by D'Ann Lindun
Even Stoney and Adrian were coming around. They studiously avoided talking about Joel, keeping to less painful subjects. When Johnny allowed himself to grieve, it was going to hurt like hell.
Stoney reached for a bowl of peanuts on the table. “You still want to change some of the tracks on the new CD?”
“Absolutely.” More than ever, Johnny wanted the song he’d begun writing added onto the album. A few tweaks and he’d be ready to share it with the band and put it to music.
Music. Booze. Chicks.
This was his life. Not making plans to ride into the mountains to find missing horses and cleaning up Montana’s camp and the burned-out cabin.
He knew Ryan and Shannon would help Montana, but he felt like the world’s biggest asshole for leaving without lending her a hand. When he got home, he’d hire someone to rebuild the cabin. It was the least he could do.
He wished it was as easy to mend a broken heart.
~*~
Montana stumbled into the kitchen and watched through the window until the taillights of the truck dimmed then vanished into the night.
Shannon placed a hand on her shoulder. “You okay?”
With her back to her friend to hide her tears, Montana nodded. “Sure.”
“No you’re not.” Gently, Shannon turned her around. “Tell me about it.”
Realizing Shannon wouldn’t give up until the whole story was out, Montana wiped her cheeks with her sleeves and sat at the kitchen table. “I need coffee.”
Shannon poured them both a cup and settled on the opposite side of the table, eyeing her shrewdly. “You went and fell in love with Johnny.”
Seeing no point in denying it—she would need her friends in the coming days—Montana nodded. “Yeah.”
“Does he love you back?”
Leave it to Shannon to cut to the chase.
“No.”
“Oh, baby.” Shannon reached across the table and took Montana’s hand. She squeezed. “I’m sorry.”
“You warned me. I didn’t listen, so it serves me right.” Montana lifted her cup and set it down. “Joel said I’m only one on a long list of fools.”
“I don’t think I’d put a whole lot of stock into anything Joel said. Have you told Johnny how you feel?”
“No.”
“Maybe you should.”
Montana shook her head. “You told me not to show him my feelings.”
“That was before one of his closest friends tried to kill him. I saw how he held onto you while he was talking about what Joel did. You were like a buoy keeping him from sinking.”
Sipping coffee without tasting it, Montana considered Shannon’s suggestion. “I don’t see how saying anything would change things. He’s not going to come back no matter what.”
“Maybe not, but he’d know you love him. And right now he needs someone who cares.” Shannon stirred her coffee. “He’s been betrayed so many times. It must hurt like hell.”
“I can’t even imagine.” Montana recalled how low she’d been when she found Tom in the shower with those girls. Her friends had pulled her through. Keifer. Teal. Joel. Was there anyone who wouldn’t stab Johnny in the back? How could he trust anyone at this point? Was he looking at even Stoney and Adrian with suspicious eyes now? Maybe Johnny did need her. “I don’t know…”
“You do,” Shannon urged. “Go tell him what’s in your heart before it’s too late.”
Montana pushed her cup away. “Should I?”
“I’ll drive.” Shannon grabbed her coat. “Hurry.”
~*~
Montana’s heart pounded so hard she feared it’d burst out of her chest. She curled her fingers into her palms until she thought they might break. How could she find the courage to tell Johnny how she felt? Ask him to stay, or at least come back?
She glanced at Shannon’s profile. “What do I say?”
Shannon slowed for a sharp corner. “Just tell him what’s in your heart.”
Risking a speeding ticket, she tore through town, skidding into The Waterfall’s parking lot. She threw the truck into park. “I’ll bet money he’s here. Go get him.”
Montana wet her lips and reached for the door handle. “Wish me luck.”
“All the luck in the world, baby.” Shannon held out her hand and they twisted their pinkies together. “But you don’t need any.”
Montana stepped out on legs shaking so hard she wasn’t sure she could walk. Forcing herself forward, she headed toward the door.
Funny the first place she had seen Johnny was now the place where she would confess her love. At the heavy oak door she paused and drew in a deep breath. “It’s now or never.”
Inside the dim room, it took a moment for her eyes to adjust. Blinking, she scanned the room for Johnny.
In a flash of déjà vu, she found him in the corner booth, arms slung casually around Mary-Jane Powell and Serena Southward. Mary-Jane whispered something in his ear and he threw his head back and laughed as though he didn’t have a care in the world.
He must have sensed someone watching because he looked in her direction.
For a fraction of a second, something passed between them. A flash of the days and nights they’d shared.
Then, just as fast, it vanished.
Lifting her chin, Montana spun on her heel and left Johnny to his groupies.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Johnny looked around the studio at his band. “I’ve been working on a song for a while and I’d like to put it on Betrayed and release it as our first single.”
“Play it, Cowboy,” Stoney urged. “Let’s hear it.”
Johnny moved to the keyboard and began to sing.
After the last note faded away, he closed his eyes against the images his lyrics evoked. Big gray eyes, long legs and a spirit like none other. A wave of longing washed over him and he fought to keep his composure.
“Pretty,” Adrian said. “Sing it again.”
Without comment, Stoney picked up his guitar and began to strum as the drummer picked up the beat.
Johnny sang the words he’d worked on for so long.
Adrian joined in, her voice soaring with his. When they recorded, he knew exactly where he wanted her to add her vocals. With polish it would be amazing.
After several versions, the final began to form in Johnny’s mind. He stood and stretched. “Thanks, everyone. This song is definitely going on the record and will be our first single.”
Stoney stared at the ground.
Adrian picked at her nail polish.
“What?” Johnny demanded. “It’s a fucking awesome tune so why are you all acting like your grandma just died?”
Stoney thrust his guitar aside. “Because it’s fucking country music. It’s Heartbeat all over again, except this time the name is Montana, not Teal. The chick you’re in love with.”
Johnny reeled. He thought he’d hidden his feelings better than that. “Bullshit.”
“He’s right, Cowboy.” Adrian glanced between them. “Do you want to go backwards? I thought we were going to rock this record. Leave the country sound behind. The fans hated Heartbeat. You want to go down that road again? Run off what few fans we have left?”
“It’s not country,” Johnny insisted. “It’s a rock ballad.”
“We could speed it up,” Tabitha, the drummer, suggested.
“I like it the way I sang it,” Johnny said. “That’s the way it’s staying.” He pushed away from the keyboard and stood. “Let’s take a break. I need a drink.”
At his bar he poured a tall glass of vodka and drank deeply. Skirting his twelve-foot Christmas tree, he walked to the glass doors leading to his deck and opened them. The warm air blowing off the Pacific Ocean beckoned and he stepped outside.
Two months since he’d left Colorado and he missed Montana more than ever.
He sank onto one of the deck chairs and stared at the gently rolling waves of the vast sea. A couple bikini-clad girls strolled by on the pristine beach, waving when
they spotted him. He nodded in acknowledgment, but his dick didn’t jump to attention.
He wasn’t interested in hookups or short-term affairs. No woman took his mind off the one he’d left behind. Since he’d gotten back from Colorado, he’d focused on music. He’d immersed himself in the new CD, sorting through music, trying not to automatically choose every slow, heart-wrenching song he’d ever written.
He thought he’d hurt when Teal screwed Keifer. That was a scratch compared to the ache he carried now.
Every day he had to fight the urge to fire up the jet and fly to Colorado. Nothing had changed. He couldn’t live there.
Montana would hate the crowds, the smog, the fake bullshit.
Even if he convinced her to look past all that, he doubted she’d take his call. The way she’d looked at him when she found him wrapped in the arms of those girls was seared into his brain. The same look he’d no doubt given Keifer when he found him screwing Teal.
Shock, anger and disbelief.
What had Montana come to say to him that night?
He’d followed her to find out, but by the time he’d gotten untangled from the girl all over him, Montana was long gone. Nothing had happened between him and those girls. He’d only wanted Montana, but he doubted she’d ever believe him.
He longed to talk to her just to hear her voice.
Had she found the horses? Were they unharmed? Back in their corral at the ranch? He’d sent tents, camp stoves, everything he could think of to replace Montana’s things, but he hadn’t included a return address.
The urge to share with her what was going on with him was a daily battle. He wanted to talk about what happened with Joel, the music… shit, everything.
Boomer, one of his rescue mutts, wandered outside and flopped at his feet. Absently, Johnny stroked the dog’s soft ears. “I miss her, buddy. What am I going to do?”
“How about telling the girl how you feel?”
Johnny glanced over his shoulder to where Adrian stood in the doorway. “You sneaking up on me when I’m talking to myself?”
“Yep.” She sat on one of the chaise lounges. “Nice out here.”
He didn’t give a shit about the weather. “Yeah. You come to bitch about my song some more? Tell me I’m a fucking idiot?”
“Nope.” She commented idly, “I hear its cold as hell in Colorado.”
His head snapped her way. “You talked to Montana?”
“Shannon.” She sipped her iced tea. “She says it’s freezing out there.”
“Damn it, Adrian. How’s Montana?” He almost dreaded the answer. What if she’d already forgotten him?
“I didn’t ask.”
“What?” He stared at her in disbelief. “Why the fuck not?”
She shrugged. “I figured if you wanted to know, you’d find out for yourself. According to the words of your song, you fell hard for her. Just as I suspected. Did you ever tell Montana how you feel? Or are you going to keep moping around the rest of your life missing her? Suffering in silence? Or writing one heartbreak song after another again?”
His shoulders sagged. “What’s the point in opening up? Her life is there, mine is here.”
“Did you ask her if she’d be willing to relocate?”
He laughed. “A country girl in Malibu? She’d be miserable within a day.”
“How do you know? Did you ever ask her?” Adrian swirled her glass. “We all came from somewhere else, Cowboy. None of us grew up here and we somehow acclimated to this life.”
He shook his head. “You and I have a reason to live in L.A. Montana’s life is in Colorado.”
“You loved it there. Why don’t you go to her?”
“And become a hunting guide? Not that it wasn’t fucking awesome in the mountains, but give up everything I’ve worked my whole life for?” He snorted. “No way.”
She shook her head. “Obviously you can write music anywhere. Yeah, you might have to come here to record, but even that isn’t set in stone. You could build a studio there. I’m pretty sure the band would love to get out of town now and then to lay down some tracks with you.”
“Touring—”
“Doesn’t matter where you’re based.” She gave him one of her steady, soul-searing stares. “Sounds like a lot of bullshit excuses to me. Why don’t you man up and ask the girl how she feels instead of sitting here like an old hound dog getting drunk at one in the afternoon and writing shitty country songs that are going to run off the last few fans you have left?”
“Damn it, Adrian.” He stared at the ocean. “I don’t know—”
“These are all bullshit excuses and you know it. The truth is you’re hurt and scared. With good reason. People you trusted fucked you over. But are you going to let Keifer, Teal and Joel steal your happiness? Or are you going to take a chance on someone who loves you so much it hurts?” She stood and patted his shoulder. “The choice looks pretty clear to me.”
After she left, he stared at the ocean without seeing it. Could he and Montana make it work? His life was in the studio and on the road. She hated the celebrity lifestyle with a passion. Would she be able to trust him?
Doing so wouldn’t be easy.
It could work if they both gave it all they had.
For the first time since he’d left Colorado, the ache in his heart eased a little. Hope flared where pain had burned a hole.
Pushing to his feet, he walked to the edge of the deck and poured the rest of his drink into the shrubs.
Back in the studio, he faced the band. Dragging in a deep breath, he held it a moment. “Okay. This is the way it’s going to be. Let’s speed up my song a little. And we won’t put it out as our first single. Maybe second or third, depending on the fans’ reaction.”
Relief flashed across everyone’s faces.
When he met Adrian’s eyes, she smiled. “Good deal.”
Stoney nodded. “Great.”
Johnny settled at the keyboard. “Let’s rock this bitch.”
When Johnny dismissed the band at five-thirty, they stared at him in disbelief. Usually they played until the wee hours of the morning.
“You want to go to The Cave?” Stoney asked on his way out.
“Nah. I have some things I need to do tonight,” Johnny told him.
“Cool. See you tomorrow.”
Johnny slapped him on the back. “Sure thing.” He grabbed Adrian’s elbow as she moved by him. “Hang on.”
“What’s up?”
He motioned to the deck. “You want to eat dinner with me?”
Surprise flitted across her face. “Sure, why not?”
“I’ll order Chinese. There’s nothing in my fridge but condiments.”
She walked toward the open door. “Order extra eggrolls for me. And lots of sake.”
After the food arrived, Johnny carried it to the deck where Adrian lay stretched out on the chaise, hands folded behind her head. She watched a couple girls in tiny bikinis play with a Frisbee. “You have a great view, dude.”
“I suppose.” A vision of the panorama he’d admired at the top of the Colorado peak flashed in his head. “If you don’t mind a million people staring in your windows at all hours of the day and night.”
“You’ve never cared before,” she reminded him.
“I know.” He spread out the food. “Let’s eat. I have an idea I want to run by you.”
Swinging her legs off the chair, she reached for the carton of moo shu pork. “Do tell.”
He fixed a plate while gathering his thoughts. “I need your help.”
She paused, chopsticks halfway to her mouth, as he outlined his plan and added her suggestions.
At last pleased, Johnny dug into his food with more appetite than he’d had in months. If this worked, Montana would see how much he loved her.
The entire world would be his witness.
~*~
Montana tugged her coat tighter around her as she walked toward the Marshes’ front door. As light snow drifted down, the white tw
inkle lights strung along the fence glow softly. Pine trees in the yard had also been covered with the tiny white lights, creating a magical scene.
As pretty as everything looked, Montana didn’t want to be here. She’d rather celebrate New Year’s Eve at home with a bowl of popcorn and an old western movie. However, Shannon and Rose had insisted her broken heart wouldn’t feel any worse if she got out and socialized with friends who cared about her. They’d refused to take no for an answer until Montana showered and dressed, although persistent fatigue and off-and-on flu-like symptoms had her wishing she’d stayed home on the sofa.
She raised the horseshoe-shaped knocker and let it drop. In a moment the door opened and Colleen Marsh swept her into a fierce bear hug. “Montana. I’m so happy you came.”
“I wouldn’t miss your party,” Montana fibbed. In addition to not feeling well, she’d been terrified the Marsh family would blame her for Joel’s acts of violence. She should have known better. They weren’t vindictive people and they knew she never would have intentionally led evil to their doorstep.
“Come in, get out of the snow.” Colleen ushered her inside. “How have you been, dear?”
“Good.” Montana curled her fingernails into her palms to keep from blurting the truth—she felt like dying most days. No one had ever told her a broken heart could kill you.
Colleen pulled back and studied her face. “You’re awfully pale. That horrible hunting trip really took a toll on you, didn’t it?”
“It was a rough one.” No sense sugarcoating things. The older woman knew her too well.
“I couldn’t believe that maniac burned down my cabin and tried to kill you. Thank God he failed.” Colleen tucked Montana’s arm into hers. “Mr. Cortez sent word he’ll rebuild it when the snow melts.”
At the mention of Johnny’s name, Montana froze. True to his word, he’d sent mountains of gear to replace everything she’d lost, but he hadn’t contacted her. Shannon heard from Adrian on a regular basis, but the backup singer never mentioned anything about Johnny other than saying they were busy working on the new CD.
What had she expected? Had she imagined he’d say leaving had been a big mistake and he couldn’t live without her?