by Ivy Jordan
“So, how long have we dated?” I asked.
“Not long,” he smiled without giving me any real time frame.
I snuggled into his arms, feeling the comfort and the warmth of his embrace. At that moment I needed to believe every word he said, to not question anything, to just be.
“So, I was a yoga instructor back home; was there anything else I enjoyed?” I asked.
“You liked anything athletic,” he informed me.
I knew from the tone of my body that was true. When I wandered to the gym, the smell, the weights, and environment made me dizzy with excitement. “Did I have any other hobbies? Did I cook?” I asked, wondering about the woman on the cooking show and why I’d stopped the channel there.
“You were never interested in cooking as far as I knew. You did like volleyball though,” he said with a smile.
I remembered a volleyball game going on at the beach when I first went down. Before my paranoia and doubts consumed me, I’d watched them with a strange pleasure. “Okay,” I exclaimed, feeling a rush of excitement roll through me. “So, when can we visit my place in Portland?” I asked eagerly.
“I’ll look into it. I have to hustle this week to make up for the last two, so maybe in a week or two,” he assured me.
I wanted to go now. I felt like being in my own apartment would jar a memory from me. Maybe it was the key I needed to unlock all that was hidden in my mind. “I can go alone,” I offered.
His face turned a strange pale color, and his lips tightened. It was obvious he wasn’t a fan of that idea. “I’m not sure that’s safe,” he insisted.
“I can handle myself,” I protested, but quickly realized I’d nearly drowned because I forgot when high tide was. Maybe he was right. Maybe it wasn’t safe for me to go alone.
Chapter Nine
Isaac
“Isaac,” Maddie called from the kitchen. The phone had rung, and I didn’t get to it quick enough, so as feared, she held the receiver in her hand. “It’s Beth, from your office,” she smiled.
Fuck!
“Thanks,” I choked and took the phone from her hand. Her eyes stared into mine, making me a bit uneasy. “Hey, Beth, what’s up?” I asked, somewhat irritated she hadn’t tried my cell first.
“Things are getting pretty backed up here; you plan on coming in today?” she asked.
I’d had a great weekend with Maddie, playing volleyball on the beach, and even getting her to snuggle in my bed with me, no sex, but sensual cuddling. I didn’t want to leave. I hated Mondays more than I’d ever hated them at that moment.
“Sure. Why didn’t you call my cell?” I asked.
“I did, twice; you didn’t answer,” she snarled through the receiver. “Who was it that answered?” she probed.
“I’ll see you in twenty minutes,” I growled into the phone.
“Have I met Beth?” Maddie asked.
“I don’t think so,” I blurted.
This was turning into a mess. One lie after another, and I was digging my hole deeper and deeper. “I have to go in though, so I’ll see you later, take you to dinner?” I suggested with a quick kiss on her forehead.
I was afraid to leave her, worried that she would break down again like the last time, but I had no choice.
Maddie stood against the kitchen counter, her hair flowing from her shoulders and her bright pink lips puckered in a pouting position. “I won’t be long,” I promised, and left, even though my cock begged me to stay.
I felt like an ass for telling her so many lies. She would hate me for sure when her memory returned, and I’d lose her forever. She had come to Miami once before, but that was it, and we were just friends then. This trip, I planned to tell her how I felt about her since we went to school together, and I had the scene all played out in my mind about how she’d react, but I never got the chance.
Beth stood in the office, her face stern and demanding. I knew she wanted answers for my absence lately, and who the woman was on the other end of the phone. I didn’t have answers; not ones she’d appreciate anyway.
“I have to take care of something.” I rushed into my office, closing the door behind me.
I unlocked my safe and pulled out Maddie’s phone. When I turned it on Rob’s number was blasted all over it, fifteen calls over the weekend, and several texts. I scrolled through them, all the same thing. He wants to talk to her, he is worried, and the last one a threat to call the police to have them come find her. My heart raced and beat hard against my chest as I stared at the threat. She was an adult; would they bother? Not usually. But, if he was convincing enough, they might. Then what?
“Knock, knock,” Beth said as she opened my door. “You gonna tell me what in the hell is going on or what?” she demanded.
Her dark eyes were filled with curiosity, the kind a woman has that she won’t let go of. I knew that look, and I knew well enough that Beth Crawford was not going to let this lie; she was going to pry and pry until she popped the lid to this can of worms.
“Come in,” I offered, and sat down at my desk.
Beth took the chair in front of my desk, her legs crossed and her lips tightened into a straight line. I took a deep breath and prayed that she would understand. She was an abuse survivor herself; she had to understand.
“Who’s the woman at your house?” she probed.
“She’s an old friend,” I explained.
“Okay. So, why haven’t you mentioned her?” she asked.
I took a deep breath and pushed back into the soft leather of my office chair. I still wasn’t sure I wanted to get into detail, but I knew if I didn’t, she’d push me harder. I couldn’t lie to Beth; we’d worked together too many long hours. “Is that why you’ve been so busy?” she added.
“Yes. She was in the hospital,” I started, and watched the concern flood Beth’s eyes. “She arrived here about three weeks ago. We went for a jog, and she was hit by a car. She lost her memory,” I explained.
“Oh my, that is horrible,” Beth gasped, her hand reaching to her mouth. I stared at her, hoping to find a way to spilt out the rest, but couldn’t get myself to utter the words, the horrible words that explained what I’d done.
“Will she regain her memory?” Beth asked.
“They believe so. She has already begun to pick up a few memories here and there, and she had a bad nightmare last week about her life back in Portland,” I sighed, knowing this is where I’d have to spill the beans.
“Her life was bad there?” Beth inquired.
I nodded. “She had a fiancé that she’d left. He was abusive, and she called me asking if she could hide out here for a while until things calmed down,” I explained.
“Has he tried to contact her?” Beth asked.
I held up the phone that I took from Maddie as she lay in the street unconscious. “He has,” I sighed.
“You have her phone?” Beth snapped, sounding protective over the woman’s privacy, even though she didn’t know her.
“I didn’t want her to be bothered. I was protecting her from him. He’s apologizing and acting like everything is fine and she should come home. You know what that’s like; you lived it. Can you imagine if he knew she had amnesia? He would manipulate her into doing anything he wanted,” I argued, my voice beginning to rise.
“So, what have you told her?” Beth leered at me.
“I didn’t want to give the cops her real name, so I told them she was Maddie Grubbs, not Maddie Stewart, and since she had a ring on her finger, I said I was—” I stated.
Beth’s hand was covering her mouth, and I knew it was hanging open in disbelief. She didn’t understand, not fully, but I knew I could trust her to keep my secret. “Isaac, did you tell her you were her fiancé?” she gasped.
“I did. But, I need to protect her from her past. I love her, I’ve always loved her, and I couldn’t bear to lose her,” I proclaimed.
“You don’t think you’re gonna lose her when she finds out you’ve been lying to her?” she sn
apped.
I knew there was a good chance that I would lose Maddie when she found out. A part of me hoped she’d never regain her full memory, but the other part that knew she would and was just willing to lose her in order to protect her from her ex, and to give her time to heal.
“I’m hoping she’ll fall in love with me by then, see how good I am for her, and then she’ll understand why I had to lie in order to protect her,” I replied.
“Isaac, you can’t make someone love you,” Beth whispered, her eyes growing narrow as they stared into mine.
I wasn’t trying to make Maddie love me; I knew she did already. She was never given the chance to find out exactly how good we’d be together, but now, she was already starting to see we are a great fit.
“Isaac, have you slept with her?” Beth asked carefully.
I took a deep breath and then brought my hands to my head. I leaned forward, letting my elbows rest on my desk while my hands cupped my head. I didn’t want to look at her, not directly.
“Isaac! This is so fucking wrong,” Beth exclaimed. “I know you’re a good man, but this isn’t right. You helped me in my case; you know how abuse victims feel, and how easily they are hurt. I get that you want to protect her, and I even understand what you’re doing to an extent, but all I see is this blowing up in your face, and possibly hurting Maddie, not helping her,” she added.
My eyes itched from irritation as I fought back tears. I knew she was right, at least about some of what she said, but I had to do what I felt was best for Maddie.
“You need to tell her; you can’t keep doing this to her and expect a good outcome. If you truly love her, tell her the truth,” Beth pleaded.
Her words were falling on deaf ears. I couldn’t tell Maddie, not with Rob Fallon still calling her, begging her to come back. Maddie had been strong and left him; now it was my job to be strong for her and keep him away, no matter what it took.
Beth glared at me from her office the rest of the day. I finished up paperwork for clients who’d been pushed to the back burner while I dealt with Maddie and her issues.
I ended up promising Beth I would tell her when the time was right, but not right away.
As I walked through the front door of my house, panic set in as the smell of something burning wafted under my nose. I rushed into the kitchen and found Maddie at the kitchen table, her head down and arms folded in front of her. I placed my hand on her back, “Are you okay?” I asked.
Her head lifted, and it was obvious she’d been crying. “I thought maybe I liked to cook since I watched the cooking show,” she sniffled.
I fought back my laughter as I looked around the kitchen. Pots and pans were everywhere, and on top of the stove, something unrecognizable was burnt to a crisp inside one of my pans. “Well, you may just need some practice,” I chuckled lightly. A faint smile appeared on her face as her eyes lit up my heart. “A lot more practice,” I laughed.
She finally broke free from her soured mood and laughed with me. “I was having fun until I burnt everything,” she laughed.
I sat down at the table, reached across, and took her hand in mine. Our eyes locked, and even though hers were still filled with sadness and frustration, I could see a glimmer of hope within them. “Where did you get the recipe?” I asked, hoping to find out what this meal was supposed to be.
“From the TV. I thought I wrote everything down, but I messed up something, obviously,” she smirked.
“Well, maybe you need a TV in the kitchen, so you can follow along,” I suggested and received a wide smile for my offer.
I calmed her down, gave her a big hug, and sent her off to get a shower. I worked on cleaning up the kitchen.
After nearly an hour, Maddie came downstairs wearing a pretty blue sundress that matched her eyes and stood in the doorway. “I thought we could go out for dinner,” she said softly.
I snickered as I put the last washed pan away and quickly tied the garbage bag that held two pans I couldn’t salvage from her abuse. “That’s a great idea,” I smiled.
Maddie didn’t talk much on the ride to the restaurant. We agreed on a nice little Italian place, and after that, she played with the stereo, switching from station to station, trying to find something familiar, or at least something she liked. Finally, she stopped on a classic rock station and sat back in her seat. As Don Mclean belted out “American Pie,” Maddie began to sing along. Her cheeks brightened pink, and her eyes widened as she began to effortlessly spit out the lyrics. Watching her smile and listening to the sweet melody of her voice made my heart swell in my chest, tightening it to the point I felt my rib cage would crack open.
“Oh my god! I knew that song,” she exclaimed, so bouncy and excited in the passenger seat of my Escalade.
“See, you’re getting your memory back. It just takes time,” I smiled.
Time? I was running out of time. Her memory was returning, and quickly. What was I going to do when she finally remembered everything? It could be sooner than I realized… than I hoped.
Chapter Ten
Maddie
The clouds in the sky turned an eerie shade of gray, and the grass beneath my feet caught fire. I ran as fast as I could, running from the fire, but not knowing where to hide. Sweat poured down my forehead, trickling into my eyes, making them itch. My skin felt icy cold, even with the heat of the fire so close behind me. I wanted out of this place, but how? Where was I?
Maddie! My name was called, and then again, Maddie!
The voice was familiar, one I’d certainly heard before. I ran towards the voice, deeper and deeper into the darkness. The fire at my feet stopped chasing me, and suddenly the sky turned bright blue with no cloud in sight. Where was I? Where was whoever had called me?
I walked slowly through the tall green grass; it was plush and soothing to my bare feet. I was wearing my nightgown, the same one I’d put on before bed, but I wasn’t in bed anymore. This wasn’t Isaac’s guest bedroom, and it didn’t look like any place I’d ever been. Maddie!
I followed the voice, walking past a large weeping willow tree and then over a small hill. A figure, a man, stood at the bottom of the hill near a creek. He was tall, with dark hair and tanned skin. Muscles rippled from his arms and down his chest like a washboard. I stopped as he turned towards me, his dark eyes piercing through my heart and into my soul. “Rob?” I muttered. Who was Rob, and did I know him?
“Come to me; I won’t hurt you,” the man spoke.
I was scared, frozen in my spot. My heart strings were being tugged at viciously as I so wanted to run into his strong arms. He was so familiar, so inviting, but something was making me stay where I was, frozen on the hill.
He started to walk towards me, and I turned to look over my shoulder for an escape. The grass fire was back, this time higher and hotter, and headed right for me. “Run to me,” the man called out, his arms wide open to catch me and protect me.
“No,” I shouted, but didn’t move in either direction.
His eyes turned red and fiery like the grass, and he rushed towards me. When he stopped, he stood right in front of me, his eyes no longer red, and his face chiseled to perfection. “Rob?” I asked again.
He nodded, “I’m here.”
My body fell limp, falling right into his arms. I was warm there, safe there, and for a moment, I knew I knew this man. My eyes closed as he held me, squeezing me tightly and nuzzling his lips on my neck. It felt good, real good. My pussy twitched with excitement, and my nipples tingled as they pressed against his hard chest. Yes, I did know this man, but how?
My eyes opened and watched the fiery grass burning all around us in a perfect circle. It started to close in, getting closer and closer to where we stood. “We have to go,” I shouted, but he didn’t move. His squeeze around me tightened and caused me to let out a squeal from the pain. “Let me go!” I screamed.
He looked down at me, his eyes shining fire red once again. “You aren’t going anywhere,” he snarled, and then brought
one hand from my waist to my neck. He gripped me hard, causing me to choke. I could feel the air being restricted and my brain growing dizzy. My hands pulled at his fingers, trying to force them to release, but he was too strong.
Everything flashed red, and then went black as I gasped for breath. He was gone, I was in my bed, and without any control, I let out a loud scream into the dark room.
“Maddie,” Isaac’s warm, but panicked, voice was music to my ears. He pushed through the bedroom door and rushed to my side. “Are you okay?” he asked, still obviously rattled.
Tears rolled down my face as I absorbed all the emotion thrown at me during the nightmare. “It was him again,” I gasped.
“Who?” he asked.
“The man from my nightmare, he was trying to hurt me again, but I know I knew him, I could feel it. I kept calling him Rob,” I rattled, still shaken by the experience that felt so real.
I looked up to Isaac, hoping to get some answers, but his face was pale and without expression. “Why do you think you know him?” he asked.
“Because, I could feel it, and I called him Rob, he answered to Rob,” I explained spastically.
“Do you know him now?” Isaac asked.
I shook my head. I didn’t. The memory, or the start of one, was gone. “Did someone try to hurt me?” I asked.
“I think this is all from the accident. Memories come back in weird ways; the doctor told us that,” he stated.
That twinge of guilt returned in my gut. Maybe I was cheating on Isaac with this man, this man named Rob who was not willing to let me go, and would go to any lengths to keep me. Was I a good person?
I stared into Isaac’s beautiful green eyes and wondered if I was capable of hurting him like that. He obviously didn’t believe me or believe that I’d been hurt, so it had to be something I kept a secret. Why else would I keep the secret about a man hurting me from my fiancé?
“I need therapy,” I blurted out, figuring someone other than Isaac might be good for me to talk to. “It’s been nearly a month, and I still haven’t remembered much,” I added.