“Because he’s in jail, Mom,” Alex answered. “He’s not supposed to leave his cell.”
“It’s not like he hasn’t already.”
“He tried to kill himself. I couldn’t leave him in there to die.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about and you know it.”
“I’m not talking about Christmas. There’s nothing to say about it.”
Except for the fact that Kameron had let Nuallan leave his cell and had insisted the guy spend Christmas with him, Zach, and a whole bunch of other people. Clea was so curious to know why and what had happened. It was obvious Kameron didn’t think Nuallan was dangerous, or he’d never have let the man close to Zach again, but if he didn’t, then why was Nuallan still spending all of his time in his cell?
Kameron would never answer an enforcer’s questions, but as his PA, Clea would be able to get answers. Was that a good enough reason to accept the job, though?
It wouldn’t be the only reason, of course. Clea wouldn’t mind spending more time with the pack. He had become an enforcer to have a good reason to leave his tribe, to see more of the world. He didn’t particularly enjoy fighting, but he was a Nix, so he didn’t really have to. He was with his team so they could have someone handy in case they needed healing or transportation. He could be replaced easily, even though he’d miss his team members. He could still see them, of course, but he wouldn’t spend nearly as much time with them anymore.
He’d get to spend more time with Christian, though, which was exactly what he wanted. He’d have to organize Kameron’s public life, but he thought he could do it. Probably. He could give it a try, and if it didn’t work, he could probably move to pack security, like Christian had. They’d be together either way, and it was a good thing. And Clea might be able to convince Kameron to let Nuallan out, or at least to find out why he was still in his cell when it was obvious to everyone that he wouldn’t hurt a fly even if the fly attacked him.
“How is he?” he asked.
Alex turned toward Clea. “Nuallan?”
“Yes.”
“He’s fine. Healed.”
Clea was sure Nuallan had healed completely physically, but it didn’t mean he was healed mentally. He had to have had a good reason to try to kill himself. It wasn’t his business, though. It was Nuallan’s, and maybe Alex’s. It was also Dallas’, and from the little Clea knew about him, he knew the doc would do whatever he had to do to help Nuallan. It was his job, and he cared about his patient and about all the pack members.
Alex obviously didn’t want to talk about it anymore, so Clea looked down at his plate. The roasted meat and potatoes looked good, even though he’d already eaten, and he speared a piece of meat as he listened to the conversations going on around him.
Christian’s mom was asking Iggy how long he thought he’d wait until he decided to have kids, and Clea pressed his lips together to avoid laughing. Mothers were all the same, really. He wasn’t looking forward to Christian meeting his, but at least she wouldn’t try to measure Christian’s hips to see if they were wide enough to give her grandkids.
Thank God for small mercies.
“Can we talk about it again in a few years, Mom?” Iggy whined. “Wait, make that ten years.”
“But I’ll be too old to be a good grandmother then,” Christian’s mom protested.
“Please. You’re only sixty-six. It’s young enough to have great-grandkids, even if you get the first grandkids in ten years. Besides, Christian is still older than me.”
Clea swallowed the piece of meat he’d been chewing and looked at Christian’s mother. He really didn’t like the way this conversation was going.
“Clea, what do you think about having children?” she asked.
Yeah, Clea really didn’t like it.
* * * *
Christian ushered Clea out of the house as soon as dinner was over. Clea looked relieved, so Christian knew he’d done the right thing. He knew his family was better taken in small doses for those not used to it, and dinner with all of them hadn’t been a small dose, especially not after Iggy had turned the spotlight to Clea.
Clea had looked completely lost, and Christian loved Zane for taking pity on them and steering the conversation away from kids, mating, and everything that might make Clea run away. Iggy obviously didn’t deserve the guy.
“That was...” Clea started, but he looked like he didn’t know how to finish.
“I know. You did well. My mom likes you.”
“I don’t want to imagine what would have happened if she hadn’t.”
“Trust me, you’d have known.”
“Yeah, well, I hope you’re ready for next week, because my mom is worse.”
“I don’t think that’s possible.”
Clea arched a brow. “You don’t. You know how your mom wants grandkids? Well, mine wants them too, but I don’t have brothers or sisters, so I’m the only one who can give them to her. That’s a lot of pressure.”
“I can imagine that.”
Clea shook his head. “No, you can’t. Look, I didn’t tell her about you until today because I thought you didn’t want me. You know what she was doing? Arranging a bonding ceremony for me. To a woman. A woman she chose because her hips are wide enough for childbirth.”
Christian wasn’t even sure where to start. “Okay, wait. Arranged bonding?”
Clea shrugged. “Yeah. My mom’s parents arranged her bonding to my father. They were lucky because they fell in love. Arranged bondings are common in our tribe. They usually take place around the early to mid-twenties for most tribe members. I’m a bit older. I guess my mom decided to give me more time.”
Christian didn’t know what to think about that. “So your mother had already chosen a woman for you to bond with?”
“Yep.”
“But what about us?”
“I told her about you, so the arrangement was canceled.”
“Just like that?”
“Yes.”
“It doesn’t make sense.”
Clea smiled. “It does. The arranged bondings are dissolved if one of the bonded finds their true mate.”
“It’s crazy, though. What about eventual kids? What if someone doesn’t want to bond, or doesn’t want to bond with a particular person?”
“No one is actually forced to bond.”
“You make it sound like you were being forced.”
“Not really. I didn’t even know my mom was organizing this until about a week ago, and I didn’t think it was this serious already. I’d have told her about you sooner if I’d known. But anyway, even if I hadn’t found you, I wouldn’t have agreed to bond to someone I don’t love. I left the tribe because I don’t really feel like I belong there, you know? They’re very traditional, and some of the younger people are too, but I’m not. Neither is Sei.”
Christian nodded. He could understand being traditional. His own colony had been that way. Men could only mate with women, preferably white, although Alpha Dell hadn’t been as adamant about that as about the sex of the mates. Boys became part of colony’s security unless they had special skills that would help the colony survive. Girls stayed home with their parents until they mated, then they went to live with their mate and had kids.
It had always felt tight to Christian, but he hadn’t done anything about it. He probably would have, eventually, but he was young enough that Alpha Dell hadn’t considered him for mating yet.
“Come on, I’ll walk you home,” he said. He wanted to have Clea to himself for a little longer.
Clea smiled and took Christian’s hand, and Christian pulled him toward the forest. The paths were clear of snow, so it was easy to walk around. The forest was silent except for the sound of animals, or maybe shifters. There was no way Christian could tell.
“Thanks,” he told Clea as they walked.
“For what?”
“For meeting my family, even though we’re not exactly together yet.”
“We’re not?”
There was a slight trembling in Clea’s voice, and Christian wondered why it was there.
“Not yet, I guess. We haven’t talked about it, and we’ve really just kissed on one occasion.”
“What do you call this, then?” Clea asked, raising their joined hands between them.
“A step forward.”
“What do we have to do for you to consider us as being together? We’re mates. I thought it was automatic.”
“I thought you might want to keep some distance for a while, you know, in case I changed my mind.”
Clea stopped walking. “Are you going to?”
“No.” Christian was sure of it. There was no way he was walking away from Clea. No matter how long it took him to get used to being with a man, and he didn’t think it would take long now that they were in a relationship, Christian wasn’t leaving Clea.
“So it means we’re together.”
“I guess.”
Clea rolled his eyes. “I’m not even sure what we’re talking about. What’s the problem?”
Christian pressed close, looping his arms around Clea’s waist. “There are no problems,” he whispered against Clea’s lips. Then he kissed his mate, and it felt like coming home.
Why had he fought this so much? There was no awkwardness, at least not when it came to kissing Clea. Christian was still in doubt when he thought about having actual sex with Clea, but he didn’t think it would be a problem. Maybe a bit awkward in the beginning, but sex was sex, and Clea was his mate.
Suddenly, Christian wanted nothing more than to get Clea into a bed and have his wicked way with him. “We should go back to your room,” he said, his mouth dry at the idea.
“What do you have in mind?”
“Mmm, you, me, your bed. Probably lube too if you’re up to it.”
“I’m always up for stuff that involves lube. You’re the one who needs to be sure.”
“I think I am.”
“You think?”
“I can’t be sure everything will go smoothly right away. You’ll probably have to take charge or something, at least in part.”
Clea cocked his head. “Haven’t you ever had anal sex with a woman?”
Christian shrugged. “No. Like I told you, I didn’t have sex with that many women, and normal sex was a lot easier. I know how it works in theory, but that’s not the problem.”
“What’s the problem then?”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
Clea tightened his arms around Christian’s neck and kissed him again. “You won’t hurt me.”
“I’ll try not to.”
“You won’t. I’ll tell you if I’m uncomfortable, okay?”
Christian nodded. As nervous as he was, he’d have to get over it sooner or later. He wanted Clea. He wanted to make love to him and bond. Anything else would be secondary.
He kissed Clea, burying his fingers into Clea’s short hair and tugging on it. Clea whimpered, and yeah, Christian needed to get him in bed, like, yesterday. “We should go.”
Clea nodded. “Yeah, we should.”
It was hard to step away from Clea, but Christian knew they were about to get a lot closer. It was a great incentive.
They walked quickly back to the enforcers’ building. Christian wished they could go somewhere more private, without so many ears around, but the only alternative would be his own room in his parents’ house, and that was a no-go. He should probably ask Kameron about getting his own place, big enough that Clea would be able to move in with him once he was ready.
That sounded great. “Hey, do you want to move in with me?”
Clea stopped walking again. “With you? In your parents’ house?”
“God, no.” The thought was enough to make Christian shudder. “But we could ask Kameron for a place of our own. It doesn’t need to be big, and I know there are several empty houses around. If you want to, of course.”
Clea stared at him for a moment. “What happened to you?”
“What do you mean?”
“You went from ignoring me completely to wanting to have sex and move in with me in less than a week.”
Christian shook his head. “I’m not sure. I think I needed those few weeks to wrap my mind around everything that happened and the fact that you’re a man. Now that I started talking to you, well, I can’t even remember what the problem was.”
“That would be the dick between my legs.”
Christian laughed and pulled Clea close again, kissing his temple. “Yeah, it was your dick, but I’m not scared of it. Not anymore. And after I talked with my brothers, I realized my parents don’t need me to bond with a nice girl who could give them grandkids. We can adopt, later. Much later.”
“What about you being straight until me?”
Christian shrugged. “I guess I wasn’t as straight as I thought I was. I never thought about having sex with a guy, but then again I didn’t really think about having sex with a girl either. It just happened.”
“And you have absolutely no problems with it anymore?”
“I don’t think I ever did. I just needed to get used to it.”
Clea licked his lips. “Well. I guess we’re about to test that theory, aren’t we?”
Chapter Four
Clea had never been so glad to see the enforcers building. He was about to have sex with Christian, and he desperately needed privacy for that.
Not that the enforcers’ building was completely private—there were always a lot of people coming and going, hanging around the kitchen and the living room at any hour of the day and night. The bedrooms were private, though, and the level of noise in the house would mean no one would hear Clea and Christian going at it. Probably. It would be better than Christian’s house, anyway. There was no way Clea was having sex with Christian’s parents in the next room.
Clea stumbled and almost fell on his face. He managed to keep his feet under him and tried to ignore Christian’s chuckle, but it wasn’t easy, not when Christian slid an arm around Clea’s waist and pulled him close.
“Wouldn’t want you to fall down. I need you in one piece,” Christian said.
“Shut up.” Christian sure seemed to have accepted Clea. It still left Clea wondering what the fuck had happened, since Christian had been keeping him at arm’s length ever since they met, but he wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. He just hoped the horse didn’t end up biting him in the ass.
“I could always patch you up when we get to your bedroom, I guess. Not exactly what I want to do, but it shouldn’t be a problem.”
“No, you want to have sex, right?”
Clea could see Christian’s grin even in the low light that came from the house. “Exactly.”
“I think I changed my mind,” Clea said, hoping Christian understood he was teasing.
Christian’s hand moved from Clea’s hip to his ass and he squeezed. “You’re sure?”
Clea shuddered. Damn it. It had been a while since he’d last had sex with someone who wasn’t his right hand, and Christian was his mate. There was no way they weren’t having sex as soon as they got to Clea’s bedroom.
“Shut up.”
Christian’s laughter was nice to hear, especially since Clea had given up on it recently. “So witty.”
“So annoying.”
Christian gave Clea a sideways hug. “Pity you’re stuck with me then.”
Clea smiled so wide it almost hurt. “I am, aren’t I?”
“You can bet your sweet ass you are. I’m not going anywhere. Our beginning was rocky, and I’ll admit it was all my fault, but now that I have you, I’m not letting you go. I’m not that stupid.”
Clea licked his lips. They hadn’t talked about mating, and he’d thought Christian would want to separate sex and mating. Sex with a guy was new to him, after all. Clea wanted to know, though. He didn’t have to bite to bond himself to Christian, and while he didn’t want to do anything Christian didn’t want, he wasn’t sure he could stop himself from matin
g with him while they were having sex. Unless he was facing away from Christian, of course. That could be a possibility. He thought about himself on his hands and knees, Christian behind him, hammering into him and clutching at his hips. Yeah, that sounded good. So good.
“You, mate, are having dirty thoughts,” Christian said, startling Clea out of his sex thoughts.
“I’m not,” Clea tried to protest.
“Really? Then why is your cock hard?”
Clea looked down, and sure enough, his dick was pushing against the front of his jeans. It was obvious even in the low light, and Clea couldn’t bring himself to be sorry about it. Let Christian know how Clea felt about him—he’d face Clea’s cock soon enough anyway. Might as well give him a peek before he got to the real thing. Clea shrugged. “Thinking about you.”
“And thinking about me makes you hard?”
“It does if I think about you fucking me from behind.”
Christian stumbled, and it was Clea’s turn to laugh. “Careful. I really do need you in one piece.”
Christian knocked their shoulders together. “You’re not funny.”
“I so am.”
They stepped into the clearing where the enforcers building stood, and Clea knew he had to ask about mating before they actually got into his bedroom. He wouldn’t be able to think once Christian got his hands on him, let alone talk.
They climbed the porch steps and Clea stopped before opening the front door. Christian looked at him with an arched brow and Clea took a deep breath. “I know we said we were going to have sex, and I’m all for that, obviously, but we didn’t talk about, you know...”
Clea couldn’t bring himself to say the words. He knew it was probably a good idea to wait until he and Christian knew each other better, but he wasn’t sure he could take a rejection.
Christian slowly shook his head. “About what? Who plays receiver?”
Clea barked out a laugh. “Receiver? Really?”
“How was I supposed to say it?”
Clea (Gillham Pack Book 17) Page 6