and honorable person I know. That's why I've never been able to understand what happened."
*****
"I don't understand it, guys, she won't return my calls or answer the letters I've sent. The phone is out of the question now, since every time I dial her number I wake her father up. Clyde works three jobs and that's not fair to him. Two weeks ago we were making plans for our future, now she won't even talk to me. What the hell happened?" asked Harry. She felt was like she'd been kicked in the chest.
"Maybe this is her way of telling you she doesn't want to see you anymore, Harry. We get to go home in two weeks, so why don't you wait until then to try again? No matter what happens, buddy, Tony and I'll be here for you." Kenneth told her as he held his crying friend. He couldn't fathom what Desi was up to and he wondered if she realizedhow much it was hurting Harry. Over Harry's shoulder he watched as Tony cried along with her. It was hellish to watch their friend go through this pain and know there was nothing they could do.
Back in New Orleans, Desi was also making it a habit of crying herself to sleep. After Harry had gone home that last night, her father had confronted her about what he had seen. The choice he'd offered had been getting rid of Harry or being thrown out and disowned, which would mean never seeing her sister again. After his ultimatum, Clyde slapped her across the room to show the seriousness of his words.
"No daughter of mine is going to be some queer. I'll beat it out of you if that's what it takes. If that's what you intend on doing girl get out now. I want nothing to do with you. Just remember, if she's what you want, you can forget about ever seeing Rachel again. We'll both be dead to you," railed Clyde as he slapped her to the floor again.
Not having the courage to leave her family, Desi chose the only alternative she could live with, and hoped that it would make her father proud of her. She married Byron and tried to settle into the life of a married woman. For sixteen years Desi enjoyed watching her sister grow and soar, and tried to substitute that for the love missing in her own life.
She had stayed long after the forced commitment, knowing there was no place left for her to run. After what she had done, Desi was convinced Harry had moved on with her life and there would no longer be room in it for her. When it was late enough, and Byron was sleeping she could admit it wasn't what, but who was missing in her life that was ripping holes in her soul.
*****
"Dr. Basantes, could you answer some questions for my family and me?" asked the elderly lady in the waiting room.
They had already had their post operation consultation but were still fuzzy about what to expect from the hip replacement surgery the older woman's husband had just undergone. The six residents and three nurses with the rolling cart of charts waited while Harry sat in the bright atrium and answered all of their questions.
As hard as the doctor was on her students, she was just as gentle with her patients and their families. Harry was regarded as one of the most compassionate doctors in the hospital when it came to her bedside manner. It was one of the things she had learned from her father in the years she followed him through the wards.
"It takes no extra effort to be nice, Harry, remember that when you have patients of your own. These people are scared and are looking to you for answers. Don't ever let me hear that you blew anyone off because you didn't feel like talking or answering questions. If you do, you'll need a surgeon when I'm done with you," her father had told her.
Finished with the Hebert family, Harry headed up to the wards to do rounds with her staff. One of the good things about being an instructor at the medical school was, even in private practice, the students assigned to her tagged along. Some of the patients were overwhelmed when that many white coats congregated around their bed, until Harry explained why they were there.
Pulling Desi's chart out of the pile and reading how her night went, Harry dismissed them and headed toward the cafeteria. Deciding instead on one of the local burger places within walking distance of the hospital, Harry picked up lunch for both Desi and herself before heading up to see her.
"I come bearing gifts since I see you'
re not into hospital food," Harry teased when she stepped in. Desi was sitting up in the bed staring out of the window appearing sad. A hospital tray sat ignored next to the bed. With the rays of light streaming into the room, the red highlights in Desi's hair were accentuated, and her face had that youthful appearance Harry remembered.
"My savior. You were always that, Harry, weren't you?" As she asked the question, Desi couldn't help the tears that spilled out. She had been sitting there all morning going over the choices she had made and what they had cost her.
"I can be again, if you let me," said Harry as she gave into her inner most desires and sat on the bed next to Desi.
"It might be too late for that. Look at me," replied Desi pointing to her leg. "You don't need some useless woman in your life, Dr. Basantes."
"You can choose to believe whatever you want about me, but don't think of yourself that way. If you do, he wins, and hasn't Byron taken enough from you already?" Desi lowered her head at the question and wouldn't answer.
Thinking Desi needed time, Harry changed the subject and asked about Desi's family. It was nice to hear that Rachel had become a hairdresser and was now working at one of the more posh establishments in town. Desi's father had died five years before of lung cancer, so besides Rachel, Byron was technically the only family she had left.
"Do you want me to call Rachel and tell her where you are?" asked Harry.
"Don't bother tall, rich and good looking," Rachel screamed from the door.
She had cancelled all her appointments for the day after getting the call from her sister that morning. Rachel had driven to the hospital with a smile on her face after she heard who the dashing surgeon was who had been on call when Desi was brought to the hospital. With any luck Harry wasn't hooked up with some skinny uptown bitch who would have to be taken out of the picture.
"Squirt, look at you. You look great. Is it true? Do redheads have more fun?" asked Harry as she rose from the bed to greet Desi's sister. The hair was a definite change from the brunette locks she remembered.