by Sara Wood
“I came here to confront my past, my present and my future. My husband was my only concern, but now that has changed. I see you and I know that the world is different. Time changes and if we don’t change with it, then we’re going to be left behind. You must have seen that we were getting close and you gave us the kick in the ass to go the rest of the way. We were stuck and then you came along and opened up our eyes. We didn’t know how close we really were and how easy it was to going to be to make that leap.” He was handsome, calm and distinguished and he showed no malice or fore thought to do me any harm.
“We saw the five of you, as a steppingstone to a new more civilized future. There were others, but nothing that resembled five distinct and very unique members that had the capacity to see past with their own eyes. We’ve been with you every step of the way and we were quite amazed at how you made those tough decisions. Like I said, I normally don’t interfere, but things have changed and we need to put them back on the right course. Unfortunately, fate and destiny has a way of cleaning things up in a hurry.” I really didn’t like the sound of this.
“What you are trying to say is that, if we do change something, then life has a funny way of making things right. That does make sense, but you seem to have something on your mind.” He was wearing a white shirt and black pants. He was constantly looking past me. It really did insult me and I was hoping for a little bit more attention. I guess I was craving somebody to look at me like a natural woman.
“You may think that your friends have found happiness, but there a couple of you that are going to get a cold dose of reality. Hope gave her lover a lifeline that wasn’t supposed to be. The plane that was taking him to see her crashed with only one fatality. I really don’t think that I have to paint you a picture. We understand that it’s hard to walk away from something that means that much to you. Hope made her decision and then fate decided that death would not be denied.” I felt bad for hope and I wondered if she would bounce back after something like that.
“Is she the only one, or is there something else?”
“Samantha was close to making a colossal error in judgment. I’m not going to go into detail, but it’s suffice to say that her decision was one that we condone.” I had more questions and I wasn’t sure how long I had, before he would leave me. “You all think that you’ve gotten a handle on this, but trust me life is not made to pull at those very thin threads. We wanted to give you an opportunity to find that out for yourself. Those that have come before you have gotten an insight that they didn’t have before. They tried to warn you, but of course you wouldn’t listen.”
“If it makes you feel any better, I’m going to leave my marriage the way that it is. I know that nothing good comes from turning things around. If I could’ve done that, I would’ve done that in my own time. Since I didn’t, I’m guessing that it was meant for the both of us to slip out of each other’s fingers. I’m not even sure that we were in love. We did have a wonderful time together, but something was missing. I’ve been foolish to deny it, when it was right in front of me the entire time.” I had my eyes on Gerald and I wanted to make an effort to seek out the possibility that there could be something between us.
“You’re making a good decision, but you also think that it’s possible to find another. It is, but not here in this time. Take all of this back with you and use sound judgment to make things better for yourself.” I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t come here, so that I could be sent away with no answers to my questions. I wasn’t going to interfere, but I needed to see this for myself, whether it was a good idea or not was beside the point. “I see that you are dead set on watching and learning from your past mistakes. I’ll leave you to it, but trust that we will be watching and monitoring everything that is going on. By the way there is something that you will have to do.”
I heard this loud siren and it was deafening. I closed my eyes and when I opened them, Milton had disappeared. It felt like he had broken the time barrier. I thought that I saw this shimmer of something, but I couldn’t be sure. I had no idea what to make of his last statement that I was going to have to do something. I looked around and nothing had changed. There didn’t seem to be any sign that I was leaving.
“Excuse me, but maybe you should take that somewhere else. Some of the regulars are getting a little weirded out. I don’t have any problem with you talking to yourself, but they seem to think that you were talking to somebody else that wasn’t there.” The waitress was a comely young blonde that probably had no problems getting a date on a Saturday night.
I was close to telling her that there was somebody here, but her eyes told me that there was no way that anybody had seen him. He could only be seen by me and I believed that it was by design.
“I’m sorry, but I tend to think things through better by voicing them. If I made any of your regulars uncomfortable, then I sincerely apologize. I hope that you will take it in the spirit in which it was given.” She nodded her head and walked away with a shift in her hips that made it impossible for any man not to take a look. That was proven by three men that had decided to be subtle about it. To me, it was obvious, but then again I was able to see what was happening. I didn’t want to admit it, but having Milton here had made me take stock in my own life.
“It’s fine, but maybe next time go around back and do that someplace else.” Her words were basically flowing on the wind, as she walked back into the sliding doors. I was left to think about things, but it wasn’t long before I had this need to see my husband. I knew that I was asking for trouble, but this was something that I had to do for myself.
There didn’t seem to be a need to say anything. I thought it best that I continue on my way. Milton’s words were still ringing in my ears. I didn’t like the idea that I was going to have to do something, but it became an effort just to think about it. It could be anything, but I had a feeling that I would know it when I saw it.
The meeting with him was odd, but I understood that he came from a different time and place than the rest of us. I’m sure that he had knowledge on the past and how it was going to affect the future. It was a strange way to look at things, but the only way that I could make sense of it was to put it into a scientific equation that I would understand myself. I had to look at this with an unbiased view and not concern myself with my own petty agenda.
I hailed a taxi and despite the very notion that I was doing something wrong, I was still going to play this out to find the closure that I had been lacking in the courtroom. I didn’t quite know how to say how I feel. It was not an easy thing for me to do. Putting my heart on my sleeve was not something that I did. I had a cold clinical eye for detail and that was something that I felt was keeping me from really living the life that I was deserving of.
The taxi dropped me off in the suburbs. I was never comfortable here, but my husband felt like we needed to put on the air of a normal life. We couldn’t live out of suitcases all the time and to put down roots would mean that we were making a true commitment to each other. I thought that he was crazy to think that, but putting my own spin on those rooms that needed a makeover had certainly given me a new way of looking at my husband. I still couldn’t believe that I was calling him that, even when we were this close to finalizing the heartbreak once and for all.
I had no idea what I was going to have to do for Milton, but he obviously knew something that I didn’t. I couldn’t think about that, as I went up my driveway to the back door. I put my hand over and unlatched the lock, swinging the door open to reveal my dog spike. It was such a generic name and one that showed no real compassion or interest to get to know him. He raised his head for a second, only to put it back down; when he realized that I was no threat to anyone.
I used the key underneath the fake rock amongst the real ones to open the door. I stepped into a life that had been what I thought that I wanted. I found waking in his arms to be comforting, but I didn’t really know if that was love or not. It could be that I just needed someon
e to cuddle with. Maybe the comforting feel of my pillow was the only thing that I had ever needed.
I saw the photographs on the wall and then I made my way up to the master bedroom. Visions of us bringing a smile to each of our faces came to mind. I remembered the arguments and the way that he would roll his eyes when he thought that he was right and I was wrong.
Chapter three
I don’t know how long I stood there, before I finally shook myself out of the past. I saw his ratty gray bathrobe on the back of the door. I told him that one day I would toss it to goodwill, but I never had the heart to actually go through with it. It was one of his trademarks and sitting on his brown leather chair with the robe cinched and the remote in his hand was the way that he spent most nights. I was curled up beside him in the Lotus position reading books. That was, so much better than watching anything that they had on television.
There were a couple of exceptions and I loved the amazing race and it allowed me to live vicariously through each of those couples. I wanted to do that myself, but my husband was vehement that it would never happen in his lifetime. Now that he was out of my life, I might be able to find a partner that was willing to take the leap of faith. It could mean $1,000,000 and when did you get a chance to get your hands on $1,000,000. It wasn’t going to be easy and those that were going to pretend to be my friend would most likely be the ones that were going to stab me in the back.
I placed my fingers on the frame. We looked happy. I think back on those times that it was good for the both of us. We really did listen to each other. It wasn’t till I get caught up in this mess that he started to think that love wasn’t strong enough to compete with my scientific background. I tried to tell him that it wasn’t anything personal, but my business really did need me to step up and be noticed. I’d joined the rest of them due to my sister Caroline’s recommendation
I’d found that I didn’t want to be here anymore. It was a painful reminder of the things that I had lost and maybe rightfully so. It wasn’t like I was around most of the time. He would have to contend for himself and that did not make for a relationship. I didn’t blame him for feeling like he was being left out of the loop, because I really couldn’t talk about my work. I’m sure that he would have gladly listened and gave his input, but to do so would be going against the bond that I had with my friends. I considered Caroline my friend and she was blood, but it went further than that.
We were always there for each other and that had never changed. It was time that I finally realized that my life was going on the path that it was supposed to be. I could try to change it, but that would only make Milton and those that he reported back to unhappy. If I was supposed to do something, then he may as well show me what it was and not let me wonder with trepidation. Was I even going to be able to take on the task?
I left there. I walked away, thinking that I should turn back and do what I was going to do. I had to force myself to put 1 foot in front of the other, until I was an hour away.
I heard the sirens and I knew that something was going on. For some reason I felt compelled to go towards the source. I was never much for getting involved and there were times that I thought that I should have. The lone stranger on the highway putting his thumb out for a drive could have found safety in my vehicle. Unfortunately, he could’ve also been some kind of serial killer. I just didn’t feel like I could take the chance. Risks were what made life interesting. Not to put myself out there was not doing anybody any favors.
My feet were fatigued after an hour of walking aimlessly, when I finally came upon a sight that made my skin tingle and my blood run cold. A two story house was on fire. The sirens were still in the distance. It would take them a few more minutes to get here. I didn’t think that the woman screaming from the top floor was going to be able to wait around.
“Help me…my family and I are caught inside. I could probably make the jump, but I don’t think that my baby can.” A young woman looking like she was on the cusp of having another was waiting for me to do something. She was dressed like a mother and was probably doing more work than most people did at their daily jobs. I think that when I got home, I would get in touch with what was really important. Caroline was my best friend and confidant. I had used her, as something to hold onto. It wasn’t fair to her and I needed to make it up to her by showing her how I really felt.
“I’ll do what I can, but I can’t promise anything. The fire is raging out of control on the lower floor. The fire department will have a better chance to reach you, but I don’t think that they’re going to be here for a few more minutes.” I saw the hope drain from her face. She put her hands on the windowsill with her head bowed in a form of defeat. “Stay there and I’ll see if I can find a ladder.” I looked back beyond their property and there were no visible signs of a garage or a shed nearby. I was going to have to resort to going to virtual strangers in the neighborhood for some kind of assistance.
I began to knock on the door next to hers with no answer. I saw the shed and looked through the window by using my hand to clear away the dust. I saw the ladder and it gave me a new purpose. I felt ashamed that I would come back here specifically to make things right between my husband and me.
Picking up a rock, I smashed the glass to the door and reached into pull the latch. It swung open on rusty hinges and sitting alongside the back wall was this huge ladder that would most likely extend to the length that I was looking for. I picked it up and it was awkward and heavy, but I wasn’t going to let that stand in my way. Heaving it with everything that I had, I carried it down the sidewalk with sweat now pooling between my eyes.
The flames and black smoke had escalated in my time away. I managed to get the ladder in place, but I saw no sign of the woman that was begging for help. “I’m coming for you.” My scream was not met with any form of answer. Was I risking my life for nothing and had they already succumbed to smoke inhalation and the flames that were all around? I had to find out for sure. If it meant putting my life on the line, then I had no problem doing that.
It didn’t look like anybody was around at this time of day. It was going to take somebody that was willing to do what was right to step up. I saw a couple of people that had decided to stop by and see what was going on. They had their cell phones out and were most likely calling for the fire dept. I started to climb up the ladder and it was shaky. I started to think that this wasn’t such a good idea after all. Suddenly, the ladder became more secure and I looked down to see a man in a biker jacket holding it. He had short hair and I had to smile thinking that he was also taking the risk of getting caught into something that was beyond his control.
“I thought that you needed a hand and I was driving by. He motioned to his side and I looked to see a Harley Davidson. It was a beautiful gleaming black model that had my name written all over it. I’d always been into bikes, but never did find the time to get my license. I do believe that I was going to make the time. To feel that open road underneath my wheels with my helmet on for safety and the prerequisite leather was something that I could truly get my mind around.
“I’m glad that you were around and decided to help. I don’t know what I’m going to find in there, but I’m going to need your help. You look like you can handle yourself.” On second thought, the better place for me was down on the ground and watching, as his chiseled body made its way up the ladder. Unfortunately, I was already in this position and there was no point in changing things. “I would like to have a cup of coffee with you after everything is said and done.” I’d never been the one to initiate, but danger and the possibility of dying had given me the courage to say something.
“My name is Colby White.” There was something about him that made me want to know more. I had kept falling down in my life and I felt like I was running around in a maze that had no end. I had to believe that nothing would go wrong, as I shimmied through the opening in the window. I held my sleeve against my mouth, dropping down onto the wood floor to find the prone for
m of the woman that had called to me
I touched her throat and I found that she was still breathing. I also found that she was heavier than she looked. I had to believe that that had something to do with dead weight. I lifted her by her arms and hanged her over the edge. I didn’t know what I was going to do, when suddenly he appeared like my own personal angel of mercy.
“I have to tell you that I find your bravery to be very exciting. I don’t see how anybody could just walk down the sidewalk and not do something to help.” That was my sentiment as well, but there were those that didn’t feel a need to put their lives in the hands of the almighty above. “Pass her to me and I’ll try and do my best to get her down the ladder without killing us both.” He didn’t sound like he was kidding. It was precarious at best. I remembered what the woman said about her family. I couldn’t leave, even though I could see the flames licking across the ceiling and following the path of least resistance.
He finally had her over his shoulder with her arms latching onto his neck. She had awakened for a moment and was able to help herself. They went down that ladder slowly and that was when I felt the floor beneath me begin to buckle underneath my weight. He was at the window again and I gave him the baby swaddled in a colorful blanket.
I moved just in time, as the floor gave way and a burst of fire streamed up from below. It was exactly where the ladder was situated against the window and going back out that way was not an option.
Chapter four
I could have panicked, but instead I believed that I was on a righteous course. I had this feeling that this was exactly what Milton had been talking about. If I wasn’t around, she would’ve been sucked into the fire that raged from below. She was in the exact same spot where the floor had disintegrated. I felt like I had a reason to live and it had nothing to do with finding my heart.