I’ll have to find Lexi later.
Walking into the dark auditorium, I freeze dead in my tracks, sounds I remember so fucking well blasting out of all of the speakers.
“Andrew! Oh . . . you’re . . . I’m coming . . . uh!”
Eyes wide, I stare at the front of the stage, at the video projecting. Me. Lexi. Us. What happened last night. Our private moment. I stagger back, rage burning my mind.
The lights blaze on and all hell breaks loose.
40
Four pages. That’s how far into the complicated contract I have to read before I find what I need.
Under the Mutuality of Obligations section. Fifth one down. There, I see the beginning of a multi-page agreement of one of the obligations my company is under in return for Lexi’s employment with us.
Medical care.
Extensive.
Expensive.
Ongoing until either we find a cure for the patient . . .
Or the patient dies.
I see the name of the patient we’re paying to treat, and I have to close my eyes to contain the painful shock that goes through me.
No. Shit, no. She’s all my girl has left. She already suffered so much after what my father did to her.
Once, a long time ago, she’d been like a second mother to me. Back when I was young and was allowed to go spend time in the Berkman’s house.
I shake my head and go back to reading the contract, searching for some sign of what she’s being treated for.
But, of course, there’s none. The contract itself wouldn’t detail that. The only way to find out is to get into the medical records.
Or speak to the patient herself.
I can’t go in there while Lexi is still visiting. I’ll have to wait until she leaves.
So option one it is.
Bringing my phone to my ear, I call one of my faithful employees in Lexi’s department. Finn went to school with me and Lexi, and he was by my side all these years. He saw it all. The rise. The fall. My long, dark flirtation with death. He knows everything.
And he’s proven time and time again he’s one of the only people I can trust.
“Do you know how hard it was to hide myself from Lexi the last three days?” No hello. No, hey how are ya? As usual, Finn just jumps straight to business. Business being him haranguing me, of course.
“Why were you hiding from her?” I ask, praying for patience. I don’t have time for this. The information I need is of the utmost importance. But if I don’t humor him, I won’t be getting anything out of him.
“What do you mean why? Did you tell me I could waltz on up to her and reintroduce myself after all these years?”
“I didn’t know you needed my permission.”
“Hello? Contractual obligation. And best friend obligation as well. I’m supposed to check in with you in regards to every step of this obsessive, sick, twisted plan of yours.”
I sigh and rub the space between my eyebrows. Like I said, he’s beyond loyal.
He’s also annoying as all hell.
“Finn, you have permission to introduce yourself to Lexi. Finn, you also don’t have permission to tell her anything of what I’m up to.”
“Oh, you mean the stalking her part?”
I roll my eyes up to the heavens. “Yes, and anything pertaining to that. On that note, I need you to hack into the Hackensack Medical server.”
The sound of his fingers flying over the keyboard reaches me through the phone. “What am I looking for?”
“Eliana Berkman. I need to know what she’s in there for and what her treatment entails.”
“Done.” Just like that, my phone vibrates, and I know it’s my inbox alerting me to the receipt of the file.
“Remind me not to make you my enemy,” I say.
“Remind yourself.”
Chuckling, I hang up the phone and download the massive files. Mrs. Berkman’s diagnoses is right at the beginning of her medical record.
AIDS.
Confused, I read on. The woman I remember wasn’t the type to sleep around. Unless she met someone who had it and didn’t know before sleeping with them?
One line catches my attention. New Strain Unidentified in CDC Databases. A sick feeling of dread twists my stomach. No. He’s a sick bastard, but he can’t be this fucked up.
Of course he can.
I fire off a text to Finn.
Drew: Find a way inside Menahan’s medical department. Mainly their pharmaceuticals. I want to know what he’s experimenting on in there.
It’s nothing more than a novelty confirmation. I already know for a fact that he’s capable of doing this.
And what better way to control my girl? Eliana is everything to Lexi. Everything.
For the last nine hours, I’ve been going crazy wondering why she would end up working for Stephen.
Now I know.
Just as I know who’s the head of his medicinal and pharmaceutical branch.
Fucking Barnard.
He could have spared himself what I have planned for Kaylee and Stephen. Despite his involvement in what went down all those years ago, I might have turned the other cheek.
If what I suspect is true . . . if they did to Eliana what I think they did . . .
What am I saying? I know they did.
I send one last text to Finn and sit back to wait for Lexi to exit the hospital.
Drew: Start files on Barnard Wellington and Kaylee Whittacker. I want everything. Leave nothing out.
41
I can’t fucking see past the rage pumping through my veins. Teachers rush to turn off the video. Students are talking among themselves so loud that the sound is almost a roar in the air.
I can’t spot Lexi anywhere. Can’t see any of her friends.
Need to find her. She has to be so embarrassed. So hurt.
Who fucking did this?
Even as I ask myself that question, the answer is painfully obvious.
And then, I see him. Sneaking out the exit on the other side of the auditorium. Laughing and high-fiving Barnard.
Stephen.
They did this.
I slam back out the way I came and head out of the school. That exit leads to the fields on the other side of the building.
Single-minded in my rage, I ignore everyone that turns to stare at me.
One guy comes up to me, laughing and holding up his hand to high-five me. “Dude! You nailed the untouchable one and got it on tape!”
Is that what everyone believes? That I did this?
Growling, I slam my fist into the guy’s face. He crumbles like a house of cards.
I don’t know him. Don’t give a fuck about him.
People around me stop talking. A few even gasp. I step over the guy and continue on my way around the school.
I turn right, walking down the path next to the football field, and see those two pieces of shit no more than ten feet from the auditorium exit.
I take off running straight at Stephen. More people dash out of my way. One of them even screams, “Stephen! Bro, he’s coming right at you!”
It’s too late.
Stephen turns, eyes wide—
I tackle him to the ground and slam my fist into his face.
One hit isn’t enough.
It’ll never be.
He’ll die for doing this to my girl.
I wail on him, one hit after the other.
Someone comes up behind me and tries to yank my arms back. I know who it is without seeing. Jerking my arms out of his grip, I slam my elbow back.
I hit Barnard’s midsection. A burst of air leaves him.
Stephen, his nose and lips bleeding, reaches up to wrap his hands around my neck. He tries to buck me off.
Ignoring the fact that he’s choking me, I growl like an animal and start raining blows on his face again.
“Drew! Drew, please, stop!” It’s Kaylee. She’s pulling at me, getting between us somehow. I don’t give a damn about her, but at the same
time, I don’t want to hurt her.
She breaks Stephen’s hold on me and pulls at my shoulders until I rise. I shrug my shoulder out of her grip and slam my foot into Stephen’s chest when he tries to get up.
“Kaylee, stay the fuck out of this. I don’t want to hurt you.”
Stephen laughs, his teeth coated with blood. Spitting on the floor, he sneers up at me. “She’s the one that played the video in front of everyone.”
“He’s lying!”
I turn my head slowly, eyes narrowing in her direction. The tremor in her voice. The fear in her eyes. “You fucking bitch,” I hiss.
“Fuck you!”
Fisting my hands is the only way I can keep myself from grabbing that disgusting, envious bitch. The only way to stop myself from hurting her. “You listen to me good, you good for nothing low life.”
Several people inhale sharply around us.
I turn fully to face Kaylee and start advancing on her. “It won’t be now. It won’t be tomorrow. I’ll leave you wondering when. But trust me, one day, I’m going to fucking ruin you.”
Her face goes pale at my threat.
I hear Stephen get to his feet and turn just in time to catch the punch he’s aimed at my head. I land a left uppercut straight into his stomach. He stumbles away from me and throws up.
All of a sudden, I’m grabbed roughly from behind and it’s obvious it isn’t Kaylee this time. Too much strength. Too much mass.
I struggle to break free as another school security guard forces Stephen to stand up straight.
They start dragging us back toward the school. I struggle even harder because now I’m not just thinking of killing Stephen.
I need to find Lexi. I try to force the security guard holding me to let me go.
He pushes me toward the front of the school. Police cars are packed outside, their lights flashing.
If I try to escape, it’s going to be worse for me. They’ll keep me from Lexi longer. We pass Finn, who’s eyes me with a worried expression in his gray eyes.
“Find her!” I scream to him as I’m being led toward the officers. “Make sure she’s alright!” The only comfort I have is that he’ll know who I’m talking about. Now, I can only pray he can get to her until I’m free to find her.
42
Lexi didn’t leave for over two hours. Now, I’m the one at the front desk, asking for a pass to go see Elaina Berkman.
It takes the lady in front of me no more than a few seconds to pull up the name—and I’m hoping in those seconds. Fucking praying. Life’s already been too cruel to my Lexi. I’ll give anything for it to not be her mother up there.
I know what the damn contract said, but come on man, please, if you’re up there, let it not be Mrs. Berkman . . .
The older, blond woman grabs a pass and hands it to me, saying, “Room 503. That’s the—”
“The intensive care unit. I know.” My entire chest feels heavy with disappointment. Yet, fuck. I know what I read in that contract. Was I really stupid enough to hope it wasn’t true?
Yeah. Yeah, I was.
“Been here often?” The lady asks me nicely.
I nod, taking the pass. She has no idea who I am. What I do for this hospital.
Running a hand over my head, I walk over to the elevator and wait with everyone else. More people that don’t know who I am. More of them that have no idea what’s happening inside me.
I want to call Lexi. Fuck me, I want to chase her down and find a way to erase whatever horrors she’s been through.
If Menahan did this to her, he’s probably done more. Much worse.
Her sad, scared eyes flash through my mind—
No. Not now. I can’t think about this. Can’t assume.
There’s a vicious darkness in the pit of my brain. It’s laughing at me. Telling me it’s only a matter of time.
If what I think is true, I know what type of monster I’m about to become.
And for her, it’ll all be worth it.
I’ll kill the whole motherfucking world in her name, if I must.
Inside the elevator, I’m fidgety. Darkness continues to spread, now within my veins, telling me it knows the truth. All I have to do is listen.
I can’t. Grinding my teeth, I shove all of it into a corner of my mind.
Compartmentalize. Ignore. Refocus on the present. All tricks of a damaged boy turned into a damaged man.
Tricks of a past-junkie that learned to live with his crippling addictions—well, one of them. The heroin cravings I can deal with and ignore.
The cravings for Lexi have slowly driven me mad.
But I’m not so mad that I’ve lost my compassion for innocent people. Elaina? She’s one of them. And before I head out to find her daughter, I’m going to first find out what exactly happened to her.
I get off the elevator and head straight for the nurse’s desk. When I ask her where the room I’m looking for is, she smiles brightly at me.
“You know Mrs. Berkman?”
I nod, but it isn’t enough. She wants details. I see it in her beaming eyes. “Since I was a kid.”
Her smile somehow widens. “Her daughter is the only one that comes to visit. It’s so nice to see a new face.”
She leads me toward the room, and my heart beats harder. Faster. Painful.
I loved that woman once. Almost as much as I’d loved my own mother. For a few years, while my father was still playing buddy-buddy with Mr. Berkman, I was allowed to be close to Lexi.
Allowed to go over to their place.
Elaina took care of me. Welcomed me. Gave me affection. My mother always suffocated me in it, but it was nice to get more of it out there in the world.
When your father is a piece of shit, and the people in your social class seem to mimic his behaviors, you start to believe there isn’t much good in the world.
Elaina is that good. She had the inner light that was so brilliant it made me happier just to be in her presence.
An inner light her daughter inherited.
The nurse steps aside so I can walk into the room.
I do, each step becoming slower and slower. My eyes bounce off all the machines. The wires.
The frail, thin, blond woman laying in the bed.
The oxygen mask over her face.
Gray eyes I know so well, eyes her daughter also inherited, open to focus on me. They widen, then water, and my name leaves her in a frail but happy whisper, “Drew.”
And I know. I know she believes I’m innocent. That whatever happened, she knows I’m still that kid that fell in love with her daughter and would rather die than do her harm.
My knees buckle beneath me and my upper body falls onto the bed next to her as I start sobbing, torn apart by the sight of her like that.
43
That big, monstrous cock nearly choked me to death. The taste of him? Vicious. Merciless in its ability to make a woman addicted.
His voice coming . . . It’s even deeper now than it was seven years ago.
Or was it something else that made his voice lower to an almost brutal degree? When he’d screamed for me, his come spurting down my throat, the tone of his voice had been a perfect match to the maddened look in his eyes.
“Stop!” I slam my hand on the steering wheel, vision blurred with tears.
My mom’s taken yet another turn for the worse. The doctors don’t know how long they’ll be able to keep her alive. So, why the fuck am I stuck thinking of Andrew’s cock?
The answer is so simple, disgustingly obvious, and I’ve never loathed myself more than I do now.
You still want him, Lex.
Fucking stupid bitch that I am.
But . . . I’ve never felt pleasure with anyone but him. Only three men have touched me in my life. First, him. Then, Stephen raped me.
By the time I got to Paul, I had nothing left to give.
Or so I thought.
Andrew fucking manhandled me in the back of this truck. Rag-dolled me. Forced me to take ever
y ounce of pleasure he could force out of my body.
And, instead of locking up or zoning out—instead of recalling every traumatizing instant of all the times Stephen abused me—I became nothing more than an aching, pounding, empty hole.
One that would have given everything in this entire Universe to be filled by that juicy, swollen dick, and pumped full of Andrew’s come.
I start crying harder. “There’s something wrong with you, girl. Something really wrong with you.” Wiping at my tears, I struggle to get myself under control.
I need to be in control. I’m finally in a better place to help my mom. We might not have much time left, but Drevlow Systems has an even larger pharmaceuticals division than Menahan does.
They can save my mom. I have to believe that. But that means I have to keep my shit straight and deliver some good shit to both Mr. Drevlows to get them to agree to pour more money into helping my mom.
Does Andrew know about her yet? The thought is occurring to me for the first time.
I scoff at my obviously spreading idiocy. Of course he knows. There’s no way he hasn’t read the contract.
Frantic, I wonder if he’d be amiable to helping my mom out before I start handing in any real work. Maybe if I go to him and plead with him, he’ll find it in him to help the woman that has always cared for him so much?
Yeah fucking right. This is Ronald Drevlow’s son. A man that has already proven what a cold-hearted, vicious manipulator he can be.
No matter what my mother thinks, how much she’s continued to defend him throughout the years, I can’t forget the truth.
But what the fuck am I going to do then?
Work hard. Work my ass off.
Give Andrew the thing both of us want—Menahan’s ruin.
It won’t be soon enough. You have to try! I don’t know why my retarded brain believes that beseeching Andrew is an option—
Fuck it. It truly is my only option.
Cursing, I take the first exit off the highway and pull off the road as soon as I can. My hands are shaking as I take my phone out of my purse.
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