I’m a mess. Out of control. I was supposed to feel nothing when I saw Andrew again. Instead, I’m feeling too many different things.
It’s almost like I’m two steps away from a mental breakdown.
That demon that once possessed me, made me believe I couldn’t take my next breath if I didn’t have him, is on my heels. It chases me. Torments me.
Reminds me that the addiction never truly went away. It’s insidious. A virulent presence deep in my bone marrow.
I’m helpless. Once again drowning in a sickness that has destroyed me one too many times.
It’s my fault that I remained on the path leading to Stephen. That I let him convince me he truly hadn’t known about the video. Every decision I made at the age of eighteen and onward led me to the pain I endured under Stephen.
Yet, I can’t deny that Andrew’s actions set me on the path in the first place. His father tricked my father, and then Andrew tricked me.
I despise myself for the way I feel, for the fact that I feel anything other than hatred for him.
My brain disengages from my body. Disassociation. I can’t deal with all of this. Taking out my keys, I hit the button and unlock my car.
Footsteps reach my ears.
Years of trauma and hypervigilance take over, tensing all my muscles, preparing me for a fight.
“Lexi.”
Andrew.
I debate opening the door, jumping into my car, and speeding like a devil out of here.
But I’ll have to face him tomorrow, won’t I?
Limbs numb, I face him. Concern flares, and it shouldn’t. What does it matter that he seems different, that the look in his eyes is abnormal?
Warped, frightening. So intense that heat explodes through my veins, turning a freezing body molten in a second.
He backs me into my car. I shouldn’t let him.
I do.
Can’t stop it.
I still want this man.
And he knows it.
“You shouldn’t look at me like that, Lexi. Not if you want me to keep my hands to myself.” He flattens his hands on the window by my head.
I don’t look away. This darkness in him is too fascinating to ignore.
He ducks his head, lips grazing mine. “Tell me to move away. Tell me not to kiss you.”
I don’t.
I see a flash of a smirk, so similar to the cocky one I remember, before his mouth comes down on my own.
How far are you willing to go for the one you love?
I finally have her back.
She’s no longer the same girl I once knew.
Shattered, ruined, her sad eyes tear me apart every time she stares at me.
I know who hurt her the most. She won’t tell me; she doesn’t have to. I know.
Seven years of waiting for an excuse to destroy Stephen Menahan, and now I have one of the best reasons I could have ever been given.
Are you willing to destroy yourself to get them back?
It doesn’t take long for me to realize that I don’t just have to fight to win Lexi’s forgiveness—I have to fight to help put my girl back together.
Menahan deserves to suffer.
Menahan deserves to die.
I’m coming for him, one systematic move at a time. I’m going to deliver my girl the vengeance she deserves.
The vengeance we both deserve.
And that starts with ending Menahan’s best friend, his constant ally in crime.
First on my list?
Barnard Wellington. A man that was once my best friend as well.
And I know exactly how I’m going to kill him.
33
“I need to come, Lexi.”
The words are selfish. Self-centered. But that doesn’t make them any less true.
I’m lying. They aren’t self-centered. This has nothing to do with me. It’s all about her.
Those lips.
The way she smells.
Her body ignites my soul. For the first time in almost a decade, the feel of a woman’s body actually activates a response in me.
I force her mouth open and rub my tongue against hers roughly. She takes it, all of it, soft little mewls echoing in the back of her mouth.
Yes. Fuck, yes.
My hips shove into her, pressing her into the car. Things fall to the floor. What? I don’t know and I sure as hell don’t care. I yank on the bottom of Lexi’s tight black dress. She claws at my blazer, trying to rip it off.
Not close enough. Not close enough.
I grind into her harder, but there’s no room between us. Her leg wraps around my hips, trying to bring me in closer.
Shit. I need more.
Grunting, I lift her up, her back sliding along her black Escalade. Both her legs wrap around me, and we’re nothing more than a straining, needy mess, our teeth and tongues dueling for dominance.
My cock’s wet for her, and I know her pussy’s even wetter for me.
Goddamn it, I need to get at it. Need to touch it. Taste it. It’s been too long.
“Drew.” Lexi struggles in my arms, hips thrusting, clearly searching out her own orgasm. “Drew.”
I drop her back on her feet. Her surprised gasp echoes around us. “Where are your fucking keys, Lexi?”
Her gorgeous eyes widen with realization. Shaking, disoriented, she looks around the ground and spots her purse.
“Hurry, Lexi.” There’s no hiding the wild impatience in my voice. I grab my cock and squeeze it, trying to lessen this insane urge I have to flip her around, push her against the car, and just fuck her until she takes every drop of my come.
Lexi’s trembling too hard to properly search through her bag. She looks up at me, eyes falling to where I’m jerking my dick, and her entire world seems to stop.
I moan low under my breath at her hungry stare. I want to step up to her, grab that pony tail, and force her face into my crotch. My dick aches for those lips, her tongue. “Lexi.”
“I-I . . .” She pulls her eyes away from my dick and looks around frantically.
“There,” I groan, pointing to where the keys fell next to the tire. By sheer force of will, I let my cock go. It takes even more willpower to wait for her to pick up those keys and hit the unlock button.
As soon as I hear the locks disengage, I pull open the door and rush her inside.
Fuck her purse. Her briefcase. Whatever is inside either. I’ll replace everything if I have to, but I can’t wait any longer. She scrambles along the back seat and I follow her inside. I can imagine what I look like as I close the door and crawl over her.
Seven years of obsessively yearning for her have changed me. I’ve gone fucking crazy over her and the worst part is that I’m aware of it. I know how sick this love has made me. What it’s turned me into.
I have no doubt that I look like a monster to her right now. A starving, merciless being that has only one thing on its mind.
“I can’t help myself, baby. I’m going to fuck you. Right here. And it’s going to be hard. I’m going to hurt you,” I warn her, reaching for her smooth, beautiful leg.
She lunges for me before I can, pushing me back against the closed door. My head hits the roof, but she doesn’t give a fuck about that. Her fingers pull at my belt, tear at my zipper, reach inside to grab the most painful part of me.
I slam back into the door, practically convulsing. Her hand on my cock feels better than any other woman’s pussy. Grinding my teeth, I close my eyes, trying to hold on. Can’t explode yet. I want to. Her touch combined with her presence is fucking with my twisted mind in just the right way, messing with my bodily responses.
She mumbles, low, surprised words, invoking a God that can’t save her now. I feel her pull me out of my pants, her soft hand caressing me reverently.
And I start to come. Just like that. One ghost caress from Lexi is all it takes for my body to bow backwards against the door as blinding pleasure consumes me.
I’m screaming again. Roaring. Stuck in a v
ortex of memories and agony.
I’ve fucked a thousand pussies since I lost her, searching for a single shred of sensation like the kind she can cause in me.
And I found nothing. Nothing but emotional black holes. A world of shame. Hurricanes of anger and madness that grew with every failed fuck. Because none of them were her. None of them could ever compare.
34
I’m still shuddering against the door and can’t bring myself to look down at my girl. My dick’s harder than ever, straining in her grasp, and even though I just came, I can feel another one building up in my balls.
“I’ve always wanted to . . .”
Her voice. God, fuck, help me.
Behind my closed eyelids, my eyes roll into the back of my head.
She always wanted to what?
Soft, plump, familiar flesh touches the tip of my dick, then parts, sucking me into wet heaven.
My eyes fly open.
“Lexi. Fuck. Fuck. What—”
Oh God. Oh God. My girl’s head is tilted to the side, her succulent lips open and wrapped around my cock. She’s shy, hesitant, but her tongue feels so fucking perfect as she slowly tongues me and takes me in deeper.
A loud inhuman growl is ripped out of me and I arch back into the door. One hand claws at the roof of the car. The other flies down to wrap around her ponytail and hold her to me. Need blinds me and I forget all about her comfort.
Tightening my hand, I force her mouth down on me, sliding all the way into the back of her throat.
She gags around me, a small, shocked sound leaving her.
The feel of her throat constricting around my tip sends me flying over yet another edge.
Painful.
Perfect.
She won’t stop gagging around me and each constriction sucks even more come out of me. Tears streak down her face, and I can hear her struggling to breath above my loud moans.
I can’t stop.
Won’t stop.
I hold her head to me, her lips wrapped around the base of my dick, and force her to swallow every bit of come she forced out of me. One last shudder goes through me and I fall limp, my entire body going numb from the back-to-back orgasms.
Lexi pulls back, heaving, gasping.
Worry sparks.
What the fuck did I just do? How could I do that to her? I’m even more of a fucking asshole than I realized.
She wipes at her tear-stained cheeks and licks my come off her lips. “Holy fuck . . . that was so good.”
I lunge. Lifting her off the seat, I move her all the way to the other side and force her to lay on her back. She lets me part her legs, watching me with clouded eyes. “You liked that baby? You liked me forcing my cock deep into your throat and filling it with my come?”
She swallows hard and nods.
Oh yeah. This girl is dying to be fucked by me. God damn, that drives me crazy. I reach between her legs and fist her panties.
Her eyes widen and she gasps nervously. There’s something different in her eyes now. Something that should worry me.
I’m too far gone to focus on it.
One tug is all it takes for her panties to give way. Her lush, pink pussy grabs all my attention. I barely hear her whimper above the sound of my roaring heart. Her entire body tenses.
Another red flag.
Damn me, I should pay attention. I should listen to the loud warning signals blaring all around me.
But I can’t.
My world narrows to the sight of that pussy. I lunge down between her legs, pushing her roughly up against the door to make more room for my body.
Then it’s just my lips and her cunt. No soft kisses. No easing her into it. I open my mouth against her and lick her from ass to clit. Lexi jerks, her body silently seizing.
I lick her again, and again, my tongue dipping into her entrance each time.
And it isn’t lost on me. There’s no barrier.
Someone’s been here before me.
Of course they were.
I’ve forgotten all about my previous suspicions, her fear when I got close to her in her office.
I pull back and my lip curls as a growl leaves me. Grabbing her thighs, I jerk them open wider. It’s been seven years. I have no right to expect her to still be a virgin. It makes sense that she didn’t wait for me.
I. Don’t. Fucking. Care.
“This is mine, you hear me?” I look up at her wide, slightly frightened eyes. Fear. There’s no ignoring it now. She’s afraid of me. And I don’t give a damn about that, either. She should be afraid. “I don’t give a fuck who had you after I tasted you. Who got to take you. They don’t fucking matter because this is mine and it’s always belonged to me. But you forgot that, didn’t you, Lexi?”
Her lips part and her voice breaks when she tries to say my name. “A-Andrew.”
“Yeah. You fucking forgot. But after I’m done with you, you’ll never forget again.”
35
I use my thumbs to spread her plump pussy lips open. She’s glistening from both her juices and my saliva—the most beautiful cunt I’ve ever seen.
The tip of my tongue teases her entrance and I almost lose my fucking mind as her core clenches, trying to suck me in. “You need me in this pussy so bad, don’t you?” I kiss her pussy softly.
Lexi’s eyes roll into the back of her head and her hips churn for more. “Yes. Oh. My. God. It’s so good, Andrew. Eat my pussy.” There’s awe in her voice.
None of the men she’s ever been with have been able to play this pussy the way I am right now. It’s obvious.
God damn it, I’m not going to be able to let her leave this car without slamming my cock in her.
Breaths harsh, I pull back in an effort to regain some form of normalcy. “Baby. We need to get the fuck out of here. I need to get you somewhere with a bed.”
“Don’t care.” She yanks my head back between my legs and slides her slick cunt along my mouth.
I suck her clit in and make out with it, giving her soft, leisurely licks. Her head falls back against the door and her hips move faster.
Every fucking moan seals her fate that much more. She needs me; what I feel goes beyond need.
God forgive me, but I’m going to tear this woman’s entire world apart, leaving room for nothing but me.
My fingers tighten around her thighs and I know I’m grabbing her too hard. Every molecule vibrates with this mad hunger, and I bite down on her pussy lip, out of control.
Lexi yelps, back bowing.
She loves that. Loves the pain I can give her.
I never knew I wanted to hurt her, but right now I do. I want us both to ache and bleed for each other as I make her come.
Another bite on her other lip and then I lave her clit with my tongue, up and down, side to side, teasing it until it swells to a painful point.
I devour her pussy at my own pace, ignoring her pleas, the way she moves her hips to get the friction she needs to come.
Possession clamors inside me, choking me. I love her more than I’ve ever loved her before; I hate her for turning me into this.
I suck on her clit hard, punishing her for being so fucking delicious.
Lexi’s head rises and her eyes lock with me—frantic, afraid.
No, terrified.
She’s so close to coming and she’s panicking at the sensation, even as her body tenses, her hips lock up—
“Andrew, no. Please. Wait.”
I lick her clit in circles.
Her back arches, her lips parting with a scream.
My name. She’s screaming my name over and over, coming violently all over my face.
I slide two of my fingers into her, stuffing her small pussy full. She’s creaming, so wet that my fingers are instantly drenched.
I scissor them, spreading her hole open, and press my thumb roughly into her clit.
Her hand slaps the fogged window above her head. Her eyes are squeezed shut, tears leaking down her face and leaving makeup marks on h
er cheeks.
She’s trying to shut me out. Block the intensity of what’s happening between us.
I’ve never been able to block this out, even through all those years of not having her, so she’s fucking mistaken if she thinks I’m letting her.
I rear back away from her onto my knees although the height of the car makes it almost impossible.
Her eyes fly open at the loss of my fingers. The devastated need I see in them pacifies me.
I fist my cock and cup my tight balls. “You’re getting this. Now.”
Shaking, she slides up into a sitting position, eyeing my dick.
And I see it. A perfect reflection of my insanity. A dark, hungry, twisted desire that isn’t anywhere near normal.
It gives me pause.
I want her crazy for me. I need her like that.
But my girl isn’t just crazy for me; she’s crazy, period. I would know.
There’s something really wrong with her.
I let go of my dick and balls.
Lexi reaches forward, fisting my balls and yanking them hard.
My thoughts scramble. I grab her wrist to stop her. Have to concentrate. She’s more important.
Lexi fists my dick with her other hand and tugs it roughly. Like she hates me and loves me as much I do her, and she needs to make me feel the bite of that all over my body.
Too late. It’s in my soul.
“Baby, wait, we need—”
Outside the car, a loud, blaring sound goes off.
She falls back, gasping, terror in her eyes. “My phone.”
Her what?
Half-turning, she opens the door behind her and practically pours backwards out of the car. The way she runs around to the other side, where her purse still is, tells me everything I need to know.
That unholy ring tone is coming from her phone.
And whatever it is, it means that something really bad is happening.
Systematic Siege Box Set: Parts 1-3 Page 10