by Ivy Jordan
We walked out of a store, and I just stood there, my face in the sun, just soaking it up. I couldn’t remember a time that I was that happy, and I was so grateful to have Mandy with me to enjoy it, as well. She’d started writing for a local paper in Miami and was really making a name for herself. The people were so welcoming and warm in Florida. It was like the sun just transformed everyone and made them happier.
“What are you doing, silly?” Mandy laughed as she watched me soaking up the sun. “People are going to start to think you’re crazy.”
I smiled but didn’t turn to look at her. “Maybe I am crazy.”
“Well, I’m glad to see you are in a good mood today.”
“Why, wouldn’t I be? I’m shopping with my wonderful sister, and the sun is shining…”
“Oh boy. I say we get something to eat and have a daytime drink. What do you say?”
“Sounds good to me.”
We continued down the street until we found a bistro with an open patio; it was perfect. We walked in, and the hostess seated them. When the waitress came by, we both ordered frozen drinks. They were perfect for a day in the sun.
The waitress arrived with our drinks and Mandy ordered a burger and fries, and I ordered a burger with a salad, though I knew I would be stealing some of her fries. I took a sip of my margarita and smiled.
“Oh, these are good. I still can’t believe the deal I got on those shorts. I can’t wait to wear them.”
“I know. We can smell a bargain a mile away.”
“So, how are things going with that article you’re writing?”
“Great! The way things are going now, I think I will have enough accolade to get a job at a paper in LA when we go. Why not, right? I can still work from home, and it’s really fun.”
I was about to respond when two guys approached our table. Mandy smiled as we looked up at them.
“Hey ladies.”
“Hi, can we help you with something?” Mandy asked.
“Well, we saw you come in, and we thought we could buy you another drink and chat with you. We could have a fun day together.”
“I don’t think so, but thank you,” I said.
The one guy looked at me and almost did a double take. “Oh man, I didn’t recognize you from back there.”
His friend looked at him and then looked back at me. “What? Who is she? A celebrity?”
“That’s Caleb Harris’ girlfriend.”
I blushed as Mandy’s smile grew broader. She always loved when I got recognized, but I hated it. It would be one thing if it was for my own career, but being recognized just because you were someone’s girlfriend wasn’t that much fun.
“Oh man, yeah, you’re right. It is her. How do you feel dating that man-whore? The guy’s practically a pimp, he’s had so many girls.”
My mouth dropped open, and I didn’t know what to say. Mandy didn’t have that problem, however. “Excuse me?”
“C’mon, I’m sure this isn’t a surprise to you girls. The guy is notorious for sleeping with a ton of women. I was always jealous of the guy for that; what a ladies’ man. Did you put his past behind him? Cause if I were you, I would be worried it might come back to haunt you.”
I took a slow sip of my drink while I thought about what he said. “Do me a favor, guys, and beat it. You are ruining my lunch with my sister.”
“Whoa, whoa, we are just talking here, ladies. I was just joking, anyway. Caleb is a great golfer, one of the best.”
“Yes, he is,” Mandy defended him, and I smiled.
“Yeah, I hope he doesn’t choke up in the bedroom the way he does at the majors every year.”
I stood up as the two of them burst out laughing. “I find it amusing that two losers like yourself would stand here and insult a guy who has more talent in his little finger than you both have in your entire bodies. What do you guys do for a living, besides scratching each other’s asses?”
Their mouths dropped open, and before they could follow with a comeback, I said, “Get away from our table. We don’t want to be seen with you. I’ll call for security if I have to.”
They walked away without saying another word. Losers. I sat back down at the table and looked at my sister, who had a huge grin on her face.
“Now that was awesome. I don’t get to see you flip out as often as I would like.”
I laughed, “Well, my God, I wasn’t going to let those losers talk about Caleb that way. I don’t appreciate it. I can’t say much about his past, but he’s a decent guy with a lot of talent. He doesn’t deserve that.”
“I agree.”
I took a sip of my drink as I thought about Caleb and how much I liked him. He had been so kind to us since we’d arrived and bent over backward for anyone in his life. I had no idea what to think about his past with the ladies, but I thought it had a lot to do with him trying to run from the pressure that he was under.
I really liked Caleb, and the last three weeks had been wonderful. We had pretty much forgotten about what had happened between us and had moved on – though it was something that was on my mind a lot. He made sure to keep affection at a minimum, so it was obvious he was sorry about what happened between us, that he didn’t intend on complicating our situation further.
I had told Mandy all about it the next day, of course, and she had bubbled with excitement. She just told me to be careful. She really liked Caleb and wouldn’t have been disappointed if we got together for real. I knew nothing like that would ever happen, though – this wasn’t some fairy tale.
I was just glad that things had gotten back to normal. I had worried that things would be weird between us, but the chemistry was still there, so it was easy to feel comfortable around him.
I took a deep drink of the margarita as the waitress brought our food. I could see the guys sitting at the bar with their drinks, periodically looking over at us. I glared at them, not wanting them to get brave enough to come back over.
“So, things have been good between you and Caleb? Nothing more to report?”
I smiled. “No, it’s back to business as usual. No weirdness. Thank God.”
“To be honest, I don’t know how you keep your hands off a guy who looks like that. He’s so handsome and that body... It must have been even better naked.”
I blushed. “Stop it. It’s definitely a night I haven’t been able to get out of my mind. The sex was insane, and it had been so long since I had been with someone. Maybe I was just drunk off the feeling.”
“No, good sex is good sex, no matter what. You can’t fake that just because it’s been awhile.”
“Yeah, I guess that’s true,” I agreed. “It’s been so fun being here.”
“No, kidding. And it put you where you wanted to be to work on your career. If you hadn’t have taken the job, we would still be stuck in Georgia. Now you can move on to bigger and better things.”
“I know, you’re right. Funny enough, though, sometimes I think about sleeping with him again. I know it’s stupid, but there are times, more often than not, that I want him again. Is that bad?”
Mandy laughed, and I couldn’t help but laugh, too. I knew exactly what was on her mind and what she was going to say to me.
“Yeah, it’s really bad, but so what? I would totally go for it if I was you.”
“Really? I think I dodged a bullet. Everything is back to normal, and I don’t have to worry about things being weird.”
“Yeah, but it’s not like you are getting paid for sex. If that was what he intended, he wouldn’t have felt so bad the next day and definitely would have brought it up again to you. Or tried to pay you more to get you to agree.
“But he’s never brought it up since, and you said he was apologetic for it. Having sex with him can be separate from work. You wouldn’t be the first girl who got involved with her boss. It happens all the time, and no one sits there worrying about whether they are getting paid for prostitution.”
“Yeah, but they aren’t being hired as someone�
��s girlfriend.”
“Yeah, I get it. But it’s all fake. Sometimes you guys don’t see each other for days. You’re not his escort, for crying out loud.”
“Look, I was just saying that sometimes it’s on my mind. I can’t help it. I really do like Caleb, and if it was a completely different situation, I would want to have sex with him again.”
Mandy smiled. “Yeah, no shit. The guy is gorgeous and one of the nicest guys we know.”
“And, he has a shady past.”
“Yeah, what guy doesn’t? We only know about Caleb’s because it’s smeared all over the papers. How many guys have we dated where we had no idea what they did in the past? You can’t judge him off that. We all make mistakes, and it seems like he’s trying to change his life.”
“Yeah, I know. You’re right.”
“Life is short, Hailey; just do what you feel is right. The rest will fall into place.”
I smiled. She always knew the right thing to say. I always felt better about any situation after talking to Mandy. I sipped my drink as I wondered what Caleb was up to.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Caleb
I was heading into a meeting with Aria, and it made me nervous. My future was held in Under Armour’s hands. I didn’t like anyone having control over my future, but I couldn’t deny the fact that a lost sponsorship would certainly affect my career. Who would want to sponsor me in the future after I was dropped by one sponsor for bad behavior?
As soon as I walked into the Under Armour office, the receptionist smiled warmly at me. They used to seeing me around...and I suspected the receptionist had a bit of a crush on me.
“Caleb, how are you?”
“Great, Lisa, how are you?”
“Oh, I’m great. Aria is expecting you, so go right in.”
I smiled as I passed her and went down the hallway towards her office. I smiled at a few people I knew but kept going. I wasn’t in the mood for chit-chat, and I was anxious to see what Aria wanted. The door to her office was closed, and I knocked on it before opening the door. Aria was sitting behind her desk and looked up from her laptop when I came in.
“Hello, Caleb, how are you?”
“Good, can’t complain.” I sat down across from her. I waited for her to finish something on her laptop before she closed it. It was agonizing to wait for her to tell me why I was there.
“Well, Caleb, I am very happy to report that my boss is quite pleased with you these days, which of course makes me tickled pink as well.”
I smiled in relief. “I’m glad to hear that, Aria. I did all this to make you guys happy, so I’m glad that’s where we are.”
She nodded. “Yes, everything is good on our end. We are thrilled with your turn around; it’s certainly done wonders for your reputation. Maybe you should consider getting a permanent girlfriend.”
I smirked. “Don’t push your luck, Aria.”
She smiled at me. “Okay, there is another matter that I wanted to discuss with you.”
“What’s that?”
“How do you plan on dealing with the anxiety you get during the majors?”
The smile disappeared from my face. “I’m not sure what you mean, Aria.”
She cleared her throat. “You choke, Caleb. I want to know if you have considered how to handle that this year.”
I shifted uncomfortably in my chair, wondering why she was getting so involved in my life. It wasn’t like a sponsorship to get into the personal aspects of a person’s life. It was usually all business, and right now, Aria was ruffling my feathers.
“I have that under control.”
“Do you?”
“Aria, what is the deal here? I don’t need to be counseled on every aspect of my life, I assure you of that much.”
She smiled softly. “There’s no need to get upset, Caleb. I’m not trying to get into your personal business. I just want to help you if there’s a chance that I can. Part of our sponsorship is to guide you in the best ways possible. If there is something holding you back when you get to the majors, then there may be a way that we can help you out.”
I sighed, “What do you have in mind?” I was becoming very irritated with Aria. She was asking more than what I was willing to give. I didn’t need the additional stress of pleasing my sponsors so close to the majors.
They usually stood in the background and didn’t bother me. Now they were breathing down my neck, even when I was doing well. I couldn’t imagine what she had in mind that she thought would help me, but it didn’t appear as if I would have a choice in the matter. I would be discussing things with my father, however, to make sure he didn’t think that they were taking things a little far. Though, he loved my new attitude about life, so he probably would agree with anything Aria suggested.
“I was thinking about having you meet with someone to talk through your issues regarding the majors.”
“I don’t have issues, Aria.”
She smiled sweetly. “I’m not suggesting that you do. But it is a problem that you have had every year. Maybe it’s something that you can talk about with a professional and work through it. Then when you get to the majors, it’s not something that you have to worry about.”
“I see.”
“Look, Caleb, we wouldn’t even be going through all this effort if we didn’t like you. We truly believe in your talents as a golf player, and we think we can help you – if you will just let us help you.”
“Okay, fine, Aria, whatever you want.”
“Great, I will set up an appointment for this afternoon if you aren’t busy and you can get started.”
“Wonderful. Do you mind if I go grab a coffee first?”
“Of course, go ahead. I will text you the information.”
I left the office without another word. I didn’t need to get into anything else. I headed out of the building, not even saying goodbye to Lisa, even though she waved at me. I was beyond annoyed and couldn’t even think straight.
I couldn’t believe they are sending me to a sports psychiatrist. It’s not like I was nuts. I didn’t have any issues that needed to be worked out. The whole thing was ridiculous. But if that’s what I needed to do in order to get what I wanted, then I would do it. It was important to keep Aria happy. The majors weren’t that far off, and I needed to focus and get it done.
I walked across the street and into a coffee shop. I was going to need all the help I could get in order to get through that session. It was best just to get it over with as soon as possible.
With coffee in hand, I walked into the building where the sports psychiatrist was located. Aria had texted me the address of a Dr. Wayne Brentwood, whose office was only down the block from Under Armour. I was looking forward to getting the session over with and going to have a drink. When I got to the reception area, I took a seat and waited. About ten minutes passed before the receptionist came out and motioned me to go with her. I followed her down a long hallway, where she opened a door.
“Your two o’clock is here, Dr. Brentwood.”
“Thank you, Patricia.”
I stood there awkwardly as she left the room.
“Please have a seat, Caleb.”
I was relieved to not see a black leather couch in the room. I didn’t have any intention of lying down and crying about all my imaginary problems. There was what could be considered a loveseat, and I went to sit on it. Sit. Not lay down.
“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Caleb. I’ve been watching your career for years and was pleased when Aria called and told me you wanted to talk.”
“I don’t want to talk. She forced me to come here.”
He chuckled. “I see. Well, fair enough. Let’s dig right in, then, and hopefully, we can find a solution to what makes you choke during the majors.”
I shifted uncomfortably. I hated talking about it; it was something that embarrassed me immensely, and I loathed the idea that I would have to discuss it with a doctor. “Okay.”
“So, Caleb, explain to me
what happens when you choke up. Is it always at the same time? Is there something you think about that gets you wired?”
I thought back to the last time it happened. It was a terrible feeling. It was like all the pressure just built up like a volcano. Instead of bursting in a good way, however, and allowing me to win, it instead kept me frozen in the spot until I was forced to act. The result was always the most terrible shot I could ever make. It was so embarrassing.
“It’s hard to explain... There isn’t a particular thing that happens. I think it’s just a fear of failure that overtakes me, to the point where I can’t even think of a great shot. I just do the stupidest thing possible, which causes me to lose. It’s always as if I’m trying to lose, but I’m not. I swear, I really want this badly.”
“Oh, I believe you, Caleb. I don’t think that you would be going through all this if you didn’t want it badly.”
“It’s such a rookie move. I don’t know why I do it.”
“It can happen for a lot of reasons. It’s certainly a lot of pressure. If I were to guess, I would think the pressure gets to you. Some people thrive on pressure, while others will crumble underneath the weight of it. In your case, I think you have way more than you need, more than your fair share. I think when it counts, it’s easier to give up than to power through all that pressure.”
I nodded. I always believed the pressure was what got to me. But how do you fight something like that? It was more than I could stand sometimes. I didn’t have a chance against it. It’s not like the majors were going to suddenly become less stressful.
“So, how do I stop the pressure? It’s not like it’s just going to go away.”
“No, it’s not, but there are ways around that. You need to erase the pressure from your mind. It can’t be something you think about during the majors, at all. That’s how you get tripped up.”